{/profile --

ramblings of a young adult

Simple Plan - I Won't Be There

I don't wanna make this
Harder than I have to
This is how it has to be
There's so many things I want to say
But you just don't listen to me

I don't want to hurt you
You don't want to hurt me
I can't stand you
And you can't stand me
We can't rearrange
You can never change me
Say goodbye
Nothing I say could change your mind cuz

[CHORUS:]
I can't stay
Tomorrow I'll be on my way
So don't expect to find me sleeping in my bed
'Cuz when you wake up
I won't be there

Everything I say
You find a way to make it
Sound like I was born just yesterday
Everything you taught me
Really means a lot
I'm going my way

I don't want to hurt you
You don't want to hurt me
I can't stand you
And you can't stand me
We can't rearrange
You can never change me
Say goodbye
Nothing I say could change your mind 'cuz

[CHORUS]

This is the last night
That I spend at home
And it won't take too long
For you to notice
Won't take long for you to find out
That I'm gone

[CHORUS x 2]


Another day. Feeling so hungry now. *Sigh* Today lessons simply sucks. As usual going to sleep in class. Nothing new anyway. Taken Maths test today or perhaps retest. First time in my life need retest for Maths. Hate myself for that. And making me hate Maths. Although Maths is the "can make it" subject for me.
"Can you don't just shut up? I'm trying to understand what the textbook is saying."
"Oh my God. Its so hot!"
Maths make me think about these 2 sentences.. Haiz. Can someone just kill me? Or perhaps hit my head real hard so that I won't think about the past anymore..
Was talking to hunnie yesterday, then she SMSed me telling me that there was a black out. -_-" Here is the report that they reported yesterday.
Power restored after blackout hits most of S'pore
SINGAPORE -- Power was fully restored two hours after a blackout hit many parts of Singapore at around 10pm on Tuesday night. The power outage was caused by a disruption in natural gas supplies from Indonesia.
Readers called up The Straits Times Interactive at 10.15pm to say that the power failure affected city areas such as River Valley Road, Havelock Road and some parts of Orchard Road.
The power outage also hit Queenstown, Clementi and Holland Village. Residential estates in the northern, eastern and western parts of Singapore such as Bishan, Serangoon, Hougang, Sengkang, Joo Chiat, Bukit Batok and Jurong were also plunged into darkness.
But Toa Payoh, Pasir Ris and Woodlands were not affected by the blackout.[*LOL* thanks dad for moving to Pasir Ris =X ]
Thirty minutes after the widespread blackout, lights were reported to have gradually come back on in Changi, Serangoon North, Bishan, Clementi, Bukit Batok, Simei and other affected areas.
Mobile phone lines were also down as many people had tried to call or SMS their friends to inform them about the blackout.
The Singapore Civil Defence Force responded to over 20 calls from people who were trapped in lifts during the power outage, a spokesman said on Tuesday.
This is the third major blackout this year, with the most recent one lasting 20 minutes, having been triggered off on April 20 after part of the Nicoll Highway collapsed. A week before the incident, 80,000 households suffered a power outage for an hour.
Read the full story in The Straits Times on Wednesday.
**End**
This lead me to thinking about if Singapore don't have any friendship with other country, will Singapore survive? I doubt so. Singapore is so small that it needs other country to let us have water, electricity blah blah blah.. Oh well, whatever.
Time for my study. =( Retest on Chemistry tomorrow. *Sigh* Another sucky day I guess. Xiao shuai shuai so clever. Get distinction for Science. I also can. "distinction" for Scinece. F9 only ma. =X

Another day.. Sleepy. Eyes are so tired right now. Anytime can close the eyes. ARgh, whatever.
Boring. First period was actually History. Although I enjoy history lesson, but in the end, I'm so sleepy that I fall asleep during class. Then wait wait wait finally lesson finish. Then continue sleeping until English teacher came.
Alright, I don't know what to continue, I don't have to mood to continue. I'm so freaking tired. And I hate it. =( Test tomorrow and the rest of the week. Fuck sia. First week already test. Hate it :(
Missing you..

I guess the smile is back.. I guess..


Another boring day. Woke up at 0630, but get back to sleep again till 0640. Woke up and rush for shower. So tired. Time table actually change, and the first period was actually MATHS!! *fainted* Didn't do anything for Maths at all. I look down the time table, damn hell.. Got chemistry. -_-" Die liao, all homeworks didnt touch at all. Didn't even bring the notes to school~ Well done. *Clap*
First period was actually Maths, but in the end, expected. The Principal talk talk talk till 1st period over. And the second period also mathS~ *SiaNz* There he is, talking about courses to get into for Poly. Hmmm.. I've choose some accountacy course which available in TP. Hmm... The COP[Cut Off Point] is 19. I hope that I be able to get it! I love accountacy. The top 2 are accountact. And the last one was acutally Business IT. Anyone have any idea about it? I guess gonna make use of IT to set up business? *LOL* Just a guess. The COP was 22. I think I be able to get in. Hmmm.. This course is available in TP, NP, SP and NYP. Hmm.. I guess many people can get it in. Well, when I free, I will check up the web ba. Right now, finish crapping and go to bed..
Finally school finish, reach home, nua till 3pm. Then went to dad shop till 9plus. Finish my dinner at around 10pm, shower, and sat here.
Touching my ear right now, with my damn smelly pillow on my leg. :D Oh man, the ear.. *cries* got effection~ should I close it? Hmm.. It's so bloody painful.. I cried..
Reasons for crying:
1) Lost the loved ones.
2) Relationship. [Actually 1 & 2 same. Over emotions]
3) The ear so bloody pain~
Ouch.. This is the first time I'm facing these type of pains~ So hard to describe. =( Should I let it close? I don't think I will.. After all, it's still the part of my body..
2 questions! Please answer..!
1) What is Business IT course?
2) Should I let the hole close? Aww~ ='(
A song to intro. Yes again. Intro by my hunnie~ *muacks* love a lot~

I'm still waiting till now. It's 2 months and 4 days since we parted. Everyday living with pains. The MSN display picutre that you've put, it stabs my heart, deeply. Hmm... Maybe I should force myself to invole in love~ Yeah, I mean relationship. But think back, kinda bad and mean. And I'm the one in pain after all. Can't forget means can't forget. Why should I be forcing myself to get into another relationship just to forget about him? =( Hate those sucky feelings. *Ouch* Sometimes it hurts.. It do does hurt. Well, I guess I'm still a girl who haven't learn how to walk. I need someone to guide me along, to teach me how to stand up, so that I won't fall again. And someone by myside, hold me if I fall.. Well, where's he?
He might be reading it, might not be reading these. [I guess you guys know whom am I refering to.] But somehow those words inside my body I still have to tell him. No matter what happen next, somewhere not far away from you, there's someone who still really care for you. Even if you don't realise it, one day, if you still turn to me by calling me even at 4am in the morning, I will still pick up that call. Just to let you pour all the sadness at me. A promise from my heart. And I mean every word that I've spoken here.
Even if years down the road, or even now, you meet a new girl, I be happy for you. Please tell me that. I will pray to God above just for you. Hoping you to get all the bliss. I won't spilt you guys up. I just want you to me happy. Walking down Town, hoping to see you. Well, these thinking of my mind will stop here and get a real LIFE. I hope I will do whatever I've said. Somehow, I'm the one still in pain afterall..

PS: Hunnie, please don't bang the wall. Just some words that I really want to tell him.
Night people. Sorry for reading all these craps that I've wrote.

Don't feel like blogging. Look at the time right now. Less then 12 hours I be in school. =( Haiz, I havent even touch any of my assignment. Ok whatever.
XiaoHui: If happen you see this, between me and William already no longer friends. Since he already choose this way, then let it be. I've no idea why between both of you, you guys broke up. But since both of you already path up, then let it be. I don't want to talk about it anymore. What he want, he want. His stuffs are still with me. Find one day when you're free. Meet up with me, I pass to you then you pass to him ba. I don't want to have any relationship with him anymore. =] Hope you understand. I'm just kinda piss off with him.

A song to intro.
Guns N' Roses - Don't Cry

Talk to me softly
There's something in your eyes
Don't hang your head in sorrow
And please don't cry
I know how you feel inside I've
I've been there before
Somethin's changin' inside you
And don't you know

Don't you cry tonight
I still love you baby
Don't you cry tonight
Don't you cry tonight
There's a heaven above you baby
And don't you cry tonight

Give me a whisper
And give me a sigh
Give me a kiss before you
tell me goodbye
Don't you take it so hard now
And please don't take it so bad
I'll still be thinkin' of you
And the times we had...baby

And don't you cry tonight
Don't you cry tonight
Don't you cry tonight
There's a heaven above you baby
And don't you cry tonight

And please remember that I never lied
And please remember
how I felt inside now honey
You gotta make it your own way
But you'll be alright now sugar
You'll feel better tomorrow
Come the morning light now baby

And don't you cry tonight
An don't you cry tonight
An don't you cry tonight
There's a heaven above you baby
And don't you cry
Don't you ever cry
Don't you cry tonight
Baby maybe someday
Don't you cry
Don't you ever cry
Don't you cry
Tonight


*tired* very tired..
Just reach home not long. Look at the time. If i know I also don't want to come home so early. -_-" Cause no one is at home.
Hmmm... Met Yong Xi[ahdaxi] at around 8pm. Then went to Cine to eat Pasta. The food there was ok. Then ate 2 pizza -_-" Gosh.. Each of us have our own dish and didn't know Yong Xi's friends order pizza to share. In the end got 2 pizza. Trying hard to finish the food.
Met 5 new friends today. Hahaz, all are actually Yong Xi's friends. Well, they really cool. Make me smile. Oh yeah =D Hahaz, enjoy hanging out with them. They rox~
Hmmm.. After food walk around then nua nua nua.. Went to Far East to play billard. I sat there. Cause I dont know how to play =X LOL~
Sat there talking to Haze. Then crapping around with her. I then realise that I'm the youngest there. -_-" All hit 2 in front. I still 1. Was waiting for billard table, in the end went to play CS. Oh man, what a nick. mofo_idiot_asshole something like that. Can't really remember.
Then before I left Orchard Haze said "consider about Yong Xi" -_________________-" Lame lame lame lame lame~ Alright, I'm tired =( Night people.
PS: YongXi, I really enjoy myself today. :D Thanks for letting me know your friends. They rox.



Hate those sucky feelings.. The feeling of jealousy, the feeling of anger, the feeling of sadness.
I was having my shower, my mum called. I didn't answer. I called her back when I finish my shower. She asked me if my brother had called or what. Then I told her no. She hang up. After I dried my hair, she called again. This time also about brother. She asked me to SMS him. Hate those feelings. Yah, I'm jealous. So what!?
Sometimes really question myself about why am I staying in this house with different treatment between my parents. *Sigh* Before my grandfather pass away, I might not have these type of feelings. Well, maybe I've grown up. As these feelings start to occur. Or perhaps I haven't even grow up. That's why having these type of childish feelings.
Really hate myself for borning into this family. If 17years ago, when my mum give birth to me, if she really sold me away to this doctor, I guess I won't be having this life now. She once told me that the doctor [whom incharge of my mum giving birth] wanted to adopted me. How I wish that she really accept the doctor request. Perhaps right now, I'm a rich girl whom doesn't even worried about money.
Sigh, talking about money.. My bill only $50 and my parents scold like hell. My sister bill was $70+ yet they didn't say anything. Well, perhaps as what they said, I've be a role model? What crap. Still money. *Sigh* Hate those unfair treatments. My sister spend money like nobody business, yet she can save up $$$ because she 24/7 stay at home. As for me? Going out spending my own money. Hate it. Even if I buy clothes for myself also my money.
ARgh.. What about my sisteR? The clothes that she want, my dad will be paying for her. Same parents, but different treatment.. I hate it.. Every single thing at home, I'm always the one doing it. Yet they didn't even apprecaite it. Instead they scold me like hell when I mess up my room. Did they ever scold my sister? They didn't.. They didn't.. I hate it. Why am I having these type of treatment when I don't think I deserve it? Just because I'm the biggest in the family right now? My sister? What about her?
She's already 14. 3 years back, I'm 14 if I didn't even wash the cups I will sure get the hell scolding from them. What about her? "Oh, ta hen lei, suan le ba.." That's what they said. They didn't even care! What she want they always tried their best to buy for her. Just because she do well in her exams?
Maybe yes.. Exams results can please them alot. I can't study, my fault again? Yes still my fault. I choose not to study when I was younger. Wasn't them the one to be blame? I know I shouldn't be pointing finger at one another. But isn't that unfair? I grow up with my grandparents[that's why my relationship with them are stronger then my parents] but what about her? She was put in Childcare centre rather then normal kindergarden school. When she reach Primary 1, she was put in those recommanded school. As for me? Normal neighbourhood school. Do I really deserve all these? Maybe I did..
When she's taking her PSLE, she was put to choose those top schools around Singapore. I told my dad that it will be far from our house. He shoot me back that no matter how far the school is, he will still send her to school. My dad.. That's my dad. As for me? The nearest school as possible. They didn't even care about my future.
I've being requesting to put braces since Sec1 but they told me that it was a form of wasting money. well, that's my parents. I didn't do anything about it until I reach Sec3. Just because my sister's school dental sent letter to our house that she also need braces. That's when they allow me to put...
Haiz, don't ever comment about anything. I don't want to listen. Let me be. Let me die. No one will care. No one will shed a single tear for me. Someone whom really not worth crying. That's me..

Learn a new thing from YingYan today. =D She taught me alot. She said all sad things don't post up will be better. People will remember all sad things rather then happy memories. *Sigh* She must have enjoy herself now. Finally it's weekend. And Ron is booking out. She's spending her whole weekend with her baobei, Ron.

Their loving picture. *envies* she sure say mine will be coming soon. Hahaz.. Something that I've done for her
Waiting like a fool right now for my brother to book out. But look at the time now. -_-" I doubt he will be booking out. Went to school at 9am. Was late for Physics paper. Having test but without teacher? Lame.. Then everyone was like copy like nobody business. Well, that's my class. The teacher came in, he said: "Don't copy wrong answer. Cause if copy still fail, it will only disgrace copycats." That's lame. Can't imaging a teacher telling us all these. Oh well, that's Greenview.
Didn't have the mood to blog last few days. Well, perhaps mood swing ba. Perhaps God is giving me a task hoping that I will complete. I guess that this task is wanting me to win this battle of losing him. I guess I really have towin it. Hmmm... My smile is no longer with me, but I will "find" back my smile to light up my life again. I don't want to be like this forever. It will bring me nothing but suffering.
Well, saw this at my bulletin board. Kinda nice. I like it.

For all you people who say, "I love you" when you have no clue what love is exactly!!! Something to ponder upon...

Are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing and is your voice caught within your chest??
It isn't love, it's LIKE

You can't keep your eyes or hands off of him?
It isn't love, it's LUST

Are you proud, and eager to show him off??
It isn't love, it's LUCK.

Do you want him because you know he's there??
It isn't love, it's LONELINESS

Are you with him because it's what everyone wants??
It isn't love, it's LOYALTY

Are you with him because he kissed you, or held your hand?
It isn't love, it's LOW CONFIDENCE

Do you stay for him confessions of love, because you don't want to hurt him?
It isn't love, it's PITY

Do you belong to him because the sight of him makes your heart skip a beat??
It isn't love, it's INFATUATION

Do you pardon him faults because you care about him?
It isn't love, it's FRIENDSHIP

Do you tell him every day he is the only one you think of?
It isn't love, it's a LIE

Are you willing to give up all of your favorite things for his sake?
It isn't love, it's CHARITY

Does your heart ache and break when he's sad?
Then it's LOVE

Do you cry for/his pain, even when he's strong?
Then it's LOVE

Do hhis eyes see your true heart, and touch your soul so deeply it hurts?
Then it's LOVE

Do you stay because a blinding, incomprehensible mix of pain and relation pulls you close and holds you to him?
Then it's LOVE

Do you accept his faults because it's a part of who he is?
Then it's LOVE

Are you attracted to others, but stay with him faithfully without regret??
Then it's LOVE

Would you give him your heart, your life, your death??
Then it's LOVE

Now, if love is painful, and tortures us so, why do we love? Why is it all we search for in life? This pain, this agony? Why is it all we long for? This torture, this powerful death of self? Why?
The answer is so simple cause it's...LOVE. It is such an addictive thing that even people who are not having it wish to experience it and share it with others as well.

Pass this to all your friends so they don't make the same mistake with their LOVE LIVES!! I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past...

Love hurts our feeling, but it's also the reason our soul heal..

But one day when you truly fall in love.. Remember to let the 'someone' know. To suffer a moment of embarassment is better than letting your happiness fly away forever..

Oh well, for me? Is that love? Or is it just a feeling of lonliness? Hmm...

*sigh* headache. terrible headache. -_-" i need to sleep le. don't know why so pain. i think because of the haze? *sigh* just ate 2 panadol extra. but it doesn't feel any better. still very pain. =( if he's by my side, na you duo hao. but too bad, he's not by my side. *bish* miss him alot still. a simple "take care" from him, will make me feel better.. SMS also can, tag also can, MSN also can. just hope that he will ask me to "take care"
i've no idea what am i doing right now. staring at the blank wall of my brother room. looking out of the window, see nothing in the sky except black black. -_-"
how can i be smiling like before? or maybe you don't love me anymore? say it isn't so tell me you're not leaving. say you change your mind now, that i'm only dreaming. this is not goodbye, this is not the over.. hmm.. if you wanna know, i won't let go, say it isn't so..
2 months le.. so fast, 2 months pass.. i haven't see him since 12th may 2004. missing him badly the sucky feelings, i hate it. really very torturing.. haiz.. i know i really have to give up, but why am I still holding on?
i dont want to say goodbye to you. love is one big illusion i should try to forget but there is something left in my head. you're the one who set it up, i'm now feeling lost right now. now you want me to forget, every little thing you said but there is something left in my head. i won't forget the way you're kisses the feeling so strong, were lasted for so long. But i'm not the man[woman] your heart is missing. that's why you go away i know.. tou were never satisfied no matter how i tried now you wanna say goodbye to me?
haiz, no matter how hard i try to forget, he still lingers around my head. no matter how hard i try to meant back this relationship, also fail..
its not the way i choose to live, and something, somewhere got to give. and sharing in this relationship gets older, older.. you know I'd fight for you but how could i fight somone who isn't even there. i've had the rest of you now i want the best of you i don't care if that's not fair. cause i want it all or nothing at all there's nowhere left to fall when you reach the bottom it's now or never. is it all or are we just friends Is this how it ends with a simple telephone call you leave me here with nothing at all
maybe what i've type are just craps. if you guys really spend time reading, my apology. tomorrow kor kor book out le. don't think will be able to online during this weekend. oh well, whatever. i also like that. haiz, never online will be better. but i've no idea what will i be doing..
cause i've lost loved ones in my life, who never knew how much i loved them. now i live with the regret that my true feelings for them[him] never were revealed. so i made a promise to myself, to say each day how much she[he] means to me, and avoid that circumstance where there's no second chance to tell her[him] how i feel. if tomorrow never comes, will she[he] know how much i loved her[him], did i try in every way to show her[him] every day, that she's[he's] my only one.. and if my time on earth were through and she[he] must face the world without me, is the love i gave her[him] in the past gonna be enough to last? if tomorrow never comes..
i've been practicing crying every night. forgive me hunnie.. i can't control my silly tears. i dont know why i keep sheding tears for someone known as "not worth crying" but i know that the tears maybe someday will flood myself up, and wake up from my dreams.. it will happen.. it will.. someday..

Tomorrow Might Be Too Late

If you're mad with someone , and nobody's there to fix the situation. You fix it.
Maybe today, that person still wants to be your friend.
And if u don't, tomorrow can be too late.

If you're in love with somebody , but that person doesn't know tell her/him.
Maybe today, that person is also in love with you .
And if you don't say it, tomorrow can be too late .

If you really want to kiss somebody kiss her/him.
Maybe that person wants a kiss from you, too.
And if you don't kiss her/him today, tomorrow can be too late .

If you still love a person that you think has forgetten you tell her/him.
Maybe that person have always loved you.
And if you don't tell her/him today, tomorrow can be too late.

If you need a hug of a friend ask her/him for it.
Maybe they need it more than you do.
And if you don't ask for it today, tomorrow can be too late.

If you really have friends who you appreciate tell them.
Maybe they appreciate you as well.
That if you don't and they leave or go far away today, tomorrow can be too late.

If you love your parents, and never had the chance to show them do it.
Maybe you have them there to show them how you feel.
That if you don't and they leave today, then tomorrow can be too late.


I cant believe it. Tomorrow is already friday. My brother is booking out. =D Miss him lots anyway.
As I've said yesterday, was at HMV. Then went to pierce my ear. *mad* he told me before, want to pierce, pierce somewhere where people can see. I went to pierce my ear again. Hmm.. This is the 7th one. But before that I have 2, but I've close it.

The one in red is new one. Gonna enlarge the first one to about 1cent size. But will do that the next coming holiday meaning September.
Oh well, I know I boliao, but hunnie also another boliao de.

Copy cat. -_-" Nah, I'm just tired. Don't know what to type. Changing my phone soon with my own money. No intention of telling my dad. I don't want to use GD88. Just having too much happy meomories. Although memories are for me to keep, but I've decided to throw them away.. *Sigh* hate those sucky feelings.

Oh well, was out with daddy[delun] today. Kinda surprise that he will meet me. *laugh* Meet him at Orchard. Was late because of John~ ARgh~ He lah, came out of school so slow. Make me wait like a fool at Pasir Ris interchange. BUDDY LaH!! Ask me choose to go where. I choose City Hall. He dont want. Then bo pian, call daddy out.
Then meet daddy at Orchard. I was late. =( Then I walk beside daddy, he don't even notice it! Stupid daddy, but daddy is a nice guy. He's single[that's what he claim] Hmm.. Went to Far East to eat. Guess what? Walk there just to eat Long John Silver. -_-" Never mind ma, daddy treat. *LOL* Don't want him to waste so much money also. Cause daddy NS guy. ORD soon. Happy for him.
Was at Long John Silver, chatted alot. Chat about the past, about him and my mummy[but they broke up le] then about my ex, Zhen.. About Marc.. Daddy told me alot about guys point of view. He said that I'm too rush, I didn't open myself for him, I didn't open my mind big enough to give him the trust about clubbing. Well, daddy is right. I'm too rush. Maybe was my fault for creating all this unnecessary things.
Haiz, walk to daddy to Hello shop. He replace his sim card, then chatted alot again. About my past again, Marc again. Well, a really nice lesson that I've learn from daddy. There are so much things that daddy taught me, I really appreicate it very much. But too bad, I don't have the chance to "present" what daddy had taught me.
Took NE line to Seng Kang to meet buddy. But he sucks. Let me wait for 1/2 hour. Sitted at Starbuck. Well, that building nothing to walk. -_-" I though got alot of things to walk. But in the end nothing. Buddy came, we went to walk at Pasa malam. But in the end can finish the whole thing in 1/2 hour time. Slack around at bus stop. His friend came, took bus to Pasir Ris.
Drop at DownTown East. Planning to eat, but in the end Burger King close. -_-" Then slack around at Cheers. Talk alot of craps. *Sigh* Lazy to update. Oh well, I'm tired.. Maybe I'm just not in the mood to blog ba. *miss him lots* ='(

Oh well, look at the time now. 0311. I'm still here. Doing my art. *Sigh* going school reopen le. How I wish I could stop the time. Think back, I really waste alot of time. Argh.. Doing nothing but changing blogskin. Maybe I shouldn't have done that.
Was cutting my paper cut just now. Accident happen =( Too much blood loss.. *Call 995* Sigh that's what I hate about doing this thing. Make my hand shaking when holding onto the work for long hours. Fingers will be numb~
So much thoughts were on my mind.. What I've done to save this relationship I already done. Ying Yan, I really done my best.. But I think that he don't really appreicate about what I've done. Right now, I think that he's more happy then before. He start giving cold shoulder. Oh well, I think I don't really deserve that. Since he said wanna be as friends but why am I getting all these things from him? Ask him out, he rejected. I even bother to talk to him in MSN, but he don't give a fucking damn on it.
He promise me to bother to message me in MSN, but now.. Things are so different from what he've promise. Do I deserve all these? I doubt so. But why am I getting all these things? *Sigh* I'm still thinking, if that day, 2 months ago, I didn't let go, will we be together? If I didn't do that type of silly mistake, I guess I won't be like this now. And if I didn't do that type of fucking mistake, I guess we will be celebrating our 4th month anniversary soon..
Going 2 months le.. I going to be single for 2 months le. Being through so much. *Sigh* Tears are on my eyes. My heart is in real pain. Can he feel the pain? I don't know. I want to see him for one last time. One last time.. And I will really learn to let go. I guess that's the only way out. If not, gonna be some silly fools out there waiting till my 18th birthday, when I'm totally a big girl..

Just reach home not long. *tired*
Actually today got 2 lessons. Both also Physics. But 2 different teacher. Went for the first one, then head home. Kinda tired and bored with it. Argh~ =X Reach home not long, hunnie message me. Chatted with her for like hours? Went down to buy ice-cream. Oh well, her crapping. I just enjoy listening to her craps. Cause, she rox =D And she told me about the story of Sleepy Girl & Sleep Boy.. *envies* I'm sure someday I will find mine. =] Waiting for the chance ba..
Hmmm.. Was at Serangoon just now. Just went there to eat BBQ stuffs. Oh well, the BBQ is sucks. Yucks. Not really very nice. I think Singa Festa one is better. =D Was on car, the switch on to English station. "Lost Without You" just finish. I was like. Oh man, I miss out again! The very next song they play was my favouritE~ Evanescence - My Immortal
Was on the way home. Driving pass near his house. Was like, abit more to he's house. Will I happen to see him? *Sigh* Whatever.. Anyway, after expressway somewhere near Pasir Ris St 12 there. Neh neh.. Road block. Lucky didn't drink if not die liao~ =X
Oh, here are the picture that I took just now when I'm bored.

And this is my hunnie YingYan

This is my new pal Jessie

Just mad. =D Forgive me. That's what a bored person can be doing.

I know that I cant get up this morning to go to school for class why am I still bothering to set alarm when I ain't really care? Why am I bothering to do all these things when I know the ending still the same? Setting alarm is just for the seck of setting it. But waking up anot is still another case.
Why am I must be the one giving up everything just because of him? Why can't I live just for the seck of myself? Why must I be the one clinging onto him knowing that the ending are still the same? Why must it be? I don't understand.
If stealing is a crime, why when he steal my heart he did not have to get his punishment? When I break something in a shop, I must buy the stuff, but why when he break my heart, he just leave it there without "paying" what he had broken? Why? I don't understand.
Most of my friends are in poly now, I'm still stuck in secondary school. I don't blame my parents for putting me in NA. Maybe I should blame myself for not studying hard since young. Maybe I'm the one who set my life this way. Maybe most of the faults and the life that I getting now is what I want before. If right from the start I've being study hard, right now I waiting for Poly to get started, and I won't be wearing uniform right now. Not only that, maybe I get to have a new life of my own.
If I don't start study now, then when will I be studying? When O's finish? This is the last shot, after O I guess I will work till I get my results. To get myself into Poly anot is still another case. If I didn't get into Poly, gonna be working till I die. I have no idea what path should I be taking. If really I didn't get into Poly, I won't be going to ITE. It's a no for me. I know I shouldn't have set all these things in my life without even bother to give a shot. I hate it. When people are really cherishing their own life and there I am trying my best to give up without trying.
A few more days to school reopen. Holiday assignment I didn't even start doing. Don't talk about assignment, I don't even bother to take them out of my bag. Dust are all over the assignments. That bastard said that when school reopen gonna have re-test again. For failing Mid year. Oh well, this is the first time I heard all these craps. Fail already fail, want to study anot is out problem, who is he to care about it? *Sigh* Whatever.
No one in the class bother about it. 6 subjects I fail 5. Only pass Chinese. Like that how to get myself into Poly? Oh well, O's chinese pass anot still another case. I think gonna be hard to get myself with B4? After 5 days of struggling, I guess my results will still be the same. I think it's even hard to get C6 why am I setting goals that seems so far away from me? Well, whatever..
Very long time didn't type so much craps. Well, I also have no idea what my life can be. Wake up, use net. Go school, come back, net again till night. Sleep. Wake up, use net. Go school, come back, net again till night... ... ... No life man. What can I say? Reading blogs all over and over again. No one crapping around. IRC I don't even want to connect. Just sign in MSN, surf around friendster. That's it. Well, whatever..
School reopen soon. I'm sure I gonna get shoot by my art teacher. I didn't even do anything at all. If I didn't chiong these few nights, I'm sure I will be in dead meat. And my wish list I did say that I want to complete before July. Wow, look at the date now. I didn't even bother to touch it. How can I be able to finish before July? Oh man, another empty words.. Well, whatever.. Whatever..

My eyes are so tired now. I guess I going to bed instead of doing my art. *Sigh* How can I forget that I having lessons tomorrow at 8am? I think I gonna skip again. What the hell? Just pray hard that Jason going tomorrow so that someone out there will help me to mark..
Some new songs to intro. Something that really describe my feelings. The pains that I gain. Argh~ Hate those feelings. =(

Brandy - Have You Ever

Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever
Have you ever been in love
Been in love so bad
You'd do anything to make them understand
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away
You'd give anything up to make them feel the same
Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart
But you don't know what to say
And you don't know where to start
Have you ever loved somebody so much
It's makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever
Have you ever found the one
You've dreamed of all your life
You'd do just about anything to look into their eyes
Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to
Only to find that one won't give their heart to you
Have you ever closed your eyes and
Dreamed that they were there
And all you can do is wait for that day when they will care
Have you ever loved somebody so much
It's makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever
What do I gotta do to get you in my arms baby
What do I gotta say to get to your heart
To make you understand how I need you next to me
Gotta get you in my world
'Cuz baby I can't sleep
Have you ever loved somebody so much
It's makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever





*Sigh* Another day. Heard from alot of people that TP already school reopen. Somemore chatted with Jimmy[From TP] that school already reopen. Then also don't know what to say. Too early le ba. I think..
My skin now then start peeling off. *Sigh* Then my back so itchy. ARgh, hate those sucky feelings. Then make me go peel the skin. Not pain, but I don't like it. My chair is so dirty just because of the dead skin. ARgh, planning to go again on Thursday, but look like gonna cancel it again. *Sigh* Having extra lesson at 1430 - 1630. Then for Thursday will be having TEST ON PHYSICS! Yucks, sure die one lor. Somemore I don't feel like touching any books.
Reach school chatted with some of my friends. Then realise most of them are attach. Wow, that's great for them. I guess still left with me. Single soul walking around looking for the real meaning of love.. I'm still holding on, to be frank. I guess Hunnie will be like very angry and sad when she's reading this. Hunnie, that's my life. You understand me the most, I can't let go. I really can't.
My eyes are very wet now, and I'm very tired. I wanna sleep. I wanna die. I want him back. Haiz, so what if he read this? He don't even care. Letting go of someone whom I really love is still the biggest fool on earth.

IF YOU LOVE SOMEONE,
SET HIM FREE..
IF HE COMES BACK, HE'S YOURS,
IF HE DOESN'T, HE NEVER WAS...
The New Versions... ... ... ... ... .

Pessimist:
If you love someone,
Set him free ... .
If he ever comes back, he's yours,
If he doesn't, as expected, he never was.

Shakespeare:
If you love someone,
Set him free ... .
If he ever comes back, he's yours,
If he doesn't, here's the poison, suicide yourself for him.

Optimist:
If you love someone,
Set him free ... .
Don't worry, he will come back.

Suspicious:
If you love someone,
Set him free ... .
If he ever comes back, ask him why.

Impatient:
If you love someone,
Set him free ... .
If he doesn't comes back within some time forget him.

Patient:
IF you love someone,
Set him free ... .
If he doesn't come back, continue to wait until he comes back

Playful:
If you love someone,
Set him free ... .
*If he comes back, and if you love him still,
set him free again,
repeat*

C Programmer:
If(you-love(m_him))
m_him.free()
if(m_he NULL)
m_he new CShe;

Animal-Rights Activist:
If you love someone,
Set him free,
In fact, all living creatures deserve to be free!!

Lawyers:
If you love someone,
Set him free,
Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the second amendment of the Matrimonial Freedom Act clearly states that... .

Bill Gates:
If you love someone,
Set him free,
If he comes back, I think we can charge him for re-installation fees but tell him that he's also going to get an upgrade.

Biologist:
If you love someone,
Set him free,
Hhe'll evolve.

Statisticians:
If you love someone,
Set him free,
If he loves you, the probability of him coming back is high
If he doesn't, the Weibull distribution and your relation was improbable anyway.

Schwarzenegger's fans:
If you love someone,
Set him free,
HE'LL BE BACK!

Salesman:
If you love someone,
Set him free ... .
If he ever comes back, deal!
If he doesn't, so what! "NEXT".

Insurance agent:
If you love someone,
Show him the plan ... .
If she ever comes back, sign him up,
If he doesn't, keep follow up with him and never give up!

Physician:
If you love someone,
set him free ... .
If he ever comes back, it's the law of gravity,
If he doesn't, either there's friction higher than the force or the angle of collision between two objects did not synchronize at the right angle.

Flirter:
If you love someone,
Set him free,
If he comes back.....
show him your new boyfren

Mathematician:
If you love someone,
Set him free ... .
If he ever comes back, 1 1 2 (peanut!),
If he doesn't, Y 2X - log(0.46Y^2 (cos (52/34X)) x 5Y^(-0.5)c) where ?c? is the infinite constant of no turning point.

Nowadays' style:
If You Love Someone,
Set it free,
If It Comes Back, It is Yours
If It Doesn't, Hunted Down and Kill It... !!! OR
PERHAPS REPORT TO IMMIGRATION THAT SHE/HE IS AN
ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT,,,,,,,

The real thing is:
If you love someone..
WHY IN THE FIRST PLACE SET HIM FREE CARELESS IDIOT!!!

*Sigh* I'm just the careless idiot..

My feelings..




-=][I Need A Miracle I Want To Be Your Girl Give Me A Chance To See That You Are Meant For Me I Need A Miracle Please Let Me Be Your Girl One Day You're See Can Happen To Me][=-
OK, I think I reach home around 0030. Kinda tired. *Sigh*
Anyway woke up at around 0840am, shower and head out. Not enough sleep that's why since morning my face is damn black! ARgh. Yesterday night was sleeping with my granny, then somemore it's so HOT!! I can't take it. I'm not use to that bed, that's why I can't sleep well. Somemore my granny keep waking up and talking to me.. Argh~ I don't really blame her, cause she's someone I loved. =]
Went to dad place till 3pm. Nua is what I've been doing. Finally 3pm come! Time for me to go out. Wei Wei called me out. *Sigh. Kana fly kite. Jessie said she's not going Sentosa with Elena. So I didn't meet them. Consider fly kite? LOL. The most idiotic thing is that I SMS Kel, then he said "How's the flight?Anger?sad?..." *Can't remember* LAME is what I can say! Then actually wanna meet him de, then he said he going to book in later. So I didn't meet him lor. Was heading home, then my sister ask me to go town with her, so we head towards town.
Actually called buddy out de. But he said he no money, so never mind lor. I went out with this asshole. She suck big time. =D
Nua nua nua.. Haiz, can say that my life totally a piece of SHIT.. Yeah I mean SHIT!! Whatever. *yawns* Hao lei.. Reach home actually at 8+ then my sister lah, boliao, go called my dad. ASk him go Fishermen. Then bo pian, go change again and head out. Nua there again till 0015. The songs that playing there are so nice. I really like it. They played my favourite.. Zhou Jie Lun - An Jing, Gui Ji, S.H.E. - Ta Hai Shi Bu Tong... ... So enjoy the songs. Those DAMN sad songs. Oh well..



Another slacking day. Just reach home not long. Being out since 12+ ba. Didn't talk to buddy like for 2 days. Sorry buddy, just feeling moody, that's why wanna be left alone. *Sigh*
Tomorrow Parents Meeting Day for YuMing[My brother]. Kinda miss him, but sad, I'm not going tomorrow. Have to look after the shop.
When my parents back tomorrow, will be going out with Jessie and Elena. I think they're plan still on. But I'm not going to Sentosa with them. Will be meeting them for dinner at Town I guess. Alright, whatever it is, just walk one step see one step.
Keep repeating these 2 songs. F.I.R. - Wo Men De Ai and Zhang Jing Xuan - Duan Dian. Thanks hunnie for sending me Zhang Jing Xuan's song. I love it very much. =] Although make my mood turn bad, but I still enjoy listening to that.
*Sigh* No idea why I'm missing him so badly.. Haiz.. I really envy bitch man. She's so much more lucky then me. I know can't be compare. Case by case. Haiz, she love he's ex alot. But her ex always called her to chat, even SMS. But it's like for my case.. *sigh*
Go to bed le. Miss him alot.. ='( *Sobs*
PS: Hunnie.. Sorry, I still miss him lots. =(

Was surfing friendster just now. Saw the testimonials that they wrote for Jin Jin. No idea why I start to feel the pain. Those pains that they feel. I don't really know her well. But can you imaging that with an accident, she's gone? The pains that they feel. It hurts. The last time I remember that I was with her was sitting at the study corner, she's helping me to flip the bible and next, she's gone.
She went through so much suffering. Hit by car, bleeding.. Next is her wake. Everyone sobbing when we reach the wake. No one can have any mood to joke or crap around. In music room practicing the songs that she enjoy listening. All Choir memebers were there trying their best to control their emotions to sing finish the song. She's wearing the chior gown before she made her way to Heaven, to God's arms.
I'm sure she's happy now. All her pains and strugglings already gone. There she is, sitting beside God, happy smiling. I won't blame the driver who killed her, [although was he's fault] cause everything are still up to fate. God loves her more then we do, she's gone for the good reason..

Leaving On A Jet Plane. The last song that we sang to her. Miss you lots Jin Jin.

All my bags are packed, i'm ready to go
I'm standing here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye

But the dawn is breaking, it's early morn'
The taxi's waiting, he's blowing his horn
Already i'm so lonesome i could die


So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
'cause i'm leaving on a jet plane
I don't know when i'll be back again
Oh babe, i hate to go

There's so many times i've let you down
So many times i've played around
But tell him that they don't mean a thing

Every place i go i think of you
Every song i sing i'll sing for you
When i come back, i'll wear your wedding ring


Now the time has come to leave you
One more time, oh let me kiss you
And close your eyes and i'll be on my way

Dream about the days to come
When i won't have to leave alone
By the times that i won't have to say

Slacking around the whole day. Packing my room, but still messy. =X Now on my brother bed typing all this craps.

Hahaz, happy smiling. Can see my :B =X But nice ma. Yan Yan say make us unique =X loL~ Whatever. Kinda good mood now, cause I've being crapping around with my xiao shuai shuai. As promise!

He look sucks in this picture. Cause he didn't smile!! Ok, he said after O's gonna go Sentosa together. Meanwhile he gonna jian feI!! haHA..
My darling~

Our love always strong since erm.. 15? WHaHAha.. No lah, he's just my best friend that I always call him dar~ =X maddie him~

How's my new blog skin? Hahaz, I think I love it very much! =D I've edited some parts. Espeically the pictures below. Actually was 2 pictures about a boy & girl kissing. But hor, I single, so I've put my friends pictures there! =D Hmmm... My sister is back in Singapore. Can you imaging I miss this BITCH so much~ awW... Ok whatever.. Update again if anything BIG enough happen =P

My eyes are so tired. *yawns* so heavy right now. Lying on my brother bed with the laptop on the bed. Aww.. Anytime sure fall asleep de =x
Woke up at 0700 by buddy. Actually he ask me to wake up. Then went for a warm shower. And head out. Went to Tan Tock Seng first to do some things. Around 0845 reach Bedok, then went for breakfast. Reach home around 1000? Then still listening to F.I.R - Wo Men De Ai. Aww.. So nice the song. I want to send him but yesterday before I log out, i message him ask him if he's gaming, he said yah, so I didnt send him and went to bed. Before I went to bed, I SMSed William saying "fren u sucks do u know?" then we only like SMS around 4-5. At this time I know that I've lost another good friend. Haiz, whatever. Actually I still think that it's not my fault.
That time meet me go Orchard, then in the end he went to meet XiaoHui[His GF] then he pang me alot of times. My fault, I didnt tell him I want to leave that place. Then I just walk out of K Pool that time. Haiz, then after that, didn't SMS for days. Before O level paper, he SMSed me. But I didn't reply. On 31st May 2004, he SMSed me again asking me how was the paper. But I didn't reply again. Kinda angry and piss off with him. Treating me like that.
He's a really good friend. Didn't know I will loss this friend. *Sigh* Whatever ba. Its like a relationship. If one party want to give up, no matter how the other party want he/she back, he/she will never come back. Am I right? Kinda bad mood now. Uh huh.. Maybe still thinking about what he said. That last SMS from him[William]. Very hurtful lor.
He said going to Ubin to cycle last week. But in the end never. I remember that I jio him to Sentosa to play. He said ok. But in the end he went with XiaoHui. Ok, fine with me. That one he's GF. But what about the promise that he made? He said that I break the promise that I've made. Cause I hang up he's call that day. I think because of that he hate me or whatever shit. Haiz.. Whatever..

Blog song change to: Ronan Keating feat. LeAnn Rimes - Last Thing On My Mind

Just reach home not long. Kinda tired. Eyes are so heavy now. Waiting for 12am for soccer match =X I want to wake my dad up. Not I want to watch ok?
Sigh. Feeling so... No idea why. Want cry can't cry that type of feelings. Listening to F.I.R - Wo Men De Ai don't know how many times le.. The words so touching..
*Sigh* waking up early tomorrow to go down to Bedok temple to pai my grandpa. Sunday fathers' day. Gonna have a different way of celebrating this year. Instead of everyone going down to grandparents place, but this year on wards will not be celebrating. Its 8 months since he left me. The impact still with me..
Time pass so fast. I'm going 18 in 7 more months. Going single for 2 months, then Jin Jin pass away like going a year le.. Suddenly I feel so.. Haiz, whatever..

Four o'clock in the morning
My mind's filled with a thousand thoughts of you
How you left me without a warning
But looking back I'm sure you tried to talk it through

Now I say it so clearly
We have been together but living separate lives

So, I wanna tell you I'm sorry
Baby, I can't find the words
But, if I could
Than you know I would, yeahhhhhh

No, I won't let go
No why we can be
I will watch my life crashing down on me
As I had it all right there before my eyes, yeahhhh
Girl I'm sorry now you were the last thing on my mind
You carried me like a river
How far we have come still surprises me

Now, I look in the mirror (look in the mirror)
Staring back is a man I used to be with you
How I longed for you

No, I won't let go
No why we can be
I will watch my life crashing down on me
As I had it all right there before my eyes, yeahhhh
Girl I'm sorry now you were the last thing on my mind

Girl I'm sorry I was wrong
Couldn't be there, should have been so strong
So, I'm sorry

Ohhhhhhh
No, I won't let go
No why we can be
I will watch my life crashing down on me
As I had it all right there before my eyes, yeahhhh
Girl I'm sorry now you were the last thing on my mind (on my mind)

I will watch my life crashing down on me
As I had it all right there before my eyes, yeahhhh
Girl I'm sorry now you were the last thing on my mind
On my mind (on my mind)



Woke up this morning around 0725 by Dong Jie ringtone. Actually was alarm. I off it, and zzz again. 5mins later, buddy called. He woke me up again. He talked, I orh orh orh. Then I hack, contiune sleeping. But I woke up SMS Jason, asking him to help me sign. But he no reply. So no idea if he will be marking, then I SMSed bitch the same thing, but she also no repond. Around 0830, she SMSed me telling me that she just woke up. So I doubt anyone will be signing for me.
Really woke up at 10am. The moment I sign in MSN, I know I'm in dead shit. Ying Yan message me. Scold me again. Over what I've post yesterday.. =| I know my fault, that I really deserve scolding from her. Maybe she can really wake me up. Then chatted with her from cars all the way to Sentosa.. She said that Ron not booking out this weekend so meet her to go Sentosa, but she's working. -_-"
Went out for a walk till evening time. Wanna go Sentosa this saturday. SMSed Jessie, she said that she's working on that day too. So I didn't asked her to ask Elena about it. Then what about tomorrow? She said she's going to eat pizza hut. What the hell? So never mind lor. Postpone it or what.
Asked my mum about my past. She said that I'm only lazy.. The rest still ok. I said what about my stupid temper? She told me that my temper now is better then last time when I was younger. I'm great that I've change and be more sensible. I'm great that I've changes in my life..
Bored day. Reach home around 6plus. Doing nothing but still searching for skin. Found nothing I like. But I've found this nice picture. I really like.


Same same? LOL
Going out for dinner soon. Kinda bored with my life. Singapore is so small, no where to go. HELL!!!

My back view. So nice. =D I like it very much!!
Oh yah, F.I.R - Wo Men De Ai is very nice. I finding the lyrics, upload once I found it. =)

Can say that I'm slacking around the whole day. Went for jogging today. Aww.. I can't run anymore :( Run abit tired like hell.. So didn't jog for long hour. Reach home around 6pm, online look for new blogskin. But see no one that I like. I still prefer this.. The skins that I've seen are like for attach one. But I'm single here. So don't think will be that nice to put?
Just went out for dinner at Singa Festa. Kinda quiet there.. Walk around Pasir Ris Park, and head home. Kinda tired now. Still have school tomorrow =( Bored. Don't feel like going anyway.
Anyway, William just called me. But I hang up. Once I heard he's voice I hang up the call. I don't know why. Maybe just freak off with him. I've been looking for him for don't know how long. Called him he don't want answer, SMSed him don't want reply. I though he "died" again or might be plaing hide and seck. Whatever.
Playing around with my color pens. Here are what I wrote. =X Kill me if you want.


YuMing just called. Hell!! He sick le.. =( He injured himself there. Then he got flu. Aww.. See my mum eyes, like want to cry le. I also can't control myself. =| Nearly cried out. Then ahdaxi just SMSed me too. He also injured himself. =( Haiz.. Buddy not in good mood, no one crapping with me today. Go bed le ba.. ='( Wan an people..

*yawns* just wake up not long. I'm here to update. My aunt just SMS me to ask me go shopping with her. Boring. Still thinking wanna go down anot leh. Kinda pain at the back. Not kinda, I think is very pain.
Oh yeah, these are the pictures that I took last Sunday. =D Haven't scan ma. Lazy!! =X

I love the right one!! =X My face so biG =X





Specs SpecS!! :D






Kinda tired.. Actually not kinda, is very tired. Reach home around 10pm. Already half dead.
Ok, yesterday slept at around 0205. Cause I was talking to Victoria over the phone. After that went to bed.. Then woke up at 0730 to go to school.. Blah blah blah school ends at 1000am. Head home, have a shower and out I go!! =D
Reach Sentosa abut 1200noon. Then we start crapping around at the Siloso beach. Hahaz, then sun tanning for very long time. Kinda red now.. I think is damn red. -_-" Too bad, the phone cant see the different. My friend said that my back really damn red. =| Ouch. So painful =(
Slack around, playing with water. Hahaz, she damn ass sia. Ask her carry me, she did carry me then in the end throw me at the water. -_-" The water is DAMN SALTY!! And when she throw, I dont even know that she's throwing me. And the water go into my nose.. AWw.. Hate that sucky feelings =( Nearly fall asleep when I was tanning. I'm so tired!!
Leave there around 4plus. Was Q-ing at the toilet. Damn, so long..
Leave Sentosa liao head out.. Meeting my buddy :p Then went to Far East just to take dinner.. HahaZ~ After that head to Pasir Ris park. Yah, both of us sit there talk cock till 9plus ba.. Then I very tired, then went home le lor. My back is killing me. I think I gonna die soon.. Anyway, here is the pictures.　sentosa

Ｉ　ｋｎｏｗ　ｉ　ｄｏｎｔ　ｈａｖｅ　ａ　ｓｔｒｉｇｈｔ　ｔｅｅｔｈ．　Ｈａｈａｈ，　ｄｏｎｔ　ｅｖｅｒ　ｃｏｍｍｅｎｔ　ｅｈ？

Ok, just reach home not long. Kinda tired now. Eyes are so heavy. After I crap finish I gonna go to bed. And going to school tomorrow at 8am @_@" After that will be rushing home to change and SENTOSA HERE I COME!! =D I've deceided to tan until black black.. Woo lala~ Right now haven't even pack my stuffs.. Hmmm.. After I crap finish then go pack then go bed le ba.. =|
Then this afternoon doing nothing but some "surprise" for my hunnie.. HahaZ, was showing her my art work, then she said nice. I've decided to do one for her. Here it is. Ugly please forgive. =(

Then these few are acting BOY!! =D



Act cutE?

Then this one is waiting for my daddy to fetch me de..

My sucky art..


Got to go noW!! Time for bed =D Pack my stuffs first.. *yawns* SO pek chek!! My mum lah. Keep taking my phone and call out. Not only that, keep asking me to send SMS.. Fuck fuck fuck~~~

I feel so wei da today. I really let go. =) I'm a big big girl now. Really. :)
She, Kelly, facing broke up problem. Just like what I use to be. Clinging onto him =| But I talk to her.. I feel so wei da~ awWWwwwwwwwwWWW
This is what I've said at Chillicrap forums..
Kelly,
Sometimes things are meant to be let go. Now you're facing this type of problem. Right from the start no one predict that this thing will happen. No onw know that you will be facing this type of endings.
Yes everyone of us know that it hurts. But you think, if it never hurt, will you feel the pain? Without the pain will you learn a new lesson in your love life?
No one will blame you for all your crying. No one need your apology. It's your own world. You're living in your own world. You can cry all you want.
He's no longer at your side. You have to learn from all your mistakes. Time to let go. If both of you are meant to be, 10 years down the road, fate will still be there. Believe in yourself, believe in God above us. He's blessing us. Making us learn new lessons so that next time we will cherish more.
No one on earth is a perfect person. Everyone sure have their bad and good points. Is how they accept the way they are. So what if you're the most inperfect person on earth? We still accept you as our friends. We care for you as our friends.
Well, everything need time to heal. Make your time all occupied. Even no time to go online to come CC to post. Make yourself real busy. Sometimes letting go will be a good thing, but he shall be inside your heart forever.
Then this is what I've said in MSN
Did you talk to him? You guys break only 1 month. Then me and him 1 month plus. I tired to talk to him dont know how many countless time. I gave away all my prides, all my princess attitude just to get him back. I change the way he want me to be, but he didnt even appreciate it. He didnt even bother about me. What's the point of changing when he didn't even appreciate? We talk last few days in MSN, he told me all that. I still accept it. Just because we cant communicate this relationship is gone. Isn't that too much? He didnt even give me another chance. Cry? Oh yah, I did.. Cry non stop.. hei she you mo console me like nobody bussiness.. Everyone called me..He know I cry, but he care? No. What's the point of sheding tears when he dont appreciate? Kelly, look.. So many people out there care for you. Want you to be happy.. I'm sure you also want him to be happy right? Give in.. Let him go.. Let him has the biggest happiness on earth.. If he dont want to come back, there's nothing can change he's mind. If you guys are meant to be, he will sure come back. If you guys are never meant to be, no matter what you did, he will still never come back.. If what I've said doesnt go into your head, there's no one out there can help you except you, yourself. Think about it..
And guess what she said.. Aww... "ya i know i ll try ok ger?" =D Finally sia. So many people out there try to talk to her. And wired, she add me in MSN, then talk to me. Then I give her all these shit stuffs.. Whatever -_-" Update again.

An oldies to share.. So nice wor..

I read a note my grandma wrote back in nineteen twenty-three.
Grandpa kept it in his coat, and he showed it once to me. he said,
"boy, you might not understand, but a long, long time ago,
Grandma's daddy didn't like me none, but i loved your grandma so."

We had this crazy plan to meet and run away together.
Get married in the first town we came to, and live forever.
But nailed to the tree where we were supposed to meet, instead
Of her, i found this letter, and this is what it said:

If you get there before i do, don't give up on me.
I'll meet you when my chores are through;
I don't know how long i'll be.
But i'm not gonna let you down, darling wait and see.
And between now and then, till i see you again,
I'll be loving you. love, me.

I read those words just hours before my grandma passed away,
In the doorway of a church where me and grandpa stopped to pray.
I know i'd never seen him cry in all my fifteen years;
But as he said these words to her, his eyes filled up with tears.

If you get there before i do, don't give up on me.
I'll meet you when my chores are through;
I don't know how long i'll be.
But i'm not gonna let you down, darling wait and see.
And between now and then, till i see you again,
I'll be loving you. love, me.
Between now and then, till i see you again,
I'll be loving you. love, me.

Okie, wake up at 0930. Check my phone. 4 SMS. Wired. At this hour who will SMS me. 2 good morning SMS, and the other 2 were from my classmates. They said English class today is cancel. Damn. After I read, buddy call to wake me up. I told him. He ask me to go back to sleep. -_-" What the hell.. I hate it. I sleeping wake up just to go to school. But in the end cancel.. *kill Greenview* lol~ Then I went back to slepp. 0945, Aaron called to wake me up. -_-" Ask me to go to school again. But I told him. He ask me to get back to sleep. *Faint*
Ok, doing nothing right now. Slacking around. Going to do my art now. Yes I mean NOW!! Won't be here to do some crappings.
Sentosa tomorrow =D

Ok, what a very tiring day. I'm half dead! Was at town the whole day.. AWw.. Maybe 1/2 day not whole day.
Went to Far East just to take lunch. Stupid bitch giving me this type of suggestion. The food sucks. Not really nice. But she said nice? Whatever.. Walk around.. Laming around. She see her stuffs, I just accompany her. Didn't saw anything that suits my eyes. =|
She's the boss of the day. Hahaz, was at Wisma TopShop. She said that the guy so charming. She nearly fainted. Hahaz, ok, not bad taste anyway. I totally agree with her. Then nua nua awhile.. She bought one top. I like. Cause it's in black? Hahaz..
Was on our way to Cine to take pictures. Then saw Asri!! =D Gosh, he still the same. Cute cute type.. He said he performing later at HMV the Stree Performing don't know what shit. So we promise that we will go there just to support him!
Was at Cine taking pictures. But she took all the pictures home cause I left it with her! *bish* Damn cute. I love it.. Hahaz, another 30shots again. But with addition 6 shots. Cause we took twice.
Went to see the street performance. Gosh *thumbs up* damn nice.. The people there also very sporting. Dancing. Hahaz, I join alonG? LOL~ Although hip-hop I don't really like, but now, I'm totally devoted to hip-hop!! =D Was there around 6+ till the very last show, 8pm. After that we head to HMV.
Went to see Roxy stuffs.. I saw the bikini.. Damn nice leh.. White color.. *drool* Price also damn nice. $87 @_@" Then saw the black one. Also nice. I also like. But that one more NICE $135. Can kill me man.. Was about to leave the place, then the song they playing was my blog sonG! Simple Plan - Addicited. I'm mad. Singing there! She asked me to shut up -_-"
Head back to Tampines after that. Hmmm... Was there nua-ing for 1hr? Then head home.. On bus, saw my seniors. Lucky sia. If not will be a boring journy home. aww..
Anyway these is the pictures that I took before I went out.
GHOST AR!! Haven't even comb my hair.
These are the street performance pictures.

My friends are in grey!! :D
A nice thing to share..

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watch me waste my life away

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