{/profile --

ramblings of a young adult

Lost my precious GD88. Fuck the asshole who steal it. How stupid am I to left it on the table. Fuck. After less then 5mins, the phone is lost. I swear I will screw that ass up if I know who the hell the peson is. Currently there's no way to contact me.


Woke up this morning at around 4am.Came online, didn't know he's already sleeping. Feel like a fool waking up just hoping to chat with him.. Chatted with Hui Hui mummy scolding me stupid. Yah I'm stupid.. Really stupid..
Went to TP just now. The lectures are SO BORING!! *argh* now I know why so many people love to skip lectures. Nearly doze off during the time when they speak.
Anyway, photos taken during in class and on the way to TP. I took pictures is because this is the last year of schooL!! *run around* I can't imaging myself in Poly.. *lol*
Taken in class..


In bus.. On the way to TP..





Me & Gary




Group group~ *stupid Kelvin keep pushing my head*





Kelvin trying to be lame..



Taken at TP with HP. I'm just bored!

*tagboard* I can't imaging so long didn't reply tag message.
No One You Know: Thanks alot.. =]
Michael99: Haha, anger already gone le.. So everything is back to normal. But at times, she just piss me off..
Addiction aka MK: Haha, I haven't even link up! :x
Potatohead: Thanks.. I know that time will heal everything one. I mean time will prove also eh? Thanks for giving me some courages..
josella: Hey, of course I remember you my friend.. ^^v I know the past is already past. Well, time will heal everything yeah?
pala & passerby: Thanks..
han quan: 4 minutes is ALOT!! *argh* I hate waiting.. The person comfirm not you ok? *LOL* Anyone everyone can call.. ^^v
jerLynN: Thanks.. I'm doing great. Just that the prelims results just sucks yeah? My skin color is nice? Thanks wor! But abit "overcook" Haha..


Met up with HQ this afternoon. Thanks leh. Thanks for being late. *argh* Reach Bedok at around 1515. Then wait wait wait, called William chat over the phone, took 17 head towards temple..Bought my grandpa's favourite. KFC. Waited for him to "finish" the food, then I unpack everything and head towards East Point. Walk around less then 1/2 hour then head towards TM for dinner.. Have our dinner at Pasta. Then head back to school.. The bus is full, hate it.. *argh* No mood update lah.. =l Whatever whatever whatever!!Reach school, Gary sucks.. *boo* Do art till around 2030, then went to netball court see moon with him. Cause today mooncake festi ma.. But I hate today date alot.. Its my beloved grandpa's chinese birthday.. But he already left us last year. That's why we don't celebrate.Anyway, tomorrow be going to TP after school. So mostly will reach there around 3pm. Till 6pm. *BORED* BORED *BORED* Don't expect to see anyone.Yah, I'm tired, time for bed.. Happy MoonCake festi/ happy lanterns festi.. Whatever.


PS: If you need someone to talk to, my number is 24/7 for you. Just for you.. =] I don't care what will you be talking about, I just want to make you feel better when someone is by your side listening to every single thing.. I don't love you, cause I've much more better things to do..

Happy birthday grandpa..
Gonna leave home now, going over to where grandpa is resting.. Hopefully tears wont roll down my face.. *sigh*


Just reach home not long. Tired? Yeah, of course tired.. Feeling very tired..
Went to meet XinDai after I step into my house. Can you imaging that I reach home, step one step only, she called. Then gonna go out again. Went down to TM to meet her.
She thought I will be late, but I reach there on time. We went to Long John Silver for our dinner first, then we shop around there. Walk walk.. Nothing much happen. Just that Nelson called me while both of us still in Fila shop. I got shock when I receive his call. Then he SMS me, we planned to give XinDai a surprise.
Walk around from top level down to first level. Then went to Giordano, XinDai bought a new top. That guy who serve us spoke to us in English and XinDai replied in Chinese. *naughty ebel* I told Xindai that Chineses doesn't mean can speak Chinese. Then that guy replied "I'm a Japanese" Xindai just walked away, I pulled her. "Xindai, hao leng wor.." Then both of us laugh non-stop.
Walk around, XinDai still in the dark. Nelson work from 8-5 but XinDai have no idea about it. Then from TM to CS.. Top to first level again.. *argh* Then Nelson came, Xindai got shock. Haha, then she stare at me. I was like "har? what's going on?"
Glad that she didn't angry at me, in fact she's surprise with it.. Hmmm.. Hate these type of things happen, just make me feel so left out. Feeling so.. *sigh* no idea how to describe. Maybe should get myself involve in something.. *argh*
Those missing-him feelings keep having in myself. I hate it.. No one can understand how it feel.. He's so near.. But yet so far.. He never left my heart before, but he left me in reality.. Anyone understand the feelings? Ain't feeling good.. I want to feel better.. I try my best to do things that cheer me up, but somehow, those feelings.. are so fake.. These few days ain't myself. The smiles are fake, the feelings so pains.. Haiz..
Try this from here.. http://noracom.net/eng/fortune/color_cheki1.php Tell me if its true yeah?

You are Red Monkey whose simple and natural personality is easily understood by those around you.
You can make others feel safe.
You will take on any favor asked, and have a strong volunteer spirits.
Even if you get angry, you don't hold that against people for long time.
You are simple forthright person.
You are a person with sensitivity. [True]
If you use this sensitivity at work and in hobbies, you will achieve great results.
You should learn a lot while young, and use that experience to help the society in the future.
You also possess great talent in carrying out matters and handling it efficiently.
You are a very active person. [True]
You are smart and calculating. [True]
You can be rather short tempered, and will not tell your true feelings. [True]
This may make you bit lonely, so don't forget to have a broad mind. [True]
You are a quick learner, so you will be favored by your boss. [True]
But if there isn't a person who can set an example, you can not carry out work efficiently. [True]
You may be suited to stay as number two than to stand at the top.
You are independent and keeps your own pace. [True]
So it may be better to keep away from the impossible. [True]
Because you are a popular person, you will be asked out by many people. [FALSE]
Try and turn down offers nicely, or you may disturb the living pace and your own personal relationships.
Your marriage fortune is very good. [*lol*]
You will do great as a housewife and also as the person committed to do good for the society.


Just reach home from DownTown East. Eh eh! Not going to Wild Wild Wet yeah? Went over to meet Remy.. The guy from Wild Wild Wet. He make me feel like going to Wild Wild Wet. *argh*
Anyway, got back most of my prelims results. As expected, didn't do well. *thumb down* Didn't know I've done "so well" although I gave in 70% shot to it!! *argh* O's ar!! Can't slack!! One more month to O's!! Go go go!! GUYS STUDY HARD!!
Anyway, gonna go now, XinDai waiting for me.. Hahaz~ Miss my darling Xindai so much! =X


*ARGH* feeling so FUCK UP now!! CB got this type of ass sister can die!! Fuck!!
First is wild wild wet thing. Went with her yesterday I can KILL MYSELF! I swear! This is the last time I gonna bring her out! She keep pester me to bring her go. Hello!? Don't have your friends to go with you? Loner! Sucks! SHUT UP!
Bring her there, ask her to hold tight while having ride, FUCK!!! She didnt hold tight, ended up hurting herself come and KPKB at me. FUCK! Like my problem like that? The floor is rough, will ended up hurting yourself. She go and play at the water and she play with float making herself fall down she come KPKB at me. Bleed like my problem!!!
Next, she push me, I fall, ended up I'm the one with who bleed, she care? Yes she fuck CARE! This type of sister also have? Yesterday was raining, told her to go to shade first, she come give me a fucking ass face. Like so fuck up like that!? Hello? What's the problem with you? You want to get sick I dont want alright? So just SHUT UP! Smack me in public? Nice to see? Fuck, I whack her back giving me those CB look! Like I'm the one started it first!
Told her to leave, she said ok. After one ride come KPKB at me. Fuck! I'm not your ass slave alright? Giving me one fucking ass face. Like I owe her $1000000000000000 like that. HELLO!? YOU'RE THE ONE WHO OWE ME MONEY ALRIGHT!?
Fuck, I already damn broke! She still ask me to go wild wild wet with her. Alright I go, fuck and ended up I'm the one paying for all the fucking bull shit things. The money I left is for my prom night. CB ended up I'm the one spending the money.
She's rich she's fucking ass stingy! Got money for bags, clothes whatever shit. Don't want to spend money when necessary. CCB! My pocket money is already so DAMN LOW yet I must pay for her dinner. This type of sister where to get? FUCK MAN!
Went for shower after wild wild wet. Giving me one fucking ass face. Like I owe her alot of money. There's empty toilet ask her go in. Giving me "HAR WHY!"face. Ccb. Everyone rushing for toilet and giving me one cb face? What's next? She put my phone and my wallet behind her. She care about it? FUCK MAN! Only care about her own phone! Hello!? X430 is so damn bloody CHEAP! My GD88 wins you alright?
Mum is NOT rushing us, and she keep shouting and yelling at me in public. Called her so many times dont want to turn back. CCB! NEXT TIME WANT TO GIVE ME FUCKING UGLY FACE, THEN DON'T GO WITH ME! Asking me to bring you to Sentosa? NO WAY! WAIT TILL THE NEXT MILLION YEARS OK!?
Reach home WHY MUST I BE THE ONE UNPACKING EVERYTHING!? Went there also I'm the one who pack the stuffs, and place it nicely. And HELLO!? Why must I wash for you? Reach home only went head to room and watch TV? Can't you just open the fucking windows and unpack the stuffs!? FUCK MAN! And now, because of her I have to wash 2 sets of clotherings! And that's not the end!! ARgh!! My bikini got dye because of her!! FUCK LAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Hate the feeling that I'm having right now.. Feel like smacking myself real hard. Really have no idea why I get so happy when he call or SMS me. And those feelings.. Argh.. Just make me feel so mess up again. Yes again! I stand up on my own, now he pushes me again to make me fall.
I just hate the On and Off from him! Argh.. Just bug off! And stop giving me those uncertain feelings. If you just treat me as a friend, a "hi-bye" friend tells me. Don't hide behind the bushes..! I will control myself from falling more and deeper for you!
If you're treating me good because you feel bad about last time, tell me! I don't want you to repay me back anything. All these things that happen in the past, no one is wrong or right. Just SHUT UP!
If you still love me[which is confirm no] tell me! I will never walk away from you life again!
I know I might be saying things that doesn't sound nice. But who am I to you? You moody just give me those SICK AND TIRED reply. Hello? I don't owe you anything.. When you're in good mood you're chatting so nicely with me.
What's the problem with you? I need an answer from you. I know there's someone in your heart, just tell me, who am I to you!? A friend that will kill your boredness when you're bored? Tell me, I will help you to kill the bored.
Treat me as a good friend? Ha.. Its not funny boy. No longer a joke. Don't make my life mess up once again. I hate it SO MUCH! *argh*


Update about these 2 days.
Well yesterday was mybrother's POP as well as a date I hate alot. Anyway, reach my brother's camp at around 1750. Waited and waited.. Finally start.. Yeah. I'm very proud of my brother. From a littly boy to someone who can protect the country. *thumbs up*
They perform, we see.. *raining* boo~!! But the rain stops in around 10mins time. cooL~ Yeah, so err.. photo taking. He sucks man. He said can't smile. Then he crack a smile. But at least he smile. Yah I think this is the one and only picture that I can remember taking with him. *lol*


Today woke up at around 9am. Cause yesterday slept at around 11pm. Very tired cause of the wild wild wet thing on thursday. Yap, I went again today. *lol* Reach wild wild wet at around 1015. But its so fUll! Pack!! Argh.. Hate it. Whereby whatever thing you wanna do, have to queue up! And the its so LONG!!
Anyway, when I just reach the door, there's one guy who said "hey ebeL" I was like *stun* Ok, he's the one who serve me the other day. Which is Thursday for the wet pass. He's cute. That's what I can say.. Lazy too. Cause I can see that. *lol* He don't bother to pick up the phone.
Yah, so went in, change and went for ride.. Then again, there's another guy approach. "Hey" Then I was like "har?" Then talk, talk, talk.. Free float again. *LOL* Then he asked if wanna go with him next time. I've no idea why I say no problem. *lOL* Too bad he's a Malay. Haha, he's cute. ^^v The people who work there are cool~ Yeah, maybe after O's work there?
Then alot of people who works there said that I've nothing better to do always go there and play. And ask me if I'm bored anot. -______________-" I was like har? Very bored, but what to do? So near. I don't know why if I've a choice I will rather go to Wild Wild Wet then Sentosa. Not because of the pass, but because of the things you do there. I mean Sentosa you only see hunks and babes, but in Wild Wild Wet you'll see cute guys, cool ladies with attitude and stuffs.. Then the people there are more friendly. And you get a higher chance of making new friends. *sound flirtish* haha, who cares? Single.. ^^v
I think that's it. Pretty tired.. *yawns*


Hate today's date so much..
Woke up at 0720 by my dad.. Argh.. Hate it man. Went down to Tanjong Paga. DBS building. Waited for kinda long time. An hour plus. And head to Bugis. SHop? Nope. Went to Si Ma Lu for praying. And walk around Fu Lu Shou and Sim Lim. Didn't buy anything.
Went back to Pasir Ris. I thought I can go home and sleep, but I can't!! Head to White Sands for lunch. But I didn't eat anything. Just don't have the mood ba.. Reach home, quickly take a nap.. Woke up by dad again!! ASk me vacumm floor. Why cant he just do it himself? *argh*
These past 5 months, learn alot of things. Loving someone alot isn't everything. As long as the other person that you love is happy the way he/she is that's the most happy things. I don't care if he's attach anot, he's happy I'm happy enough. Loving someone can love he/she in a different way. Just like the way I am now..
I joke around, I flirt around I do every little thing myself. I go for shopping with my GFs with friends. Although at times feel so empty, but they can make me smile. I do anything at my own will, no one wants me to change to the way he wants me to be(which I hate alot!) Nothing bother me, I feel so carefree. Is just that sometimes when all your friends went out with their GFs/BFs, there's no one who can accompany you.
Just like yesterday. Went out with Chee Siang & Haze to Wild Wild Wet, I feel so extra. But they don't mind I tagging along. I try to give them the time of having them together, but somehow they don't want to leave me out. They hug infront of me, I just feel so.. *no idea how to say* I just hope he will give me a hug. A very warm hug.. *sigh* Be happy Ebel, you walk though alot.. Ups and Downs.. Pains and stuffs all by yourself.. You will make it.. :) Live life to the fullest.. Treasure the presents, forget the past..
Well, I've learnt alot. Some things which never meant to be will never be. Even if you force and stuffs, either of us will be happy. Let natural take it courses. I will not talk about emotions or what again. I just want him to be happy..


Have a great time at Wild Wild Wet. Reach DownTown East just nice at 1230. Wait wait and wait. -_-" Finally the reach at around 1245. Only Haze and Chee Siang. Went to Food Court for lunch. I didn't eat. Kinda bored, took a picture while they buying their food.
After that, they went to purchase the ticket, and I apply the Wet Pass. *run around* I finally get it down! $63!! Wah, expensive leh.. =( After that, we went in.. Change, got 2 lockers. Haze bag is so big that it can occupied 1 locker. -____-" So me and Chee Siang shared. We actually realise that Haze forget to oil her hair, and I forget to remove my specs! And and we forget about sun block and stuffs!! So blur. So we walk back to locker open up again.
She thought that her things are with Chee Siang, so open our locker. In the end its at her own bag. -_-" So open again. And we lock it again Another $4 -_-" So we went shower, and head towards the first ride which is? I can't remember. *LOL*
The people there actually recognize me.. What the hell.. Then they said "Hey you're here again. If I'm not wrong last week you came right?" -__-" And one of them even ask how old am I.. *CRIES* 16!! I'M NOT!!! Ok whatever. Have a great time there. We went challanging the speed of sliding down. Lame right? *lol*
Ok, whatever. I'm tired yeah.. Gonna go rest le.. *yawns*
Bored me. Taken at Food Court.

Chee Siang at food court.

After Wild Wild Wet. He's rather lame.


Haze.. Chee Siang's GF


Group group!!



See how burnt am I! -_-"



Wild wild wet here I come.. Hope that I will really enjoy myself.. I need a smile..


Feeling so tired right now. I didn't sleep well last night. I just can't make myself sleep. There's nothing I can do to make myself tired, and sleep. *blahx*
I waited myself to get tired, rolling and rolling in bed.. The phone rang. I got shock. I jump up, reach for it.. Its him.. I feel so excited wondering if I should answer it, yet I still answer it. The moment I hear his voice, I realise that "Hey girl, it being long since you've hear his voice.. Do you know how much you miss him?"
The conversation didn't last for long. Better then nothing.. Chatted about prelims, Maths topic about shear and stretch[and what surprise me is that he did remember that he taught me before], Sentosa, Wild Wild Wet, Pizza and on and on..
This proves how useless am I.. How much joy he brings me. The list goes on and on. I realise what he really mean. "loving someone alot isn't everything in a relationship" I finally understood that. Even if he's not by my side and he gets what he want to get, being happy is the most important thing.. I might not be happy the way I am. But seeing him smile is the most blissful thing in the world.
That's what I want to say.. Gonna go shower now.. Yah, love you for the way you are..


Feeling so tired right now.. *yawns* Even though I didn't do much things today.. *laugh* Yesterday slept at around 0035, after SMS with William. But didn't talk much with him. Very tired yesterday because of art. Rushing art the whole day.. Didn't went out even though there's no school.. Chatting with Jek over the MSN, and went over IRC chatted with Wei Qiang[That birthday boy] and Shane. Well, they still like last time. So crappy. As for Shane, still having a mind of thinking that I still like Wei Qiang? *lol* Anything the case for us[Wei Qiang] already closed for years? Haha..
Woke up, check HP, saw a SMS.. Its from him.. Kinda shock. But have no idea why I can't feel the vibration.. Went to school, hoping he will reply. But he didn't. Art paper Jek was sitting behind me, as for beside was Marcus. *thumbs up for Marcus* Draw 1 zebra for 3 hours. Ended up no pra work, no drawings, no idea. I think Mrs Sim will have nightmare. Hahaz, cause one of the topic for art is Nightmare. *lol*
Head home, he message me in MSN. Chatted awhile. Enjoy the conversation. He went gaming, I waited, waited and waited.. Went for a shower, dad give me a total of 4miss called. I then realise that he did called me yesterday.. *hate myself* why am I so lazy!! Why I so into sleeping! Why I can't feel the vibration!
After shower I still waiting.. 2 hours pass, still waiting.. Until I zzz infront of the laptop.[Lucky I didn't drool if not the laptop will be wet! *lol*] Woke up at around 4pm, feel like jogging.. So I change and head out for jogging with KaiSheng. Feeling so tired after the run..
Saw Jek outside DownTown East, chatted till around 6pm. Planned to study with him. *THANKS GARY* Ask me go to school, in the end fly my kite. I'm sure I will skin him tomorrow. Kaoz, today is so HOT and he request me to go to school to teach him Maths. Ok fine, I go, said that 7pm will reach.
Was heading towards SPC for food, OMG! I SAW RX8!!! SO DAMN NICE ESPECIALLY THE COLOR!! I just bought Wheels magazine, and I saw RX8 I said to myself that this is my dream car! When I head out of SPC, I saw a car that really caught my attention. I walk towards it, I look at it. (wired at staring at car) OMG!!!!!!!! ITS RX8!!!
I reach around 7+ then he SMS telling me that he's going to eat. Waited until around 8+ until I dulan. Boil up! Thanks Chee Siang for that lame SMS, if not I guess till now still boil up!
Went for supper cum dinner with KaiSheng and ZhaoZhi. After dinner, head home. Took a picture of my "car" Evo8. Wah~ Good day for me!! ^^v Saw alot of NICE car down the street..
Yah, so here I am typing my blog. Tomorrow will be the last paper for prelims! *run around* Maths Paper 2[Should be no problem] and Science Paper 1. Being practing it for a long time. Should be ok too.. ^^v Feeling so much better.. =]

To my dear hunniEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeee:
Hunnie ar, I want to let the whole world know how great and wonderful you are to me.. So that my friends in who read my blog know how GREAT you are!
You click on me because we have links somehow. You listen to all my craps, rubbish and every single little thing. I just love complaining to you about school work, friends and stuff. I might be childish, stubborn, stupid, and rebellious and the list goes on and on, but you never give up on me before. You just understand me SO well!
We share lots of good and bad things together. Always share mp3s and stuffs. You even send me something that money can't buy. But I never did anything for you. You shower me with cares and concerns that I can hardly describe. You're just an older sister to me. Nothing can replace this friendship yeah? Ok I think that's think that's it yeah. I don't mind being your toilet bowl. To let you "Shit" everything to me. Cause I did "shit" on you too many times. Thanks hunnie!! Love ya so much!!!

And to someone special:
I've no idea why recently things turn out this way. We're getting much, much better then last time. I don't put too much hope on your returning. I just want this way to contiune. I don't mind you called me in the middle of the night[like last time] chat about this and that. Even there's nothing related to me. I don't mind you tell me about what happen to you. Seriously, I just want this way. That's it. I won't expect you to return cause I just want you to be happy..

*tagboard*
Nat: I can't wait to see you!!
jOYcE.(->passer-by): Oh, maybe see me in school Hi to me yeah? I'm not that unfriendly after all.. =]
passerby: Thanks. =]
hunnie: *MUACKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSsssssssssssssssssssssssss*
Mel: Yah, you're not far from me. Oppsite my block only.. But sometimes, even if you're beside me, words can't speak out from my heart.
el: Thanks. I've no idea what's the title of the midi. I just love it.
maysze: You too! End of year exams coming.. You better work hard for it! If there's any maths problem, feel free to find me yeah? *hope I won't remember anything at all*


We have a great chat this afternoon. We talk about going to Wild Wild Wet, Prom Night, getting driving licence, my studies, tanning, he got catch in the rain, had a great warm shower, friendster, braces, eye degree, going for lazer and stuffs.. The feelings so real.. The conversation is non-stop..
I've no idea why am I talking about relationship and stuffs, ended up I'm the breaking down. I told him how I feel after so long. The answer is out. Nothing new, nothing surprise.. As usual, rejection again.
I didn't put too much hope on it, yet I still feel so pain. Thanks for the 2 songs, though its not for me, but I like it alot. =] You told me about life, I won't listen. I'm young I know. I'm not that sensible to understand. I might be stubborn but I still must tell you.. Seriously, I love you. I mean every thing I told you just now..

Clay Aiken - The Way

Theres something bout the way you look tonight
Theres something bout the way that i can't take my eyes off you
Theres something bout the way your lips invite
Maybe its the way that i get nervous when your around
And I want you to be mine
And if u need a reason why

[Chorus:]
Its in the way that you move me
And the way that you tease me the way that I want you tonight
Its in the way that you hold me
And the way that you know me
When I can't find the right words to say
You feel it in the way, you feel it in the way

Theres something bout how you stay on my mind
theres something bout the way that I whisper your name when I'm asleep Oh no
Maybe its the look you get in your eyes
Oh baby its the way that makes me feel to see you smile
And the reasons they may change but what i'm feeling stays the sam

[Chorus]


Plus One - Here In My Heart

Wherever you are tonight
I'll see you in my dreams
Wherever I go tomorrow
You'll be here next to me
And though we are a world apart
I know you'll never be that far

CHORUS:'Cause here in my heart
There's a picture of us
Together forever
Unfaded and unbroken
Wherever you are
Your love covers me

Forever more you'll be
Here in my heart
Whenever I miss you so much
It's more than I can bearI won't cry,
I'll just close my eyes
And know you'll be there
Your kiss and your touchI'll never forget
Cause you're as close
As my very next breath

Repeat chorus





I have this special friend named John. He was very sweet and caring. He always checked on me and treated me a 'special' person. Suddenly I realized, I was falling for him. On March 14, he proposed to me and we became a couple.He remained sweet and loving to me. Every 14th of the month he would say, "Cheska, I have to tell you something..."but will not continue it and say it was nothing. I became curious, was he about to break up with me? But I continued to trust him.
Our graduation is coming --on March 14, 4 years later.
I knew that after this night, my family and I would be leaving for the states. We knew this time would come, and I never expected it to hurt so much. But I have to go and leave him. We promised to stay in touch and never forget each other. he gave me a box of chocolates, flowers, pictures of us together and a locket. And so, I left with memories of John in my heart. We always e-mailed each other and communicated. I told him how I loved life here, I partied every Friday with my friends, went shopping... I was livingthe life I always wished I had. But I was never able to read John's last letter because of my hectics chedule. I promised myself to read it when I found the time.
Then suddenly, it stopped (his letters and e-mails). I was wondering why he isn't writing to me anymore. But I understand maybe he has work to do. He didn't even greet me on March 14. After several months still without communication, I found time to read his last letter and it was the most shocking moment in my life --
Cheska,
This is my last letter to you. Remember when I was supposedto tell you something important but was never able to do so?I wanted to tell you that my "moment" (it means death) is March 14, exactly 1 year later after you left and 5 years after I proposed to you. That was what the doctor said. Ihave this sickness, I forgot what it was called. All I know ist hat I'm goingto die soon. I'm not telling you to come back after reading this letter, I just wanted to let you know that I will always love you and that forever you will be in myheart. I love you Cheska. Thank you forchanging me. Thank you for everything. Goodbye I'm gonna miss you
Lots of love,
John

I wanted to cry and shout his name. March 14 was 3 months ago! He died 3 months ago! And I never knew because Iwas so busy enjoying my life here when someone I loved so much was suffering from an unidentified sickness. Up to this day I still feel guilty, I could have been right beside John when he was ill, but I was here partying and eating my heart out.I was so guilty. He died. John died. Until his last breath he wanted to be with me. But I wasn't there. I went back to the Philippines and visited his grave. In it was written, "To John, who loved Cheskaso much, may he forever rest in peace" And he died on March 14. March14, when this day comes, I cry, laugh, think and feel guilty, this day I feel mixed emotions. I hate myself. Why do I have to read his last letter when itwas too late? Why do I have to leave anyway? These questions keep going on my mind. But I can do nothing now. John is up there. I guess he wanted me to be happy. I still love John. And I miss him so much.


Feeling so tired right now.. *Sigh* totally turn off mode for studies. No idea why too.. Piss off with my laptop. Ok I mean my brother's one. Need to switch user here and there just to update blog. If I didn't update for days meaning I'm lazy. Yappie, tomorrow no paper. Silly XinDai ask me to go to Sentosa for sun-tanning with her.. Short of cash recently.. So can't go.. =( She said she will give me enterence ticket, but.. Aiya, better don't..
Kinda angry with my sister. As usual doing things that pissing me off. *sigh* My brother book out yesterday, and today, this afternoon, he went TM to buy Levis jeans. So I went to nap without online the whole afternoon..
Maziah. Damn her. I just have enough of her. Called me non-stop. Just to ask me about photos? Can't she just explore Paint herself? Why she keep asking me about photos and stuffs? Just have enough of her and every single little things. I short of cash, special thanks to her man! Everytime MMS me her vain photos just to ask me to upload to computer for her. What the fuck? Firstly copy me of taking GD88, ok reasonable. She got cash go for it. Now? Asking me to pay things for her. Claims to pay me back, but did she? No she didn't.. Ended up I'm the one paying for 2person food instead of 1!
Yes stop hanging out with her.. She apologise. Friends must forgive and forget. Ok I've forgive her. The next thing when I sit down with her at the same table she asked for my phone, infra-red pictures in, ask me to upload photos for her. She change? Hello? She didn't just hate her sooo much! Just like today, called ask me about photos. I explain to her clearly in details she keep har har har? What's next? I've no free incoming and she keep hiding behind the brushes.. And I raise my voice at her.. She said "Oh.. Sorry" and she hang up the call. Am I bad?
Woke up, feeling kinda blur. Mum called. Look for brother.. Then she asked me.. If I've steal money from her. And she's giving me those type of feelings whereby she thinks that I am the one who steal money.. I might be naughty, I might be rebellious at times, but I won't do these type of things just to ruin this family.
Went online, change my blogskin, piss off with it cause I didn't save and I click onto "Clear Edit" everything went missing.. *Sigh* Brother called. Ask if I want anything for dinner.. He bought me a pack of food. I left it on the table. Less then 5minutes, my sister came home. She scream at my brother why didn't buy anything for her.. But in fact who knows that what time she will come back.. She keep asking me if I want the food..
Hello? Can you use abit of your brain? If I don't want the food why I ask brother to buy for me? She keep bugging me until I very angry. I then say Go eat lah go eat lah with those sucky attitude. My dad asked if I'm hungry[Cause he was at home too], after he send my brother to book in he then buy me dinner. I don't want to trouble him, I just said don't want...
I already short of cash and I still need to have my dinner outside. *sigh* hate it so much man! There are lots of things to do. I need cash urgently!! ARghhh..!!
Went back to school. Doesn't really have any mood to study. Plus the night class people were causing too much noise, ended up I totally turn off mood. Ususally I can endure the noise, but what's wrong with me? Today seems to be turn off day for me.. Everything went wrong for no reason..
Pack my stuffs and head home. Chatted with hunnie, have a good cry. Feeling so much better now. Although the pains are still with me, but at least I feel abit better. *thanks hunnie*
Going Wild Wild Wet again on Thursday. With Chee Siang and Haze.. Hope that I will really enjoy myself. Oh yah, hunnie thanks for that 25% off of that "Wet Pass" That's what I really wanted. I going to apply it soon. Mostly tomorrow or something. Mum going to give me the cash tomorrow. Hunnie, I really apprecaite it.. I went to talk to her just now. But I didn't told her what you told me. Because I don't want this house to be upside down just because of money problem.
Ben invited me for his BBQ this coming Saturday.. Wow, this week seems to be busy. Thursday Wild Wild Wet, Friday brother's POP. And stupid him asked me to go. -_-" And Saturday Ben's BBQ. Hmm.. BBQ mostly if Gary's group going, I be going too. Cause I going to pester him like hell!!
Kelvin requested me to help him to pierce his belly. Still thinking if I should do it. Cause he said that he tired poking but fail. Cause its so painful.. He help me with tongue, I think I should help him with belly too.. Hmmm.. Should I?
My favourite song.. From her first album ..Baby One More Time..

Britney Spears - I Will Be There

Oh yeah
You don't have to say what's on your mind
Cause I know where you've been
Give it up and leave it all behind
And let me begin

(Chorus 1)
Come and hold my hand
Let me show how friends should be
I will make it alrightlet me make it clear
You can put your trust in me
Yes I will be there

(Chorus 2)
When you need someone
You just turn around
And I will be therewhen you're feeling low
Naby let me knowand I will be there
Won't you let me make it up to you

Now you know where I am
There ain't nothing that I wouldn't do
Just to love once again
(Chorus 1 and 2)

(Bridge)
Just take a stand
I'll be here for younow and forever
Give one more chance
To show you how much I care
I'll be there
When you need someone
Just turn around
And I will be therewhen you're in sorrow
Just let me know and I will be there

(Chorus 2)
I'll be there
(I will be there)
(I will be there)
I will be there

*tagboard*
->passer-by: Thanks.. But I really want to know who are you. Can you just give me your real name? I got a feeling is that you're someone I know.. Mostly to be Andy?
some1fromurpast: No need to guess I already know. Calvin right? "n ur attitude still like tat" Because you always tell me this.. People do change, but I don't think I change for the past here. I still speak vulgarity like nobody's business. You understand me well, you should know.. And you too should take care.. If I'm not wrong, you're going NS soon right.. If see this message, feel free to contact me.. No hesitate about it alright? Oh course you have a choice of not contacting me. Its you own choice. Birthday coming soon too.. Happy birthday in advance.. Take care, that's what I have to say.


New skin.. How was it.. Hmm... Kinda piss off when I was doing it.. Kns.. I've done everything and that stupid mouse I have click onto "Clear Edit" damn it man..
Maths Paper 1 was a killer. That's what I want to say.. ^^v
Ok, gonna go to school now, kinda rush.. Hmmm.. Photos photos!! Update again tonight.
*messy eBeL* But look nice eh?



dont think i dont know its you who comment at my blog. you disgusting biatch. you look as awful as how you described me. and if im a bitch, it takes one to know another.
ebel 09.18.04 - 11:33 pm #

Thanks to whoever that boliao FREAK that went tagging at my blog and Elena's blog. Com on' man, please grow up, and stop sucking your thumbs. I hate her yes. Last time but not now. Ok? Please grow up. And my name is always type as eBeL. Wanna frame me up? Try harder yeah? Grow up! I won't use such nice sentences to tag. Cause my English is so damn sucks. Everyone knows that. So whoever that went tagging PLEASE FUCK OFF AND PUT YOUR REAL NAME DOWN! DON'T BE SO FUCKING CHILIDISH AND BOLIAO TO DO THIS TYPE OF CHILDISH THINGS!
Please lah, don't do this type of stupid things that will cause both of us to have misunderstanding. JEALOUS OF ME BEING SO CLOSE TO HER? Say so, don't be such a chee bye person that dare to talk fucking big only on net. Please lor, not happy say so, no need to do this type of things one lor.. DON'T LIKE THE WAY I AM, PUT YOUR REAL DOWN DOWN! VOICE IT OUT! Don't put nameless yeah? You must be the one that went tagging at our blogs. ^^v


Boring day.. Hahaz, look like every weekend is boring to me.. Hmmm.. Stay at home the whole day. My hand is in real pain, maybe because of yesterday swim too much, play too much. Haha, I'm enjoying it, so who cares?
Anyway, as usual, Gary still sucks. Bugging me yesterday night.. Until I can't sleep. Ended up chatting with him thru SMS. -.-" He ask me how am I going to repay him cause he hurt himself.. -_________-"
Woke up at 10 this morning.. Slacking around whole day.. Online till around 3pm, went to watch TV.. Shi Zhi Lu Kou, followed by Zhen Qing cum President Star Charity Show.. Then Funniest Animal don't know what shit.. Then News, follow by Just for laugh.. Really have a great laugh yeah? And last one was channel 5 about NS and Si Yuan Lu.. ^^v
Then went out for dinner at 9plus.. Went to Old Airport road.. Near Duman High there.. Food was great! *yummy* Just reach home not long. Tired like hell.. [Although I didn't do much things]
Did I get tanner? *Please say yes...*

Mum said that durning Zong Qiu Jie gonna go "celebrate" grandpa's birthday.. But this year doing it different. Or pehaps since last year.. Last year celebrate at Changi Hospital.. Grandpa didn't even know it's his birthday.. He didn't know that he was coma for some time.. And.. After his 71 birthday, he pass away.. Gosh.. Why am I talking abou this.. *breathe in* And its on Tuesday.. So now don't know how.. I doubt they will allow me to skip school cause of O's.. *sigh*
Ok, gonna go study now.. Anything just message me in MSN or can give me a call yeah?
*tagboard*
alan: Kor, I haven't get the tickets from ah zax[the lady who work in singa festa] yet.. Cause she haven't give me any.. I've no idea how many tickets she's gonna give me.. And my friends wanna tag along.. If I got extra, I will ask you along yeah?
->passer-by: Thanks man.. =) Hope that will be able to do well..
xiang: Not bad looking meh? I see him almost everyday until I sian le.. -.-"
nameless: Thanks for that fucking bull shit comment. Anyway, don't be a humji that dare to type in net but not speak up in real person. AND I don't need your comment anyway.. Hmmm.. Dare to type and talk BIG in net, but don't dare to put your real name out. Really humji yeah? So SHUT UP and mind your fucking own business hor..
Natalie: I went yesterday.. Today Saturday wor.. -.-" Are you ok? Hahaz.. Anyway, don't care about those HUMJIs.. Dare to type don't dare to type real name.. *yawns* sucko!!!


Today Social Studies paper still ok. The source base are craps. That's what I can say. Spending too much time in sourse base, in the end the essay rushing through. And my hand writting.. -_-" From nice to shit. *lol* I've no idea what am I writing.. 4 papers.. Wah, first time.. 1 question about one page plus for essay. Craps yeah? *lol* Chemistry paper was crap too.. Manage to do for Section B. Usually always die there. *ha* Lucky what I ask yesterday did came out, if not I guess I will hit myself against the wall. First time predict things so well... *lol*
WeiQiang sucks man.. So long never get to chat with each other. Long = Years. Hahaz.. Today came messaging me in MSN, and ask me about studies.. He seldom do that, I guess he's bored that explain? Haha.. Anyway, we chat about my art, then he give me confident with my exams. That makes me smile. And the best thing is that he even remember my birthday.. ^^v Cool is it?
Came home after paper.. Start finding people to Wild Wild Wet. Just don't feel like staying at home.. Later be like yesterday, for no reason break down. The feeling is not nice yah? Hmm.. The last person in my list was actually Gary. *lol* No idea why I called him out. In the end he said ok.
So we meet each other at 1415 at DownTown East. As usual, nothing new, he's late. Actually xi guan jiu hao. ^^v classmate for 5 years, what to do? Understand every single thing he do.. I even know his ATM card password. *lol*
Both of us only, then we went to change, and head towards the ride.. Haha, the first ride we play is actually for 6 person, but only 2 of us, rather lame yeah? Then we saw the BIG TANK water spashing down. Then everyone start to run towards it, then we joke around and said "Holy Water" *LOL*
Then play tunnel and blah blah blah.. The second time we walk up the stairs, got people shout our name.. -.-" In the end was our ex-classmate. *lol* He ended up giving us free float? So we no need to pay for it. Cool yeah? So we slack around.. The "slacking pool" don't ask how many rounds we went, we can't even count!
We went to the wave pool. Damn him, make me drink so much chlorine water.. *cries* but after all fun lah.. I was about to "drown" he pull me us, in the end he's the one drinking. *lol* Then we saw his friends. Then they start talking and they went to play the *damn what's the ride name?* Ok whatever ride, cause got 7 people, that ride only for 2 person. So in the end they went to play, I slack around at the pool again.
Total 7 of us in the end.. And we went to the slacking pool again. This time round they keep spashing water at the life guard. Poor thing. *lol* 7 of us, too too train.. Then when 3 pass the life guard they start spashing water at the life guard.. We went round and around, play with them and play with the current. The life guards are scare of us man..
The ride for 6 people.. Haha, we got 7 people, we tried to argue with the person in charge, but in the end still can't.. So we spilt up, 3 and 4.. Fun!! Really.. Then they tried standing up at the float, and pose in front of the cam, in the end they fall. *lol*
I'm enjoying myself today! *SO MUCH* Until I can't even count you see.. ^^v They smoke which I don't even care. I met them today, I'm fun with them. I'm no longer the me I used to be. I smile more, I talk to them more even I just know them. I love the way I am now! And oops! I'm tanned! Really tanned!! :D *thumbs up*
Gary planned to go Jurong.. Hmmm... I wanna tag along, even in there are 6 guys and I'm the only girl[just like today -.-"] I still wanna go! Cause I'm having so much fun with him! Can't wait to go swimming/sentosa/wild wild wet or anywhere with him!
I love him, I love him as a friend. Cause he will only bring me smile and maybe he sucks? *lol* Although he always late, but he will apologise like HELL! He always joke around and I'm the one who will laughing lamely but he will say "not funny leh." I get bullied, he always stand beside me whacking the person who bullied me. I cry, he ask me go and die. Cause he always believe that nothing will bring me down. I sad, he let me whack. I do craft he help me do boards. That's Gary. I believe that he's the one who send by God above bringing me smile and standing by my side forever as a friend. =]
Kpo about his look? *lol* I "cop" the picture from his friendster. So here it is.. ^^v

A joke to share that I found in Friendster bulletin board.. Some years back read it before.. Anyway, its funny..
A Singaporean was on holiday in Malaysia. He was having his coffee, croissants, bread, butter & jam at the hotel'scoffee house. A Malaysian man who waschewing gum, sat down next to him and started acasual conversation.
Malaysian : "You Singaporeans eat the whole bread?"
Singaporean : "Of course."
Malaysian : "We don't. In Malaysia, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants & sell them across to Singapore..."
The Malaysian then had a smirk on his face while the Singaporean listened in silence.
Malaysian : "Do you eat the jam with the bread?"
Singaporean : "Of course."
Malaysian (chuckling) : "We don't.. In Malaysia,we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all thepeels, seeds & other left-overs in a container,recycle them, transform them into jam, before wesell it across to Singapore..."
This time, the Singaporean retorted: "Do youhave sex in Malaysia?"
Malaysian : "Why, of course we do"
Singaporean : "Do you wear protection"
Malaysian : "Of course! We wear condoms."
Singaporean : "And what do you do with thec ondoms once you've used them?"
Malaysian : "We throw them away, of course."
Singaporean : "We don't. In Singapore, thegovernment secretly puts them in a container,recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum& sell them across to Malaysia, & that's the realreason why we banned chewing gum inSingapore."
I'm tired, time for bed.. Oh yah, anyone wanna go Wild Wild Wet in groups, tag me along yeah? I want to go again! I love there so much! The staffs are really friendly and they are nice people yeah? Treat me will be better.. *lol* Ok whatever.. *tired*


Seriously, I've no idea what happen to me this afternoon.. *sigh* things doesnt go my way. I cry for no reason. For who about what I also have no idea. Sitting infront of laptop for more than 5 hours, doing nothing but staring.. Staring at people signing in and out of MSN..
Whenever I'm alone, things just go this way. *sigh* So what's really going on with me? I've no idea.. Trying to figure out too.. Feeling so bad, mood 100% down. I'm ok now..
Went for dinner with Gary. Ok, he simply sucks. That's what I want to say. Crap around all the way, didn't study at all. So right now I gonna study for my Chemistry. I think Social Studies I gonna give up for prelims. Cause my history already... No point study hard. Even if I putin 100% I still won't pass.
Was watching Singapore Idol just now. This song is nice.

Santana - When I Look Into Your Eyes

Ooooh, ah ah
When I look into your eyes
I see the Ocean in the shore
And I know just what I'm living for
When I look into your eyes. Yeah.

When I look into your eyes
All the love there is arrives
And everything around me dies
When I look into your eyes

When I look into your eyes
The sun melts deep into the sky
And plants a seed inside my soul
And takes me up into the sky. Yeah Yeah


wtf is wrong with me? why the tears are coming down? why am i crying? who am i crying about? can someone answer my question?


I'm tired I'm tired I'm so TIRED!!!
Woke up at 4am to study, yesterday study till 2330. Then went to bed, wake up continue chiong Physics. And bloody hell, those I study no come out!!!
Very tired right now. History paper was ok. Last minute study work. Cause teacher gave us hints before? Hahaz, anyway, maybe can score. But how well I score another case le..
Physics.. All the formula, are inside my head.. Fianally yah? Ok whatever. Gonna go study for Chemistry + sleeping beauty.. *lol*

*tagboard*
lingg: Cannot love me yah? Later your Zax come.. *lol*
wantanhero: Oh hi.. Aaron friend ar? Hmm.. I'm trying to think who are you. *lol* Maybe I'll ask him yeah? Cool that you can't go. Less 1 people to SQUEEZE!! *LOL*
slurpee: Thanks. Its a feeling of myself. And I don't think my EL is good, so anyway, as long as can understand can le.. ^^v
xiang: Thanks wor.. Good luck for your N's yeah? Study hard!! Last minute work for N's work!
Natalie: I only can say you're flooding my tagboard. -.-" Anyway, last time go is for the Math thing. Now is visiting courses yah? I want to go NP not TP! NP got more shuai shuai you see.. =X No lah, cause I think NP courses are more.. Then NP business is good. :x Thanks for your luck, but my Physics gone case... *cries* that lead to Chemistry.. Bloody helL!!!!
->passer-by: Shin's songs are always nice you see.. *lol* Yap. Thanks for your luck, hope it will help somehow.. *lol*
MY DEAR HUNNIE YINGYAN
WHERE ARE YOU!? I MISS YOU SOOOOO MUCH!! SO LONG NEVER TALK TO YOU LE!! WO HAO XIANG NI WOR!!! CAN YOU SEE IT!? I MISS YOU HUNNIEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!! :x


Blahx.. Science practical sucks yeah? So clumy.. *boo* The u-tube.. argh.. dont feel like talking about it, make me feel so stupid. The whole lap only me so clumy.. *boo* should be able to do well. I think. *lol*
Today's English paper was ok. I think. =X Summary is a blood sucker. *lol* that's what I can say.. Chinese one more blood sucker. I only think Chinese shouldn't be doing well..
Blahx, that's it. In hurry, brother book out le.. *boO* Ebel no net to play.. Good thing isn't? So I can study.. *muahahs*
Anyway, wrote this so-called poem during English paper 2. Kinda bored when you finish early.. There's someone out there I'm dedicating to. CopyRight by me. COPYCATS please don't copy and paste and said its a poem you wrote. Thanks. ^^v
"Loving ya forever!"
That's what you told me
For some reason I have to leave
You said you will wait for me
When I return
Boy, you're already gone
Don't you know how crazy I went?
My life is in a mess
Yet no one cleans up for me
I tried to escape from everything
But it doesn't seems to be
What I want it to be
I waited, I cried, I begged
Nothing makes you turn back
You have a brand new life to live
I'm still the way I used to be
You're happier then you seem to be
Don't you know how painful I'm living?
Boy, I want you to come back to me
To let this story continues
With our happy ending..
15th September 2004 09:08
ReNxINgER dedicate to you..

*tagboard*
bubu: yap. Change skin again. Kinda bored at home.. Ahahha..
->passer-by: Thanks for saying my blog is nice yeah? Yap yap, I love Shin alot.. Especially Xiaohua. =]
Sam: *boo*
hunnie: Hunnie.. I always got reply when there's alot of people tagging ma.. =(
passer_by: Yap. I'm a pure fan of Xiaohua.. Err.. How to love you when I don't even know who are you?
han quan: Ok lah, change le lah.. Oh yah, take care of yourself yeah? Drink more water and remember to take your medicine and rest more! ^^v
Natalie: Yah.. =_=" Anyway, after prelims I'm going TP again! On weekdays! But I not sure when.. So I'll update you again.. Anyway, you next week holiday right? Wanna go WWW? :x *lol* I want go play!! I need to TAN TAN TAN TAN TAN!! :x
LuvPeace: I did reply. Once in awhile? *lol* Anyway, thanks for visiting my blog.. Really very kpo to know who are you?


Going school soon.. *pray hard for practical that i will do well*

*thumbs real up for this song* Maroon 5 - She will be loved

Beauty queen of only eighteen
She had some trouble with herself
He was always there to help her
She always belonged to someone else

I drove for miles and miles
And wound up at your door
I've had you so many times but somehow
I want more

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with a broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
And she will be loved

Tap on my window knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I know I tend to get so insecure
It doesn't matter anymore

It's not always rainbows and butterflies
It's compromise, it moves us along, Yeah
My heart is full and my door's always open
You can come anytime you want

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved x4

I know where you hide
Alone in your car
Know all of the things that make you who you are
I know that goodbye means nothing at all
Comes back and MAKES ME catch her every time she falls
(yeah)
Tap on my window knock on my door
I wanna make you feel beautiful

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain (oh)
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
And She will be lovedAnd she will be loved
(Please don't try so hard to say goodbye)
And She will be loved

Please don't try so hard to say goodbye
Please don't try so hard to say goodbye
(I don't mind spending everyday out on your corner in the pouring rain)
Please don't try so hard to say goodbye


School was bad today. The moment I step into school, teacher ask me to tie up my hair... *boO* Can you imaging if I tie hair to school? Look wired!! Very wired!
First period was Maths. Lessons as usual. This time round everyone seems to be so scare, and everyone was studying except me.. Keep yawning during lessons. Feel like putting my head down and ZzzZzz.. Physics was ok, nothing much happen anyway.. Chinese.. *shake head* Letter writing, teacher said average 10 people, 4 wrote out of point. But I guess I didn't wrote out of point. I'm kinda confident about it? Just hope that can be able to pass.. b4!!! >.<"
Recess have some "dao bao" Haha, not "ai xin breakfast" it from Michelle. How sweet of her. Finally my wish came true ar? *lol* So who will be the next giving me breakfast everyday? AhahA..
After recess, suppose to have English. But the teacher went talking about tomorrow practical. Haha.. I love my class. Cause everything we will be the last. *run around* and tomorrow reporting time for practical is 1115!! Can you imaging at around 11am I'm still at home? Haha.. Mostly during recess I still sleeping like a pig. Snoring.. =X
Chemisty SUCKS! Yucks! Nothing new, I fail again. *lol* 9/65? Wonderful yeah? This time really didn't touch my notes at all. If not I guess I should get a better grades. And I'm the only one getting a single digit for the results. =_=" And she said: "the biggest insulting is by having 1 digit mark for my paper. young lady do me a favour, don't come for tomorrow's practical and friday paper. So that I get to mark less scripts" what type of teacher is this? Damn hell!!!
Ok, I'm tired. And stupid Han Quan keep chasing me to bed.. Update later. Waking up at around 12 to study.


Something that my sister taught me.. Rather lame. But make sense. Cause she said that while people taking photos, they always use scissor, paper, stone..
Jian Dao Scissor

Shi tou Paper

Bu Stone

Slept at around 4am yesterday. Manage to get to sleep. As usual pesting Pan for games. MSN something wrong. Tried playing Xiao Shuai Shuai but didn't work. Saw Pan online, message him with a *boo* and I offline. =X He SMS me, "wah boo liao then go liao?" I went back MSN again. Cause I tried to reconnect to see if it works. I went back, he not online. Then I SMSed him back. "wah, ask me go back you go liao?" Then both of us laughing and laughing..
Have a game with him, and he went to bed.. So I continue playing.. He intro me some sites to play, that took me hours to play with it.. Finally off the comp at around 4am, with no one online.. Kinda bored with games too.. Too tired yeah?
Rolling and rolling in the bed. Manage to get into lala-land somehow.. Woke up at around 9am crying like hell.. Dreaming about you, boy.. Hugging each other so tightly, acting cute in "Pretty In Tokyo" designing the pictures that we took.. So real.. Yet so painful.. I want the dream to continue, to continue to have my sweet dreams.. Somehow, I just wake up crying and crying..
Did nothing today. Went down to dad shop, in the end quarrel with my dad. *hope that he wont change the mind of helping me to get the tickets* Just because of my sister. Why? Why is he always so unreasonable? I woke up early, I play comp. Ok my fault. So? But at least I did some housework. But what about my sister? He keep saying that he's never biased. HELLO!? I can sense that you are..
She never did any household chores, yet he didn't scream at her. What about me? Did so much things, yet he didn't even appreciate it.. I didn't wash the cups only scream and yell at me. What about my sister? 24hours at home, yet he wont scold. When I get home already dying, yet still must do those stupid things.. Just hate it SO MUCH! Bring me along if you care for me.. Anyone out there I'm refering to..
Came home, pack my bro's room, studied.. Was reading chemistry notes on bed. Nothing new. Reading on "Exothermic & Endothermic" and fall asleep. So tired, yet must study. Gonna cross out another one in "Dates" Bored. Prelim coming, yet I didn't even studied at all.. *gosh*
Made up my mind. If my blog no one tags, I will closed down. Cause no point blogging if no one reads it... Its a dairy yes I know. Have to keep it deep in my heart. Kept things inside my heart will get nothing but more painful walk path to go through.. *whatever*


All day long I think of you
I can't even think of things to do
Wishing all my daydreams come true
Now, baby, what am I to you?

I think about yesterday
Somebody was talking to me
But I couldn't understand a word they said
Not that I was trying to be rude
But conversation couldn't make it through
The thoughts of love I had for you

Baby your face takes up my time
Because I can just see your face with mine
I try to change my thoughts; its's a waste of time
You keep my mind occupied

Tell me what to do?
When I can only think of you
Even when I have simple things to do
Like talking on the telephone
Or watching TV when something's on
If it ain't about you then what's the use?

I'm broke but I'm happy
I'm poor but I'm kind
I'm tall but I'm healthy, yeah
I'm high but I'm grounded
I'm sane but I'm overwhelmed
I'm lost but I'm hopeful baby
What it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be fine fine fine
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving a high five
I feel drunk but I'm sober
I'm young and I'm underpaid
I'm tired but I'm schooling
I care but I'm restless
I'm here but I'm really gone
I'm wrong and I'm sorry baby
What it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be quite alright
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is flicking a cigarette
What it all comes down to
Is that I haven't got it all figured out just yet
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving the peace sign
I'm free but I'm focused
I'm green but I'm wise
I'm hard but I'm friendly baby
I'm sad but I'm laughing
I'm brave but I'm chicken shit
I'm sick but I'm pretty baby
What it all boils down to
Is that no one's really got it figured out just yet
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is playing the handphone
What it all comes down to my friends
Is that everything's just fine fine fine
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is hailing a taxi cab...

Oh yah, forget about the photos I took today. Ha.. I wanted to edit post, but so lag. -_-"
Was over the phone with William..

Where am I looking? More coming up yah? Got "mu di" de.. *grinz*

*boO*

Ah ha?

Took at Singa Festa..

eH? What am I looking?

Shuai shuai? Sorry, there no shuai shuai *lol*

{/links --

ctrl + left click

{/online shopping --

{/archives --

watch me waste my life away

{/miscellaneous --

my virtual barang