{/profile --

ramblings of a young adult

Reach home at around 7pm. Went to Bedok to teach William maths. Took 17 there. The journey was long. I nearly fall asleep. SMSed him, ask him where was he. He said he will be late. Decided to drop at Bedok North. Went in to San Qin Gong and bai my grandpas and aunt. I don't know why tears keep rolling down my face.
I promise grandpa before to be strong. No to cry anymore. I promise him to be a brave girl. But somehow I didn't.. I didn't at all.. Told him every single thing that happen.. Those things happen to me and happen at home. Finical not doing good at home. I hope he understand what we've being through. Hope that grandpas and aunt up there will help us to walk through this part. The feelings just too sucks. Hard to describe. I don't know what to do.. Holding onto the joss stick, keep crying and crying. I wet my skirt, I wet my legs.
Went to toilet, wash up my face.. Foundation gone, I look terrible. Reach Bedok at 1415[Suppose to meet 1400] in the end I wait for him less then a minute, he pop out. If he didn't pop out, I'm sure gonna piss off. Meet him 10 times 8 times late, 8 times pang seh me. Just have enough of everything.
He was so surprised when he saw me. I've no idea why. Head towards Long John Silver for lunch, and walked to HangTen. I asked him to help me steal that Shin's stuffs. But he don't want. I also don't know why. And the most wired thing is that usually 1 store only have 4 staffs, but Bedok have 5 staffs. That's not the end. 3 at counter, 2 outside. NO ONE SEE AND LOOK AT US! Why he don't want to take!? =_=" Just feeling dishearted..
I didn't talk about Marc. I didn't told him anything at all. He know I'm not ok. I just keep quiet. He tried to make me laugh with every single thing he do, but I just can't smile.. Went to library after that. Look out for my art books.. Then he looked for table. Saw them putting "Strictly no self-study during weekends" We care? Nope. No one care. Everyone still study.
He just sucks. He walked away without telling me. Putting down his bag[which contains some useless stuffs] then I was still looking for books, he suddenly pop out at the oppsite shelf, and put his hand in to come over to me in between the books. DAMN HELL! I hearly shout out.
He asked me to hurry, took only 1 book, and head towards the table. Sitting down, taught him some basic vectors. He went out for a puff, I sitting down. Continue reading my art book. Trying to figure out what I really want. My eyes were wet, I looked up. Hoping it will not roll down.
Library closing in 30minutes time. Pack our stuffs, planning to leave. Continue looking for my books. Found another one. Grab them, and head towards level 1. Borrowed them. Walking around Bedok, decided to go for pool. I swear I don't know how to play. He just pull me along. Argh.. No choice. Accompany him. He's getting bored when he's playing with me. Keep losing to him. *sigh* what to do? My best friend.
Finish game around 1845. Went down to first floor. Went into Mac's toilet. Saw Roxy Pink. Didn't hi to her. She's damn guai lan. I'm going in, and she's blocking my way. Maybe she didn't do it on purpose, but she just piss me off. Walked out, waiting for William.
Then I told him that I saw her[although he don't know her] then he said he want to see how she look like. Both of us standing outside Mac. William's friends approach us. Chatted awhile.. Roxy Pink came out. Then I told him what she's wearing. He looked into that direction. If I'm not wrong his friends heard what I said. They also turn back.
The most funny thing was that William's friend said "Aiyo, she though she very pretty and she though that we are looking at her, and she ended up walking like...[he show the way she walked]" I was like -___-" Err ok.. Trying to laugh.. Really very funny with the way he acted. I think most likely she saw me? Oh well, who cares?
Walked across the road, they wanted to eat BK, I don't feel like tagging along.. So I just told William that I'm going home. Took MRT home, going to reach Pasir Ris.. Andy SMSed me.. I don't know why too.. No idea what's on his mind. Telling me that he read about my blog and stuffs like that.
Andy: Please do something. Just hate me alright?
Was alone for dinner.. Alone journey home. Waited for bus.. Saw alot of couples. Just making me SICK! I'm tired.. I don't feel like doing anything right now.. My eyes are heavy, I hope I can sleep. I hope tears won't roll down my cheeks.. I hope someone is beside me.. But I'm all alone facing the 4 walls in the room. Facing this lonely house.. *sigh*


Jessica Simpson - For Your Love

You are every part of me
And with every breath I take
Your love will light my way
And for every day I live
The promise that I made
Is I will never let you go babe
I swear I never knew love like this before
And for everything you are
I gotta make you know
For your love

And I'd give anything for your love
Cause baby I'd never make it alone
And forever I'll stand by your side
I just gotta make you see yeah
I lonely live... for your love
When i was running out of faith
You still believed in me
And never let me fall
And the times I lost my way
You're the one who held me up
And brought me through it all

I swear I never saw it like this before
Cause baby with your love you gave me
The reason to go on
And for your love

And I'd give anything for your love
Cause baby I'd never make it alone
And forever I'll stand by your side
I just gotta make you see yeah
I lonely live... for your love
When i was running out of faith
You still believed in me
And never let me fall
And the times I lost my way
You're the one who held me up
And brought me through it all

And everything I am
And all that I could be
Would mean nothing now
If you're not with me
Shining your light on me
When night is closing in
When I was weak
You were the one who made me strong
You gave me faith to carry on

And I'd give anything for your love
Cause baby I'd never make it alone
And forever I'll stand by your side
I just gotta make you see yeah
I lonely live... for your love
When I was running out of faith
You still believed in me
And never let me fall
And the times I lost my way
You're the one who held me up
And brought me through it all


Decided to blog before I go out. Feeling so damn lost right now.. Torn up, shattered heart.. Billions and billions times my heart being smash over and over again.
Yesterday was out with Andy. I thought I will be happy cause I'm meeting him. Those mixed up feelings. Gosh.. I like Andy, but we never get together before. Feeling so damn fuck up when he gone missing. Feeling really happy when I received SMS from him. But everything change after what happen yesterday..
When I reach Tampines I told him that I got a feeling that I will see Marc. We went for movie and Centuary Square. After movie, he wanted to take escalator, but I wanted to take the lift. More faster..
Then when we walk pass archard, I saw Marc. I can't comfirm. I told Andy about it. We walked back.. It's really him.. I don't know what happen to me. Why am I feeling this way? Why am I feeling happy? I don't know why..
I really have no idea why I raise up my hand to wave at him. I don't know why he walked out too.. He approached us, Andy walked away. We chatted. That moment last less then 1 minute thing. I feel so torn up..
I really want to shut Andy up. He kept talking about Marc. Just make me feel so uneasy. Deep down inside my heart, I keep crying and crying.. The tears just never stop rolling down my cheeks.
I really though he's out of my mind, out of my heart, out of my dreams.. But I was wrong.. Totally wrong. I realise that I still cry over him. I've no idea why I cry.. Was it because I've hurt Andy deeply or am I crying cause I still can't forget Marc. *sigh* Just hate those feelings.
No one was by my side yesterday. Its just me alone.. Maybe Nelson was the one listening to all my craps. Then he's trying his best to keep passing tissue to me.. Ong was flooding me in MSN with lyrics of songs.. And he called, I can't control myself, and I still cried..
Yesterday night, I though William will called. But he didn't. He's out with XiaoHui. I called him, he too happy with her. So I didn't talk much. I just hang up the called. I wanted to call hunnie, but I scare she will get worried about me..
Left me alone in my room, hiding at a corner, keep crying and crying.. Tears just can't stop rolling down the cheeks even until now. My eyes are so painful, the dark ring are so dark that I have no other choice but to put foundation on my face.
I hope that I be able to walk through this pain. The feelings so sucks. And I hate it! -out! I don't want to be alone. A SMS from any readers from you will make me smile.


Sentosa pictures.. Now that I receive from XinDai.. Bad mood, don't feel like blogging.. LEAVE ME ALONE!!
Ok, sucky looking me. Yes I know. Fat too..


Me & Bud. Where the fuck is he?


Finally XinDai & me. Some look really funny. I think all?





I think she can't hold the cam well..


Finally..

Taken with Bud HP

Izyan

Izyan & Me

Me & Dong Hui

Leong Sze & Kelvin

Me & Ong

Finally my darling & Me

The art teacher who put alot of damn perfum. Gay? What do you think?

This is my 200 post. Hahaz, time pass so fast. Like that 200 post le. *smile*
Well, enjoy myself in school today. Although I'm still sleepy. :x Alright, first lesson was actually CME. Nothing to do, but everyone discuss about tomorrow entrepreneur fair. So excited about it!
After CME was PE. =D Well, we discuss about entrepreneur fair until we don't even realise the time. By the time we know we're late, everyone rush out of classroom, change and head towards quadrangle. VOLLEYBALL!! *BIG BIG SMILE*
Teams of 4 per group. Muhaha, me, Darren, Kai Sheng and Ong. Verus Gary, Napat, Leong Sze and Marcus. Hahaz, really enjoy ourselves. *big smile* Finally Gary talk to me. Hahaz, after more then 4months of "war" =D I went to look for new ball cause the one that we're using is kinda disfigure. Saw a new one, I bouce it, he finally open his mouth and talk to me. *lol*
First round was horrible. Very horrible. Get trash by them. If I not wrong was actually 0-7? Yeah, we 0 they 7. =X Then second round we won. 7-3. Then last round was 3-3. Then bell ring le. =( Really enjoy myself very much. Although my hand got more blue-black but I really enjoy myself.
Sitting down, with a butterfly shape on the floor. *haha* my ass is damn wet. My hair totally soak with water. Like being caught in the rain. And so does my shirt. Like some siao char bo like that. =X
Went back to class, nua nua nua!! English so sucks. :x Do some corrections and stuffs, 2 periods gone. Social Studies even more nua!  She said "Ok class, I can give you time do discuess about entrepreneur fair, but you must promise me one thing. Is to do this sheet of paper. By next week have to pass up." *bomb* Kelvin's head on the table. Haha, he continue with his dreams, as for me? Staring into space. LOL
Recess time, bitch around with the 2 bitches. Then art lessons. 4 periods of arts. Gosh. By the time I reach the art room, the stupid ass teacher with the stupid strong perfum, switch on the radio to those classical musics. Damn. It is so #&$^@*#(@(# Everyone request to change station to 98.7fm. But he went to switch off. lame is the one word that i can find to describe him =x
After school, got maths self study group. Then stay till aroind 1530. Then KaiSheng, Ong and me went for lunch. Then came home le lor. =X Craps around. Talking about what we gonna be doing after O's. O's havent come and we are discussing about what's gonna happena fter that. Hahaz, extrem lame.
Kinda happy for them. At least they know what to do after O's.. As for me? Only want to find a job. That's it. End of story. Hahaz, with the pay, I will shop for MORE CLOTHES!! =D~ *thumbs up*
Oh well, just got a SMS from Delun daddy.. =( He hospitalize. I called him. Then in the end he said "Aiya, wo mei shi lah. ni si le wo duo hai mei you si." ..... Speechless. What a good daddy he is. =(
Hmm.. Mood is good! Cause tomorrow is FRIDAY!! Repeat after me class, F-R-I-D-A-Y- :x Hur hur, then Saturday will be going out to teach William maths. =/ Hope that I still can remember every thing. At least he bother to mafan me! =_=" If not, I gonna kill him if he fail his O's! I SWEAR! Hmm.. That's all for today. I'm tired. =( Need rest!!
WOO TOMORROW IS FRIDAY!!!! I LOVE FRIDAYS!!!


Another nuaing day. Oh well, today just simply sucks. =(
Continuous tests. Can't take it. Argh, feeling so damn fuck up. Like having some relay "games" After reccess, Chinese test. Feeling so damn tired. Didn't even write properly. Putting my head on the table, and went to lala-land.. Finish the test at 1235, head back towards class for Social Studies test which started at 1245. Finish at 1330. Cause school finish early today because of some don't know what shity thing. Then head towards Physics lab for another test. =( Finish at around 1440.
Went to Mac after pestering with Darren, KaiSheng and Ong for mac. =X Finally they agree! Head towards Loyang Point for lunch[I shall consider taking lunch at around 3pm] Oh well, reach home at around 4pm? Hmmm.. Chatted with him over the phone till around 5.. Head towards lala-land.. Woke up by him. :x cause I ask him to wake me up. Then nua nua abit, do frienster stuffs, shower and head down towards daddy shop.
Don't know what else to type. I'm just tired..
Anyway, some pictures to share. Taken long ago. *lol*
Taken when I'm in Sec3. =X Me, Michelle and Nattinee[Thai girl]

Some of my real close friends. =D

Ah.. That's it.. Oops, not forgeting my darling XINDAI!! :x

And William.. =D

I still waiting for hunnie to take picture with me..

And my dar dar also..

My darling girl always.. *shY*


That's all folks!! =D~
passerby: Thanks. :) Orginal from ReNxINgER *lol*
lingg: *hugs* Thanks girl.. Thanks for loving me soOOo much. Thanks for not giving up hope on me.. *cries* so touch
tt: Yap. I know. Some thoughts of mine only. Thanks for your concern anyway. =)
i'mDAman:  Yaya. Only you will do those things to make me happy all over again. =)


Feeling much better already. Since William called me. I though him what happen. He was kinda piss off with it. Then in the end he called that fellow up. That asshole don't tell William who he really is. And ended William very angry and he scream at him. *lol* -thumbs up-
William rox.. Cause William told that fellow that I'm his mei, then he protect me as his mei mei ma.. AwW.. so sweet.. Not only that, I also like to thanks Eugene dar for calling him up too. But that ass just don't want to tell them who the HELL is he.. *fan myself*
Right now is 0522.. Hahaz, woke up again at 4am. Kinda tired, already finish with my homework. Still wondering should I be studying for my Social Studies, Chinese and Phyics test? Hmmm.. Or should I study for my Maths for tomorrow paper? Argh, feeling so damn sucks right now. So many things to study. 24 hours is not enough for me!!

Jessica Simpson - For Your Love

You are every part of me
And with every breath I take
Your love will light my way
And for every day I live
The promise that I made
Is I will never let you go babe
 
I swear I never knew love like this before
And for everything you are
I gotta make you know
For your love
 
And I'd give anything for your love
Cause baby I'd never make it alone
And forever I'll stand by your side
I just gotta make you see yeah
I lonely live... for your love
When I was running out of faith
You still believed in me
And never let me fall
And the times I lost my way
You're the one who held me up
And brought me through it all
 
I swear I never saw it like this before
Cause baby with your love you gave me
The reason to go on
And for your love
And I'd give anything for your love
Cause baby I'd never make it alone
And forever I'll stand by your side

I just gotta make you see yeah
I lonely live... for your love
When I was running out of faith
You still believed in me
And never let me fall
And the times I lost my way
You're the one who held me up
And brought me through it all
 
And everything I am
And all that I could be
Would mean nothing now
If you're not with me
Shinin' your light on me
When night is closing in
When I was weak
You were the one who made me strong
You gave me faith to carry on
 
And I'd give anything for your love
Cause baby I'd never make it alone
And forever I'll stand by your side
I just gotta make you see yeah
I lonely live.. for your love
When I was running out of faith
You still believed in me
And never let me fall
And the times i lost my way
You're the one who held me up
And brought me through it all

i'mDAman: Ok, Hi ong. Right?
hunnie: Thanks hunnie.. =)
eThElYn: Oh hi mei nu~ What happen to your blog? Look like being disturb by some boliaos out there? Jealous you for being so pretty? *Muahha*


Got this asshole call from this number. 92967831 Then he said he want make friends. I was like who the fuck that gave him my number. I got so fucking piss off. Noon time my mood really damn down, then he came about to "fuck" my mood up.
DAMN! Then not long ago, receieve SMS from him. Then he said he want make friends. Oh well, I just screw him off! Hello!? Don't treat girls as some TOYS that you guys pass the numbers around just to make your HP number MORE GIRLS NUMBER! So just FUCK OFF!!!!
Anyone really boliao, feel free to call this asshole at 92967831 I care? Doubt so. Call and screw him upside down! AssholEEEEEEEeeeeeeeee



Just reach home not long. Feeling so damn tired. Really.. My eyes are so heavy now, I want to sleep.. I still wonder how long can I be holding on? *sigh* A little bit down, wanna be left alone. Can anyone feel my pain? The pain that I'm feeling?
Woke up at 0645 after a "nap" I can consider, shower and head school. Drag myself there. Surprisly during silent reading I didn't fall asleep. Trying to read my book to maintain my eyes open.. Time pass so fast, recess come. Hate it. No idea what to eat is the most cruel thing I can be doing to my tummy.. Ate 4 pieces of bread during lessons, 1 plate of rice during recess and a pack of rice after school. Not planning to eat during recess but my mouth is itchy.
Ask Michelle what to eat, she suggested Malay store. Head towards there to find Maziah[Bitch] she's buying her food. Bought mine too. Alright, the food not bad, but just abit spicy. =( I hate spicy food.
Kinda lame during Chemistry lesson. Mrs Yeoh keep saying about Reuse, Recycle and Reduce. Not only that, SAVE THE WORLD. -_-" And that's not the end, she said :"If your class having BBQ, first thing invite Mrs Yeoh, 2nd don't use plastic plates. Use paper plates." Then everyone was like -_-"Not only that, she also said about eating Mac. She said ask the person not to wrap the food up. Ok that's lame. She's nice after all, but sometime just don't like her.
Feeling so down. No more afternoon naps for me. Gonna start studying early in the morning. So that I can sleep well at night. I hope I will control it. *sigh* Feeling so empty now..
PLEASE DON'T GIVE ME A FUCKING MISS CALL! YOU KNOW WHO THE FUCK YOU ARE!! I just hate it. Called and hang up. So damn dulan. So what if you're looking for me? Since you're looking for me, don't hang up. Damn the fucking person. So what if I call back and giving me those fucking excuess of pressing the damn wrong button. Ass.. Just craps! So fuck off! And kiss your mum's ass. Big fuck with free incoming?
Sorry, just terrible mood swing.. =( Anyway, taken this photo early in the morning.. Look like xiao mei, I'm just tired..

That's me taking my lunch at class with "ta bao"

Trying to smile I guess..

Gosh, where are we looking at?

Darren and KaiSheng having their lunch too..

Oh well, this is Ong's drawing.


lingg: Don't ever talk about that picture.. The one and only picture taken with ah gong.. How I wish that I am by his side right now.. At this moment.. Where his hand is on my head. Telling me not to give up, giving me the warmest hug that I deserve.. I want to find ah gong.. Wanna go to the place where he is now.. ='(
Hunnie: I'm sorry. Just some mood swing. Wanna be left alone. No idea why I cried when I listen to Lin Jun Jie - Hui You Na Mo Yi Tian. Maybe I just miss ah gong too much..


Its raining in my heart, can anyone feel my pain?





Going to bed now. I suppose. Offline le.. *Struggling* The feeling so cold. Didn't switch on air-con. Cause I can live without it. I love my house, cause it's still so cold. Stepping onto the cold floor at 4am. The feeling so great.
Force myself out of the bed to study. Didn't do much. My eyes are so heavy now. Although is like 0510 only. Woke up for 1hr 1omins. I'm feeling sick. How long can I be holding on? I don't know. What tomorrow gonna be? I have no idea too. I only know I'm not well. *Sigh*
Hate tomorrow. I hate wednesday.. Chinese test, Physics test and Social Studies test as well. How can I hold on? Already give up Chinese. Chinese is not in my study time table. And I hope everything still work out there[time table].
Hate myself damn much. For setting myself with "good game" at the end of my life. Giving up Science. Struggling like hell now. I swear, I did give my best. But always can't make it. Some sucky feelings I have now.. *shrug* hate it..



Macfreak (Daniel): Thanks. =)
lingg: Got see my kor before meh? hahaZ~


Feeling so damn tired. Argh, just hate school that much. REAL MUCH! Studies ruin my life. =( Will be missing in action for sometime ba.. Will update blog, but not onto chatting. Anything just give me a call ba. I gonna get my ass down to plan my timetable for August. Time is running SHORT and I'm lost!
Wake up this morning by hunnie. Thanks gurl~ Love you *muacks* Although having more then 1/2 the mind of not going to school. So tired.. Didn't sleep well last night, my neck can't turn to the left. = Stupid pillow.. Keep running away. =(
Went to school, feeling so sucks, so sick. I want to go home!! I hate monday! Monday blue. First period was Maths. Argh, reach class, everyone was copying homework. I was staring at no where. Then Maths teacher keep kpkb. Hate it. Spoilt my day. Getting so pek chek when he teach, and nothing goes into my head. Hate it man..! =(
Didn't pay attention to much things happening in class. Especially Physics. My mind totally empty although it's the 3rd period of the day. History another boring lesson. Although she gave us hints on the topics that will come out for O's, I don't have any interest with it. Feeling so tired.. Really very tired.. Social studies was more worst. Staring into space. Looking at no where. Dreaming of my pillow and my bed. It make me drooL~
After recess was English. Kelvin was the one doing it. I copy his work. Oh well, seriously I hate English. No idea why must put English as the main focus of studies. If can choose, I rather put Maths first. =D Chemistry after English. Doing Science practical. Nothing much happening. Just that I think my experience didn't work out. No reaction for Limewater, lighted spilt or even glowing flame. -.-" My friend's limewater turns chalky. Oh well..
Kelvin suck big time!! =( He just pierce his lips!! I want to have more piercing!! I only have belly and ears done with enlargement.. He got lips and tounge.. I don't care~ Where should I pierce? I really don't know..
Feeling so damn tired right now even though I just took hours of nap without anyone calling/SMS me. I wanna be left alone somehow.. Feeling tired, feeling lost. Already make up my mind being left alone. Hunnie was really shock with it. Oh well, hunnie, I mean what I said here. =) I hope I won't regret with what I said. But I know myself too well. Emotions and stuffs I can't control that well. Although I still need someone to guide me along with the path that I going to take next time..


I wasn't there on that day. I think is kinda long ago de ba. Miss me out. So I paste myself there. Happy family picture. =D

Photocopy out? You decided. =)  
 

sharon: Both of us are just friends. Anyway, I didn't talk about his name here at all. =) So you call just call him, "him" Nothing much will happen anyway. As I've already made up my mind of being single for sometime. A very ren xing decision, but I still go with what my heart says so.
hunnie: I always miss you soooOOooo much. You should know me well.. Inside and outside out.
lingg: As requested. The picture of my brother is up. =)
weiwei: Hey, I though you forget about me le.  Anyway, I'm doing great I suppose. MIA for Sh!n's forums for some time. I think studies is stressing me out. I hate those sucky feelings. Found myself with someone new? I doubt so. I already said I wanna be single.. Till.. I don't know.. When my heart tell me that he's the perfect one. I hate those breaking up and tearing up my heart into millions pieces. He[you should know who] hurt me so damn much, it's hard to get my heart back to where it used to be..

I hate myself for making this decision. Might be unfair to myself or even the people who loves me. I have enough of everything. My heart already numb. Ma mu le.. =l No one can enter anymore. I just wanna be left alone somehow..







Went to my uncle house just now. Being pester by him don't know for how long! Hahaz, but anyway I enjoy myself just now. :D He har, keep asking me to go over to his place. Then said that granny miss me alot. Craps again. -.-"
Took alot of pictures because I'm wearing skirt. Yeah, jeans SKIRT. Very zhi lian :x forgive me wor =P

Group picture. My cousin[back] my sister, my dad and my cousin!

Here are the MJ queens! *lol* My mum[fat fat de] My aunt my granny and my other aunt. Oh well, my uncle block my auntie. :x

My dad trying to rape this fellow. *lol*


My cousin and me *thumbs up*


This taken with my phone.

She's damn tall. That's all I can say. Marc, want to know her? She's 1.8m *LOL* suits you well.. Not like me, shorty =( But she's only 14? :x There, can see!?

Trying to take shot of another cosin, but miss it!

There he goes. =D Another tall fellow. Hitting 1.8m too.. But the girl taller, yet younger. =D

My sucky uncle. -.-"

Oh well, she love Xu Chen Mei too much!

MUAHAHHAHAS! That's what lamers like them will be doing..


That's all folks!! :D
sharon: You like that say I will shy de! But both of us are just friends. =D


Yesterday don't have any time to update my blog. Reach home at around 11? So damn tired. Have a shower and head to bed. :x
Woke up at 0630 on a SATURDAY MORNING!! -_-" Head to school for REP test. Was walking half way to school, and it RAINS! I'm TOTALLY WET!! SOAK WET!! My shoe, my socks.. ARgh.. Pissing me off.. Was shivering when I'm doing my test.. The questions were still ok, when it come to Vocab, it kills me! Damn, SMSed Pak Hong, but he only know 1 answer. Then Kelvin SMSed Ong for answer. But I'm wearing Ong's sweater with the HP at his pocket. Then I asked Kelvin "Eh, ni SMSed Ong ar?" "Ni zhe mo zhi dao?" He said. "Ni kan, ta de tian hua zai wo zhe li." Then he was about to bang the wall. *lol* Then Kelvin SMSed Marcus. *lol* Marcus HP didn't set silent. HaHaz..
After the test, head stright home. And planning to sleep for awhile. Then Eugene dar SMSed me. Inform me about the change of time.
-_-" In the end I didn't sleep at all. Shower, change and head out. Reach town at 1230. ITS SO EARLY!!!
Reach Cine, then he said have to wait for them to start up everything. Then they keep bringing in and out of the things. It's going to rain anytime. But in the end didn't rain at all -.-" Finally he called me. Said he already on his way to meet me. Hahaz, I'm not alone anymore. Because of this PIG still sleeping when I'm already on the train. :x
Then head towards Far East for breakfast cum lunch. Then saw Sandy? Uh huh.. Saw her at Level 1, then saw her at top floor. -.-" After lunch, head towards Kinokuya[Orchand].. To shop for papers for my art. In the end, the stuffs that they have there is so DAMN limited.
No choice, head towards Bugis by bus. :x Watch the time slot for movies. But was like err... Damn sucky? *LOL* Bought the papers for my paper cut. 20++ pieces consider little leh. Then he said "Wah, zhe mo duo" I was wondering, alot meh? Then walk to Shaw Tower to see time slot again. In the end none of the shows we like. He walked so fast that I can't catch. ARgh, and ended up this stupid girl here hit something. =( Blue black le lah.. Dashing across the road. Wah piang. I've no idea will I die. Nono, should be will I come home alife. :x Was on the road, the don't know why he start to talk about him! -_-" He said, if he message me in MSN will I melt my heart? This question block my brain. I said "Na li hui, wo yi ding hui kp de lor. wo de xin bu hui melt de lah, ben zhu" Something that I will do? I don't know.. =
Head towards Suntec. Dash the road again -.-" Wanted to watch I-robort? Then in the end, first few rows. HeLL~ Didn't watch again. Walk towards Bus Stop.
Go back to Town again. Town again. The moment I alight from bus, Suzi called me. :x Aww~~ My Choir Senior~ Hahaz, chatted awhile then left le. Walk all the way from Orchard MRT back to Somerset MRT.. Then went to Centerpoint to look for Elena.
She got shock man. Hahaz, chatted awhile then head towards MRT. Sat down there. Miss a couple of trains. Too crowded. Lazy to squeeze in. :x Playing with his phone. Hahaz, Tom & Jerry? *lol*
Reach Marina Bay. Hahaz, with pestering and stuffs to "beg" him go down for Jasmine birthday celebration. Reach there, both of us were late. Then everyone wore black EXCEPT ME!! Yellow-orange. Hmmm.. Kinda extra. *lol* Eat until 9 ba.. William called. HAHAHAHAHHA!! HE SURE LOSS DE!! 3 months single[That was yesterday] He said if happen can over 3 months he will treat me meal! *lol* He loss le.. Muahaha.. Then if another 3 more months, he sure die de.. Hmm.. Make up my mind, gonna stay for single till O's over. Even if someone come along and make me touch, I still be single. =)
Then left le. Jasmine is so cute. She said:" You never know what happen tomorrow. Maybe both of you will get together." I was like -___________________-" Was on the way to toilet, saw Jamie. Hahaz, she was kinda surprise. =)
When I came out from toilet, I saw Jessie and Jasmine. *lol* Then before I left the toilet, Jessie kiss me!! *shY* She really touch my cheek! :x Squeeze in the damn bus. So crowded. But I manage to find a seat. Yeah, just for me. Hahaz, the people inside the bus were so damn cute. *lol* Although I don't know them at all. Hmmm.. One of them asked if that's the bus stop to alight? Then she was hurry standing up and trying to move out. Then her friends ask her to sit down and don't so kan chiong. *LOL* Then she ll she sit down. :x Both of us were laughing out loud!
Hmmm... On bus, on seats, on train he's always the one who pull me. If not I'm not gonna move anyway. :x Reach home, shower and sleep. Was about to enter lala-land, he called. -_-" Chatted awhile and I doze off.. :x
Pictures pictures!!!
Me, Jessie & Jasmine

Jessie & Jasmine

Jessie & me

HAHAHAHA!! This was what I ate yesterday! I win!! *lol*

Background killer & side view killer. *lol*



HAHA, Zi lian de nu ren!! :x Look at my tired face.. =(


Woke up this morning, feeling so tired. Mummy called. Ask me to pack my brother room and vacumm the floor and mop the ass floor. Was dragging myself out of the bed. And went cleaning. Argh, she called again. I ask her why. She said that granny's coming over that's why I have to clean. Reasonable right?
I though granny coming over to my place. In the end she say nope. She's going to uncle's place. That's why my sister have to go down to dad shop. Hmmm... Then I ah ga know le. She's going over to uncle place to play MJ!! -_-" Play MJ say ma. No need to take granny as an excues. Hahaz, my sister also agree..
Alright gonna go to pack mop the floor. Done with packing and vacumm the floor. =]
Andy: I know why mummy so bad mood yesterday. Cause yesterday was sunday. My brother can't book out. That's why she KPKB!! :x
i'mDAman!: Eugene DAR!! *lol* Right?
han quan: Haha, disturb? You should read more man! Long time didn't see you leh. How's life?
lingg: Hahaz, don't sad sad leh.. I so shY!! :x







Nothing much happen today. Just that the art teacher still SUCKS!! I swear he really SUCKS!!! #*$&*@( I rush like hell, but don't bother to bring to school. He didn't even ask me about it! -_-" Damn him. I just ask him about the colors go with my paper cut, he said "Hmm yah.. Nice" Like that only. Then he didn't even talk about the boards! *Puis*
Before art, I saw my favourite PE teacher! Mr William Ho. Hahaz, he asked me "Hey Ebel, so how? Feeling better?" Aww.. It just melt my heart. =D~ Although he only teach me for 1 year, which is 4 years ago, I still treat him as the best teacher I've ever encounter. :x
During Maths lesson, Kelvin and I were so lame. Table so damn messy. With 2 water bottles on the table, 1 Maths TYS, pencil case, graphs paper.. Already very pack, he still put the stupid art board on the table -.-" Not only that, we even took out our breakfast and eat. *lol* Enjoy eating breakfast during lesson. It just rox!
After eating, he damn lame. Take out his wax and start styling his hair. -.-" He ar, I trying my best to concentrate, in the end, he keep asking me to open the wax so that he can used it. And close it for him. Not 1 time, but 3 times! -.-"
Anyway, after school went to meet *ahem* He fetch me. Aww.. So paiseh! Then somemore Yixiu, Ong, KaiSheng and Qing An' were with me. So damn paiseh. Then YiXiu shouted:"Hor!! Ebel meet BF.. Ebel's BF come fetch her!!" What the hell -.-"
Taken yesterday when I'm trying my best to sleep at basketball court.

My precious table!! Can you see Xiaohua!? :x with lyrics on the table. Singing with Kelvin everyday. *lol* Anyway, taken with Kelvin's phone.

Bubu: Hey sister. Miss ya soooOOooooOOoooo much! Study hard for your N's wor! :D After my O's we come out nua together alright? Just missing the time bitching around, crapping around with you! *lol*
passerby: Thanks wor. Anyway, this phrase was my friend gave me one. So I think I gonna respect what he said. So I'm not gonna change it. =)
Natalie: Thanks wor. I just hope that I will still hold on.. And make myself in Poly with you. Go to school together, take pictures together, go home together and go town together too.. =(


*breathe in* sigh. So tired right now. I know anytime will collaspe. I'm so freaking tired. And I'm trying to keep myself as awake as possible. Right now arranging all my art work. But I've calaculated, I only have 3.5 boards. 0.5 board more to go. I've no idea when will I able to finish.
I really very tired. O's are like 4months more. I feel like giving up. No mood for everything especially studies. Argh.. Those type of sucky feelings making me SICK! Real sick! Just hate it.. I wonder how am I be able to face it when the date is getting closer and closer. I know that anytime I will be collasping. Will anyone out there be holding onto me?
I'm so tired.. Tired of everything. Who will be out there holding onto me? Asking me not to give up? *Sigh* Don't know what to continue. I;m just so tired.. Hao lei.. Hao lei..


Hmmm.. Didn't really blog much these 2 days. STRESS!!! Hate those sucky feelings. Argh..
Tuesday:
Was raining. Make me drag myself up to go to school. When I  just reach school, feelings so hungry, decided to go to canteen to buy some breakfast for myself. I saw that ass DM. But I ignore.
Then was walking half way, she use the loud speaker and said "The 2 of you, where are you going? The classroom blocks are not this direction. Turn back now." *Sians* breakfast gone. Hahaz, reach class was like shivering like hell.. But manage to get Ong's sweater. Wearing 2 sweater. Can you imaging how cold am I? Gosh..
Even after recess I still feeling that cold. That's why I'm having cold now.. -.-" Making sense? I think so.. Hahaz..
Wednesday:
Nothing much happen ba. But I only know that my art due date are coming!!!! Was rushing my art yesterday till around 3am. -.-" Sigh so tired.
Was trying to concentrate on my work. Some idiot keep message me in MSN. So damn piss off. Argh.. Then not once, but so many times. Was like every hour message me..! Argh.. Then in the end I bth I reply. "Omg. What the hell you want? I trying my best to concentrate on my art. And you here keep message me!!" Then in the end he reply "Oh doing art. How can I help you?" *Muhahahah* in the end I said "Yes you can help me by shutting your mouth up!"
Is not that I want to be rude. Just that I damn pek chek. Fighting with the time, and HE keep message me. So damn pek chek. Pek chek + pek chek = 2pek chek!! >.<"
Finally can't take it anymore. Stop whatever I'm doing and went to bed. Switiching off my laptop and head to my bed. Although I'm really tired, ended up trying my best to sleep. Keep counting "One sheep jumping over the fench meh~~ Two sheeps jumping over the fench meh~~ Three sheeps jumping over the fench meh~~ For sheeps jumping over the fench meh~~ etc...
Thursday:
Wake up by my friend at 6am. Cause I ask him to wake me up when he wakes up. So that I can continue with my art. In the end I'm so tired. I didn't even get up from my bed. And I went to lala-land again until 0645 =X
Today, didn't talk much in school, not enough sleep. Everyone ask if I'm ok. I was like "What the hell?" I'm ok everyone ask. I'm not ok, no one ask. Wonderful classmates. Hahaz.. 
PE teacher didn't came today. But everyone wanna play soccer. Then the girls wanna play netball. My favourite PE teacher asked anyone sick. Stright away I put up my hard. "Report sick Mr Ho."
In the end he said:"Ebel you look sick. Take some rest." *lol* I'm just tired. In the end he said I look sick! Feeling so damn happy, walk to basketball court to take a nap. Was about to go to lala-land, my friend tap me. "Ebel, I help you take your specs, scare later you sit on it." @#$#^$@# Like that how to sleep? About 5mins later, about to step into lala-land. In the end, the stupid ass ball hit my back. *Ouch* I didn't even play I got injured. -.-"
Bloody weather. So hot. I was sleeping on the floor, the floor so cool, and the sun is so HOT!! Like sun-tanning like that. But I think I didn't get tanned ba. -.-" I bth, I called Kelvin. In the end both of us went to canteen to take our breakfast. *lol*
Damn that art teacher. @*#&@&*$^#^%$^@*# I do so much, in the end he didn't even call my name. I was doing my paper cut then he called me. I was thinking "Gosh, dead meat this time" In the end, he said "Hey Ebel, I think this design should go in here. And your paper cut is like going to tear apart, please do something to it."
Argh, in the end he didn't even ask for my boards. -_-" HELL!!!! Not enough sleep somemore.. After school having maths test. Trigo.. Argh, I think my a1 is gone.. =( Firstly, not enough time to complete. Secondly, Kelvin keep copy my work!! -.-" When the answer about to pop out, he called me.. Wth..! Then ended up I pass him my answer sheet and he copy. So if happen I wrong, he will be wrong too.
Head home after that. So here I am blogging. Oh well, I'm so tired. Tomorrow is friday! Yeah! =D~ Saturday going Town I think. Provided my parents didn't kp me *lol* Izwan, Ong, Napat and more performing at 1330. At Sumerset MRT. =D~ Going there to support them! Not forgeting Eugene dar performing at around 1500. Oh well, good luck people!! Tired now.. Eyes can't take it.. Bed calling me.. Lala-land waiting for me..~

Hoobastank - The Reason

I'm not a perfect person
As many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
 
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear
 
I've found a resaon for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is You [x4]
 
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
 
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over newand the reason is you
 
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you


I'm so tired right now. *yawns* is 0216 right now.. My eyes are so heavy. Rushing art now. -_-" Tomorrow will be the due date for 4 a2 boards. Argh, I only have 3 boards. @#&*@^@#@)(!@ Kinda piss out with doing it.
So tired~ argh... So damn piss off. Fuck. MSN that fooker keep message me. I gonna block it!! Since the afternoon I took, keep message me until I damn pek chek. Nama!!!!!!!!!
Hunnie: Miss ya so much
Jess: Sam ar? My work friend.. Under Addecco. =D
Elena: HAha, the previous one you mean? The thinking dont know what shit one? Hahaz, but I prefer this..
Rondeyy: Please don't be lame!! LOL!!


I forget about this picture :x I've being kiss again!! =( This time the lips really touch my cheeks. *blush* Later my face skin died. Skin cancer. =X

Anyway, this is the testimonial Sam wrote for me.. Aww..
I can only say i miss u as a friend..a great friend whos is always there for others but doesn't want others to be there for her when she's in need of a shoulder to cry on... i really miss going out to town and talking crap and all sort of rubbish under the sky. i miss all the taking neoprint with u as it teach me to laugh.i mis all the crappy phone conversations we had at night and i also feel we're drifting apart as friends.. i muz now do my part to be a good friend, to be there for u when u need a shoulder to cry on, a friend to go town with, a friend to go take neos with and friend to u whenever happy or sad.. i will try my best to be all this but will not always be able to do so.. so in advance, i'm sorrry i can't be perfect....
He make me cry.. =(


School was ok today. And early morning everyone already wake up. Cause brother booking in. -.-" Wah, I can't see him for another 3weeks. = Miss him? Hope so? :x My dad sucks. He don't want to send me to school. =( Timing is about the same, but he don't want to send me to school. And my mum sucks too. Prepare breakfast for my brother with maggiee mee, but me? 2 slices of bread with little little peanut butter. =(
Then first period was Maths, as usual, talk rubbish again. Then follow by English. But free periods. Then everyone was like discussing about games and stuffs like that. But I still sleeping, playing with me phone. :x After English was recess, then Chinese. I realise that by the time I came out of toilet the whole block is so empty. Cause everyone already in class. :x I'm late Hahaz, but didn't get any punishments. =D Wah the most boring lesson was actually CHEMISTRY! Lucky I get my ass before 5 minutes, if not I will sure get scolding from her. That stupid teacher, Mrs Yeoh.  Then planning to go to Jam after school. But raining during assembly. Then cancel everything lor. But Ong they all still going down. =X kinda lazy ba. Mostly I'm tired. Aww..
 
I'm sorry for all the pains you've endured
I'm sorry for not caring for you I
'm sorry for making you sad
I'm sorry for not showing u the love you deserved 
I never realise I made you feel bad
I am sorry
Now its too late isn't
So now this smile I wear it everyday
Taking off only when I'im in my room at night
Then I let it all out
My pillow wet from the tears I lie there until I fall asleep
I need to hear you say those words to say once more
So that I could just leave the fake smile at home
And i hate every second I breathe
Beacuse it just proves I can live without you
Please tell me this is not what you wanted P
lease forgive me Say you love me once more
 
Just a poem which I found in Amanda's blog. I find it nice. That's why I paste. No special meaning. =)
 
We're just trying to act cute!! :x Forgive me..

Can see my jiu wor? :x

This is Izwan. Caught red handed for using HP in class. :x

Using the phone take picutes :x
 

Natalie: Hahaz, thanks. :)
Rodneyy: This song is by 3 Doors Down - Here Without You


Hmmm... Didn't blog about yesterday night stuffs. Anyway, was at home rotting anyway till around 6pm ba. Then went out for dinner with parents for my mum's early birthday celebration. As my brother booking in tomorrow. YESH HE'S GONE AND THE ROOM IS MINE!!!
Anyway, dinner at East Coast Park. Wah, the food sucks. Especially the crabs. Although I love to eat crab, but oMG~ The crab is damn big, I see until I want cry sia. So big, lucky only order 1 crab, if 2, I die.. -.-" Trying hard to eat everything.
After that went to walk around East Coast Park. WAH! So breezy leh. :x Then so romantic somemore, but with parents. -.-" After that head towards granny house to see her. So long didn't see her already. haHaz..
After that head home and finish my HW and went to bed. Didn't talk over the phone somehow. Hmm.. Taken some photos yesterday. Trying to act cute I think. *lol*


Trying to make bubble :x

My sister~ I don't look like me :x More mei mei ma? :x
 
Alan: kor~ Haven't watch Spider 2 :x But I don't want to watch. Cause I want watch Mean Girls. =D~ Want watch with me ar? Must book early wor. :x My timetable a bit full.. I not going out after August. Must guai guai study le.. =X
Stranger: Hi. :) You're?




Yesterday post was horrible. Hahaz, I can feel that. Gonna remove some of the stuffs, it's very laggy in my site.
Anyway, I said I want to take a nap before I went out. In the end I didn't even sleep. Hahaz, was on my bed, counting sheeps until 15:30. Hahaz~ I didn't even feel tired. :x So I went to vacumm the floor then bath, change and head out.  Was finding myself a bag and ended up I was late. *lol* Poor boy :x
Suppose to meet him 1700 at Bugis in the end 1645 I still at my house bus-stop. :x He SMSed me asking me which stop I'm in. In the end I said I at my house bus-stop.  *lol* He ended up waiting for me at Bugis. Hahaz, fair le. Tuesday I waited for him, yesterday he waited for me. :D
So we were at Bugis walking towards Shaw Tower. As usual, he walked so fast until I can't catch. Then ask me to dash across the road. -.-" I DON'T WANT TO DIE SO EARLY!!!  Then bought ticket for movie. King Authur. -.-" Bored, I want to sleep. And I fall asleep. :x until the phone ring. "Hello, Nana is it?" What the hell. I already sleep then that fellow called. -.-"Not once but twice!
Alright, the show not bad. That makes me fall asleep. In the first place I don't watch this type of show. And he make me break my record!!! Last movie was Scooby-Doo2! That was around months back? I can't recall anyway. Don't feel like recalling. :x
Then after movie head towards Pasir Ris Park for my chalet. Although I said I don't want to go. :x Then was on bus, one of the ChilliCrap friend SMSed me. Then he said got outing. So I tag along. See more Crappers there. Hahaz, too dark can't even see their face clearly.
Then we went to Chalet. Was there, my parents shock. *LOL* I don't care? Hmmm.. He was accompany me awhile then he left le. Cause he need to rush for the last train. Hahaz.. So that's my day.
Reach home at around 2am. Playing basketball in the middle of the night. :x lame~~


Yesterday after I disconnect, I watch channel 8, then to don't know what program, I only know I'm real bored! That's it.
Waiting for 0000 then head out to chalet to put stuffs. Don't ask me why this time, ask my mum instead. Head there, put the things, went to Changi Village for dinner cum supper. Eat curry fish head that cost only $6? Damn cheap that's what I know. After that finish at around 0115, then went to car, one round around Changi see "babes" ah qua.. Wah, they really make me drool. :x Though was on the way home, instead they went to Loyang Da Pei Gong for some praying because today is Chu Yi?
Reach home around 0200 then chatted over the phone with someone till around 0245. Went to bed, and woke up at 0710 today. I suppose to met my friend for breakfast at 0700. And I didn't get any scolding that's good. =)
Head towards school, had our breakfast there. Then head towards Temask Poly. The file that they gave was the same as last year. And the things that they're talking about is almost the same as last year? That make me feel damn BORED!!! I shall not go in details because it's really that boring.
Taken some lame photos during the break.

Suppose to be 3 of us taking, but don't know what the hell Ong[Center] was doing.

This is me and Izwan. Our lead singer for the whole class. His voice is damn power.

This is our vice chairman. Then the BF is Izwan.

We are just bored.

OMG He's trying to KISS ME!!! *shY*

My xiao shuai shuai. He's actually sitting next to Ong, and Ong was just beside me.  :D I don't think he know I took this picture until I show him.

Lame Ong

This Alfiyan.
That's all for today. I'm tired. Argh, not going chalet later I think. Gonna take a nap now, wake up, just head out even they give me a fucking ass scold. Damn hell. Just hate this fucking ass house. Fuck. This month is July. After July gonna be a 24/7 good girl, staying at home studying. Fuck, they don't even apprecaite what I've done. Who cares what happen next?
Don't give a damn hell about them.. Argh.. I just hate this house! I can't wait till I'm 18 and get out of this house and LEAVE THEM!!!


I should make it short. Right now I'm fighting with the time. My brother pass and now he on his way home. Hahaz, congrats. But poor me, won't be that able to online as often. =( Sad.
Another boring day, rot at school. Studies ruin my life eh? First period was Silent reading. Reading Straits Time. Then 1/2 way through got the NE thing. Then my classmates were singing. Playing muscial chair? Hahaz, lame. -.-" After that Maths for 2 periods. Then English. Oh well, English is really that boring lor. Playing guessing game? Hahaz, That's very lame. Argh.. Waste time only man. Should be doing some compo or compre. >.<"
2 periods of art, that perfume teacher didn't come. So relief by Chemistry teacher. But still in art room doing. I only cut abit, cause no one bother to take the keys. We have to wait until that teacher come.
Recess then Chinese. After that head towards home to take a short nap. I called Andy to wake me up at 2pm. In the end I don't know what the hell I said and I went back to sleep. :x Sleep until around 5plus. Then use net till now. Planning to take dinner, but since brother called, hopefully he remember my dinner. =D If he don't, I will hate him. *promise*
Tomorrow going to TP, oh well, gonna be bored. Both of the bitches are going over to Sentosa. I planning to go, but its raining seasons. Somemore I having chalet. Argh, >.<" Now how? I also don't know. Both I also want to go, but lazy leh. Somemore finish TP visit at around 12noon? Then reach home change all that head towards Sentosa at around 2? Come out around evening time to rush for chalet? Like that meh? Tired leh.
*maysze: My naval I pierce myself :x so is FOC? Hahaz, I only bought the piercing needle at $7 at craft[TM].
Hunnie: Sorry, just now didn't reply your message I was sleeping. :x Anyway that sucko YuMing pass, means that he won't be going camp until other notices. Argh, I won't be online to talk to you anymore and I won't be able to sleep at his room!! *cries*


Someone request to change blog song, so I've change it. 3 Doors Down - Here Without You

Bored. Today is damn bored. Lucky time pass so fast. Anyway, first period was CME. Then teacher came in abit late, then talk awhile bye bye. Then PE. RAINING!! =( Aww.. In the end only have 1 period of PE instead of 2. Our school is so small, can only have 1 class using the hall, 1 class using the gym. No other places for PE le. -.-"
Anyway, during PE was playing floor ball with my guy classmates. THEY SUCK!! They don't even treat me like a girl, I sucks too. I don't even treat myself as a girl. Playing rough with them. Muahahas :x They ramp me, I ramp them. Push here push there. Tio whack =( HahaZ, sucks lah. -.-" But fun. =D~ Enjoy so much, sweat alot too. I guess gonna maintain my weight ba. =D
After that was having 2 periods of English. Oh well, she talk about irony. That's makes me understand about Paper 2 more. =D~ If not, gonna be having a hard time to understand what the author trying to bring the message forward to this blur girl here.
After that was Social Studies, nothing much happen, but she keep talking about Source Based questions. In the end I realise that next year O's Switerzland will be out for the topic. THAT'S DAMN NICE! Cause Swiss is a very hard topic to understand. Having 4 language in their country, and 26 don't know what. :x *lol*
Then recess, having a damn hard time to find a table. Firstly was early for recess, and canteen was so damn pack! -.-" Not only that, the rain fault!! make all the chairs wet. Then most of the chairs kanna. 6 seats become 4 seats. Then everyone have to spilt up table used. -_-"
Walk pass HuiLing, what the fuck? She keep staring at my ear. Smlj? Look gross or what fuck? Just hate people who keep staring at that thiNG! Although it is meant to be seen and look and appreciate, but why she give me those ass look? :x
4 periods of art, doing nothing but nuaing. Oh no, next week gonna hand in 4 boards. -_-" If I didn't do anything this week, I be in deep trouble!! HELP!! :x GOnna have art extra class after school. Oh well, the teacher is damn LAME and he sucks! Spray mount finish already, still ask us to stay back and do art. What the hell? No spray mount how to do paper cutting? No brain. TOOT!!!
After school rush towards bus stop and took bus home. Hahaz, 2 stops only and I'm lazy =X The air con so damn shiok.. Aww.. =D~ Not squeezy too. Cause the bus came at around 1350. Usually took 1400 bus sure very crowded and squeezy..
Haiz, have no idea what happen to me. When Hunnie send me MMS, I saw her cute cousin face. She's trying her best to cheer me up. Although I didn't tell her what happen to me. I trying my best to smile. But the MMS attach with Lin Jun Jie - Dong Jie midi. Haiz. Tears run down.
Yesterday night also don't know what happen to me. Was talking to over the phone with someone. Then that wasn't the real me. I didn't talk much. I just keep quiet. Hang up at 0000, SMS Bitch to wish her happy birthday, and was on my bed. Looking at the phone, trying my best to press "delete" in my phone's gallary. But my finger was not moving. No idea why tears came down.
SMSed delun daddy instead. Told him what happen, in the end he said me silly. Haiz, I think I really silly ba. Most of my friends are attach, just me single. The sucky feelings I hate it. Argh.. Those break downs that I have. Just then when I need a warm hug, no one is hugging me except hunnie and delun daddy. I don't know why..
I know I'm not ok, but why am I putting on a smile to prove that I'm okay? I know I can't forget him, why am I flirting around to prove that I'm okay? He's deep down inside my heart, why am I forcing myself to do those things that I don't want to do!? Haiz.. Never mind about me.. Don't tag about this thing ba.. Hunnie, sorry. =( he came up my mind again.
Stephie: Sorry, I'm someone without feelings. I can't feel the pain. That's why I don't think that's painful. I enlarge my ear with blood flowing down, but I feel that that's nothing. Not painful at all. I only can feel heartahce.
Jasmine(taka's gf): I mean Taka got the wrong idea about me and my friend that day. Duhz..

HAPPY SWEET 17TH


BIRTHDAY BITCHY


MAZIAH


Taken this picture during PE lesson. First period PE took de. I'm bored.

3 Doors Down - Here Without You
A hundred days had made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lights had made me colder
And I don't think I can look at this the same
But all the miles had separate
They disappeared now when I'm dreaming of your face

I'm here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight it's only you and me

The miles just keep rolling as the people either way to say hello
I hear this life is overrated but I hope it gets better as we go

I'm here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it's only you and me

Everything I know, and anywhere I go
It gets hard but it won't take away my love
And when the last one falls, when it's all said and done
it get hard but it won't take away my love

I'm here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it's only you and me

I'm here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind
I'think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams
But tonight girl it's only you and me

Just woke up. Slept at around 1900 ba.. tossing myself at bed for a long time before I went to lala-land.. *yawns*
Anyway, woke up this morning at 1000? Then switch on laptop, then play awhile before I went for shower and head to school. Reach school at around 1130[reporting time was 1120] but in the end the teacher came at 1145. -.-" what school is this. Hahaz, having everyone to walk in to school at 1130. Not only that, some of my friends came during the last 2 lessons.
When school over, head towards TM for lunch with Michelle and Maggie. Hmmm... Ate Pizza Hut. Hahaz, although I just ate pizza yesterday with Andy. Sit down there, 3 of us. Ate till around 4 plus ba. THE ATTITUDE THERE SIMPLY SUCKS!!! Actually the cashier still ok, but those serving one, damn sucks lor. They can be putting the plates and the pizza down with those lan-lan attitude. *Pui* Like we owe them one.
After that went to 77th Street to look for ear-rings. GOSH! I saw this naval stud, so nice!! =D Heart shape de, around $20 over. Then hor, is a heart shape stud, with those heart shape coming down. AWw.. SO NICE!!! [I'm very jialat in describing] :x
Then one of them say "Nice also no use, you wear inside who will see!?" Damn, isn't that what that **** said too? Hell, why everyone said that!? #&$^@*#(@)(#*@$^#&$ Go Sentosa got people sure see de ma.. =_="
Then went to Craft, bought this so-called enlarger. So nice. The one that I aim for when I was with daddy at Bugis. The person is so damn kawaii. He said "If you want enlarge to big big, I teach you, put oil at the stud, then slowly push in. Not pain one." I didn't try, I still let time do everything. Slowly push in ba. :D
Hmmm.. I told Andy that I went to Pizza hut and eat, he said "Go home and weigh you weight, see got increase anot?" ISN'T THAT INSULTING!!! Ok, don't care about this guy.
Went to bed after that. Woke up with a scream. Tearing like hell.. Dream about my Grandpa. Haiz =( i swear in my memories i didnt saw this sceen. He came my dad shop, he complain that he feeling very hot. Granny was there too.. Then grandpa went in my dad shop to take a nap. Not long later, he came out. He complain he got headahce. I ask him why, he said he had no idea to. I help him massage, he said that he's feeling better and shiok. Didn't manage to continue the dream, and woke up crying.. Haiz, don't talk about that le.. Anyway, this is the sucky me.. Hunnie say very cute. -.-"

Took when I was talking to her just now.

Taken before I went to bed.

PUNKIE ME!! :x


Taken yesterday. Oh well, lady looking girl? :x Hunnie say so nice. Andy say very mature, then I think very auntie. -.-" My cousin who saw me yesterday said very nice, very lady. Oh well, auntie me!! -.-" Thanks Buddy for helping me to choose. *lol*

Oh well, just bored, please forgive. This is what we ate. That's why I took it home! :x Just to be a boliao me..
alan kor: The performance was at Victoria Concert Hall yesterday. Organise by my school, raising money for the School Pocket Money Fund. We raise $12,000 yesterday. :D
MaySze: It's good that you understand what I've said. Hope that you will feel better le ba. Don't cry, not worth alright.. =]

HAPPY SWEET 18TH


BIRTHDAY WILLIAM


BF!!


Feeling so tired right now. Although I did sleep before I went for that concert.
Went to shower at 1600 and prepare + talking to xiao shuai shuai. Crapping all the way, by the time I'm done was around 1715. And I suppose to meet my classmate at 1700? *lol*
Hmmm.. Met some other friends at DownTown East for dinner. They were there to play pool. In the end I join them for a game. Hahaz, that's lame. :x Although I don't know how to play, but still ok ba. Still trying. :x
Head towards BK to eat. Then crapping around. By the time we leave BK was around 1830. So I called Andy to check if he's done. In the end no respond. -_-" Went to take train towards Raffles Place. Called him again, he didn't pick up. By the time he pick up, I was at Aljunied waiting for him. Waited for 1/2 hour for this VAIN GUY!! >.<" Angry like hell. But lucky the day was cool, so didn't get "burst" out. *lol*
Reach Raffles Place at around 1940, then saw my cousin.. Aww.. I told Andy that she will sure ask me about if Andy is my BF. Hahaz, that's lame. And she really did! She SMSed me after sometime later. :x Reach VCH[Victoria Concert Hall] at around 1950, saw my Xiao Shuai Shuai at main gate :D Then went up to look for our seats. Then everyone is gossping about me and Andy. =$ Hahaz..
Then Maggie called. She told me about Jia Lin. I though this girl suppose to go to England to study? Haha, liar!!!! In the end she saw us, she just act as if she didn't saw us. I was planning to approach her to screw her off. But in time, Miss Goh went over. Alright, don't talk about her. >.<"
The perfomance was kinda nice. Funny.. But to be frank, Andy and I don't understand what they were talking and acting *LOL* He nearly fall asleep~ :x HahaZ.. When the thing over, we keep thinking where to go for dinner. Finally decided to go to Suntec to eat. Reach the overhead bridge, saw Taka and his GF, jas. Hahaz, so loving. Envy wor.. I think he got the wrong idea ba. Oh well, who careS? *lol*
Went for dinner then head towards home. That's lame. At MRT saw my XIAO SHUAI SHUAI AGAIN!! :x *lol* Then Andy and I keep talking about xiao shuai shuai and that group of friends, crapping around. Hahas.. Alot of things happen, but lazy update. =X i'm tired. right now.. *yawns* i think i won't be waiting for his call ba.. Kinda tired leh..
Oh well, read some blogs. Then realise that someone's blog is like mine? Oh man, I hate it. Like copy mine. Not lay out, but those tiny details. Like putting pictures and those things that I blog and stuffs like that. Hate it. >.<"
HUNNIE I MISS YOU TOO!!!! :D~~~

*yawns* just woke up. The feeling is so great! :D~
Woke up this morning at 0630, went for shower, and head towards school. Reach school the first period was Silent Reading, sit there reading the book. The book that I've borrow from Izyan. Hmmm.. The book not bad, kinda worth reading.
Is about a guy and his life. Just like everyday reading blog. The first entry was sad, his good friend pass away, then his second entry was lame. Talk about his family. Then the sister cry guy. Then some times later her sister got another bf. There one sentence that I think is indirect insulting. *lol* "And my mom was quiet. And that was that. A month later, my sister met another boy and started playing happy records again. And my dad kept working. And mom kept sweeping. And my brother kept fixing his Camaro. That is, until he left for college at the beginning of the summer."
After that, head back towards class. First lesson was actually HISTORY!! -_-" The teacher just sucks. *lol* 4/2 again? Hahaz, Kelvin actually fall asleep during her lesson then she said that she's not going to care about our class anymore. That's nothing new, I've no idea how many times she said that. And she also said that "Why must I be the one teaching when you guys are not willingly to learn? You all change alot. N level you all willingly to work hard and strike for it, this time O level you all don't even care. What happen? You all are working hard in the begining of the year and right now you all are slacking!"
Nothing much to comment about her lessons. Hahaz.. Hmmmm, after that was English. Was fun. Actually have a role to play in class. Well, everyone will have to. Each group was given a role to play, then everyone has to act out. That's lame, but fun. Hahaz, time pass so fast. Then everyone was like laughing none stop. Really have a great laugh about it. *lol*
Anyway, taken this picture early this morning in class. While waiting for History teacher to come.

And this picture was taken on 10th July 2004. At around 0035. -_-" Just reach home not long, then take this picture. Because someone ask me to do that? And keep pester me about it. I love it, cause of the very white effect. Hahaz, "White Angel?" Ignore the black bra!! :X


Having flu right now. So who is gonna pass me some tissue paper? -.-"
Was over the phone yesterday till 1+? Hmmm.. Fun conversation with that person. *lol* Then went to lala land. Woke up at 0640 this morning. Went for shower, and head towards school. Such a boring day because I hate the first period to be MATHS! The moment I step into class, everyone was busy copying homework. Oh well, lame.. Realise that I didn't do History, Chemistry and Physics. Lucky I do maths. During Maths lesson was busy copying Chemistry.
Physics can really hack care. Was only like 35 mins class, then everyone don't even bother to do. The teacher really sucks one lor. :x Reach physics lab, realise that the door wasn't open. We waited outside for around 15mins? Let with 20mins for the class. Then everyone was trying their best to talk cock with the teacher. Trying to ask him about tomorrow Public Perfomance[Cause he's the overall incharge]. But in the end was like he don't even care?
After that was Chinese. Wah sianz. Start to study B book already. Then the first topic was about some old story, very tearful. Aww.. Then teacher ended up talking about flings? *LOL* "Bu yao luan luan lai, wei ni zou de dong xi fu zhe" Lame..
History after that, was kinda bored. Aww.. Cause didn't do anything at all? I hope I get my ass later to do. Hahas, then she ended up giving us those bochup attitude. Ended up having her to say "You all don't care why must I care? This will the attitude that I going to give you guys. You all already finish all the topics, my 4/2 haven't even finish yet they are more clever then you" Wah sian, everytime she say 4/2 4/2 -_-" Hate it.
Chemistry lesson was really very bored. -_-" Having 2 periods, ended up having 1 period trying my best to keep my eyes open. Because she's talking about ORGANIC CHEMISTRY!! -_-" Alkane, alkene that topic. Aww.. So bored, but lucky we only have 2 pages left for that alkene, and we head towards alcohol.. :D My eyes open real big when she talk about that. Talking about beers, wines.. WOW =D
Then she continue talking about SuperTeen. I just look down on the floor, trying my best not to recall about SuperTeen. I turn to switch off mode of myself and ended up drawing the table.
*Sigh* Oral cannot make it. Don't talk about it le ba..
Tomorrow will be Public Performance. Kinda excited about it. =) And I still have no idea what to wear tomorrow. Aww, headache.. Hmmm.. Tomorrow is a short day for me! =D School finish at 1025am!! Can come home and SLEEP till I SONG!! Which means tonight won't be sleeping so early. And the day after tomorrow[Wednesday] reporting time will be 11am =D I LOVE GREENVIEW!! [For now only] So, when my real prince will come along?
Andy: owe you one boxer first. When I see nice boxer, I promise to get for you alright? =) And, try to lower down your price, $100 is still very expensive to pao you leh. :X
Natalie: this saturday, 17th July 2004 going TP!!! I think is TCC. For Maths don't know what shit. >.<" Time is 9am to 12noon? After that will be going home by ourself. Hmmm, and I'm sure that someday he will regret like what I regret last time. And he's wronG :P
Sharon: who you really are? Care to intro?
Hunnie your Ebel is always a biG girl. Just that you never notice about it :X And err.. Sorry this afternoon you message me I was sleeping like a piG :(

Though I am a failure in love
But good friends reached out their hands
Telling me, "I know you can"
Take my hand and up I stand
Knowing he'll never be mine again
Though love's there but so is pain
People say that time will heal
But time can't control how I feel
I need your love to keep me breathing
Without your love I don't feel like living
As time passes, my heart is heal
But scars remain and its hard to conceal
Kisses and hugs can only be reviewed
By the memories that's left so few
Why is my love still in a mess?
I always thought that God's giving me a test
But the tests seems never end
Breaking my heart more and yet to mend
Is my life gonna be like this forever?
I couldn't see anything cause love is blind
I've already done my best
But my hopes begin getting lesser and lesser
My heart still can't get back to its little nest
So tired, I think I really needs a rest

Lin Jun Jie - Endless Road. (English Version of Hai Pa)

The truth is tearing up my heart
I can't recognize this place
The endless road without a stop sign
Can't even find a stranger this time
Why am i still holding back my tears
In this loneliness there's nothing to fear
Every chord still seems a wonder
How we could be together
Every time i ask if this would be the last
Why am i still talking to myself
Hoping you will have the keys to my cell
Every song might calm the weather but it just draws me deeper
How do i get out of this I think i never will
A crystal forming in the eye Maybe this would be the last
The winding pathdown my face
Till i begin to taste the bitternessinside

Another nuaing day. Woke up at around 11plus, then use net awhile. Chatted with some CC people. And I realise that I miss out alot. =X Yesterday got outing, no one called. Cause I didn't went to CC for some time? :x
Went to dad shop nua until 6plus. Reach home have my dinner and watch channel 8 until now. The show is damn nice! I tear by the real life story. Oh man. Its about NKF, those kids whereby they can't grow tall and stuff like that. Gosh.. I can't believe it. *Sigh*

Elena: To be frank, I hate you alot last time. About what you've done to him. And I swear that day if he didnt say to let this thing rest, I'm sure both of us won't be good friends now. Cause I've said to myself, I gonna give you one slap. *lol* But now, I think back, maybe he really deserve all these things. To let him know what's the feeling of being toy around..
And I guess what you've said at your blog really make sense. But let it be. I'm alright really alright. =)
Kaini: Oh HI KYLIEEEEEE!! Miss you guys man.. =P Anyway, thanks wor. I'm recovering from that sickness le.. (I think so)
Natalie: Don't worry about me. I do hate myself. For being so BLIND right from the start. My fault still, for knowing this type of guy. *shake head*
Sharon: Hi. I've no idea who are you. But thanks for your concern. I'm really ok now.
Xiang: I'm alright. I no longer angry about him or what. Just that those feelings inside me, make me feel so fark up. And I can't take it. =(
lingg: Thanks girl. I love you too =P Anyway, I'm not angry about it anymore. Have to let go.
hunnie: *hugs tight* hunnie, it's ok for not being by my side. Sometimes I just wanna be left alone rather then talking to someone over the phone. I don't want the surround friends to be worry about me. I need to grow up. I've to learn from my past mistake and prevent myself from making the same mistake again.

*I hope I didn't miss out anyone* Alright everyone, I'm alright, really. (I've no idea how many times have I said "I'm alright" =] *big smile* time to let go everything. No point holding onto someone who doesn't appreciate anything I've done, no one holding onto someone who might not even notice about me or even no point holding onto someone who will even notice about my appearing.
Maybe everything is a game set up by him. Maybe he's just angry over stuffs I've done, and whatever I've do. I don't care about it anymore. He's no longer mine, and I'm no longer his. He goes his way, I shall continue my life to the journey to heaven. Whereby no one will longer hurt me..
Time to really let go about everything. Forgive me if I still miss about him. I will let go, just that I need sometime. I won't wait for him, cause it makes me feel stupid and DUMB!! >.<"

Avril Lavigne - Don't Tell Me

You held my hand and walked me home
I know
Why You gave me that kiss it was something
Like this that made me go oh oh
You wiped my tears
Got rid of all my fears
Why did you have to go?
Guess it wasn't enough
To take up some of my love
Gosh it's so hard to trust
Did I not tell you that I'm not like that
Girl the one who gives it all away
Did you think that I was gonna give it up to you
This time
Did you think that that there was something
Else gonna do
And crying
Don't try to tell me what to do
Don't try to tell me what to say
You're better off that way

Don't think that your charm and the fact
That your arm is now around my neck
Will get you in my pants
I'll have to kick your ass
And make you never forget
I'm gonna ask you to stop
Thought I liked you a lot but I'm really upset
(I'm really upset)
So get out of my head
Get off of my bed
Yeah, thats what I said
Did I not tell you that I'm not like that
Girl the one who throws it all away
Did you think that I was gonna give it up to you
This time
Did you think that there was something else gonna do
And cry
Don't try to tell me what to do
Don't try to tell me what to say
You're better off that way

This guilt trip that you put me on
Won't mess me up I've done no wrong
Any thought of you and me have gone away
Did you think that I was gonna give it up to you
This time
Did you think that there was something else
gonna do
Then crying
Don't try to tell me what to do
Don't try to tell me what to say
You're better off that way
Tou're better off that way
Im better off along anyway

Was out with Delun daddy yesterday. I realise that I can't tahan staying at home so we went out. Hmmm... Met him at 5 yesterday, but in the end, this turtle let this princess wait. -.-" What the hell.. Hmmm... No idea why left home yesterday around 1615, and manage to reach there around 1650. This is damn fast, maybe because I didn't miss any bus? Reach the bus stop behind my bus, stright away got bus le. I though I will be late, but in the end someone else is late not me? *lol*
Reach Bugis, shop around.. Went to 77th street and bought some ear-rings.[Actually got 2 only =X *lol*] Then nua nua, look for skirt.. Hmmm.. None were my liking, then went to Kinokuya. SMS was flooded -.-" Was chatting SMS with someone, then SMS with daddy also. *lol* then can you imaging the moment I close my HP, then SMS come again. Everyone keep looking at me. Oh man, I simply love the ring tone.. B.A.D. - Wo De Cuo :X
Then daddy called, he said he outside so I walk out lor. He went to withdraw money. Then we went to eat. Was wondering what to eat. A long time since I've ate Souel Garden, planning to eat this or V8 Cafe. In the end went to eat V8. And the serving SIMPLY JUST SUCKS!!! Alright, this is not the first time I've complain about it. Just went for food, not to see their damn black face.. #^$#&*$@(#@#
Ate Fish & Chip and drank Ice Lemon Tea. Daddy ate damn fast, ended up he's the one waiting for me. Hmmm.. After that waiting for anyone to ask for bill, in the end, no one? Hahaz, I even joked around telling him "ah bo daddy, we like that walk off lor, no one will even notice about it." His reply shock me. "Don't want lah, I good boy.. I don't do this type of things one." *lol* Dinner on daddy again. =X
Went to Bugis street, I bought my skirt!! *jumps around* :D~ After shopping for so bloody long, daddy said this is the nicest. Lucky he didn't get angry.. Hmm.. Also bought a bag, but not school bag =X Although my target was to buy a school bag and a skirt. :X
That was around 7plus going 8pm. Daddy had to leave. =( Leave this ke lian char bo at Bugis. Muahaha but thanks God. Victoria came down to meet me. =D~ She's another blur girl. She said that "Eh, I forget to bring your Zhou Jie Lun books down leh." I was wondering my books are with me, how come is still with her? *lol*
Then shop around again. Went to Bugis street again. -.-" Walk around, near CRC there. PAN AR!! CRC CLOSED LE!! YOU BLUFF ME!! THEN WHOLE BUGIS FOOD VILLAGE IS CLOSED WHERE GOT CRC!!! Then she went to buy stuffs for her nails. -.-" (Just another very vain girl) then nua around. Went to Coffee Bean. Sit down and talk cock. Then stright away head towards Pasir Ris Park for William's BBQ.
Alright, was bored there. Lucky Chen Tian was there, if not I gonna be bored to death!! -.-" Nua there with Chin Mei and Pei Qi. Oh well, really bored. =X Then head towards Singa Festa to nua again until 12plus going 1 ba. Then head home. Reach home was sweating like hell. -.-" Went for shower and chat over the phone until around 2? Then went to bed.. =D That's my day for yesterday. Brother booking in soon!!! =D~~ Rox babY!!

This will really be the last time I gonna talk about it. Those mixed up feelings, and bottled up feelings make me so fuck up. I hate it. I swear this will be the last time I gonna talk about it. No more clinging onto him. He just make me PISS OFF and make me HATE HIM!!
I tried my best not to hate him, but so sorry. I can't. Too much things happen that make me grow from love to hate. Maybe you're right, we can't communicate. I don't give a damn on it NOW!
If happen I see you down the street, without thinking I sure walk towards you and give you a damn hard slap. Pray hard not to see me.. I don't care about what happen to me next, even if you are going to sue me or what fuck, I don't care. Those anger inside me, I hate to have it!
Thanks to yourself for causing you to let me hate.


YEAH! YOU WIN YOU

HAPPY!?



If I know right from the start will get rejection, why the fuck I go ask from him!?
I hate myself!!


Another day. Having more then 1/2 of my mind of not going to school. Cause form teacher not going? Coughing like fuck yesterday, didn't manage to sleep well. Came home very early to day for wanting to sleep early, in the end, coughing like hell, so didn't get to sleep well. Less then an hour wake up le. *Sigh*
Being slacking at school the whole day. Imaging having more then half the time in school doing nothing but slacking? Oh well, that's Greenview. And it sucks! O's are coming, yet they do nothing to it. Fuck, I hate it!
First period was silent reading. Reading Straits Time. Nothing interesting anyway. Then 2nd and 3rd period was Maths. Teacher no come, slack. Listening to my disc man, JJ :D Then 4th period was English. Teacher did came.
But that's lame. She actually ask we all to take post pad and write a famous person name. Walk around the class and guess who "I" really am. Of fuck, what a boring lesson. After that 2 periods of art. I did nothing but talking cock with that teacher. GOSH! His perfume still spray so much and it sucks! The smell make me faint.
Dont feel like talking about him. Cause he sucks too much. He ask those questions which can make you DIE and hit the wall!! -_-" Argh, don't talk about it. Came home, nua like nobody business. Want to sleep, can't sleep. Took out my art and start cutting. The moment I've start cutting, I cut the wrong one. CONGRATS MAN!!
2 songs to intro. Both are from JJ.. Being listening to his songs recently. I've fallen for him. Oh well, XIAOHUA is still the first one as usual. =)
This song is intro by my real kor. Oh well, he sucks. Booking out tomorrow. *sians*

This song is intro by pan pan. :)


Kinda tired now. Lazy study too. Too much craps. =X Although I did nap just now. Still coughing very much, although already taken medicine. *Sigh* I think is because of the bad weather ba. Having flu now. *shiver* Although I didn't switch on the air-con.
Hmm.. Thanks Elena for that song that you send. =D
Was thinking about myself just now. What do I really want in my life? I really have no idea about it. *Sigh* He's gone, yet I still can't forget. I feel that my feelings already starting to fade. I can smile now, but what happen yesterday, I really very happy. I feel so bliss even if it is just a SMS from him.
He can be the one making me smile, he can be the one making me cry too. I'm totally lost over him. He light up my life, he also can be the one making it dull. *sigh* i really have no idea what am I doing? WO YAO KUAI LE!!!!

Hunnie: No matter what happen, I always by your side de. Don't worry. No matter rain nor shine. Always this silly girl cheering you up by making a fool of myself? *LOL* Hope I did cheer you up with the pictures. =X
Someone special: Thanks about yesterday. You really make me smile. Although I think that you care as a friend, I'm really very happy with that. I won't ask for more. Hope that your studies didn't make you break down. =]


Hmmm.. Yesterday was having a very nice sleep. :D Something BIG happen. *LOL* =X Oh well, was coughing very serious that wake me up from my dreamland.[Its a good thing anyway] I shall not go to details. *Blehx*
Anyway, went to school today with a BIG BIG SMILE! =D Because of yesterday? Hmmm.. Having PE lesson today. Oh well, it sucks. As usual badminton? Although I like it, but only 2 courts we can play. The last court can't play with it. No idea why. And the teacher SIMPLY SUCKS! Class T-shirt can't wear. Oh man. Gonna wear that lame PE shirt, which is too small for me. *scream*
4 periods of art today. And I've done nothing? Oh well, the boards, I only can fill up 1 board? LOL.. With all the things that I've done. This time I'm in BIG SHIT! How am I gonna fill up with 8 boards? And all the compostions that I've done went missing. HELL.. This time really very jia lat le.. >.<"
Anyway, Saturday trip to Sentosa cancel. Marcus mum got stroke. *Sigh* Anyway, pray hard for his mother. Hope that she can recover fast. Although I don't really like Marcus as a friend, but still ok ba..

This is the stupid Kelvin! See this picture can make me laugh like hell!!
Oh, just bought Lin Jun Jie first album :D This is the one. I love him man!! He rox!!

This is what a boliao person like me can be doing during lesson time. Argh, boring -_-"

The 3 bitches!!

Who is more tanned? Oh well, they are Malays. I think I'm more tanned than them! =X Talking about skin color, some of my classmates said that I look more nicer in fairer skin. But I still prefer tanned skin.. Hmmm.. What you guys think?



Taken with XinDai at Sentosa :D Thanks buddy for helping me to upload. =)
Was reading Elena blog, saw this.. AWw, hope you don't mind wor. =X

Why you choose to give up
When you know that there are still people who cares for you
Why you choose to hang on
When you know that the person no longer cares

Why you choose to break the heart of others
When you know tat it hurts them to see you like that
Why you choose to act stupid
When you know that you can never bring yourself to forgive him

Why you choose to be sad
When you know tat he's already living his life much better than you do
Why you choose to hide urself from this world
When you know u're able to move on if you try

Nobody in this world cannot live without someone else
It is the way on how you wanna let your life be
Don't blame yourself if things aren't working out fine for you
Its just an obstacle for you to overcome it

Pass thru the obstacle bravely
You'll see a stronger you, a brighter tomorrow
Never let someone bring your life down
You're livin in this world for yourself, not them

Avril Lavigne - I'm With You
I'm standing on a bridge
I'm waitin in the dark
I thought that you'd be here by now
There's nothing but the rain
No footsteps on the ground
I'm listening but there's no sound

Isn't anyone tryin to find me?
Won't someone please take me home
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Wont you take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
but I'm, I'm with you

I'm looking for a place
searching for a face
Is there anybody here I know
Cause nothings going right
And everythings a mess
And no one likes to be alone

Isn't anyone tryin to find me?
Won't someone please take me home
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Wont you take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I'm, I'm with you

Oh why is everything so confusing
Maybe I'm just out of my mind
Yea yea yea

It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Wont you take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I'm, I'm with you

Take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I'm, I'm with you
I'm with you

Take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I'm, I'm with you
I'm with you
I'm with you...

Year 2004 Miss Charco goes to... EBEL YONG!!!

Alright, did I get darker? Please say yes!!??

A long time since I've type proper blog. Alright, mood swing yesterday. Sorry if I've scare anyone of you. Right now I'm chewing nuts. Hur hur..

There's a quote in the cover saying which I find it very meaningful: "You are only young once, and if you work it right, once is enough" -Joe E. Lewis
Hmm.. Yesterday having performances from teachers. Well, nothing special. Every year the same, having teachers performing on Youth Day. Alright, the show was ok. But I don't really enjoy myself. Having a special guest. Hmm.. The next Singapore Idol? Well, I can only said that his voice is nice, but not too much emotions to the chinese song that he sang. Zhou Jie Lun - An Jing. The english song was nice. Can anyone tell me the title? Cause I've forget?
After that head stright home. Went to take a hot shower, stright away went to bed. I think I did online ba. Abit STM here.. Hmm.. Woke up at 7pm but call. [Didn't answer anyway.] Watch TV awhile, MSN awhile. Surf net. Then went to bed at 9pm. Don't know why getting so tired each and every day. I guess I'm dying soon? *OMG*
Planning to wake up at 0000 to study and to do my homework, in the end, the alarm didn't wake me up. *Sigh* I guess I too tired le ba..
This morning reach school, saw Kelvin. I realise that he's the only one can make me smile! =D Gosh, he rox man. I dont know why I just enjoy crapping with him. Although what I always said he always reply "Wah lau, hen lei leh!" Then he will be putting his head on the table and sleep. -__-" My friend. *LOL*
Both of us are silly enough. Reach school the first thing is ask "Eh Chiongh you mei you he ni na mc?" HahaZ, lame sia. Then we even planned to skip school on Friday going to Sentosa for sun-tanning. *LOL* Cause form teacher not coming. Then going Sentosa with Marcus again on Saturday. Hahaz, but everything gonna change. I having my periods right now. AWw.. =(
I'm tired now, gonna go to bed. =( Waking up later to go study at night. =] Miss ya people especially him. =)

Right now I'm fucking angry and fucking dulan.[is that the same? Ok whatever] didn't went home yesterday. Reach home only kpkb from that fucker ass sister. CCB. Alot of fucking things happen, make me scream until no voice.[Although i'm having sore throat] She change the fucking ass PW for my brother account. Act as if she's big. CCB.
I WANT TO GET OUT OF THIS FUCKING HOUSE can someone just bring me along? I won't need them to live. Fuck, I can work to get money. I don't need them. Right now looking for job. Just hope that my friend sister will give me that job at DownTown East. Then I dont have to come home so early everyday to see the fucking 4 walls and that CCB asshole.
I PROMISE IF HAPPEN SHE MAKE ME FUCK UP AGAIN, I WILL THROW THE FUCKING ASS NOISY GU ZHEN DOWN!!! Throw everything fucking things of mine on the floor, take whatever fucking things I saw throw at her. Fuck, that's nice! My house is in total mess, I don't give a fucking damn.
Early morning KPKB knn. Not my fucking fault, why am I always the one in blame. Just hate this fucking ass house. I PROMISE I WILL LEAVE HERE ASAP!! Hate it man. Whatever I do, they don't even give a fucking damn on it. Fuck, why care?
Was out the whole night. So hungry, so cold, so tired, so helpless. Everyone is changing. Fuck, and I hate it!!! Was at Stany's void-deck the whole night. Watching people in and out of the lifts. Saw couple kissing, playing hide and seck. Fuck, I hate those moment. Went to sentosa, saw couple sun-tanning together. Oh fuck.
Whatever fuck. I don't give a fucking ass damn on them. No go school was my own problem, why they bother? Asshole..!!!!! I don't need any comments or what fuck. Just don't talk about my family. I'm living in the world of my own. Just that they are DEAD TO ME!!!

Just came back from sentosa, and I'm really tired. Reach there around 9plus. Then rain. Hell.. Went to eat breakfast, and the food simply sucks. Walk around, nua nua, sun come out. Walk from Tanjong beach all the way to Sunset bay. Finally found one spot, then we settle down.
Sit down, then sun tanning. So hot, went to water with XinDai. Then sit down there talk cock. Realise alot of craps about.. *LOL* Shit man. High tight coming. Keep moving and moving until I fucking pek chek. Then rain again. Fuck sia.
Went for shower, then 7-eleven. Bought ice cream, then took the train dont know how many rounds. Just to kill time and wait for the rain to get smaller. Alright, don't talk about it. Simply SUCKS!

The only picture taken. @&#@)(#@*#^@&#*(@ Forget to change my batt. Then went there without batt. Took one picture, then low batt. #&*$^#^T#%*()@#(*&@$^&#*@ Then wanted to use HP take, in the end realise I didn't bring spare batt. Everything just against me!! @#*&(@(#@(#_@#

Went to expo to take de.









To be frank, these few days don't feel like blogging. After I log in to blogger, then I've no idea what to type. Feeling really down perhaps. I feel like poking myself with something to make me wake up from the reality. The feelings so sucks.. =(
Meeting XinDai to sentosa tomorrow. Oh well, she finish work at 0730, then I be there around 9am. 9am I hope I won't be really tired.. alright, that's it. dont know what else to say. hope that tomorrow Xindai can make me smile ba. Cause everything I see her sillyness I sure smile.. =|

If holding on can be so painful, I rather be the one letting go..PAINFUL!

Alright, went to meet William at noon time. Then guess who I saw!? ELENA!!!! *LOL* She's so damn pretty.. *drool* Saw her at White Sands. She wore white top. I was like wearing those "ah ma" clotherings. Now I know why he.. Erm okay nvm.
After that, William came over my place to collect his stuffs. Then nua till around 4-5. Then he left. He dig out all my notes and wanted to "steal" my chemistry notes.. Aww.. Boliaos..




That's what boliao friends can be. *LOL*

Won't be able to online for this weekend. Brother book out le. Then I suppose he will be staying at home.
Alright, today paper was really sucks. LOL Although only LC, but I think I gonna fail. Cause I didn't really listen to it, was tired[Although I've being sleeping for one day] Hmmm.. Then went to LP to eat mac.. Saw XIAO SHUAI SHUAI~~ =X *Blehx*
XinDai jio me go Sentosa on monday!! =D~~ I think mostly I will be going. [Provided my "auntie" never visit me. *LOL*] Hmmm.. Anything just call my HP ba..
Nat I won't be online leh.. How!? Must miss me wor!!
Hunnie Take good care of yourself alright..? Miss me call me wor. Waiting for you call me. Got things to pour to me, feel free to call me alright!?
Buddy You also must take care of yourself. Free must SMS/CALL me talk cock wor..[Don't even call when I'm sleeping!!]
Jessie Nu reN!! No one gonna talk craps with you, free call me out alright?
Elena Don't sad le, cheer up ba.. *Hug tight*
OMG.. My friendster profile just change. Feel free to see. Muhaha..
Anyway, this picture taken this morning.. Cause I woke up too early le..

Where the hell am I looking? I don't know.. Oh yah, taken with Nokia 7250i.. My GD88 missing in action~~ =(

Hmmm.. Kinda tired. Not feeling well too. =( *Sigh* Headache. Hao tong wor.. Didn't went to school today, cause I don't feel like going. Tomorrow O level listening. Gonna report at 8am. Make sure I will wake up. My head is in real pain now. Feel like sleeping. But I've slept around evening time.
Anyway, bought this album. :D JJ!!!

Hunnie I bought this. This is the second album. Not the first one. Argh, gonna shop for the first album le.. Tomorrow kor kor booking out, Yong Xi also.. So does Alan kor.. Oh well, if Yong Xi ask me out(I dont think he will) I doubt be going out. *LOL* Gonna rush my art. Simply miss his craps man. He too long no call me le, SMS also cut down le. Nowadays only xiao shuai shuai SMSed me. Oh well..
Anyway, some ass photos I've taken today.

Was at Burger King eating with my sister just now. She very boliao, take my phone and play.
PS: Nat, smiling because of taking photo. Hahaz, though in school uniform still sucks -_-" ahHAha, you also wore that for 5 years. =X Anyway, my email is xiao_snow87@hotmail.com Add me hor, then I give you my HP.. Then free we go down la kopi~ Since we stay so near each other. =D =D

Not planning to study later. Kinda tired.. =( Although I have enough rest just now. But I feel so tired. My eyes are so heavy now.. Gonna go to bed soon..
Hmmm.. Public performances coming.. Hur hur, going with Kelvin. Is on 13th July 2004. Well, that's a public performances. Each ticket selling at $10. Money goes to The Straits Time school pocket fund. Well, got performances to see, at the same time can do some charity. I don't mind going. =D Gonna wear formal. *LOL* I can't imaging man.. Lala~ At Victoria Concert Hall.. Well, I guess I'm pretty excited about it =D
Hmmm.. Talked about art, Public performances.. I dont think there's anything more to say. I'm tired. *yawns* Lei~ Hao lei.. See you guys at lala land ba.. =D
Hunnie: Remember to bring moon-tan lotion for moon-tanning later. Meet you at Lala MRT station. =)

Alright, that's what happen before recess and during recess. After recess was having 4 periods of art. To be frank, art lesson time pass very fast. Do abit of cutting, school finish le. :D
My art teacher change because she just gave birth some days back. And change to the gay teacher, who put alot of perfume. Like FOC one. =X The way he dress.. Argh.. Like some aqua. Ok, to be frank, I can't stand him. If I got chance, I will take his picture and put it here. *LOL* Some girls say that he's man. -_-" No to me.
Hmmm.. Was bring my craft out to spray, then.. *CRIES* I guess I'm the world most clumsiest person. I actually trip to my friend's board,[Thanks Jason] and I nearly fall. With my leg going in the craft. And =D torn. My craft torn. Oh well, the bottom right totally gone case. The border of the crap and most of the parts of the craft totally gone case. Haiz, this time in fucking dead shit.
A long way to go for the craft, and the dead line is on August? 7 weeks from now? With 8 a3 boards. Oh well.. I've no 8 boards, and I think what I have is like only 2 boards? With those 5cm by 5cm drawings? Gosh.. I think I gonna enlarge everything.. -_-" And redo again.
This weekend burn. Not going out unless I finish my 8 boards. Oh well, I think gonna wait for 8weeks then can go out. Means 2months? LOL..

Linkin Park - Pushing Me Away

I've lied to you
The same way that I always do
This is the last smile
That I'll fake for the sake of being with you

Pre chorus:
(Everything falls apart, even the people who never frown eventually break down)
The sacrifice of hiding in a lie
(Everything has to end, you'll soon find we're out of time left to watch it all unwind)
The sacrifice is never knowing

Why I never walked away
Why I played myself this way
Now I see your testing me pushes me away

I've tried like you
To do everything you wanted too
This is the last time
I'll take the blame for the sake of being with you

Pre chorus
Chorus (2x)

We’re all out of time, this is how we find how it all unwinds
The sacrifice of hiding in a lie
We’re all out of time, this is how we find how it all unwinds
The sacrifice is never knowing

Chorus (2x)

Pushes me away…(2x)

Was kinda piss off yesterday. Or perhaps this morning. Argh.. Winamp keep having error. Like that never mind. -_-" Then my MSN keep dc-ing. ARgh.. Cable down at around 2plus 3. When the match start, my cable down. Hell..
Keep restarting laptop, then sound card error. -_-" Fcuk. Pek chek like hell. No mp3 no net. ARgh.. Bo pian, get back to study. Don't ask me study till what time. Kinda horrible. 1.5hr to wake up time. So calculate yourself. =X
Was reading my notes. Sweating.. Whole body very itchy. Bo pian, go shower. And to keep myself awake for the "battle" LOL~ After shower so song.. Continue studying.. Then shuai shuai SMS me. Telling me he on net. =X Then chatted awhile. That was around 2 I think. Talk to bud, giving attitude. Sorry.. =( Things don't go my way, I sure pek chek de.. Haiz.. Stuffs don't go in my head, very pek chek.. Those anger.. *Bish*
Then off my laptop, continue study till around 4plus 5. =X LOL~ Then went to bed. Surprisly, I can't sleep. The moon was so round yestersday. Shiny stars. loL~ I think you guys can't see. That's inside my head. Imaging de.. Aww.. Love that moment.. How I wish I get older, married to someone whom I really love and someone whom I can't live without. Together buy a house with "A" class. The ceiling is actually ubreakable glass. So that when night time, we are able to see at the stars..
Ok, back to reality.. Sorry hunnie, was in very bad mood yesterday maybe because of anger over studies ba.. =( Sorry buddy, sorry hunnie, sorry whoever I've offended.
Talking to xiao shuai shuai, things that I don't know I've asked him. He taught me. Not like.. Err, don't want to say. Say liao sad sad. Heartbreak. Haiz.
Anyway, today class was damn boring. And surprisly I didn't fall asleep during lessons. My eyes are opening big till now. =D But will be forcing myself to sleep soon. then wake up later around 8pm to start study for O's.
I guess this is my life. I gonna get with this busy life. So that I won't think too much and those things that I don't want to know will never come into my head. Anyway, this will continue until next week. Cause the following week night class in starting. -_-" Gosh. I hope I be able to study at school. Why not try out for like 1 week? If can't study, then don't go for night class. Continue with what I've being doing.
Hmmm.. Today recess was sitting with Alan they all.. They sucks. That's what I've to say. Eugene was the one starting with that topic.
"Wah.. Your BF so tall sia"
*stone look* I was shock. Eugene I just know him. Why he know about him? I just keep quiet.
Jason added in "Eugene ni zai shou Marc har?"
*Diao Jason* "Knn lah, bu yao zai jiang le.. Huan topic leh.." I said. "Har Jason!? She mo? Marc? Ni zai shou Marc shi ma!? He not so tall, he's fuc*ing tall!" Alan joked around.
*Heartbroken* Stand up and going to walk off. They stop me. If not sure fan lian de.. But was walking towards Art room, they still talked about it. =| Haiz, why everytime like that de? If they never sit with me, these type of embarrass moment won't happen. If they find table, they won't be sitting with me.
Chatted with Ong. He told me that Eugene is the one finding the sharp knife and Jason is the one stabbing into my heart and Alan is the one twisting and turning the knife. In and out of my heart. *Ouch my heart just bleed. I've no idea why my eyes were filled with tears.. *Sigh*

Update update~
Right now is going 1am. I'm still here. Just finish 1 topic. *LOL* =X Dead meat.. Ho ho.. How am I going to finish the whole book by morning? Gosh. I think I gonna give up soon. =( But for the seck of going Poly!! JIA YOU JIA YOU!!
Mood swing. =( *sigh* just feeling bad.. I mean, err.. buddy, so sorry.. =| I scare I study till sleep. Then you said you're going to sleep. Then I was like err? Omg. What am I talking? I've no idea too.. My mind is blank except Acid Bases and Salts. Hope that I can remember that by tomorrow. ARgh.. I think I going to see doctor soon STM[Short Term Memory]
Just drank another 4pack of coffee.. My eyes still tired.. 4 + 2 = 6. GOSH!! I think I gonna be another kopi girl. Eyes are so.. -.-" Heavy? Haiz, closing.. closing.. Oh man.. Dont know what am I typing now.. =_="

{/links --

ctrl + left click

{/online shopping --

{/archives --

watch me waste my life away

{/miscellaneous --

my virtual barang