e
m
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Tried to take a picture; Of love
I wanna fill this new frame; But it's Empty
Ebel Yong
22years old
1.7m, 52kg
17th Jan 1987[Birthday]
4th June 2006[Spiritual]
Believes that waiting will creates miracle
I wanna fill this new frame; But it's Empty
{/profile --
ramblings of a young adult
Ebel Yong
22years old
1.7m, 52kg
17th Jan 1987[Birthday]
4th June 2006[Spiritual]
Believes that waiting will creates miracle
Tried to write a letter; In ink
I've got a piece of paper; But it's Empty
A sucky off day for me. *scream* did i just use the word sucks? hmmm.. i guess.. anyway, if you continue reading, you will realise how SUCKS my day could be.
woke up at around 12pm, went out to have my lunch at my dad place. is like waited for so long, then the food came, but when it came, totally don't feel like eating my favourite food, i throw away in fact.. went home to slack awhile before i left the house.. look for my stuffs high and low, in the end i cant find the stuffs i'm looking for..
went out, nearly fell down. thanks god, i didn't fall.. went to bus stop, 89 just left. i wanted to go hougang to meet my friend before i go down to dye + highlight my hair. in the end, i cancel the appointment with my friend.. reach white sands, went to atm to withdraw money, i wait, and my turn, fu*k the machine, "eat" up my card even before i enter my pin.. *SCREAM*
i don't have any cash with me. damn it man.. what's next was i call the hotline calling for help. in the end, the person ask me for my NRIC no. name, account no. how the hell am i suppose to remember so many numbers? In the end i told her i can't remember, guess what? she ask me when was the last time i withdraw money, at where, how much? i'm so piss and there you are asking me those questions..!
and in the end, i told her: "what am i suppose to do now? i have no cash with me, and i need cash urgently" her reply was: "i'm sorry, there's nothing i can do." wtf!! can you imaging how piss i am? she ask me how i want my card to be replace? by mail or i go down the bank to make a new one? i thought i can get it on sunday, but instead, she said that all the banks are close. WTF! might as well down answer?
in the end, went to bedok to take money from HQ. THANKS A MILLION!! if not, i have no idea what the hell am i suppose to do.. =D then went down to dye + highlight my hair. hmm.. reasonable price, shall not expose how much is it. *lols* then went over to my uncle place to slack.. then went over to Tiong Barhu to meet him!! =D~
waited for this day for a very long time.. waited outside for him.. 9pm! i saw him walking out of the shop, waited awhile till he gets everything done.. went over to v8 to eat.. haha, he still remember where i love to eat.. took me such a long time to crack my head to remember.. =X
slack at Bugis after that.. went smiling all the way.. =D how i wish that you're able to meet me everyday.. oh man, i love that day! =D although bad start of the day, but YOU manage to light up my day.. =]
All eyes on the calendar
Another year I claim of total indifference
To here the days pile up
With decisions to be made
I'm sure all of them were wrong
Into this song, I send myself
And with these drinks I plan to collapse and forget
This wasted year
Devoted friends, they disappear
I'm sorry about the SMS and needing you
Some decisions you don't make
I guess it's like breathing and not wanting to
There are some things that you can't fake
I guess that it is typical
To cling to memories you'll never get back again
And to sory through old photographs of a summer long ago
Or a friend that you used to know
And there, below his frozen face
You wrote the name and that ancient date
And you can't believe he is really gone
When all that's left is a fucking song
I'm sorry about the SMS and disturbing you
I know its late
But thank you for replying because I needed to
Some things just can't wait
I'm waiting for 9pm!! =D~~
reach home early today, still wondering why i didn't hang out outside but came straight home aftter that.. wondering why am i doing all these things? for myself? or just to please my parents? they've been nagging all along about coming home late, but i didnt even listen to them, cause i believe i'm no longer a kid, i know what am i doing..
sentosa trip mostly be cancelling, need to help out at dad's place. might be going to bbq at night, if YOU wanna tag along, please let me know.. if not, dinner will be great. =] i just wanna see you, even if just to travel down all the way to meet you, to accompany you to take the train home, im please with it. i aint someone who can request much.
anyway, work seems fine, just that i have my break late.. nearly 530pm then have my break. i'm hungry and lotsa things for me to do..! *scream* didnt hit target, but pump alot of balloons today, and GOSH, i hate balloons!! if happen you're at town, drop by taka.. all the balloons i pump it. *sigh* so tired..
just change my big sister to Cat, i still prefer Nora. maybe because she's nice? gosh, not trying to be mean, but just that i've nothing much to talk to Cat, only work, work and work.. Nora is different, we can be talking about guys, customers, whatever.. and Cat, is more to work. Well, maybe she's more to work is work, play is play that kind.. need lotsa time to understand her more. well, i dont have any doubts that she's a nice big sister. cause she teach me alot today! =)
meeting rodney and cooke tomorrow. hope that this outing will be fun. they're looking for me after work. i've no idea why, but just wanna chill out at town.. i've no idea why i dont feel like meeting you guys[you should know who you are], just need to be peaceful at times. maybe whenever you guys ask me out, i'm not free.. wrong timing, like what i've said..
i aint avoiding anyone. just that i need peace at time, and i wanna be who i wanna be with.. imaging if i finish work at 8, i reach pasir ris at 9+ what can we do? and somemore i'm working the next day, i need to get home early to rest.. you think i be able to have enough sleep? i'm not trying to say anything, just that i want you guys to know my part.. that's all i wanna say, understand me anot, its up to you.. =) im tired, good night..
I asked God to take me along with Him.. But in the end, He told me to enjoy life, and He said that somehow, the *him* that I've been waiting all along will be back some day..
What God told me was true? Or is it a lie all along? Is its only my illusion or is it a reality? Will the day that I always wanted it to happen will be reality instead of a dream?
I'm lost and shattered, the way you react seems to be some lies about what you told me.. Your actions doesn't prove the way you want my life to be.. Please, tell me what to do..
a recent picture of mine...
The meaning of the 3 magical words -> I Love You <-
When you are only 5 years old, I said I love you
You asked me: "What is it?"
When you are 15 years old, I said I love you
You blused, you look down and smile.
When you are 20 years old, I said I love you
You put your head on my shoulder and hold my hand, afraid that I might disappear.
When you are 25 years old, I said I love you
You prepare breakfast and serve it in front of me, and kiss my forhead said: "You better be quick, it's gonna be late."
When you are 30 years old, I said I love you
You said: "If you really love me, please come back early after work."
When you are 40 years old, I said I love you
You are cleaning the dinning tablle and said: "Ok dear, but it's time for you to help our child with his/her revision."
When you are 50 years old, I said I love you
You are knitting and you laugh at me.
When you are 60 years old, I said I love you
You smile at me.
When you are 70 years old, I said I love you
We sit on the rocking chair with our glasses on, I'm reading your love letters that you sent to me 50 years ago..
When you are 80 years old, I said I love you
I didn't say anything but cried. That day must be the happiest day of my life, beacuse you said you love me..
[i love you] is said because there is a pure thought that was hoping this magical 3 words can bring you happiness and futurity... And because of having such pure thoughts... people which have true heart to a person gives out all his/hercourage to tell : I love you..
Message to YOU: If you do cherish me, let me know.. I will cherish you like how you cherish me..
Im still waiting for your reply.. Since yesterday, i've been sms-ing you about this sunday plan. But until now, I still get no repond from you. Are YOU avoiding me? If yes, let me know. I'll stay back and I wont sms you.. I will just leave you alone.. let me know, i'll do whatever you want me to do.. i change for you, but did you know about it? i doubt.. it might be some small little things to you, but have you ask yourself why am i doing these changes just because of you? have you ask yourself a little what have you done for me in return? nothing.. not even something that you do to touch me..
if really loving you is getting back all those shit things, i guess, i will choose to let you be who you wanna be, let you be what you wanna be. let myself be the same old ebel again.. piercing and punk is what i wanna be.. maybe i shouldnt have remove all those piercings that i've done.. i shouldn't.. i shouldn't have.. and i shouldn't have cry for you..
Just reach home not long.. Finish work at 2pm, but waited for Jee Jee.. Then Didi came down to pass me present, so nice of him. Anyway, thanks for that belated one.. Went to Far East for lunch with her, then saw her friend. Her friend is actually a Chinese but can speak damn good Malay.. *clap clap*
Something nice to share that I found in Friendster...
She was not beautiful. Nothing about her was extraordinary. Nothing about her made her stand out in a crowd.
She grew up in a family of six and being the eldestshe learned responsibility at an early age. As she grew stronger and brighter, she instilled asort of light and cheer to whomever she met. She was not beautiful, but she made others feel better about themselves. She meets a rebel boy who thinks he is all man befriending him, she teaches him. She teaches him how to read and a little boost, the ' man' needed to go to college. They become fast friends and she fell fast in love with her rugged handsome student.
The ' man' then finds himself in love with a girl. A girl who was so beautiful. Her hair was a hallow of light around her. Her eyes the bluest blue of the ocean.
'Like an angel' he tells his tutor' like a beautiful angel.'The girl swallows a lump at her throat.
She was not beautiful. She did not posses the heart of the one he loved, but she did not care. As long as he was happy, she would be happy, or so she tried to. She helped write the most beautiful letters to his angel. All the time visioning it was she herself recieving those very letters. And so the girl helped him choose the right clothes, say the right words, and buy the right gifts for his angel.
His angel brought him much joy and much pain to the girl who cried behind her smiles. But that never stopped her from giving more thanshe will ever receive. Then one day, all of heartbroke loose, the angel he loved left him for another man. A richer more successful man. The boy was stunned. He was so hurt, he did not speak for days. The girl went to him, he cried on her shoulder and she cried with him. He was hurt and she was too.
Time went by and so wounds heal, the boy realizes something about his friend/tutor. Something he never realized before. How her laughter sounded heavenly and how her smiles brightened up the darkest days, or how simply beautiful she looked to him!
Beautiful. This plain, simple girl was beautiful to him. And he began to fall, fall so in love with this beautiful girl. On one day, he picked up all his courage to see her. He walked to her house, nervous, and fidgeting, running his thoughts over and over his head. He was going to tell her how beautiful she was to him. He was going to tell her how wonderfully in love he was with her. He knocked.
No one was home.
The next day, he found out that the beautiful girl he fell in love with had a brain tumor that put her into acoma. The doctors were grim and the family decided to let her go.
One final time he got to see her, he held her hand, he stroked her hair and he cried for this beautiful girl. He cried, but it was too late. The beautiful girl was buried and the heavens broke. Out a beautiful spring shower, a cry for their loss. She was the most beautiful girl in the world and she had taught the rebel boy-man to love and what it is to be loved.
She was the most beautiful girl in the world.
Look around. Isn't there a lot of plain faces?
Take a good look. A real good look, or you might just miss out that beautiful person.
Forever.
I should know.... wouldn't I?
If you had a heart, you would send this to as much people as possible to keep the memory of this person alive. If you don't, then your pretty ugly deep inside, so send this. If you don't, you'll alsoloose the love of your life, so you don't really havea choice.
I don't know why.. So don't ask me why.. Don't ask me why I cry for you, don't ask me why I gonna wait for you.. I think I've made up my mind.. To wait.. Till.. I don't know when.. I just feel like.. And I feel like waiting..
Maybe God above will pity me.. Maybe He will give me a chance to be with the person who I always want to be with.. Maybe He won't even care about me.. Maybe he will just let me die in this way.. The way that I wish I can never be..
I'm still wondering why God is treating me in this way? Still wondering why Tsunami causes so many people to lose their lifes and lose their loved ones.. Am I the most poor thing girl in the world? I'm not.. Cause I know there are more people out there who are most heartache than me..
But I don't know why I can't smile.. Are you gonna teach me how? Teach me the way to have a smile that can last forever?
Another day.. Well, its 24 of the month again.. I hate this date alot. If you guys being reading my blog all along, you guys will know..
Anyway, went to work today, reach Taka at around 0940, have my breakfast, then start work.. Nora sign in at around 11, then we start our craps again.. Joanne came down, ask me to sign out for lunch! WHICH IS AROUND 1220!!! SO EARLY!!!
No choice, sign out, accompany one of the staff to bank, then went to buy food.. Then came back, eat.. And then, what's next was I sign in at 1310, then Joanne start her craps again.. She ask Nora to sign out for her lunch. Wth? If I not wrong, Nora also say that its so EARLY! What to do, a bad day for the week.. Staffs alot on the selling floor. *sigh*
Share with one of my big sister[Part timer] that I remove all my piercing, she drop her jaw, with a "WAH ARE YOU SURE?" I guess I scare her to death.. She know I like piercing, but she didn't know why am I doing all these, and who am I doing for. I just remain silent and walk off..
I know myself very well that once I'm determine I will do whatever its good for me. Even if it turn out to be some random digusting stuffs, I will still do it.. Stubborn you can call me, whatever I won't even care.. Anyway, went to Wild Wild Wet just now, didn't have much tanned. A cold day, with hot sun? Haha.. Slack around and had my dinner outside..
Reach home not long. And my silly girl... Ying Yan, its alright[about your SMS].. Sometimes, I rather be alone when I'm vexed rather than having someone beside me.. I appreciate everything about it...
Will be going to Sentosa this Sunday. As what I said earlier on, going there to support Wild Wild Wet team. =D I just love the people there. I not sure where it is, but I hope to drop by. Being such a long time since I've step into Sentosa.. Oh yeah, I went there last December? *Oops* Might be going with Jee Jee & Hitomi or XinDai, if not, I'm alone. Oh well.. I ain't gonna ask anyone anymore about wanting to tag along. Cause I HATE IT! If no one wanna tag along with me, fine, I go myself..
I hate empty promises.. Promise to go to some random place (where ever I'm addicted to example Wild Wild Wet), in the end? Don't even dare to reply my SMS or even MSN message. Well, whatever shit. Don't appreciate whatever I do, fine, get out of my sight. I don't need you as my friend. Like it anot? I won't care. That's the way I am, not please with me? Delete me from your MSN contact list as well as my HP number?
That's all I wanna say, and I'm hell tired.. I hate this world, especially with you bugging by my side that makes my life more SUCKS. YUCKS!!When I appreciate you and when I love you, where the fuck are you? You don't even care about any shit that happen to me. And why must I be the one who care for you? I ain't gonna be some silly girl anymore.. That's the way I gonna be now..
*sigh* don't ask me what happen, I just feel sucks at times. Whatever. Time for bed, bug me and you gonna get FUCK by me. I mean it. =]
I got something to share.. Nice.. Get it from Chilli crap..
Many years ago in a small Indian village, a farmer had the misfortune of owing a large sum of money to a village moneylender. The moneylender, who was old and ugly, fancied the farmer's beautiful daughter. So he proposed a bargain. He said he would forgo the farmer's debt if he could marry his daughter.
Both the farmer and his daughter were horrified by the proposal. So the cunning money-lender suggested that they let providence decide the matter.
He told them that he would put a black pebble and a white pebble into an empty money bag. Then the girl would have to pick one pebble from the bag.
If she picked the black pebble, she would become his wife and her father's debt would be forgiven. If she picked the white pebble she need not marryhim and her father's debt would still be forgiven. But if she refused to pick a pebble, her father would be thrown into jail.
All the villagers were standing on a pebble strewn path in the farmer's field. As they talked, the moneylender bent over to pick up two pebbles.
As he picked them up, the sharp-eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two black pebbles and put them into the bag. He then asked the girl to pick a pebble from the bag. Now, imagine you were standing in the field.
What would you have done if you were the girl? If you had to advise her, what would you have told her?
Careful analysis would produce three possibilities:
1. The girl should refuse to take a pebble.
2. The girl should show that there were two black pebbles in the bag and expose the money-lender as a cheat.
3. The girl should pick a black pebble and sacrifice herself in order to save her father from his debt and imprisonment.
Take a moment to ponder over the story. The above story is used with the hope that it will make us appreciate the difference between lateral and logical thinking.The girl's dilemma can not be solved with traditional logical thinking. Think of the consequences if she chooses the above logical answers.
What would you recommend to the Girl to do?
Well, what she did was :
The girl put her hand into the moneybag and drew out a pebble. Without looking at it, she fumbled and let it fall onto the pebble-strewn path where it immediately became lost among all the other pebbles.
"Oh, how clumsy of me," she said. "But never mind, if you look into the bag for the one that is left, you will be able to tell which pebble I picked."
Since the remaining pebble is black, it must be assumed that she had picked the white one. And since the money-lender dared not admit his dishonesty, the girl changed what seemed an impossible situationinto an extremely advantageous one.
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Most complex problems do have a solution. It is only that we don't attempt to think.
Impossible is a word only to be found in the dictionary of fools.
Who did I cried for till my eyes all red? That's the best emotion I given in a relationship.. Love is a journey that's simply makes you travell in the most difficult circumstances, but yet it's Heaven's proud creation.. Maybe it takes 500 reincarnation to have this chance of you crossing in my life, the only answer for you crossing pass my life, is fate.. Thou you never stay long, it's alright, maybe it's the easiest and best way for you to carry on to be the next stage of life..
Again and again I fall, fate isn't that kind after all.. Tears may drop, heart may shatter, flame of love will never be easily rekindle.. But, who will understand the pains and hurts I've been through? Will it be you?
Anyway, the hotest blog is back? Vote for me? Again? I'm tired, time for bed... The blow links everyone..
http://www.thehottestblogs.com/index.php?action=vote&id=15
Its 23rd of the month again.. Time passes so fast.. Already a 18 year old girl.. Am I still as stubborn as last time?
Anyway, was sick the day before. I've no idea why recently i'm down with headaches. *scream* and it sucks. Seriously.. *sigh* Went to work at 2pm, then went home at 4pm.. The pains are killing me, how I wish someone just take a knife and stab me to death. Just getting bored with this shit life I'm having now. That's not important anyway..
Went back to Pasir Ris to 24hours clinic, went to see the doctor.. And the doctor measure my blood pressure. Then went to check my eyes.. He said: "Seriously, I've no idea what cause you to have headache, and I think that you didn't suffer from any serious illness" WAH LAU, can you imaging if your doctor said this to you, how will you feel? My face turn pale, and I walk out of the room, feeling giddy as well....
Took my medicine after my lunch cum dinner at my dad shop.. Sleep there till around 9pm, head towards coffee shop for my dinner, and head home.. I've no idea why I still feeling headache after the medicine, and I guess the medicine doesn't help... I still feeling yucks at all times..
Have some mood swing yesterday. I've no idea why.. Keep crying and crying for no reason.. Maybe too much things to be said. I guess, better be left unsaid.. If really, I gonna choose among he and you, I will rather choose you then him, cause I know you cherish me more then he do.. I hope the "YOU" out there know who am I refering to.. The person who read my blog everyday.. Who used to wake me up when I nap.. Who never makes me fall.. But now, everything change, and you're the one who makes me fall instead of him.. But you never know how hurt I could be..
the last song to dedicate my feelings..
In the years to come
Will you think about these moments that we shared
In the years to come
Are you gonna think it over
And how we lived each day with no regrets
Nothing lasts forever though we want it to
The road ahead holds different dreams for me and you
Sometimes goodbye, though it hurts in your heart
Is the only way for destiny
Sometimes goodbye, though it hurts
Is the only way now for you and me
Though it's the hardest thing to say
I'll miss your love in every way
So say goodbye
But don't you cry
Cause true love never dies
In a year from now
Maybe there'll be things we'll wish we'd never said
In a year from now
Maybe we'll see each other
Standing on the same street corner though it rains
Each and every end is always written in the stars
If only I could stop the world
I'd make this last
Sometimes goodbye, so it hurts in your heart
Is the only way for destiny
Sometimes goodbye, so it hurts
Is the only way now for you and me
Though it's the hardest thing to say
I'll miss your love in every way
So say goodbye
But don't you cry
Cause true love never dies
And when you need my arms to run into
I'll come for you
Nothing will ever change the way I feel
Sometimes goodbye, so it hurts in your heart
Is the only way for destiny
Sometimes goodbye, so it hurts,
Is the only way now for you and me
Though it's the hardest thing to say
I'll miss your love in every day
So say goodbyeBut don't you cry
Because a true love never dies
trying to delete some of the photos and MSN log, but in the end i read up tons of sad things. trying to delete some of them, but in the end, my brain just became block, and i've no idea what's the next thing i gonna do..
still remember that time, how hard i tried to get marc.. all the things i went through.. the hardship, the pains, and then finally we're together after some time of struggling.. sweetly in love... ups and downs we went through together, too much of memories that we shared..
the last photo taken with him..
that was taken long ago.. months back.. going to be a year of our sepration. well, he's happy with his life, so just let it be. no more waiting, ain't gonna be some stubborn girl here.. he teach me how to be strong in with my life.. never give up easily..
after that, happen to know andy.. and realise that he from the same primary school as me.. then we get to chat on phone everyday till very late.. sure meet up during weekends to slack? went to eat steamboat with jess they all.. at that time we're not even that close, but somehow or rather, feelings do come up, and yes we're together before, but its only a week..
the only picture taken.. [look sucks anyway]
he change too much till i cant even remember who is he.. and yes, during my birthday eve, he's the one i see, its not marc. marc did share with me about his relationship with his girl, but not andy.. and he just say that they together not for long.. oh well... he teach me to be a girl instead of a punk..
a guy who can really click on with me very well. one of the best guy friend i've encounter. time cause us to have "distance" in between us, and i hope we'll be like last time, so close, and so cheerful.. nothing will bring us down.. you teach me to be a punk instead of a girl.
the lovely photo that we last snap.
my lovely girl.. she's someone who can really make me smile when i see her.. everything i left unsaid, she will know what happen.. i no need to go in details but she will know what's going on with my life. a simple word that i said, she will know the mood i've encounter. always my pal in www, enjoy doing every single thing, including her telling me how monya miss nelson and stuffs..
yingyan, every single thing happen i sure tell her.. she's someone who know alot of things about me.. i will always share with her when i feel low.. after being left alone for some times, she will always console me.. she always scold me when i'm too stubborn, always want me to forget about marc, but turn out to be the other way.. she know my limit, she know what i can do, what i cant do.. she always understand me that well... even if i left unsaid, she will get the idea of what's happening..
my precious classmates.. its like so damn long since we met up.. and seriously my time management is F9, and i've no idea why i cant find any time to meet up with anyone.. like KS, or even Ong.. though you guys have plan for me on my birthday, but thousands of apology, i've no time for you guys.. if happen you guys read this, please accept my apology.. i really miss the fun i have out there..
seriously, dont ask me why am i blogging about all these.. i just feel like saying everything out.. and whatever happen when i'm 17, its over.. never gonna happen again. cause i think and i believe that history will never repeat.[though sometimes it happen] and i know that tomorrow will be a better day for me..
18 already, old enough to think what's right and what's wrong for me.. ain't gonna be a kid waiting for someone to return, although i really hope that he will be back for me. but since he's already attach, why am i still hoping that he will come back? since they're blissfully in love, and he's happy with his life, i shall let it be..
things happen for a reason, i'm sure God create this scence for some reasons. i shouldnt have doubt with it.. i dont want to have anymore mistakes like what i've done in the the past.. like my MSN nick, wipe away my tears and be strong again.. i believe i will, cause i know i can do it. give me time, and i will prove my everything...
18 for 2 days.. was still wondering why the fuck am i still having those kids thinking. *sigh* aint young anymore, gonna grow up, and think the right way... seriously, feel so unappreciate at times, whatever i do, will he/she appreciate the things i've done? simply, no..
8 more days to pay day.. i left with $30 inside my bank. still wondering how the hell will i survive? the most is get myself on diet, save money, and i wont get fat..its myself who get all these shit problems, wont get anyone to help me out, unless i'm hell shit.. whatever... i'm so tired of everything.. including myself..
i guess, working will numb the pain, it might be tired of working, but i really like it. working full shift yesterday. damn shit lor.. 10am to around 11pm.. i'm really tired, but somehow or rather i didn't think about anything at all.. cause i know, working will kill time, plus i've lots of things to be think instead of those unnecessary things.
Have nothing to be said, just wanna thanks everyone who remember my birthday, and thanks for sms-ing me to wish me happy birthday.. basic theory is on 7th febuary 2005, wish me good luck yeah? i wish i can settle this thing that my dad being asking me to do all along. i hate driving seriously.. whatever. time to bath and work..
XinDai, you know me the best. On the day of my birthday, you sms me, with a simple reply you know what happen to me.. Thanks.. I really appreciate you alot.. Though I didn't say much thing and I've read your blog, and you know what's going on with me.. I dont have anytime to meet you at all, but seriously, thanks.. Thanks for everything.. At least I know in my life, there's someone who care and love me..
Birthday ending in 2hours time. Didn't went out anyway, was only out to book Basic Theory date, that's it? Saw Maia Lee anyway.. Then went over to aunt place.. Slack till night.. Now I'm here. Dye my hair, but look like no different.. Oh well.. I guess next week gonna dye again.. Whatever it is, I'm tired.. Bug me, and I be piss..
Happy birthday to myself.. For those who I expect to SMS me to wish me Happy Birthday, in the end still didn't.. I'm disappointed, really disappointed.. That's all I wanna say, I'm tired. Bye.
I might not reply any SMS/call for the time being, I need peace and need to be left. That's all I wanna say. Some sorry here if I didn't answer..
Its you, who I still wish to get the call from.. But you still didn't call.. You didn't..
my birthday wish will never ever come true..
Happy birthday to myself
Went to work as usual, but people treat me very different. I'm 17 for the last day.. Alot of new stocks to clear, I've done my best, in the end I finish everything in around 4 hours time. Just imaging the number of stocks that came in. More than 300pieces, I guess..
Went for lunch, slack at car park. Went back to work as usual. Serve a bulk purchase before I left for lunch. The customer gave me the dairy as a present. I shall see her this coming Sat/Sun that she promise. =]
Thanks YingYan for the present that you gave. I really like it alot.. Alot.. And thanks to Lester for dropping by to wish me happy birthday. Thanks all the Giordano staffs for the Happy Birthday wishing. Ok whatever. Went to meet Victoria for dinner. Went to eat Pizza Hut, everything on her.. Then went over to OG Point and met Lily..
Went back to Taka to wait for Jee Jee.. Thanks for that present sweetheart. =] Pooh Bear, I like it very much. And follow by that birthday song.. Then Kelvin came down all the way from NTU Hostel to give me the present. Thanks.. Lots of greetings from people like Kenneth, Bradon, Chee Siang, Han Quan, Susu, Devil, Celine[my 2nd incharge from OG Point] and not forgetting XinDai. Only these people remember my birthday? Well, nothing much I can wish for. Those who I really expect to get the greetings from, I didn't get it..
The last time I saw you was when I pass you your birthday present. And I remember that both of us agree that we don't have any time for relationship and maybe that's why we didn't patch back.. Or is it a lie all along? Right from the start you set it up? On the last day of my 17 year old? I get those fucking shit from you?
While walking from CenterPoint towards Ngee Ann City, why I get to see you? And you even say Hi to me? First was that you say you've no time to call me at night to wish me happy birthday, and the next thing I see you outside with a girl by your side and you're holding her hand? Do I deserve this fucking shit from you? Its not him who hurt me that much its you.. The person who read my blog daily, asking me how am I through SMS. But you never called..
I never blame you at all. Always I'm the one who SMS you, call you to check out if you're fine. I change to the way that you always want me to be.. But you didn't even notice about the small tiny changes I did.. I might be having him always on my mouth whenever I blog or I talk about.. But deep in my heart, there's always a place that you stand. But I guess you don't know about it..
You never spare a thought for me at all.. I never blame you. Just take whatever you said from the start as some empty words. Like what I said, I never blame you.. Happy birthday to myself, and thanks for that "big" present that you "gave" I "like" it very much that it bring me to tears.. I can never forget my 18 birthday for the rest of my life..
I'm tired. That's all I wanna say. Wake up at around 6am by my cough. Went to take some medicine and went back to bed. Woke up at around 11 I guess.. But before that woke up by Kelvin. Ok, whatever.
Something happen to grandma, she feel down. And I didn't even get myself time to go over to visit her. Maybe I do it on monday.
Anyway, thanks to Rodneyy and Cooke for dropping by. And thanks for the present. I haven't open it but I believe that I will like it. And thanks to Michelle for dropping by to chat with me.. Haha, then follow by HQ, some sorry, I don't have time to chat with you. And maybe because you came at the wrong time.. And then, thanks to Kenneth for dropping by again. Wonder why today so many people came by? Hmmm.. But after all, thanks everyone. *lOls* Maybe wishing me early birthday ba..
Since now its 16th January, I guess I gonna say about what's going on with my 18th year old birthday. I guess it will be off day on Monday, since Nora told me about it. Some wish which I really hope that it will fullfill. But like what Rodneyy said, as long as I believe, it will happen. =) Thanks pal for that, at least I believe that someone is standing on my side..
Work seems fine, but I hurt myself. =( *sigh* a minor one, I guess will be fine after the rest. I really need bed, tomorrow working from 10am-7pm, and I guess Victoria coming over to accompany me to celebrate my birthday. But no money, celebrate what shit? Ok, whatever. I'm tired, and I wanna sleep. Shall update again if I get the chance to..
Nora was asking why I remove all my piercing, is because I'm 18 soon, I shall be someone who you always want me to be. It might be some silly joke to you, but I'm serious, I do all the changes just because of you. Piercing is totally a turn off to you, and I do it just because I'm serious about you..
If you're reading this, just wanna let you know, you're being miss by me.. Yes, its *you* The same old you. I hope that you will be the first to wish me Happy Birthday..
Will my birthday wish come true...? Its still a big question mark..
Ok, a pretty fine day for me. Woke up by Kelvin. [Requested by me] Thanks leh. But in the end still go back to sleep. Whaha.. Went to WWW alone. WAH VERY ZI BI LEH! Anyway, how's my blog skin? COMMENTS PLEASE!!
Reach there being approach by that guy who work in the office. Then he ask if I'm alone, of course I say yes. But he don't believe me. *lols* Anyway, went to toilet to apply sun block SPH 20. Then went to locker to put my stuffs and off I go.. Went to err? Can't remember what rides. And I realise that most of the staffs there ARE NEW!! *scream* I only manage to find like 4 of them I know?
Anyway, the guy who work in the office approach me when I was about to leave. Then we went to play slide up and ulah lah together. *lols* so damn fun sia.. At least I'm talking to someone.. Then I keep disturbing the guards as usual. *loLs* Manage to get a little tanned. But not too much. I don't really like real tanned now. Abit will do..
Went to meet someone at Suntec.. Then eat Pasta as usual.. Then slack.. Jee Jee came alone.. Then 3 of us went slacking as usual.. Sit at the fountain there.. Listen songs.. Didn't manage to shop at all. But still alright. At least time goes by.. Anyway, pictures time! Taken today where 3 of us went slacking..
Myself and Wei Ming. Anyway, this taken back then, lazy to upload.
Myself and Jee Jee
My darling.. Isn't she sweet?
Yummy yummy..
Kelvin and me
Got shock of his life
Lost and found?
Pick up that small pack of cig. *lols* creative eh?
*tagboard*
kAi Ni: Haha.. I also dont know what I reply.. I didnt know we share the same home.. *lols* free drop by taka leh!!
jovan: Thanks for reading.. And, err.. I didnt know I have alot of words in passion.. I just write whatever I feel like writing?
ong: Hi ong.. Some sorry, didnt dig out time for you.. =(
J Ying: She real sucks. I think she's more naggy then you and my mum...! I think if my mum + your mum combine, she still win...
*argh* I'm pissed!! With the SIC[Senior In Charge] I really hate her!! *scream* All NAC staffs should know who am I refering to.
Ok this is what happen. After I sign in at about 1430, I went to share things with my 2nd-in-charge. Then as time goes by, it was around 1530. Then Sharron came in, [She's someone from the main office] The sales aint that good, but thank God I got 1 big bulk and 2 mini bulk purchase. =X [Bulk = purchase above $150] And lucky I got praise by her. I went smiling and smiling.. *lols*
Ok, that''s not important. She highlitghted about the display. So I went for my break with is about 1625 until about 1720 I came back. [I don't take an hour break when I'm alone I already do whatever things VERY SLOW! But still got extra time.] Then I start to iron the display. [If you're free, drop by Ngee Ann City Giordano to see around the Junior session.]
I start to iron until I ki siao. There are so many display, if I'm not wrong more than 50 pieces. I become crazy leh. I iron until my hand damn tired. Cat ask me to stop awhile and rest my hand, but I insist to iron till half than I stop. I stop which is around 1800, Shawn sign in. He need to use the iron, so I help him to iron, then I continue ironing all the clothes. Then shop manager came telling me that I've been using the iron for a long time, she gave me another 15minutes to finish it.
15minutes pass, I left with like 1 of the stack left uniron. And I'm bored, I mean real bored with ironing. So I pass it back to the men's session. I gave it to them, there the SIC came in to disturb me. HELLO!? In the first place, she's not someone from the Junior session, why she wanna be so busy body!? wtf wtf!!
Myself : "Err blah blah blah, who wanna use the steam iron ar?"
She : " I not sure leh, maybe you can put it here.." *I push it around*
M: "Ok, then I leave it here alright." *start walking away*
S: "Girl ar, you finish ironing with everything anot?"
M: "No leh, left afew pieces lor.. "
S: "Then why wanna leave it unironing? *piss voice* Left a few pieces ma, finish it lah, where got people do half way one.. Do things must do everything ma, somemore our shop being highlighted leh, not good ok?"
M: "Hen na hen na.." *Start pushing back to Junior session, dump onto shop manager*
Shop Manager: "Eh girl, pass it to blah blah blah, we need to iron our display." *She took it away from me*
M: "..... "
S: "Eh SM, why take it away from her? Give it back to her.."
SM: *blur* "Why? She has been using for a long time, now our turn to use ok.."
S: "She............................" *too soft to hear*
*SM pass the steam iron back to me*
S: "Eh girl, I give you another 10minutes to iron whatever you haven't iron ok?" *smile at me*
*Piss face*
M: "K lah k lah.."
Then I start all over again, iron iron and IRON.. 10minutes to do like so many clothes? Wtf? I didn't give 100% ironing, I anyhow anyhow. She give me 10mins, I give her 10mins work lor. I only know the damn steam kanna my hand, and it turn RED!!! *scream*
That's not the end, inside the storeroom, she act to be nice. *puke* whatever.
S: "Yang, next time do things must do all the way, don't do half way alright. Not good, somemore our shop being highlighted, don't let them have the chance to do that again alright.. "
M: "k lah.."
I really very angry lor. So fuck sia.. *scream* Be going WWW later I guess. Look like its abit cloudy, so I doubt be going. I wanna get tanned!! Yes...! Ok whatever, gonna pack my room which look like some random dog house. *lols* Bye for now, update soon..
Just reach home not long.. Shall have a small little update about myself recently. Anyway, my brother is leaving Singapore tonight. 10+ pm flight. I guess I dont have any chance to send him off.. Cause I'm working from 6pm till close. I thought his flight was yesterday night, thats why I work from 10am - 7pm..
Anyway, was sick some days back. Down with flu, sore throat, cough and a little bit of fever.. Well, a day of MC.. Didn't have much sleep.. I think because the medication too strong.. Currently still with cough as well as flu.. The fever no more... I think because I didnt take the medication on time, because of work. Sigh.. Still wondering how long can I be holding on with it..
went to Cat's chalet the day before.. She's actually my Giordano Junior[NAC] 2nd in-charge. Anyway, its her 20th birthday[if I didnt remember wrongly] Went there with some of the NAC team friends to slack.. Then chill out, talk rubbish.. Stay there till around 1+ close to 2 then reach home.. Change, wash up, and sleep..
Yesterday woke up very early. Was on the morning shift.. Met up with Jee Jee to go work together.. Then I sleep all the way.. I feel bad. =( But what to do? I really very tired!! Work till 730pm.. Sign out already went to try on the Junior item.. SKIRT!! I swear its nice! [though a little childish] *lols* but I really like it. Ask my shop manage about it, she say its nice. So I bought it.. Then I went to Fox, bought a long sleve top...... And I head home..
Can you imaging? Orchard is actually my 2nd home.. And everyone seems to be going town during their free time? And I get to go there everyday? And I'm so BORED with it. I swear!! And is like I close eyes can walk. Ahahah! Kidding.
Reach home, online MSN, get to chat with one of my friend.. Then in the end we head out for supper.. *lols* Went to Changi Village.. Wah, so many ........ Sexy leh.. >.<" Then went to I also dont know where.. To see planes fly off.. lOls~ That's nice.. =D Slack, and head home.. On the way home got road check or whatever you call.. But didnt ask us to stop.. So manage to reach home fast.. AH!! ITS SO COLD I SWEARRR!!!
Its a long time since I've reply tagboard.. Some sorry here! Just lazy.. =X
J Ying : FRIDAY OFF DAY!!!!!!!!!!!! TAKE NOTEE!!!!
summotay: Its alright. Already over.. When I free I will chill out with you and Ong.. Dont worry alright.. I'm sorry that I didnt turn up the other time, was sick.. =(
shinz: Hi sucko... *lols* Right?
lingg: I don't school? Anyway, take care.. Enjoy youself in school.. When I'm free I will drop by your blog!! :D
jos: Hi Josella.. A very long time since we met...
kAi Ni: Kai nI!! That day I went to some CC outing at Somerset.. Then HumorBoi came along. He thought we're close.. *lols*
carole: Hi hi.. Happy new year[its very late, truly sorry] Yah yah, counting down to my birthday.. =D
alan: Hi Alan kor. A thousands of apology about Xmas eve. Didnt manage to dig out time to celebrate with you.. =(
summotay: Yeah, I really hope it does..
xiang: Happy schoolinG! Do take care of yourself alright...!
Now that we're 'friends' I'll pretend that I'm fine. But when I'm around you I wish that you were still mine.. To be around you I feel hurt, but you will never know it.. I'll keep all this pain inside and never let it out, especially to you..
Together forever, you said from the start. You said I'll never break your heart. I liked you so much, it maked me wanna blush.. It was such bliss, you were my angel from up above but why did it have to end like this?
I realise that the world doesnt stop spinning just because i'm sad.. the world still move on, but why am i still standing at the same spot where you left me 8months back? why did you do this to me? like Dr. Ernest Wong said, if someone gonna leave you, it means that someone new will be coming along.. i just dont understand why whenever i feel like moving on, someone will provoke me.. sigh.. whatever.. .. ..
its you, i still missing..
no idea what to update, and I'm doing good still.. down with flu as well as sore throat.. *sigh* i over spend my money.. i guess this month, will be poor. =( turning 18 soon.. no presents please.. i will appreciate if you gonna give me cash.. *LOL*
pictures to prove myelf.. =] taken with my work friend, Jee Jee..
and as usual, i love him still..
I've got a piece of paper; But it's Empty
{/ --
Monday, January 31, 2005 ( 1/31/2005 11:26:00 PM )
A sucky off day for me. *scream* did i just use the word sucks? hmmm.. i guess.. anyway, if you continue reading, you will realise how SUCKS my day could be.
woke up at around 12pm, went out to have my lunch at my dad place. is like waited for so long, then the food came, but when it came, totally don't feel like eating my favourite food, i throw away in fact.. went home to slack awhile before i left the house.. look for my stuffs high and low, in the end i cant find the stuffs i'm looking for..
went out, nearly fell down. thanks god, i didn't fall.. went to bus stop, 89 just left. i wanted to go hougang to meet my friend before i go down to dye + highlight my hair. in the end, i cancel the appointment with my friend.. reach white sands, went to atm to withdraw money, i wait, and my turn, fu*k the machine, "eat" up my card even before i enter my pin.. *SCREAM*
i don't have any cash with me. damn it man.. what's next was i call the hotline calling for help. in the end, the person ask me for my NRIC no. name, account no. how the hell am i suppose to remember so many numbers? In the end i told her i can't remember, guess what? she ask me when was the last time i withdraw money, at where, how much? i'm so piss and there you are asking me those questions..!
and in the end, i told her: "what am i suppose to do now? i have no cash with me, and i need cash urgently" her reply was: "i'm sorry, there's nothing i can do." wtf!! can you imaging how piss i am? she ask me how i want my card to be replace? by mail or i go down the bank to make a new one? i thought i can get it on sunday, but instead, she said that all the banks are close. WTF! might as well down answer?
in the end, went to bedok to take money from HQ. THANKS A MILLION!! if not, i have no idea what the hell am i suppose to do.. =D then went down to dye + highlight my hair. hmm.. reasonable price, shall not expose how much is it. *lols* then went over to my uncle place to slack.. then went over to Tiong Barhu to meet him!! =D~
waited for this day for a very long time.. waited outside for him.. 9pm! i saw him walking out of the shop, waited awhile till he gets everything done.. went over to v8 to eat.. haha, he still remember where i love to eat.. took me such a long time to crack my head to remember.. =X
slack at Bugis after that.. went smiling all the way.. =D how i wish that you're able to meet me everyday.. oh man, i love that day! =D although bad start of the day, but YOU manage to light up my day.. =]
{/ --
Sunday, January 30, 2005 ( 1/30/2005 01:02:00 PM )
Sorry that I love you, sorry that I care
Sorry that I've taken for granted the love that we share
Sorry for the heartaches, sorry for the pains
Sorry for what you gave if I didn't give back the same
Sorry for the waiting, sorry to waste your time
Sorry if I'm not worth it
Sorry if you don't understand why I do what I do
Sorry for my feelings if they're not enough
Sorry if we can't work through all this stuff
Sorry if all I do is cause us to fight
Sorry if I don't say the things you want me to say
Sorry if I don't measure up to what you want me to be
Sorry if I can't be enough to make you just want me
Sorry for apologizing but I don't know what to do
{/ --
( 1/30/2005 03:29:00 AM )
All eyes on the calendar
Another year I claim of total indifference
To here the days pile up
With decisions to be made
I'm sure all of them were wrong
Into this song, I send myself
And with these drinks I plan to collapse and forget
This wasted year
Devoted friends, they disappear
I'm sorry about the SMS and needing you
Some decisions you don't make
I guess it's like breathing and not wanting to
There are some things that you can't fake
I guess that it is typical
To cling to memories you'll never get back again
And to sory through old photographs of a summer long ago
Or a friend that you used to know
And there, below his frozen face
You wrote the name and that ancient date
And you can't believe he is really gone
When all that's left is a fucking song
I'm sorry about the SMS and disturbing you
I know its late
But thank you for replying because I needed to
Some things just can't wait
{/ --
( 1/30/2005 01:52:00 AM )
I'm waiting for 9pm!! =D~~
{/ --
Friday, January 28, 2005 ( 1/28/2005 11:47:00 AM )
reach home early today, still wondering why i didn't hang out outside but came straight home aftter that.. wondering why am i doing all these things? for myself? or just to please my parents? they've been nagging all along about coming home late, but i didnt even listen to them, cause i believe i'm no longer a kid, i know what am i doing..
sentosa trip mostly be cancelling, need to help out at dad's place. might be going to bbq at night, if YOU wanna tag along, please let me know.. if not, dinner will be great. =] i just wanna see you, even if just to travel down all the way to meet you, to accompany you to take the train home, im please with it. i aint someone who can request much.
anyway, work seems fine, just that i have my break late.. nearly 530pm then have my break. i'm hungry and lotsa things for me to do..! *scream* didnt hit target, but pump alot of balloons today, and GOSH, i hate balloons!! if happen you're at town, drop by taka.. all the balloons i pump it. *sigh* so tired..
just change my big sister to Cat, i still prefer Nora. maybe because she's nice? gosh, not trying to be mean, but just that i've nothing much to talk to Cat, only work, work and work.. Nora is different, we can be talking about guys, customers, whatever.. and Cat, is more to work. Well, maybe she's more to work is work, play is play that kind.. need lotsa time to understand her more. well, i dont have any doubts that she's a nice big sister. cause she teach me alot today! =)
meeting rodney and cooke tomorrow. hope that this outing will be fun. they're looking for me after work. i've no idea why, but just wanna chill out at town.. i've no idea why i dont feel like meeting you guys[you should know who you are], just need to be peaceful at times. maybe whenever you guys ask me out, i'm not free.. wrong timing, like what i've said..
i aint avoiding anyone. just that i need peace at time, and i wanna be who i wanna be with.. imaging if i finish work at 8, i reach pasir ris at 9+ what can we do? and somemore i'm working the next day, i need to get home early to rest.. you think i be able to have enough sleep? i'm not trying to say anything, just that i want you guys to know my part.. that's all i wanna say, understand me anot, its up to you.. =) im tired, good night..
{/ --
( 1/28/2005 01:21:00 AM )
I asked God to take me along with Him.. But in the end, He told me to enjoy life, and He said that somehow, the *him* that I've been waiting all along will be back some day..
What God told me was true? Or is it a lie all along? Is its only my illusion or is it a reality? Will the day that I always wanted it to happen will be reality instead of a dream?
I'm lost and shattered, the way you react seems to be some lies about what you told me.. Your actions doesn't prove the way you want my life to be.. Please, tell me what to do..
{/ --
Thursday, January 27, 2005 ( 1/27/2005 10:04:00 AM )
a recent picture of mine...
{/ --
( 1/27/2005 09:32:00 AM )
The meaning of the 3 magical words -> I Love You <-
When you are only 5 years old, I said I love you
You asked me: "What is it?"
When you are 15 years old, I said I love you
You blused, you look down and smile.
When you are 20 years old, I said I love you
You put your head on my shoulder and hold my hand, afraid that I might disappear.
When you are 25 years old, I said I love you
You prepare breakfast and serve it in front of me, and kiss my forhead said: "You better be quick, it's gonna be late."
When you are 30 years old, I said I love you
You said: "If you really love me, please come back early after work."
When you are 40 years old, I said I love you
You are cleaning the dinning tablle and said: "Ok dear, but it's time for you to help our child with his/her revision."
When you are 50 years old, I said I love you
You are knitting and you laugh at me.
When you are 60 years old, I said I love you
You smile at me.
When you are 70 years old, I said I love you
We sit on the rocking chair with our glasses on, I'm reading your love letters that you sent to me 50 years ago..
When you are 80 years old, I said I love you
I didn't say anything but cried. That day must be the happiest day of my life, beacuse you said you love me..
[i love you] is said because there is a pure thought that was hoping this magical 3 words can bring you happiness and futurity... And because of having such pure thoughts... people which have true heart to a person gives out all his/hercourage to tell : I love you..
Message to YOU: If you do cherish me, let me know.. I will cherish you like how you cherish me..
{/ --
( 1/27/2005 03:51:00 AM )
Im still waiting for your reply.. Since yesterday, i've been sms-ing you about this sunday plan. But until now, I still get no repond from you. Are YOU avoiding me? If yes, let me know. I'll stay back and I wont sms you.. I will just leave you alone.. let me know, i'll do whatever you want me to do.. i change for you, but did you know about it? i doubt.. it might be some small little things to you, but have you ask yourself why am i doing these changes just because of you? have you ask yourself a little what have you done for me in return? nothing.. not even something that you do to touch me..
if really loving you is getting back all those shit things, i guess, i will choose to let you be who you wanna be, let you be what you wanna be. let myself be the same old ebel again.. piercing and punk is what i wanna be.. maybe i shouldnt have remove all those piercings that i've done.. i shouldn't.. i shouldn't have.. and i shouldn't have cry for you..
{/ --
Wednesday, January 26, 2005 ( 1/26/2005 08:35:00 PM )
There's a pain that sleeps inside
It sleeps with just one eye
And awakens the moment that you leave
Though I try to look away
The pain it still remains
Only leaving when you're next to me
Do you know, that everytime you're near
Everybody else seems far away
So can you come and make them disappear
Make them disappear and we can stay
So I stand and look around
Distracted by the sounds
Of everyone
So I stand and look around
Distracted by the sounds
Of everyone and everything I see
And I search through every face
Without a single trace, of the person
The person that I need
Do you know, that everytime you're near
Everybody else seems far away
So can you come and make them disappear
Make them disappear and we can stay
Can you make them disappear?
Make them disappear
There's a pain that sleeps inside
Sleeps with just one eye
And awakens, the moment that you leave
And I search through every face
Without a single trace, of the person
The person that I need
Do you know, that everytime you're near
Everybody else seems far away
So can you come and make them disappear
Make them disappear and we can stay
Do you know how much you mean to me? Do you know how much pains I gain from you? Do you know what state you cause me to be now? I'm shattered, and I still put on a fake smile to let others know that I'm fine. When you hurt me once more, how am I suppose to react? How am I suppose to know what to do when you don't even look at me? Maybe I sucks, that's why you don't even care...
{/ --
( 1/26/2005 06:27:00 PM )
Just reach home not long.. Finish work at 2pm, but waited for Jee Jee.. Then Didi came down to pass me present, so nice of him. Anyway, thanks for that belated one.. Went to Far East for lunch with her, then saw her friend. Her friend is actually a Chinese but can speak damn good Malay.. *clap clap*
Something nice to share that I found in Friendster...
She was not beautiful. Nothing about her was extraordinary. Nothing about her made her stand out in a crowd.
She grew up in a family of six and being the eldestshe learned responsibility at an early age. As she grew stronger and brighter, she instilled asort of light and cheer to whomever she met. She was not beautiful, but she made others feel better about themselves. She meets a rebel boy who thinks he is all man befriending him, she teaches him. She teaches him how to read and a little boost, the ' man' needed to go to college. They become fast friends and she fell fast in love with her rugged handsome student.
The ' man' then finds himself in love with a girl. A girl who was so beautiful. Her hair was a hallow of light around her. Her eyes the bluest blue of the ocean.
'Like an angel' he tells his tutor' like a beautiful angel.'The girl swallows a lump at her throat.
She was not beautiful. She did not posses the heart of the one he loved, but she did not care. As long as he was happy, she would be happy, or so she tried to. She helped write the most beautiful letters to his angel. All the time visioning it was she herself recieving those very letters. And so the girl helped him choose the right clothes, say the right words, and buy the right gifts for his angel.
His angel brought him much joy and much pain to the girl who cried behind her smiles. But that never stopped her from giving more thanshe will ever receive. Then one day, all of heartbroke loose, the angel he loved left him for another man. A richer more successful man. The boy was stunned. He was so hurt, he did not speak for days. The girl went to him, he cried on her shoulder and she cried with him. He was hurt and she was too.
Time went by and so wounds heal, the boy realizes something about his friend/tutor. Something he never realized before. How her laughter sounded heavenly and how her smiles brightened up the darkest days, or how simply beautiful she looked to him!
Beautiful. This plain, simple girl was beautiful to him. And he began to fall, fall so in love with this beautiful girl. On one day, he picked up all his courage to see her. He walked to her house, nervous, and fidgeting, running his thoughts over and over his head. He was going to tell her how beautiful she was to him. He was going to tell her how wonderfully in love he was with her. He knocked.
No one was home.
The next day, he found out that the beautiful girl he fell in love with had a brain tumor that put her into acoma. The doctors were grim and the family decided to let her go.
One final time he got to see her, he held her hand, he stroked her hair and he cried for this beautiful girl. He cried, but it was too late. The beautiful girl was buried and the heavens broke. Out a beautiful spring shower, a cry for their loss. She was the most beautiful girl in the world and she had taught the rebel boy-man to love and what it is to be loved.
She was the most beautiful girl in the world.
Look around. Isn't there a lot of plain faces?
Take a good look. A real good look, or you might just miss out that beautiful person.
Forever.
I should know.... wouldn't I?
If you had a heart, you would send this to as much people as possible to keep the memory of this person alive. If you don't, then your pretty ugly deep inside, so send this. If you don't, you'll alsoloose the love of your life, so you don't really havea choice.
{/ --
Monday, January 24, 2005 ( 1/24/2005 11:04:00 PM )
I don't know why.. So don't ask me why.. Don't ask me why I cry for you, don't ask me why I gonna wait for you.. I think I've made up my mind.. To wait.. Till.. I don't know when.. I just feel like.. And I feel like waiting..
Maybe God above will pity me.. Maybe He will give me a chance to be with the person who I always want to be with.. Maybe He won't even care about me.. Maybe he will just let me die in this way.. The way that I wish I can never be..
I'm still wondering why God is treating me in this way? Still wondering why Tsunami causes so many people to lose their lifes and lose their loved ones.. Am I the most poor thing girl in the world? I'm not.. Cause I know there are more people out there who are most heartache than me..
But I don't know why I can't smile.. Are you gonna teach me how? Teach me the way to have a smile that can last forever?
{/ --
( 1/24/2005 10:30:00 PM )
Another day.. Well, its 24 of the month again.. I hate this date alot. If you guys being reading my blog all along, you guys will know..
Anyway, went to work today, reach Taka at around 0940, have my breakfast, then start work.. Nora sign in at around 11, then we start our craps again.. Joanne came down, ask me to sign out for lunch! WHICH IS AROUND 1220!!! SO EARLY!!!
No choice, sign out, accompany one of the staff to bank, then went to buy food.. Then came back, eat.. And then, what's next was I sign in at 1310, then Joanne start her craps again.. She ask Nora to sign out for her lunch. Wth? If I not wrong, Nora also say that its so EARLY! What to do, a bad day for the week.. Staffs alot on the selling floor. *sigh*
Share with one of my big sister[Part timer] that I remove all my piercing, she drop her jaw, with a "WAH ARE YOU SURE?" I guess I scare her to death.. She know I like piercing, but she didn't know why am I doing all these, and who am I doing for. I just remain silent and walk off..
I know myself very well that once I'm determine I will do whatever its good for me. Even if it turn out to be some random digusting stuffs, I will still do it.. Stubborn you can call me, whatever I won't even care.. Anyway, went to Wild Wild Wet just now, didn't have much tanned. A cold day, with hot sun? Haha.. Slack around and had my dinner outside..
Reach home not long. And my silly girl... Ying Yan, its alright[about your SMS].. Sometimes, I rather be alone when I'm vexed rather than having someone beside me.. I appreciate everything about it...
Will be going to Sentosa this Sunday. As what I said earlier on, going there to support Wild Wild Wet team. =D I just love the people there. I not sure where it is, but I hope to drop by. Being such a long time since I've step into Sentosa.. Oh yeah, I went there last December? *Oops* Might be going with Jee Jee & Hitomi or XinDai, if not, I'm alone. Oh well.. I ain't gonna ask anyone anymore about wanting to tag along. Cause I HATE IT! If no one wanna tag along with me, fine, I go myself..
I hate empty promises.. Promise to go to some random place (where ever I'm addicted to example Wild Wild Wet), in the end? Don't even dare to reply my SMS or even MSN message. Well, whatever shit. Don't appreciate whatever I do, fine, get out of my sight. I don't need you as my friend. Like it anot? I won't care. That's the way I am, not please with me? Delete me from your MSN contact list as well as my HP number?
That's all I wanna say, and I'm hell tired.. I hate this world, especially with you bugging by my side that makes my life more SUCKS. YUCKS!!When I appreciate you and when I love you, where the fuck are you? You don't even care about any shit that happen to me. And why must I be the one who care for you? I ain't gonna be some silly girl anymore.. That's the way I gonna be now..
*sigh* don't ask me what happen, I just feel sucks at times. Whatever. Time for bed, bug me and you gonna get FUCK by me. I mean it. =]
{/ --
( 1/24/2005 10:00:00 PM )
Something nice to share..
There are moments in life when you miss someone
so much that you just want to pick them from
your dreams and hug them for real!
When the door of happiness closes, another opens;
but often times we look so long at
the closed door that we don't see the one
which has been opened for us.
Don't go for looks; they can deceive.
Don't go for wealth; even that fades away.
Go for someone who makes you smile,
because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright.
Find the one that makes your heart smile.
Dream what you want to dream;
go where you want to go;
be what you want to be,
because you have only one life
and one chance to do all the things you want to do.
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet,
enough trials to make you strong,
enough sorrow to keep you human,
and enough hope to make you happy.
The happiest of people don't necessarily
have the best of everything;
they just make the most of
everything that comes along their way.
The brightest future will always
be based on a forgotten past;
you can't go forward in life until
you let go of your past failures and heartaches.
Please get as many people to read this
who mean something to you;
to those who have touched your life in one way or another;
to those who make you smile when you really need it;
to those who make you see the brighter side of things when you are really down;
to those whose friendship you appreciate;
to those who are so meaningful in your life.
If you don't send it, don't worry, nothing bad will happen to you;
you will just miss out on the opportunity
to brighten someone's day with this message!!!
Don't count the years--
count the memories...........
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away!
{/ --
( 1/24/2005 01:28:00 AM )
I got something to share.. Nice.. Get it from Chilli crap..
Many years ago in a small Indian village, a farmer had the misfortune of owing a large sum of money to a village moneylender. The moneylender, who was old and ugly, fancied the farmer's beautiful daughter. So he proposed a bargain. He said he would forgo the farmer's debt if he could marry his daughter.
Both the farmer and his daughter were horrified by the proposal. So the cunning money-lender suggested that they let providence decide the matter.
He told them that he would put a black pebble and a white pebble into an empty money bag. Then the girl would have to pick one pebble from the bag.
If she picked the black pebble, she would become his wife and her father's debt would be forgiven. If she picked the white pebble she need not marryhim and her father's debt would still be forgiven. But if she refused to pick a pebble, her father would be thrown into jail.
All the villagers were standing on a pebble strewn path in the farmer's field. As they talked, the moneylender bent over to pick up two pebbles.
As he picked them up, the sharp-eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two black pebbles and put them into the bag. He then asked the girl to pick a pebble from the bag. Now, imagine you were standing in the field.
What would you have done if you were the girl? If you had to advise her, what would you have told her?
Careful analysis would produce three possibilities:
1. The girl should refuse to take a pebble.
2. The girl should show that there were two black pebbles in the bag and expose the money-lender as a cheat.
3. The girl should pick a black pebble and sacrifice herself in order to save her father from his debt and imprisonment.
Take a moment to ponder over the story. The above story is used with the hope that it will make us appreciate the difference between lateral and logical thinking.The girl's dilemma can not be solved with traditional logical thinking. Think of the consequences if she chooses the above logical answers.
What would you recommend to the Girl to do?
Well, what she did was :
The girl put her hand into the moneybag and drew out a pebble. Without looking at it, she fumbled and let it fall onto the pebble-strewn path where it immediately became lost among all the other pebbles.
"Oh, how clumsy of me," she said. "But never mind, if you look into the bag for the one that is left, you will be able to tell which pebble I picked."
Since the remaining pebble is black, it must be assumed that she had picked the white one. And since the money-lender dared not admit his dishonesty, the girl changed what seemed an impossible situationinto an extremely advantageous one.
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Most complex problems do have a solution. It is only that we don't attempt to think.
Impossible is a word only to be found in the dictionary of fools.
{/ --
Sunday, January 23, 2005 ( 1/23/2005 11:59:00 PM )
Who did I cried for till my eyes all red? That's the best emotion I given in a relationship.. Love is a journey that's simply makes you travell in the most difficult circumstances, but yet it's Heaven's proud creation.. Maybe it takes 500 reincarnation to have this chance of you crossing in my life, the only answer for you crossing pass my life, is fate.. Thou you never stay long, it's alright, maybe it's the easiest and best way for you to carry on to be the next stage of life..
Again and again I fall, fate isn't that kind after all.. Tears may drop, heart may shatter, flame of love will never be easily rekindle.. But, who will understand the pains and hurts I've been through? Will it be you?
{/ --
( 1/23/2005 02:52:00 AM )
Anyway, the hotest blog is back? Vote for me? Again? I'm tired, time for bed... The blow links everyone..
http://www.thehottestblogs.com/index.php?action=vote&id=15
{/ --
( 1/23/2005 01:05:00 AM )
Its 23rd of the month again.. Time passes so fast.. Already a 18 year old girl.. Am I still as stubborn as last time?
Anyway, was sick the day before. I've no idea why recently i'm down with headaches. *scream* and it sucks. Seriously.. *sigh* Went to work at 2pm, then went home at 4pm.. The pains are killing me, how I wish someone just take a knife and stab me to death. Just getting bored with this shit life I'm having now. That's not important anyway..
Went back to Pasir Ris to 24hours clinic, went to see the doctor.. And the doctor measure my blood pressure. Then went to check my eyes.. He said: "Seriously, I've no idea what cause you to have headache, and I think that you didn't suffer from any serious illness" WAH LAU, can you imaging if your doctor said this to you, how will you feel? My face turn pale, and I walk out of the room, feeling giddy as well....
Took my medicine after my lunch cum dinner at my dad shop.. Sleep there till around 9pm, head towards coffee shop for my dinner, and head home.. I've no idea why I still feeling headache after the medicine, and I guess the medicine doesn't help... I still feeling yucks at all times..
Have some mood swing yesterday. I've no idea why.. Keep crying and crying for no reason.. Maybe too much things to be said. I guess, better be left unsaid.. If really, I gonna choose among he and you, I will rather choose you then him, cause I know you cherish me more then he do.. I hope the "YOU" out there know who am I refering to.. The person who read my blog everyday.. Who used to wake me up when I nap.. Who never makes me fall.. But now, everything change, and you're the one who makes me fall instead of him.. But you never know how hurt I could be..
{/ --
Friday, January 21, 2005 ( 1/21/2005 02:39:00 AM )
the last song to dedicate my feelings..
In the years to come
Will you think about these moments that we shared
In the years to come
Are you gonna think it over
And how we lived each day with no regrets
Nothing lasts forever though we want it to
The road ahead holds different dreams for me and you
Sometimes goodbye, though it hurts in your heart
Is the only way for destiny
Sometimes goodbye, though it hurts
Is the only way now for you and me
Though it's the hardest thing to say
I'll miss your love in every way
So say goodbye
But don't you cry
Cause true love never dies
In a year from now
Maybe there'll be things we'll wish we'd never said
In a year from now
Maybe we'll see each other
Standing on the same street corner though it rains
Each and every end is always written in the stars
If only I could stop the world
I'd make this last
Sometimes goodbye, so it hurts in your heart
Is the only way for destiny
Sometimes goodbye, so it hurts
Is the only way now for you and me
Though it's the hardest thing to say
I'll miss your love in every way
So say goodbye
But don't you cry
Cause true love never dies
And when you need my arms to run into
I'll come for you
Nothing will ever change the way I feel
Sometimes goodbye, so it hurts in your heart
Is the only way for destiny
Sometimes goodbye, so it hurts,
Is the only way now for you and me
Though it's the hardest thing to say
I'll miss your love in every day
So say goodbyeBut don't you cry
Because a true love never dies
{/ --
( 1/21/2005 01:39:00 AM )
trying to delete some of the photos and MSN log, but in the end i read up tons of sad things. trying to delete some of them, but in the end, my brain just became block, and i've no idea what's the next thing i gonna do..
still remember that time, how hard i tried to get marc.. all the things i went through.. the hardship, the pains, and then finally we're together after some time of struggling.. sweetly in love... ups and downs we went through together, too much of memories that we shared..
the last photo taken with him..
that was taken long ago.. months back.. going to be a year of our sepration. well, he's happy with his life, so just let it be. no more waiting, ain't gonna be some stubborn girl here.. he teach me how to be strong in with my life.. never give up easily..
after that, happen to know andy.. and realise that he from the same primary school as me.. then we get to chat on phone everyday till very late.. sure meet up during weekends to slack? went to eat steamboat with jess they all.. at that time we're not even that close, but somehow or rather, feelings do come up, and yes we're together before, but its only a week..
the only picture taken.. [look sucks anyway]
he change too much till i cant even remember who is he.. and yes, during my birthday eve, he's the one i see, its not marc. marc did share with me about his relationship with his girl, but not andy.. and he just say that they together not for long.. oh well... he teach me to be a girl instead of a punk..
a guy who can really click on with me very well. one of the best guy friend i've encounter. time cause us to have "distance" in between us, and i hope we'll be like last time, so close, and so cheerful.. nothing will bring us down.. you teach me to be a punk instead of a girl.
the lovely photo that we last snap.
my lovely girl.. she's someone who can really make me smile when i see her.. everything i left unsaid, she will know what happen.. i no need to go in details but she will know what's going on with my life. a simple word that i said, she will know the mood i've encounter. always my pal in www, enjoy doing every single thing, including her telling me how monya miss nelson and stuffs..
yingyan, every single thing happen i sure tell her.. she's someone who know alot of things about me.. i will always share with her when i feel low.. after being left alone for some times, she will always console me.. she always scold me when i'm too stubborn, always want me to forget about marc, but turn out to be the other way.. she know my limit, she know what i can do, what i cant do.. she always understand me that well... even if i left unsaid, she will get the idea of what's happening..
my precious classmates.. its like so damn long since we met up.. and seriously my time management is F9, and i've no idea why i cant find any time to meet up with anyone.. like KS, or even Ong.. though you guys have plan for me on my birthday, but thousands of apology, i've no time for you guys.. if happen you guys read this, please accept my apology.. i really miss the fun i have out there..
seriously, dont ask me why am i blogging about all these.. i just feel like saying everything out.. and whatever happen when i'm 17, its over.. never gonna happen again. cause i think and i believe that history will never repeat.[though sometimes it happen] and i know that tomorrow will be a better day for me..
18 already, old enough to think what's right and what's wrong for me.. ain't gonna be a kid waiting for someone to return, although i really hope that he will be back for me. but since he's already attach, why am i still hoping that he will come back? since they're blissfully in love, and he's happy with his life, i shall let it be..
things happen for a reason, i'm sure God create this scence for some reasons. i shouldnt have doubt with it.. i dont want to have anymore mistakes like what i've done in the the past.. like my MSN nick, wipe away my tears and be strong again.. i believe i will, cause i know i can do it. give me time, and i will prove my everything...
{/ --
Thursday, January 20, 2005 ( 1/20/2005 10:27:00 AM )
18 for 2 days.. was still wondering why the fuck am i still having those kids thinking. *sigh* aint young anymore, gonna grow up, and think the right way... seriously, feel so unappreciate at times, whatever i do, will he/she appreciate the things i've done? simply, no..
8 more days to pay day.. i left with $30 inside my bank. still wondering how the hell will i survive? the most is get myself on diet, save money, and i wont get fat..its myself who get all these shit problems, wont get anyone to help me out, unless i'm hell shit.. whatever... i'm so tired of everything.. including myself..
i guess, working will numb the pain, it might be tired of working, but i really like it. working full shift yesterday. damn shit lor.. 10am to around 11pm.. i'm really tired, but somehow or rather i didn't think about anything at all.. cause i know, working will kill time, plus i've lots of things to be think instead of those unnecessary things.
Have nothing to be said, just wanna thanks everyone who remember my birthday, and thanks for sms-ing me to wish me happy birthday.. basic theory is on 7th febuary 2005, wish me good luck yeah? i wish i can settle this thing that my dad being asking me to do all along. i hate driving seriously.. whatever. time to bath and work..
XinDai, you know me the best. On the day of my birthday, you sms me, with a simple reply you know what happen to me.. Thanks.. I really appreciate you alot.. Though I didn't say much thing and I've read your blog, and you know what's going on with me.. I dont have anytime to meet you at all, but seriously, thanks.. Thanks for everything.. At least I know in my life, there's someone who care and love me..
{/ --
Monday, January 17, 2005 ( 1/17/2005 10:00:00 PM )
Birthday ending in 2hours time. Didn't went out anyway, was only out to book Basic Theory date, that's it? Saw Maia Lee anyway.. Then went over to aunt place.. Slack till night.. Now I'm here. Dye my hair, but look like no different.. Oh well.. I guess next week gonna dye again.. Whatever it is, I'm tired.. Bug me, and I be piss..
Happy birthday to myself.. For those who I expect to SMS me to wish me Happy Birthday, in the end still didn't.. I'm disappointed, really disappointed.. That's all I wanna say, I'm tired. Bye.
I might not reply any SMS/call for the time being, I need peace and need to be left. That's all I wanna say. Some sorry here if I didn't answer..
Its you, who I still wish to get the call from.. But you still didn't call.. You didn't..
{/ --
( 1/17/2005 02:57:00 AM )
my birthday wish will never ever come true..
{/ --
( 1/17/2005 01:36:00 AM )
Happy birthday to myself
Went to work as usual, but people treat me very different. I'm 17 for the last day.. Alot of new stocks to clear, I've done my best, in the end I finish everything in around 4 hours time. Just imaging the number of stocks that came in. More than 300pieces, I guess..
Went for lunch, slack at car park. Went back to work as usual. Serve a bulk purchase before I left for lunch. The customer gave me the dairy as a present. I shall see her this coming Sat/Sun that she promise. =]
Thanks YingYan for the present that you gave. I really like it alot.. Alot.. And thanks to Lester for dropping by to wish me happy birthday. Thanks all the Giordano staffs for the Happy Birthday wishing. Ok whatever. Went to meet Victoria for dinner. Went to eat Pizza Hut, everything on her.. Then went over to OG Point and met Lily..
Went back to Taka to wait for Jee Jee.. Thanks for that present sweetheart. =] Pooh Bear, I like it very much. And follow by that birthday song.. Then Kelvin came down all the way from NTU Hostel to give me the present. Thanks.. Lots of greetings from people like Kenneth, Bradon, Chee Siang, Han Quan, Susu, Devil, Celine[my 2nd incharge from OG Point] and not forgetting XinDai. Only these people remember my birthday? Well, nothing much I can wish for. Those who I really expect to get the greetings from, I didn't get it..
The last time I saw you was when I pass you your birthday present. And I remember that both of us agree that we don't have any time for relationship and maybe that's why we didn't patch back.. Or is it a lie all along? Right from the start you set it up? On the last day of my 17 year old? I get those fucking shit from you?
While walking from CenterPoint towards Ngee Ann City, why I get to see you? And you even say Hi to me? First was that you say you've no time to call me at night to wish me happy birthday, and the next thing I see you outside with a girl by your side and you're holding her hand? Do I deserve this fucking shit from you? Its not him who hurt me that much its you.. The person who read my blog daily, asking me how am I through SMS. But you never called..
I never blame you at all. Always I'm the one who SMS you, call you to check out if you're fine. I change to the way that you always want me to be.. But you didn't even notice about the small tiny changes I did.. I might be having him always on my mouth whenever I blog or I talk about.. But deep in my heart, there's always a place that you stand. But I guess you don't know about it..
You never spare a thought for me at all.. I never blame you. Just take whatever you said from the start as some empty words. Like what I said, I never blame you.. Happy birthday to myself, and thanks for that "big" present that you "gave" I "like" it very much that it bring me to tears.. I can never forget my 18 birthday for the rest of my life..
{/ --
Sunday, January 16, 2005 ( 1/16/2005 12:35:00 AM )
I'm tired. That's all I wanna say. Wake up at around 6am by my cough. Went to take some medicine and went back to bed. Woke up at around 11 I guess.. But before that woke up by Kelvin. Ok, whatever.
Something happen to grandma, she feel down. And I didn't even get myself time to go over to visit her. Maybe I do it on monday.
Anyway, thanks to Rodneyy and Cooke for dropping by. And thanks for the present. I haven't open it but I believe that I will like it. And thanks to Michelle for dropping by to chat with me.. Haha, then follow by HQ, some sorry, I don't have time to chat with you. And maybe because you came at the wrong time.. And then, thanks to Kenneth for dropping by again. Wonder why today so many people came by? Hmmm.. But after all, thanks everyone. *lOls* Maybe wishing me early birthday ba..
Since now its 16th January, I guess I gonna say about what's going on with my 18th year old birthday. I guess it will be off day on Monday, since Nora told me about it. Some wish which I really hope that it will fullfill. But like what Rodneyy said, as long as I believe, it will happen. =) Thanks pal for that, at least I believe that someone is standing on my side..
Work seems fine, but I hurt myself. =( *sigh* a minor one, I guess will be fine after the rest. I really need bed, tomorrow working from 10am-7pm, and I guess Victoria coming over to accompany me to celebrate my birthday. But no money, celebrate what shit? Ok, whatever. I'm tired, and I wanna sleep. Shall update again if I get the chance to..
Nora was asking why I remove all my piercing, is because I'm 18 soon, I shall be someone who you always want me to be. It might be some silly joke to you, but I'm serious, I do all the changes just because of you. Piercing is totally a turn off to you, and I do it just because I'm serious about you..
If you're reading this, just wanna let you know, you're being miss by me.. Yes, its *you* The same old you. I hope that you will be the first to wish me Happy Birthday..
Will my birthday wish come true...? Its still a big question mark..
{/ --
Saturday, January 15, 2005 ( 1/15/2005 12:14:00 PM )
{/ --
( 1/15/2005 01:44:00 AM )
Ok, a pretty fine day for me. Woke up by Kelvin. [Requested by me] Thanks leh. But in the end still go back to sleep. Whaha.. Went to WWW alone. WAH VERY ZI BI LEH! Anyway, how's my blog skin? COMMENTS PLEASE!!
Reach there being approach by that guy who work in the office. Then he ask if I'm alone, of course I say yes. But he don't believe me. *lols* Anyway, went to toilet to apply sun block SPH 20. Then went to locker to put my stuffs and off I go.. Went to err? Can't remember what rides. And I realise that most of the staffs there ARE NEW!! *scream* I only manage to find like 4 of them I know?
Anyway, the guy who work in the office approach me when I was about to leave. Then we went to play slide up and ulah lah together. *lols* so damn fun sia.. At least I'm talking to someone.. Then I keep disturbing the guards as usual. *loLs* Manage to get a little tanned. But not too much. I don't really like real tanned now. Abit will do..
Went to meet someone at Suntec.. Then eat Pasta as usual.. Then slack.. Jee Jee came alone.. Then 3 of us went slacking as usual.. Sit at the fountain there.. Listen songs.. Didn't manage to shop at all. But still alright. At least time goes by.. Anyway, pictures time! Taken today where 3 of us went slacking..
Myself and Wei Ming. Anyway, this taken back then, lazy to upload.
Myself and Jee Jee
My darling.. Isn't she sweet?
Yummy yummy..
Kelvin and me
Got shock of his life
Lost and found?
Pick up that small pack of cig. *lols* creative eh?
*tagboard*
kAi Ni: Haha.. I also dont know what I reply.. I didnt know we share the same home.. *lols* free drop by taka leh!!
jovan: Thanks for reading.. And, err.. I didnt know I have alot of words in passion.. I just write whatever I feel like writing?
ong: Hi ong.. Some sorry, didnt dig out time for you.. =(
J Ying: She real sucks. I think she's more naggy then you and my mum...! I think if my mum + your mum combine, she still win...
{/ --
( 1/15/2005 12:44:00 AM )
It's hard for me to love you when you won't love me after all...
Bottom-line : A person who makes me love him is actually a person who loves me more than I love him.
If someone comes into your life and becomes a part of you but for some reasons he couldn't stay, don't cry too much... Just be glad that your paths crossed and; somehow he made you happy even for a while.
Bottom-line : Time will tell. If he's yours he will surely come back.
Don't throw your back to love when it's already in front of you.
Don't drive it away from you because if you do, someday you'll think again why you let love fly away when it was once residing next to you.
Bottom-line : Treasure the one who loves you! It's not easy to find a person who loves you. It's always more valuable to have a sincere heart.
The greatest regrets in our lives are the risks we did not take. If you think something will make you. happy, GO FOR IT. Remember that we pass this way only once.
Bottom-line : Time doesn't wait. If you think you might have found the right one, treasure the person, don't let that person get away. Don't let fear hold you back. Give it a try else you might regret later...
"No one other than ourselves know what can truly make us happy."
Two tear drops were floating down the river.
One teardrop said to the other, "I'm the teardrop of a girl who loved a man and lost him. Who are you?"
"I'm the teardrop of the man who regrets letting a girl go..."
Bottom-line : Nobody will sympathize with a person who constantly lets chances pass by without making any efforts to salvage them. We normally don't realize how important our loved and close ones are until they leave us, and then we start regretting, which results in misery. Lost time is NEVER gained again..
{/ --
Friday, January 14, 2005 ( 1/14/2005 01:44:00 AM )
*argh* I'm pissed!! With the SIC[Senior In Charge] I really hate her!! *scream* All NAC staffs should know who am I refering to.
Ok this is what happen. After I sign in at about 1430, I went to share things with my 2nd-in-charge. Then as time goes by, it was around 1530. Then Sharron came in, [She's someone from the main office] The sales aint that good, but thank God I got 1 big bulk and 2 mini bulk purchase. =X [Bulk = purchase above $150] And lucky I got praise by her. I went smiling and smiling.. *lols*
Ok, that''s not important. She highlitghted about the display. So I went for my break with is about 1625 until about 1720 I came back. [I don't take an hour break when I'm alone I already do whatever things VERY SLOW! But still got extra time.] Then I start to iron the display. [If you're free, drop by Ngee Ann City Giordano to see around the Junior session.]
I start to iron until I ki siao. There are so many display, if I'm not wrong more than 50 pieces. I become crazy leh. I iron until my hand damn tired. Cat ask me to stop awhile and rest my hand, but I insist to iron till half than I stop. I stop which is around 1800, Shawn sign in. He need to use the iron, so I help him to iron, then I continue ironing all the clothes. Then shop manager came telling me that I've been using the iron for a long time, she gave me another 15minutes to finish it.
15minutes pass, I left with like 1 of the stack left uniron. And I'm bored, I mean real bored with ironing. So I pass it back to the men's session. I gave it to them, there the SIC came in to disturb me. HELLO!? In the first place, she's not someone from the Junior session, why she wanna be so busy body!? wtf wtf!!
Myself : "Err blah blah blah, who wanna use the steam iron ar?"
She : " I not sure leh, maybe you can put it here.." *I push it around*
M: "Ok, then I leave it here alright." *start walking away*
S: "Girl ar, you finish ironing with everything anot?"
M: "No leh, left afew pieces lor.. "
S: "Then why wanna leave it unironing? *piss voice* Left a few pieces ma, finish it lah, where got people do half way one.. Do things must do everything ma, somemore our shop being highlighted leh, not good ok?"
M: "Hen na hen na.." *Start pushing back to Junior session, dump onto shop manager*
Shop Manager: "Eh girl, pass it to blah blah blah, we need to iron our display." *She took it away from me*
M: "..... "
S: "Eh SM, why take it away from her? Give it back to her.."
SM: *blur* "Why? She has been using for a long time, now our turn to use ok.."
S: "She............................" *too soft to hear*
*SM pass the steam iron back to me*
S: "Eh girl, I give you another 10minutes to iron whatever you haven't iron ok?" *smile at me*
*Piss face*
M: "K lah k lah.."
Then I start all over again, iron iron and IRON.. 10minutes to do like so many clothes? Wtf? I didn't give 100% ironing, I anyhow anyhow. She give me 10mins, I give her 10mins work lor. I only know the damn steam kanna my hand, and it turn RED!!! *scream*
That's not the end, inside the storeroom, she act to be nice. *puke* whatever.
S: "Yang, next time do things must do all the way, don't do half way alright. Not good, somemore our shop being highlighted, don't let them have the chance to do that again alright.. "
M: "k lah.."
I really very angry lor. So fuck sia.. *scream* Be going WWW later I guess. Look like its abit cloudy, so I doubt be going. I wanna get tanned!! Yes...! Ok whatever, gonna pack my room which look like some random dog house. *lols* Bye for now, update soon..
{/ --
Wednesday, January 12, 2005 ( 1/12/2005 01:44:00 AM )
Sitting in the dark
I silently begin to cry
In my room all alone
I shed a tear for every lie
One for all the bullshit
And the pain you put me through
Another for the time
That you told me it was true
There goes another tear
Streaming down my cheek
All because you lead me on
I just felt so weak
The next few tears
Turn into a few more
And before you know it
Each one hits the floor
The thought came to my mind
Of every time, you said you loved me
I thought that you would be here
You said no one was above me
But what you really meant
Was no one but her
These tears fill my eyes
And my visions a blur
My eyes are red
And now they sting
Im dying inside
From the pain you bring
The tears just keep coming
One after the other they flow
Each one is for you
And that is something you must know
Though the scars will eventually fade
And the tears will someday dry
Your always in the back of my head
With each and every lie
{/ --
( 1/12/2005 01:44:00 AM )
Just reach home not long.. Shall have a small little update about myself recently. Anyway, my brother is leaving Singapore tonight. 10+ pm flight. I guess I dont have any chance to send him off.. Cause I'm working from 6pm till close. I thought his flight was yesterday night, thats why I work from 10am - 7pm..
Anyway, was sick some days back. Down with flu, sore throat, cough and a little bit of fever.. Well, a day of MC.. Didn't have much sleep.. I think because the medication too strong.. Currently still with cough as well as flu.. The fever no more... I think because I didnt take the medication on time, because of work. Sigh.. Still wondering how long can I be holding on with it..
went to Cat's chalet the day before.. She's actually my Giordano Junior[NAC] 2nd in-charge. Anyway, its her 20th birthday[if I didnt remember wrongly] Went there with some of the NAC team friends to slack.. Then chill out, talk rubbish.. Stay there till around 1+ close to 2 then reach home.. Change, wash up, and sleep..
Yesterday woke up very early. Was on the morning shift.. Met up with Jee Jee to go work together.. Then I sleep all the way.. I feel bad. =( But what to do? I really very tired!! Work till 730pm.. Sign out already went to try on the Junior item.. SKIRT!! I swear its nice! [though a little childish] *lols* but I really like it. Ask my shop manage about it, she say its nice. So I bought it.. Then I went to Fox, bought a long sleve top...... And I head home..
Can you imaging? Orchard is actually my 2nd home.. And everyone seems to be going town during their free time? And I get to go there everyday? And I'm so BORED with it. I swear!! And is like I close eyes can walk. Ahahah! Kidding.
Reach home, online MSN, get to chat with one of my friend.. Then in the end we head out for supper.. *lols* Went to Changi Village.. Wah, so many ........ Sexy leh.. >.<" Then went to I also dont know where.. To see planes fly off.. lOls~ That's nice.. =D Slack, and head home.. On the way home got road check or whatever you call.. But didnt ask us to stop.. So manage to reach home fast.. AH!! ITS SO COLD I SWEARRR!!!
Its a long time since I've reply tagboard.. Some sorry here! Just lazy.. =X
J Ying : FRIDAY OFF DAY!!!!!!!!!!!! TAKE NOTEE!!!!
summotay: Its alright. Already over.. When I free I will chill out with you and Ong.. Dont worry alright.. I'm sorry that I didnt turn up the other time, was sick.. =(
shinz: Hi sucko... *lols* Right?
lingg: I don't school? Anyway, take care.. Enjoy youself in school.. When I'm free I will drop by your blog!! :D
jos: Hi Josella.. A very long time since we met...
kAi Ni: Kai nI!! That day I went to some CC outing at Somerset.. Then HumorBoi came along. He thought we're close.. *lols*
carole: Hi hi.. Happy new year[its very late, truly sorry] Yah yah, counting down to my birthday.. =D
alan: Hi Alan kor. A thousands of apology about Xmas eve. Didnt manage to dig out time to celebrate with you.. =(
summotay: Yeah, I really hope it does..
xiang: Happy schoolinG! Do take care of yourself alright...!
{/ --
Tuesday, January 11, 2005 ( 1/11/2005 09:32:00 PM )
Now that we're 'friends' I'll pretend that I'm fine. But when I'm around you I wish that you were still mine.. To be around you I feel hurt, but you will never know it.. I'll keep all this pain inside and never let it out, especially to you..
{/ --
( 1/11/2005 09:09:00 PM )
Together forever, you said from the start. You said I'll never break your heart. I liked you so much, it maked me wanna blush.. It was such bliss, you were my angel from up above but why did it have to end like this?
{/ --
Monday, January 10, 2005 ( 1/10/2005 01:27:00 AM )
I realise that the world doesnt stop spinning just because i'm sad.. the world still move on, but why am i still standing at the same spot where you left me 8months back? why did you do this to me? like Dr. Ernest Wong said, if someone gonna leave you, it means that someone new will be coming along.. i just dont understand why whenever i feel like moving on, someone will provoke me.. sigh.. whatever.. .. ..
its you, i still missing..
{/ --
Friday, January 07, 2005 ( 1/07/2005 11:34:00 AM )
you make me go crazy, do you realise that? i still wonder why the day before i sms you saying that i really wanna see you, and the very next day you appear in front of me.. maybe you're doing me a favour, maybe you just wanna please me and just to make me smile..
but when i finish work, i wanna meet you for dinner, in the end you rejected me. *sigh* everything back to the same where we used to be.. you love her i guess, you need her i guess.. and i suppose that she needs you more than i do.. everything leave it to God above.. if one day you gonna turn back, i will be behind waiting for you.. yes its you..
i change because of you, i lead the way you want my life to be.. i smile everyday just because you want me to be happy.. but how long can the smile last? how long can i continue wearing the mask that i dont want to wear?
{/ --
Thursday, January 06, 2005 ( 1/06/2005 04:20:00 PM )
All I am
All I'll be
Everything in this world
All that I'll ever need
Is in your eyes
Shining at me
When you smile I can feel
All my passion unfolding
Your hand brushes mine
And a thousand sensations
Seduce me cause I
I do
Cherish you
For the rest of my life
You don't have to think twice
I will love you still
From the depths of my soul
It's beyond my control
I've waited so long to say this to you
If you're asking do I love you this much
I do
In my world, before you
I lived outside my emotions
Didn't know where I was going
Till that day I found you
How you opened my life
To a new paradise
In a world torn by change
Still with all of my heart'
Till my dying day
I do
Cherish you
For the rest of my life
You don't have to think twice
I will love you still
From the depths of my soul
It's beyond my control
I've waited so long to say this to you
If you're asking do I love you this muchI do
Oh, I do
{/ --
Wednesday, January 05, 2005 ( 1/05/2005 11:27:00 PM )
no idea what to update, and I'm doing good still.. down with flu as well as sore throat.. *sigh* i over spend my money.. i guess this month, will be poor. =( turning 18 soon.. no presents please.. i will appreciate if you gonna give me cash.. *LOL*
pictures to prove myelf.. =] taken with my work friend, Jee Jee..
and as usual, i love him still..
If we; Should be getting under
These sheets; We could lie in this bed; But it's Empty
These sheets; We could lie in this bed; But it's Empty
Maybe we're trying
Trying too hard; Maybe we're torn apart
alan kor
albert
ann
ariane
ben
christine
daryn
elena
elina
huihui mummy
hq
J
javier
jo
kai sheng
kelvin
n282
rapheal
saren
sze li
sze yin
terrance
xindai
wei jie
william
yiping
ying yan
yuliana
butik gue
fashion stage
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Trying too hard; Maybe we're torn apart
{/links --
ctrl + left click
alan kor
albert
ann
ariane
ben
christine
daryn
elena
elina
huihui mummy
hq
J
javier
jo
kai sheng
kelvin
n282
rapheal
saren
sze li
sze yin
terrance
xindai
wei jie
william
yiping
ying yan
yuliana
{/online shopping --
butik gue
fashion stage
{/archives --
watch me waste my life away
02/01/2004 - 03/01/2004
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Maybe the timing
Is beating our hearts; We're Empty
now playing
周杰伦 - 说好的幸福呢
你的回话凌乱着 在这个时刻
我想起喷泉旁的白鸽 甜蜜散落了
情绪莫名的拉扯 我还爱你呢
而你断断续续唱着歌 假装没事了
时间过了 走了 爱情面临选择
你冷了 倦了 我哭了
离开时的不快乐 你用卡片手写着
有些爱只给到这真的痛了
怎么了 你累了
说好的 幸福呢
我懂了 不说了
爱淡了 梦远了
(我都还记得)
开心与不开心一一细数着
你再不舍
那些爱过的感觉都太深刻
我都还记得
你不等了
说好的 幸福呢
我错了 泪干了
放手了 后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着
要怎么停呢
Is beating our hearts; We're Empty
{/miscellaneous --
my virtual barang
now playing
周杰伦 - 说好的幸福呢
你的回话凌乱着 在这个时刻
我想起喷泉旁的白鸽 甜蜜散落了
情绪莫名的拉扯 我还爱你呢
而你断断续续唱着歌 假装没事了
时间过了 走了 爱情面临选择
你冷了 倦了 我哭了
离开时的不快乐 你用卡片手写着
有些爱只给到这真的痛了
怎么了 你累了
说好的 幸福呢
我懂了 不说了
爱淡了 梦远了
(我都还记得)
开心与不开心一一细数着
你再不舍
那些爱过的感觉都太深刻
我都还记得
你不等了
说好的 幸福呢
我错了 泪干了
放手了 后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着
要怎么停呢