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ramblings of a young adult

A long time since I've blog.. Anyway, I'm alright and things between both of us seems cool.. Simple Plan, *sigh* bye bye.. =( Though I really wanna go, but think back, not enough cash, and plus I still need to pay for school fees, HP bills, transport fees, food and daily needs. Just can't spend extra money on entertainment. Gonna give up something that are not that important. Grow up already yeah?
Went back to work and I guess really very tired. Not guess, is comfirm very tired.. Imaging you spend your time with BF/GF, studies and work. That's it. Nothing new gonna happen, and nothing interesting gonna happen. Is like a weekly routine. Kinda bored with the life I'm having. Might plan to quit my job at Giordano, find a new job. Any jobs to intro that can let me work like weekends only? Please let me know. Thanks.
Although lessons only on Monday to Thursday, but going to school seems like plucking your own hairs out. So painful. I guess, doing the same thing twice is really bored. *sigh* Still regreting that I never study the right way last year. Was playing around at this period of time back then. Too much emotions and stuffs happened last year... I just pray that history will never repeat..
For those who care, I'm doing fine and great. And nothing bringing me down. I'm alright and I'm cool.. =) Thanks for those who care. And for those who I didn't have much time to chill out with, I'm sorry my friends. Well, free can always call to chill out, I'll try my best to dig out time for you guys.

*tagboard*
sleepygirl: *hugs* thanks.. I'm alright..
alan: I guess I'm lazy to chat at that point of time.
jianmei: Haha, thanks. I think this blog having too much error already. Might be closing down.
bubu: Yeah, there are alot of catch up for us!! I'm schooling at Queensfield. Its a private school, cause I'm retaking O level. .
Ying: Haha, I don't even get a chance to go your hostel to check out. =( Anyway, remember to bring all your stuffs home! And oh yeah, I'm waiting for see a zombie taking train to and flow everyday.. *LOLS*
summotay: Nice phrase you got there. Thanks. =)
aNneaNne: Thanks. I'm sure that nothing gonna bring us down. And like what you say, give and take is what a couple should always do! Thanks.
yanyan: Yeah, I know. You always tell me that.. xD Miss you girL~
nightfly: I'm so sorry about the late reply. I guess the registration for GCE O Level already close? Anyway, I'm retaking O level and Queensfield Business School. I'm retaking 4subjects that cost me about $1.9k
alan: Thanks kor. Though things already happen so long ago, I feel bad at times cause I don't give in back then. That cause both of us to be in pains and hurts.
Xindai: That's a very nice phrase that you gave. I will always remember, and I hope you're always standing by my side, holding on to me, giving me fullest support in everything..

can someone just give me a good scolding that i really should deserve? what's the problem with you bitch?
so much things are on my mind. things keep coming up my mind and i've no idea why am i reacting in this way? quarrel with him yesterday when he sent me home.. was on the train with his brother as well. then he was like teasing at me about failing my basic theory twice. his brother was just smiling.
i went pinching him and alight in a rush.. he chase up and i ask him to shut up and go away... when we reach bus interchange, he saw his friends, 3 of us went different way. whereby he approach his friends, his brother was sitting somewhere near me, as for me, standing and idling.
bus came, i only said bye to his brother and board the bus. there isn't any goodbye kiss from him either is there any goodbye from him. it look simple and look like im the one in fault.... it might be true that when i pinch him, he felt the pains. but that's physically pain. what about me? did he ever think about my part?
after lab lesson was takin bus home with him. and his ex-gf called up to take number of golden village but i've no idea why he took so long to hang up. yes im jealous, but so what? he care? nah.. he doesn't. i think he doesn't even bother..
what about today? didn't turn up for the first lesson or maybe all along he planned it? *sigh* yes i know the teacher very xl, but why he cant bare with it? what's next? sleep through out the lesson. for what he turn up for the class.. might as well sleep at home.
after school, both of us head home. and i dont know what's wrong between us. both of us sitting beside each other. sharing ipod, first was my song, second was the song that we both listen. the third song was SHIT. i dont even hear it before. i just pull the earphone out of my ear, and leave it. and i thought he will just leave it there, but instead, he put it at his ear.
when the train reach simei, he just tap me, saying goodbye..... i look down and i realise my eyes fill with tears.. i realise i am crying over him.. about he just walking away like that.. now i understand how it feel when you're hoping that things are doing good, but instead the other person who you really cherish just walk out like that....
ain't myself these few days.. leave me alone and let me cry...

im not as brave as you think i am.. im breaking down.. breaking down...

alright, gonna say im damn burnt! went wild wild wet with darlin' on friday.. reach there about 10am, so pack i can say.. i guess because of school holiday plus friday..
anyway, we chill' out there, did some tanning, and im fcuking burnt right now. *lols* and he got sabo by one of my friend who work in wild wild wet.. "hunks search" *lols* i cant imaging that.. anyway, shall not go in details for that.
went back to work yesterday. everything look like... hmmm... so many new things, and i cant really cope much.. =(( too many new arrivals.. and the time pass to fast.. soon it was 7pm, and off to simei i go to find sean..
reach there at around 8, then chill out with his friends and stuffs, then nothing much happen, head home.. *LOL* boring right.. that's what happen when you realise you have too much time to spare.. =D
*peace* i'm going out now, with him. yeah' yeah' going out with his parents for lunch, then we will be heading to ubin with my parents for dinner. *lols* busy busy~

i swear im bored now.. bored like fuck..
a boring day today.. woke up at around 730am to go to school.. reach school just nice at 9am, to my surprise im the earliest. -.-" wtf sia.. cannot make it lah. i'm still thinking how to pass my tests and stuffs.. the students doesnt have any determination i guess..
finish class 10mins before hand. walk all the way to mrt station to meet sean. had our lunch at mos burger then he gonna go to class.. his lesson start at 12pm, end at 2pm. and im sitting at the lan shop that provide a quick serve and stuffs.. im sitting here since 12pm.. and im getting BORED.................................................
damn, im just bored, lazy to change my templates in other words, there's not feelings and stuffs.. and im getting bored with everything. Sean's ipod gonna low batt soon, and there's no one i can talk to cause my hp batt is gonna flat soon. i didn't charge it.. and i guess if i use radio and stuffs, it will be flat..
looking up friendster and stuffs, nothing i can serve, nothing i can do. nothing interest me, lazy to walk around, shop around. first its so HOTT and im lazy. what's next? my wallet is light. pay day soon, but i guess its really very little.. and i can only afford to pay for my school fees. oh well..
im bored. no one online now, school hour still, somemore i guess everyone is working if not, our with their sweethearts.. poor Ebel.. =((((

just finish watching channel 5, about tsumani.. i cant believe what really happen last year. one day before christams.. i nearly forget that there's such thing happen around the world.. people dies, people escape from it and stuffs.. wondering why am i so lucky to be sitting here, and doing blog.. i dont even cherish my life, what about others? *sigh*
anyway, was out to school with sean today[as usual] he pick me up at my void deck and had our breakfast at a nearby coffeeshop.. went to school, reach on time, but lesson start at 915am.. the physics teacher is HELL BORING.. and to my surprise, he teaches chemistry too.. *sigh* science makes me bored..
after lesson, went to BJ to have our lunch, then join the rest of the classmates to play CS together.. this time around 8 of us.. haha.. things seems fine and cool.. we head to city link, flash & splash for some rip curl stuffs, but found nothing that we like.. wanna get a beach bag.. SOON!! =D
well, life being bored.. wondering how's my friends doing and stuffs.. a long time since i've chill' out with them.. this week be taking break, which means not gonna work, as for next week, going back to work.. which day? still not yet comfirm.. kinda in a holiday mood.. doesn't really feel like doing anything at all.. i miss all my friends..
SIMPLE PLAN IS COMING SINGAPOREEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! I gonna get the tickets with ONG!!!

*tagboard*
s E R E N e: Hi.. I got it.. Will update my links.. =)
maysze: You too.. Must smile more.. Update me about school alright..
el: Hmmm.. Where? I don't remember that I went out? *lOls*
Ying: THE TEACHERS ARE HELL BORING! and I guess i will be bored to death...! *argh*
Kbo: stfu

everything seems fine.. school are hell boring especially the teachers there.. -_-!
yesterday was the first day of school, meet sean for breakfast, then reach school at around 9am. which they request us to reach. we reached waited till around 915am.. then give us books and timetable for the week.. guess what? the next thing she said "those taking bio, go up to the classroom, the others report at midlink plaza at 12pm" WHAT THE HELL!!!
then sean was so piss.. then we walk around, saw the other 2 classmates of ours.. walk around bugis trying to find midlink.. damn funny.. in the end, we walk around shaw tower and nothing much to do, went back to BJ again.. 3 of us went to play CS, the other went home and sleep.. damn funny sia.. all of us laughing like hell.. rush all the way to school, then start EL lesson.. the teacher is cocky whereby i've nothing much to say or comment about him..
after school, we went over to meet sean's mother.. went over to taka to eat crystal jade with his mother and his brother.. then went to golf house to see things for himself.. (damn i think i'm making everyone bored)
well, things didn't look good after that.. both of us seems to be arguing about small things.. even today.. to have dinner at my place or his place.. *sigh* wondering why all these shit things are happening nowadays... is it because we meet almost everyday whereby we get "bored" with each other? or is it we're not understaning enough? *sigh* shall update again later.. if i want to..

such a long time since i've really update my blog. shall do a quick update. quit my job as a full timer. convert to part timer. taking 1 week break now.. Until no idea when.. Meanwhile school starting soon. which is this coming monday. dont have the study mode, i guess if sean see this, he gonna kill me. :x
met up with xindai some days back. doesnt have much time to talk to her.. we planned to meet up for dinner and stuffs, before i meet sean. but in the end, due to work, i finish around 7+ and she wait for me. =( i gonna rush to meet sean cause he's waiting for me to have dinner with him. in the end? he had his dinner. %^#$&@#&@
might be going sentosa tomorrow to chill' out. nothing better to do. no where to go either. town is like so boring. maybe because everyday i'm there? singapore is so boring, what to do.. *scream* today will be a home stay day, since sean is playing golf at sentosa i guess.. gonna pack my room, its in a real MESS!!!
tons of things waiting for me to do.. just imaging sitting down in front of the computer doing what you always enjoy doing.. because of work, what i used to like, no longer i enjoy doing.. well its true.. i can spent like around 6hours or so surfing net and stuffs.. but now? ask me sit here for an hour, i find it hard. there's nothing much i can.. its so BORING..
enough of complain. well i'm fine, i'm doing good. everything between us seems ok. just that have a little of arguement now and then.. but things are cool.. give in.. that's the best word i can say between a relationship whereby you cherish he/her..
the people who i have really lost contact with. thousands of apology.. we're walking different paths of our lifes.. enjoy it. cause memories are the only thing that we can never forget. =) no point saying keep in touch whereby no one even make the effort to do so.
this is not the way i want my life to be. things seems out of control whereby when time is so limited, there are certain things that you gonna give up.. just like i give up all my extra sleeping time and my extra net surfing time..
how i wish that i can be perfect once again..

*tagboard* very long since i've reply board.. :S
Linger: Hi, i'm trying to recall who are you.. Haha.. thanks anyway. =)
kAi Ni: thanks girl.. you wake my sense up.. by giving up job to go for studies.. thanks alot. =)
XinDai: Hello hunnie.. I really miss you like mad..Though we met up less than an hour, but that time i really cherish. i've no idea how to scan the picture whereby the cable went missing.. and i can't send pictures to computer whereby my brother set password for the labby.. =( gonna wait darling.. sorry..
summotay: sun is out.. rain and storm gone.. things seems fine and im doing good.. thanks my friend..
hUh? : thanks.. give & take. that's what i always didnt do.. but i hope that i will learn a little, be more like a lady with a mature mindset..
alan: hmmm.. i think there's some error and stuffs. i'm kinda lazy to do the changes.. sorry brother. =)
lingg: yeah.. do take care alright.. all the best to you..
xiang: thanks.. all the best to you too.. =)
josella: im doing good. cant join you at TP. feeling down about the results and i guess i be able to walk through everything.. gonna wait another year before i can get in to TP to join you.. but i guess, it will take a long time.. i'm having a good life with a wonderful BF by my side.. hope that you're doing great too.
bubu: heyy.. must dig out time to chill out. i'm sure sean is the type of friend that you can click on..

a recent picture of mine. was on the train, kinda tired..

sean took it, with his cap that he put it on, trying my best not to smile. whaha..

US!! :D taken after having steamboat at my place.
we watch HITCH yesterday.. nice show man. =D

lazy to update~ lazy to update~ lazy to update~ lazy to update~ lazy to update~ lazy to update~


oh yeah, i love sean~ happy one month darlin'

a quick update. found myself a cheaper school. thanks Elena for that intro. =] i save alot of money. *lols* went to register and stuffs, and i got in the school... school will be starting on 14th march 2005. fast yeah?
convert myself to part time. and the last day of working full time is actually this friday. and sat will be my off day, and sunday onwards be taking break.. until when? i've no idea. money is one problem.. *sigh* i want cash to come in NOW!! *scream* in need of money.. i left like $50 in bank. gosh, i'm dead..
i miss doing alot of things.. work make me miss out the time on whatever i want to do.. like sleeping 12hours daily.. slacking, serve net till late.. and more...... sigh....... now converting to part time, i wonder still got time to do all these things alot?
gonna go shower now.. need to work at 2pm. SIAN!!!!!!

gonna say that the boat is at the sea facing high tight and storm..
things are not going the right way either willi say that things go smothly. *sigh* too much things happen.. first was the results then follow by having toomuch unsolve problems with sean.. then my family pressure me with studies.. i really dont know what to do. this time round things are getting more and more worst.
just to share, i didn't pass my O level.. that include English.. if i pass english, i guess i will be able to get into the course that i want.. but sad to say, i didn't.. i didnt pass english at all.. i got e8, that's all i can say...
sean is treating me good, and i've no idea why for no reason then i went over board, and i step onto his head.. *sigh* this is not i want either.. since yesterday quarrel with him, argue for no reason, even if we went out today, we looks fine, but the fact that we're not.. he stand on his own, walk on his own.. as for me? trying to shoo myself from him."hey ebel what's the problem with you?" i've no idea..can someone answer me this question?
just because he start the conversation about Marc i get angry? why am i so petty? why i cant take it as a joke and taking it so seriosly? cant i just give in since he already apologise? but instead bite him over and over again...
i didnt give up either, i went overboard.. today was out with him, just because he dont let me to buy the stuffs that i want, i show attitude at him.. what the fuck is wrong with me? why am i reacting in this way? *sigh*
went to private school today, things seems well i gues.. everything is so nice, just that having a hard time finding the location of the school.. walk around finally saw it, in the end realise that we walk one big round.. fill up the appliactaion form, and realise that we need to bring stuffs, and in the end, we just walk out empty handed..
just feeling tired.. of everything and anything.. no time for this no time for that because of work.. i dont even have time to go apply singpass.. where got time for friends? all i know is that im really tired over nothing.. mentally, physically and emotionally...
tears just roll down my face for no reason.. for who? i've no idea.. miss my grandpa alot, how i wish i can join him at where ever he is.. i dont care if im being selfish, anything for grandpa, i will give up.. just because i love and miss him too much..
for people like yingyan and xindai that i've been left out. im sorry guys.. too much things happen to me, and im very unstable with the way i am now.. i cant give any answer or reason that i've been shooing myself away from you guys.. im sorry that i'm being too selfish..i really hope that you guys will understand..
alan kor.. very long time since ive met up and chat with you.. i didnt know that you went oversea until yesterday i was over bored, i went to you blog and read.. *sigh* hope that you're doing good.. and i will live my life to the fullest cause i know i will be happy with the way i gonna be.... though i need time to be left alone, but i believe that happiness is just in front of me, waiting for me to get it.. =)
ITE? will i get myself in there? i doubt.. its not my life, my living attitude.. it not that i look down on ITE people, just that i can never get myself in there.. too much hope on myself, in the end i hurt myself even more.. disappointing results.. that's why i choose to retake O level at some private school..
no one can influence my mind, including you cousin.. thanks for chatting with me for the past hour, i hope you're reading this.. and i hope that you will understand my part.. money is one issue, interest is another. i've no interest at all in ITE.. because of my results that the fact that i fail my english, the course that i kind of interested in need at least a c6... i dont even fit into an ITE student. that's why i choose to retake..
its not about going in poly or not going in. is the fact that i wanna continue my career life at shatec. i need to pass my english and 2 other subjects to get myself with the tourism course that offers there... i know you understand me too well that what i want, means i want.. no one can stop me.
i've no idea why you're keeping telling me that ITE is good, ITE this ITE that.. you turn me off. even kor ask me to go ITE, i just scream and yell at him.. what if I go in ITE and take private O and study on my own? take it this way, if i follow this way, getting into the course that ive no interest at all, and i fail my O again..what will happen to my life? ruin by ITE?? *sigh*
no idea what to say.. just sleep.. night..

results were out.. i didnt make it. gonna now choose either ite or retaking O level or not to study anymore.. lucky still got sean around to guide me along.. so both of us be taking private o level at some random private school[not to be name] then we shall see how.. the price i guess i can still afford. around $350 per month. i hope i able to afford it. *sigh* really didnt expect to get this type of results.
days pass so fast, soon gonna be a month with sean.. didnt have much mood to online yesterday, but thanks to people like Kelvin, James for providing me a guide line to the path.. Thanks James for giving me information to private school, and Kelvin for giving me moral support.
im still wondering why am i in this shit way where all along i didnt plan to get? i did study hard, but in a smart way? i give the best shot and i get back this shit thing? i dont understanding why God is playing this type of game with me... i hate it.. i hate my life that im having..
work all the way, for what and for who? ive no idea.. all i need is cash, but am i happy? i cant answer myself. those shit girls out there trying way to hint him about still lovin him or whatever. hey, listen, and get it clear.. nothing gonna break us up. =) that's what i say and that's what he prove. whatever......
aint in good mood, though spend one day with sean. tomorrow off, shall be going to private school to check it out.. thanks God that i still have someone like him. willingly to accompany me to take private school, and guess what? he's gonna work at gio with me. =)
gonna chat over the phone now.. he's over the line..

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watch me waste my life away

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