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ramblings of a young adult

Well, shall do a quick update. And its end of the month again.. Its the last day of sales.. And I hope everything will be fine.. Real fine.. =) As usual work and study at the same tired. Getting real tired recently..
Shall start from Thursday.. Went to Suntec after work. Met up with Ah mun and gang. Slack around there and we head back to TM.. Collected all my stuffs and spend alot of money on clothes and accessories.. Bought some belts and ear rings.. =) Getting more and more vain.. Muahha.. Anyway, love all my new clothes.. alot..
Friday, was working Afternoon shift.. Whereby this lady, she just look like his mum. I approach her, and say "Hi auntie.." To my surprise she's really him mum.. I'm glad that she still remember me, and she even remember where I used to work.. She introduced me to her sister, and her sister seems to be giving me those i-don't-bother look. And I just smile at her. A little while later, they left. I thought he will also be there, but he's not.. And I should just shut up from here.
Went to town just now. I thought Ugly ducking will be having dinner with me, but he disappoint me, and I guess, being a fool, who tried to act clever and act as if I'm everything to him, HE proves me wrong. Well, next time, I will be someone who can't be bother. Because even if I treat anyone nicely, I still means nothing to anyone. Cause no one will appreciate anything I do.
Being a fool is what am I to you. I waited, I walked around, just hoping to spend more time with you. But I didn't know, I'm just an idiot who wait out there. And you don't even tell me when I'm standing beside you. I approach you, and you seems so busy talking to your friend. Oh well.. If I know, I shouldn't have waste my time travel down, I should have spend my time down here blogging, surfing the net or even sleep.
I hate you. Hate the way you treat me. Is the the way I should deserve whenever I treat someone nicely...? Whatever............................

2am and the rain is falling
Here we are at the crossroads once again
You're telling me you're so confused
You can't make up your mind
Is this meant to be
You're asking me

But only love can say
Try again or walk away
But I believe for you and me
The sun will shine one day
So I'll just play my part
And pray you'll have a change of heart
But I can't make you see it through
That's something only love can do

In your arms as the dawn is breaking
Face to face and a thousand miles apart
I've tried my best to make you see
There's hope beyond the pain
If we give enough, if we learn to trust

I know if I could find the words
To touch you deep inside
You'd give our dreams just one more chance
Don't let this be our last good-bye

today is not my day!! woke up by my dad call at around 10plus this morning. he suppose to wake me up, but expected, he didn't. kinda disappointed.. doze off after hang up the call. dad call me again at 11plus, asking me where am i, and i told him i'm in bed. he gave me a good scolding, and i rush to shower and prepare for dental appointment.
went to eat my favourite food before going to dental.. reach NDC at 130pm. Waited till 215pm then my turn.. Head in, remove the band of my teeth, and insert new things into my tooth. Pain, indeed. =( Kinda regret putting braces, I miss having eating solid food.. Sigh, I want to have a set of straight teeth!!
Waited close to an hour for extraction of teeth. This time round, I'm very piss with Dr. Poon. Its so painful, painful then last week. I've no idea why. And is like, she's having a hard time to extract my teeth, and she even rub against my lips, which is like having some ucler there.
Dr Woo told me about the metal thing that she insert will cause to have ucler, and right now, my flesh are having pains. And I've no idea how to wax the matal thing, gonna approach Christine/Edna tomorrow for help..
Reach home at about 530pm. Cook my dinner. Porridge as usual.. So hungry till when the food is cook, I straight away eat. Its hot, and I'm craving for food. The numb didn't last long. After food, my gums are in pains. Pain till I cried. I can't describe the pains, just that I know its more painful then piercing. Can you imaging that?
Head stright to bed after dinner. Hoping that the pain will go away. Manage to fall asleep a little while later. Woke up at around 915pm, look for my HP, there isn't any message from him, kinda disappointed..
Till now, my gums are still bleeding. And I've no idea what to do. I'm hungry, in pains, heartbroken. I sprain my leg, I'm fuck-up right now. Whatever......

im sick of the people who tag at my board, so i've remove my tagboard.. anyway, there's nothing to tell me, am i right to say so? ha... loser, get the fcuk away from my board. if you wanna tag, type your fucking name down... whatever..

this week gonna be the last week of sales period, might be requesting to transfer over to Bugis if not Wisma.. anyway, be going dental tomorrow.. gonna remove another 2 teeth of mine.. =( had been eating porridge recently, and i'm sick of it.. getting more and more skinny.. finally ate RICE today.. whahaha.. thanks to christine & edna for company me to eat chicken rice...
ok, thats all for today, gonna rush my assignment..................................... tired tired tired tired tired

i've enough of those morons out there. *argh* anyway, password protected.. so, just pray hard that i able to stop all those fucking shit. planned to shift my blog, but changing of html, is a sucking thing to do. doesn't have much time for it.
anyway, shall do a little of updates about myself. tuesday went to national dental centre, remove my 2 teeth. this coming tuesday will be removing another 2.. so braces will be up by 2nd august.. =) feeling painful right now, whereby i cant even eat solid food. so i guess i gonna be more skinny..
went to bugis village to find boss, she was shock whereby my face become sharper.. oh well.. just hope that this will stop, i wanna get a little fatter. TOO SKINNY LIAO!!
tomorrow full-shift.. and i've tons of homeworkd to do...!! all are science!! science!! and science!! *scream* doesn't have enough time for the week.. tomorrow full-shift, saturday afternoon, sunday full-shift. just pray hard that wont break down..
thats all i wanna say, tired.. time for bed.. =)
oh yeah, happy birthday to my mum!! =)
hey, elina, i think i be going clubbing on 30th july 05' interested? club momo mostly. my girlfriend getting crazy over there.. hahah..

ignore whoever that went tagging. wanna talk big, only know how to use sucky nicks. if you dare, just type out your fcuking names. =) i will find out who is the one out there tagging. soon. =) have fun yeah?

alrite, a long time since ive blog. and im not at home now. didnt have much things on recently just that chiong shifts and stuffs.
went to school today. only me and joyce around.. didnt attend the whole lessons cause there are 3hours of CHEMISTRY which the teacher just sucks.. head off, and she went to meet her bf, as for me, met up with ugly ducking. =)
there's all i wanna say. and im freaking tired. didnt manage to have alot of rest, and right now, i feel like sleeping. finally sales period is over and the shifts are more relax now.. =) alright that's all for today..

i dont need any nameless people out there to be tagging. :) if you wanna tag, please leave down your real name to talk to me, if not, fcuk off.

a nice and sucky day for me. drunk at william's chalet. whereby they gonna carry me home. muhaha.. :) that's all i wanna say. happy birthday my dear friend..

finally learn alteration.. "not bad.." comment by my 2nd incharge. being learning alteration for the past 2days.. really need improvement.. :)
well, for the past 2days, seems fine to me. nothing much really happen.. went to town yesterday after 930pm to meet up with ugly ducking. didn't do much thing. just that i went to school! =D haha, whatever it is, i am the way i used to be..
happy anot, i still dont know. just that i'm sick and tired of this life..
oh well.. happy birthday to my best friend WILLIAM..
and hey, my friend gave birth to her 2nd child.. =D congrats... :)
hmm.. tomorrow be going national dental centre.. kinda scare right now.. but, i gonna be a babe soon.. *lols*

im so freaking tired. and is like next week.. my shifts super shiong.. almost everyday work except fri and sat.. which i've request.. sunday full shift. =( i'm sick.. whereby everyone is sweating like hell, i'm wearing a jacket.. just pray hard that able to move on till sunday. until the sales period is over..
anyway, the sales i'm refering to is Samuel & Kevin. Having a clearance sales.. hmmm.. tops are only $8 as for pants.. Long ones are $19 and shorts are $15.. fcukin cheap. Sales are only at Tampines, Junction 8 and Causeway Point. PLEASE VISIT TAMPINES MALL OUTLET. SOME THANKS..
Bernard sent us home.. sitting on his car, nearly doze off.. but he speed, so fast i've reach home.. wanna rest more, but dont even have the time.. well, tomorrow working 1/2M, and i hope i be able to wake up.. i guess i gonna go to bed now..
anyway, thanks to xindai who upload the pictures that i've took.. super zilian, i'm bored, what to do..

NOTE: the hand behind is BUBU's one..

she loves me doing piggy face..


taken at flash & splash..

US!!



ok,thats all for today.. good night..

well, gonna be blogging before i go to bed. its late i know and too much tthings seems to be on my mind.. was reading xindai's blog, and realise that there's a turning point for this friendship.. what happen to me? looks like everything, every single problems are on me.. why am i treating her this way?
sigh, i'm not like this in the past, i dont club alot in the past.. but why nowadays clubbing since to be part of my life? hey ebel, are you out of mind or something? i dont know what else to say, but to say i'm sorry....
i've no idea what's wrong with me recently. is like things are going out of control... quarrel with ugly ducking earlier on. whereby he's outside my shop waiting for me, and waited for me close to 1.5hour. and i yell at him when we're near our place, and i even ask him to get lost...
i didnt mean to say those things to him, but why are those words just came out of my mouth for no reason?im freaking tired and he's out there cheering me up, and i dont even appreicate it..
all i can say is that i'm very tired of everything, and all my loved ones left me.. including ugly ducking... i'm left with nothing.. nothing......

i'm freaking tired..! that's all i can say.. :)

Day was fine with me.. Went back to GVSS to collect my craft, I've left it at work place anyway.. Muhahha.. Then head to work, was late, called to apologise anyway.. Pretty busy day for me.. Was doing cashiering all the way, no time to rest my hands.. So busy till... No choice, having clearance sales.. =(
Met up with Andy after that.. Silly boy waited for me for like 1hour.. And ugly ducking, I'm sorry, I didnt know you will came down, cause you didn't even tell me.. And is like I've already met up with my friend.. A thousands of apology.. =((
Anyway, he came over my place to watch SuperStar. That's some kinda of stupid? Haha.. Head out for supper and head home.. Tired day for me, didn't really chill out.. I'm too tired to do all the talking and stuffs.. Gotta go now. =)
Pictures taken on Wednsday.. Xin Dai & Me.. I really love the pictures taken!! Just SO nice.. xD

My =B teeth.. Will be gone soon.. xD

Anyway, taken long ago with Xiang Long..


to that nameless freak out there who don't even wanna be name, hey asshole, listen upp, if you wanna tag at my board, better leave your name if you wanna know the answer, if not, just shut that hell up. =) some thanks.. if you don't like my blog, the details i've wrote, get lost..

shall start from yesterday... went to school as usual, no idea why christine sms me telling me that he's at school. -_-' i'm like "oh okie.." make my way to school, an hour late.. sit there chat with the girls, and lesson end..
waited for cherlyn's bf to come, then we head our way to mrt station.. together with joyce and christine.. hmmm..... make my way to NYP to meet up with ugly ducking, then head to town to eat mos burger, then he make his way to work, as for me, slack around till xindai come down.. took some prints at hmv there, and i saw BUBU!! I MISS YOU SIS!
anyway, my mood just extrem sucks yesterday.. went to momo again.. this time round with vivenn and her gfs.. there are shows around, but still alright.. kinda bored at first, then i head my way down to chinablack to meet andy. suppose to slack there, but in the end, the q is fucking long... *scream*
then with delun and his friends head back to momo to slack.. hmmm.. vivien kinda shock to see me there, not long after i reach, the music just turn me off... really very na-ting. ELINA, READ THIS?
wednesday, don't go momo better.. the music on/off at all times... ... ... oh well.. time for a shower and heading to school to collect my stuffs.. =)

i think this post will be kind of long.. shall start from yesterday.
met up with saren and joyce. suppose to be going for lab lesson.. we travel all the way down, fucking hell, its not open.. it stated, "Youth day" whatever shit. damn, we're like swearing at the school, whereby no one called us. damn school.. *scream*
anyway, went to Plaza Singapura with Saren, head towards SpotLight, she bought some stuffs, and i'm accompany her all the way.. enjoy myself though. too much memories there.. movies that we watched and stuffs.. the photo frame that i suppose to paint and stick the name.. i didn't even touch it.. was wondering should i put it aside..
anyway, went all the way down to NYP to meet up with ugly ducking, head all the way down to suntec to watch "war of the worlds" suppose to be watching the movie with gio peeps, but ended up they cancelled.. oh well..
just reach home not long, and the moment i step into my house, my parents keep nagging, nagging and nagging.. about school and stuffs.. so what if i didnt go to school? i'm still the one who pay for my school fees. i shouldnt have blame them or show my attitude to them..
and i went crazy, i scream at them.. feeling real sucky now.. i dont know why.. is like everything doesn't go my way.. was doing closing just now at shop, $1160 i see until $1660.. shortage of $450 in cash float.. everyone got shock, and they count and count and count.. i made my mistake, but i didnt even apologise..
i walk home instead of taking bus home.. though i'm really tired, but i just wanna be left alone.. for no reason, picking up my phone and called wei jie. i dont know why, just wanna talk to him or something? didnt have much conversation and it only lasted for less then a minute..
tomorrow be going school, xindai askme if i'm free tomorrow, but looks like she's not meeting me.. which means that, i be alone tomorrow.. i dont know why i'm giving her cold shoulder.. and i know i shouldnt have do that.. sigh.. im really breaking down..







i just hope that tears will stream down my face so that i'll feel better...

i've been down
and now i'm blessed
i felt a revelation coming around
i guess it's right
it's so amazing
every time i see you i'm alive
you're all i've got
you lift me up
the sun and the moonlight
all my dreams are in your eyes

i wanna be inside your heaven
take me to the place you cry from
when the storm blows your way
i wanna be the arm to hold you
every bit of air you breathin in
i'm soothing when
i wanna be inside your heaven

when minutes turn to days and years
if mountain fall i'll still be here
holding you until the day i die

i wanna be inside your heaven
take me to the place you cry from
when the storm blows your way
i wanna be inside your heaven
take me to the place you cry from
when the storm blows you way
i wanna be the arm to hold you
every bit of air you breathin in
i'm soothing when
i wanna be inside your heaven
i wanna be inside your heaven

a long time since i've blog.. some sorry here.. =)

anyway, things seems fine for me.. bought some stuffs during my off days.. went shopping with ugly ducking on friday.. boought myself, 4 boxers from topshop, 1ripcurl bag, and a skirt.. muahha.. so much nice things..
sat work morning shift, after that rush home to shower and head down to MOMO with elina.. a very nice place! much nicer then chinablack i guess.. anyway, music is R&B.. went crazy that night.. dancing all night long.. drink quite alot i guess. didnt get drunk or something.. fun.. really fun especially with them.. haha.. alrite, i'm kinda tired, lazy to blog also.. haha.. update soon.. real soon..
this week shifts are very shiong.. almost work like 5days in a row? only 2 off days.. on monday and wednesday.. =)

prepare to have a long post.. i have lots of things to blog.. just for today..

listening to fan yi chen - piano now.. this is the only song on my playlist.. i dont know why i keep listen to this song.. maybe, just feel something? recalling that time, a month ago, when i attended haze & chee siang's wedding, chee siang was singing this song to haze.. that moment was so sweet.. so memorable.. the song is just so nice, download and listen..
anyway, a very tired day for me.. suppose to work 1/2M today, still wondering where should i go and stuffs.. but ended up working Morning shift.. then change to M-8.. I was the cashier of the day.. whereby there isn't any backup. can you imaging how crazy i went? i was searching for sizes and what's next is that got people q-ing up to make payment.. i was running around the whole shop.. i'm sick of it.. man power is down! yet my in-charge still say "enough, enough.."
whatever.. he's the in-charge, so let it be.. but seriously, not enough.. nora drop by today, but didn't have the chance to talk to her.. the queue was so long, and i'm freaking bad mood.. *argh* whatever.
8pm sharp, phone rang.. looking for my in-charge.. and he took a pen and write down all the notes.. and.. i'm freaking angry.. everything including new arrivals are on promotions! which means we gonna do shifting.. *scream* and no choice, work full shift.. and i only have 1hour and 15mins of break today? which means i only have 1meal today? in others words, i getting slimer. =( oh well..
i don't blame him, what to do? as a shift incharge.. there's nothing much we can do. man power down.. [*evil smile* i getting free 20pieces nuggets from him soon.. muhahaha...!] well, lucky didnt make any plans today..
was doing closing today, and outlets were calling me for like contributions and stuffs. this is the first time i doing closing, so stress, yet got so many things to rush on.. forget to do this, forget to do that.. been doing it over and over again just because i didnt get the figure right.. just hate myself for being so stupid..
was on my way home, i don't know why is like i'm breaking down or something? i dont need anyone to accompany me? just wanna be left alone, although all of them are taking train, and i'm giving them stupid reason like "taking bus is cheaper" yah, its true that taking bus is cheaper, but maybe i just wanna be left alone or something?
didn't smile the whole day, maybe just thinking about myself? having the thought to quit studies.. continue work all the way.. as a training senior.. pay is higher and stuffs.. and i can learn more things.. but there's always the case whereby i gain something, i will lose something.. for this case, i will have to give up my studies..
its true that i lose interest with studies, studying the same thing for 2 years are like wasting my time.. but if i give up now, what if, next time i wanna find a better job? i only have a N level cert.. sigh.. this is making me so crazy.. =(
was thinking about what have i done is this life that's useful? the answer is a no.. i didnt do anything useful, but i did alot of sin.. i've hurt alot of people who cares and loves me. but still wondering am i worth for them to pour their loves on me? is God punishing me? whereby when i'm devoted, i get back nothing? sigh..
gonna stop blogging here, going to bed soon.



i miss you..

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