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ramblings of a young adult

Maybe its time for me to blog. Yesterday Andy came down to have supper with me. Having a very very bad gastric. And I'm glad that he came down. If not, I guess I be heading home straight without having any food. :) Though we met up less then 2hours, but I really enjoy your company. Thanks dude.

Off today. Head to town with William. Meet up with Elena to take the bag from her. Have our lunch cum dinner at Sakae Sushi. 2 of us only manage to eat like 20plates. Ahhh... What happen to us?! Haha. Anyway, head to Far East. Bought my crown ring. Hee, pretty happy today. Though it just a ring. (: But I just loveee it..

Head to TM, my plan was to go shop, and put my bag at my locker, but turn out to be, sitting at Starbucks, with Chloe, Eunice, Ivy & her BF. And William is like "Wtf!?" Slack there till like 815pm, Chloe left, William left. And the rest of us, head to KFC to have our dinner. But turn out to be, they were eating, and I'm looking.

Pretty boring day I guess. Trying my best not to shop. Not to buy things. Pretty broke recently, plus I need to save up for my private school money, plus.. Sigh, don't wanna talk about the rest.

Tomorrow, full shift. Shag. But I'm glad that Chloe organise a shop gathering. And this will be the last gathering for me. I got transfer. I finally say it out. I got transfer to some other outlet. I won't be saying to where. And if I did lie, I'm sorry. I just want you, not to bother me anymore.

Oh yeah, did I say that I pierce back my tounge? Uh.. I pierce it back. Maybe its something to numb myself. This time round, DIY again. Gonna get my nose stud back. And I guess, gonna start to be punk again. Ah..


Please laugh. And photo was taken by BUBU! Oh yeah, owe you & Jo drinks. Hmmm.. Let me know when you guys are free alright!

Told Starbucks peeps that I'm leaving, and there's this guy, name Bryan. Haha. He say he gonna treat me a drink! As for the other guy, name Daniel.. Hmmm.. He bought me 2slices of cakes. So sweet of em'. I'm so glad that I found friendly neighbour. And guess what, I know this guy who works at Adidas. Which means, every where I go, I get discount! Including Fila.. Woo.. I'm loving it. But sad to say, I'm getting transfer. Sigh.

This is the video clip, dedicate to all TM S&K staffs. Thank you for everything.. (:
click here


I'm still breathing.. And I'm still holding on.. Life still moves on, and I'm leaving soon.. Last shop gathering on Saturday. I hope I will enjoy everything being planned by Chloe before I go.. Afterall.. I still don't want to go..

I've been carrying so much loads.. I'm so tired and I'm out of breathe.. Maybe its time, for me to let go.. And I need a break..

i broke down, and i cried.. not because of anyone, but because of myself.. i realise, i'm just a failure..

Was reading someone's blog. And now, I realise about that someone's absent, and I've realise I've hurt that someone so badly. Lets name the someone A.

A has been always around by my side listening to what's going on between me and Edward. Though we[Edward & me] broke up, I've took a long time to get over it. And I'm happy and glad that A been staying by my side listening to all those craps that I want to say. Without complaing, without realising how much I've hurt A.

Fate being playing around with us, and eventually, we're just.. Maybe not even friends. And, been SMS-ing A as a friend, and I know that A is the "anonymous" tagging at my blog, but A doesn't seems to even bother to type out A's name. Instead, using "anonymous".

Things happen this way, and I shall not even bother whereby A doesn't even bother. Why must I bother anything when someone even appreciate what I've been thru? To get out of the dark side of my life, and start a new life? A new chapter?

If A being staying by my side all along, I believe, the me right now, won't be that depress. Oh yeah, I'm depress.. Indeed I am. Down with almost everything. Though working seems to be part of my life, and I swear, I really love my job. But, after work, I seems to be alone again.

Phone seems so quiet, once in a awhile its noisy. Whereby my Babes, and my friends are meeting me. Only that day, it seems to be noisy. Other then that, maybe one SMS in a day. Maybe afterall, I'm stil a lonely bitch.. [Babe In Total Control of Herself]

Met up with Jee Jee just now. Its damn long since I've see her. And the first thing that we saw each other, we hug each other. And thank her for that hit of her phone on my head. That's dumb, but pretty funny back then.

Went to Long John Silver to have our dinner, and realise I didn't bring my wallet along. Its really soooo.... Sigh, don't wanna talk about that. And thankful enought that the meal was on her. :)

Slack around at Marina Square. Doing nothing. Just sit down, gossipe about back then in Giordano. Bring us back so much beautiful memories. Of everything that happened back then, and those stupid things that we did. I really miss those times.. If time can turn back, I will cherish more of them. Not like now..

I don't know what else to say about it, but I'm not ok. William called. Asked me to join him at Momo. Though Momo is my favourite hang out. Everything will be on him. But I choose to stay at home instead. I've no idea why, but I guess, I'm starting to shut myself up between myself and my friends. Maybe that's the good way to "talk" to myself, in order to know what I've done wrong.

Maybe I didn't do anything wrong. Just that God gave me a wrong path to walk through. I be fine I guess, but I'm just down. I wanna be strong again. Like what I always did back then. The happy, bubbly Ebel seems dead.. I need time to find back my soul again...



I couldn't feel anything other than pain. There is no hungry, no regret, no uncertainty, no humiliation; only a pain so sure that it seem inevitable..

Why must I be the one who go? Is it because I'm no one to you? Since I've to go, I will do a good job for my future..

Been a great day for me. Meet up with Chloe. And she's late for like 1/2hour? But I'm surprise that I didn't get angry about it. I guess, I've change to a better person. Learn to be patient. (: That's good isn't it?

Chill at Mac, talk cock and stuffs. There's this guy who pass me a note. "You're Ebel right?" I'm like "WTF!? How you know?" And he said he's from Who Lives Near You. But that doesn't really bother me alot.

Anyway, slack there about an hour or so, shop around Bugis Junction. And head down to play Pool. And I swear I'm pretty bored. Head to archard, and "catch" Pooh. With $3, I caught a Pooh Bear. (: Lucky isn't that? And I love it alot! Chloe wanted it too. And I guess we spend like over $10 on it, but caught nothing. Haha!

Went to Mos Burger, sit there, talk alot of cock. And was like, talking about whoever we see. Funny thing. At least we did relax, chill and stuffs. A very enjoyable day. Javier came over to join us. Had our dinner there, and went to Bugis Point. I swear, its some CRAPS there.

Oh well. At least I found another place to chill. And.. Gonna bring my next BF there! LOL! Provided if got people want. Haha. Anyway.. Chloe and I were pretty bored. We play around with Pooh Bear. When I'm free, I will upload the photos in. (: Meanwhile, time for me to rest.

Life still moves on. A normal life I'm leading right now. Most of my friends are overseas. People like XINDAI basket, I miss her so BADLY! :( But thankful enough that she did SMS that she bought me more GREEN stuffs. Love her so much! :D and poor Nelson being left alone in Singapore. Ha.

Anyway, been enjoying myself recently. Get to know one guy in Lot1. Yah CCK. And yeah, I said CCK. Its rare that I really go that place, and I went to Causeway Point to give Vivien a surprise, but.. She's on MC that day. :( Boo-hooo...

Then headed to town that day. I think was Saturday. My off day. Poor thing. Nelson was with me the whole day. Just doing nothing. And while both of us were at Lot1 that day, KELVIN, that Project Super that guy, was there. Having a mini-concert or something? Its was so PACK and so HOT! Argh..

Headed to town to meet up with Simon and rest. And total there were 6 of us. Was at Far East, and I saw MARCUS. Omg! Wass up with his hair? And seriously, I cant recongise him at all.. Until we walked pass each other. Ha.

Went to Borders to slack. Wanted to chill at Fishermen Village, but just an hour plus to slack, might as well chill nearby. So we headed there to relax. Talk cock as usual.

Nothing much happen recently. Just that having very bad gastric pains recently. Been pop-ing too much pills. I hope that doesn't really affect me that much. Gosh.. How I wish I don't have gastric problems. And I'm having damn good sleep recently. Maybe I overwork myself in someway.

As for work, I'm still doing fine and great. Just that no idea why, sometimes I get bored with it. A few hours of "sian-ness" after that I'm fine. So much things to do, yet perhaps, I choose to close one eye..

Gonna go prepare now. Not working today. And, I need to prepare to meet LAO DA!!! :D





I guess.. I be fine still.. I'm still holding on, trying to be strong.. Once again..







Whenever I'm weary from the battles that rage in my head
You make sense of madness when my sanity hangs by a thread
I lose my way but still you seam to understand
Now and forever
I will be your man

Sometimes I just hold you
Too caught up in me to see

I'm holding a fortune that heaven has given to me
I'll try to show you each and every way I can
Now and forever
I will be you man

Now I can rest my worries and always be sure
That I won't be alone anymore
If I'd only known you were there all the me
All this time

Until the day the ocean doesn't touch the sand
Now and forever
I will be your man
Now and forever
I will be your man

I can't hide the way I feel about you anymore.
I can't hold the hurt inside,
keep the pain out of my eyes anymore.
My tears no longer waiting.
My resistance ain't that strong.
My mind keeps recreating
a life with you alone.
And I'm tired of pretending
I don't love you anymore.

Let me make one last appeal to show you how I feel about you.
Cause there's no one else, I swear,
holds a candle, anywhere,
next to you.
My heart can't take the beating
of not having you to hold.
A small voice keeps repeating
deep inside my soul.
It says I can't keep pretending
I don't love you anymore.

I've got to take the chance or let it pass by
If I expect to get on with my life.

And I can't hide the way I feel about you anymore.
I can't hold the hurt inside,
keep the pain out of my eyes anymore.
My tears no longer waiting.
My resistance ain't that strong.
My mind keeps recreating
a life with you alone.
And I'm tired of pretending
I don't love you anymore.

im just so tired....... maybe its time for me to rest...

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake, a smile, a laugh
Every day of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

maybe i should just blog a little about what's going on with me.. being promted on 28th feb 06 to ssa2. and of course, i'm happy. all these is what i've been craving to have all along. and i hope i really did do a great job..

things aint going well for my side.. been struggling with almost, everything.. been really down these few days.. trying to be strong, but i guess, i won't be holding on for long.

work is my only focus right now, and i choose to gave up studies. though i really want to study, but right now, i'm not allow to. giving up my career, and convert to a normal part timer. i don't want. plus, i'm having some problems with money wise..

plus, those feelings.. lingers around.. i-miss-him-so-badly.

sigh, i've no idea how now.. been crying so badly recently, though i force myself not to cry. cause crying, means admit defeated..

sigh. i've no idea what else to blog.. and i guess, i gonna go out now. to take a break.. and i'm still falling..

badly hurt.. indeed badly hurt.. i'm just not myself.. once again..



i'm falling.. but who will be here to hold onto me?

It's so hard to lose the one you love
To finally have to say goodbye
You try to be strong but the pain keeps holding on
And all that you can do is cry
Deep within your heart you know it's time to move on
When the fairy tale that you once knew is gone

When the last tear drop falls
I'll still be holding on to all of our memories
And all of what used to be

When the last tear drop falls
I will stand tall
And know that you're here with me in my heart
When the last tear drop falls

So now I'm alone and life keeps moving on
But my destination still unknown
Will there be a time when I'll fall in love again?
When I was meant to walk these streets alone
If there was just one wish I could be granted here tonight
It would be to have you right back by my side

Now it's time for me to find my happiness again
And the emptiness from missing you
Will never ever end, baby

i'm badly hurt...

finally manage to blog. sigh, recently being too busy, dont even have the time to online. but i'm glad, finally get the chance to sit here and blog!

i'm happy right now, cause i finally get promoted. the dreams finally fulfill, and of course, there's a relief within myself. surrounding friends are happy for me, and i'm proud of myself too!

though getting promoted, but recently, stress happen to be adding on, and moreover, i'm the one supporting my first in-charge. well.. didn't really have much chance to go out to relax, but manage to drink that night when i get promoted. thanks alan. (:

today is my off day, but yesterday night do my report till 3am in the morning. and i'm feeling so restless right now. sigh. tired, of course i am. and i feel like sleeping.. i'm so tired........ so much things i haven't even complete! argh..

If your sky is grey
Please let me know
There's a place in heaven
Where we'll go
If heaven is
A million years away
Oh just call me
And I'll make your day
When the nights are getting cold and blue
When the days are getting hard for you
I will always stay here by your side
I promise you
I'll never hide

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