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ramblings of a young adult

I feel so unappreciate at times. Seriously, it aint feeling GOOD! And I HATE ITT!! *SCREAM*

My last day suppose to be on the 28th Feb. Which means today. Due to alot of in-charges resign, plus alot of shops are down with man-power(due to temp staff contact ends) I decided to stay on for one more week. Meaning extend till end of this week.

But in the end, my in-charge was telling me (F.Y.I. I demoted to 2nd due to some stupid reason) she need to clear RO for some reason. And I've to work afternoon shift from Friday - Sunday. ITS SO DUMB CAN!?

And she's giving me these shifts.
Monday - Off* Requested
Tuesday - Morning
Wednesday - Morning
Thursday - 1/2Morning* Requested
Friday - Afternoon
Saturday - Afternoon
Sunday - Afternoon

This is so no-life. But I don't mind right now, cause Benjamin is away, Xindai is working. Both Ong & KS are on attachment. As for Bubu, no idea. HAHA! Anyway, she called on Sunday telling me that she need to work Morning shift on tuesday, I question her why.

She said "I need to meet up Gio peeps for dinner." And I agreed to cover for her. She told me that there will be a little of conversation this week. But have no idea when. So both of us agreed to help each other even if its our off day or 1/2day.

Sounds cool isn't that? But today.. Talking about today. It makes me feel like a BIG FOOL!! *scream*

Signage suppose to be at Wisma at 430pm. I went down to collect. By then, I reach Wisma at 430pm, signage wasn't there. So I head to have my dinner first, then went back. I reach Wisma again at 530pm, but it didn't reach. So I called her. She asked me to go back shop first. I'm like #^$(#&$(# whereby I'm already there, why can't I wait awhile more so that I can collect it, and no one else gonna waste the trip down to take. But she insisted.

So I head back. By the time I reach Marina Square, THE SIGNAGE REACH WISMA!!! I SO ANGRY CAN!? Its like wasting my time, and my transport fees! *scream*

Anyway, today, after she left, she called back shop 1/2hour later. Telling me that some peeps will be sending down gondola(whatever you spell it), meaning I've to shift everthing on the gondola. BUT! SHE SAID SHE'S UNABLE TO HELP ME WITH IT!!! JUST BECAUSE OF HER DINNER!!

Wah kao. I've no idea how to say about her. I'm upset! And I feel so UNAPPRECIATED! *hmpfff... If I know, I won't agree to change shifts with her! If being nice is been"eaten" by others, next time, I will play mean way. I'm upset!

Gonna be full shift tomorrow, due to Wisma down with man-power. Be helping Wisma from 3pm till closing. And I hope, I will still be awake. Cause I'm tired. And its 24hours since I hear anything from Benjamin.. Baby. I MISS YOU.

I've been doing nothing on monday, except sleep, watch DVDs (Prison break & Step Up). Ben pass me Saw3. I really took the courage to watch while eating chips. Seriously, it gross me. And I switch it off after the very 2nd guy dead. (Baby must be laughing right now, cause I've stop where I stop before he left for Brisbane.) HAHA!

Good night. And I'm tired.. See you in Lala-land my dear. And I love you...

30more days..

Its a boring day. Spend 2days at home doing nothing. Off continous 2days. Anyway, went to church yesterday. After service, went to Sister Yilun's place for make up cell group meeting. Then headed down to TM to meet up with Ben's parents. They comfirm with me the flight and stuffs. I be going over on 28th March. Be back home on 4th April.

Anyway, I miss the MDIS enrollment today. Mostly be going PSB to take up the course. If not, be going SIM. But, will be skipping SIM cause of the fees. Sian.

I'm freaking bored right now.

Oh yeah, did I said that I manage to catch fire work last week. On saturday night? I'm like at toilet, and I heard noise. So I rush out, and manage to catch the firework! WOW! Its nice please! I actually approach some strangers. And the best thing is that he help me with snapping of photos!








I gonna see Ben soon. Another 30days.. (: Looking forward for it!

I'm vexed! Over studies right now. Still wondering should I take Part Time or Full Time? Hmmm.. I've quit my current job. But the dumb thing is that I convert to a part-timer. Dumb enough isn't it? And the dumbest thing is that I've register part time course.

Right now the problem is, if I still stick with May in-take(Part time) I will have a rebate of $200. But I've nothing to do most of the time. -_-' And the best is that I'm able to go Brisbane this coming March. Cause school starts in May.

If I change to full time. The course will be starting in Mid-march. I will still have the $200 rebate. But I will miss the chance of going Brisbane to find Ben. If I skip this in-take, the next intake will be April. I will miss the $200 rebate.

OH NO! HELPPPPP~~~~ Solutions please!

His dad just told me that we're going Brisbane this coming March.. 28th March 07' for a week.. =D Looking forward to see baby there! Just finish web-caming with him. Haha. We'll see each other again tomorrow at the same time! I love you baby!

Just another day. Full shift today. Feeling weird when I wake up. No morning call. All by myself. Thankful enough that I'm able to wake up. Shower and stuffs, reach shop at 1030am. That's early. Usually I will rush like mad. 1030 at city hall mrt and rushing towards pick & bite to grab breakfast, and by 1045 reach shop.

The whole day was like crap. Not much customer in the morning, until around 4pm, crowd starts to come in.. And the whole shop manpower is really tight. And we;ve been supporting one another through the entired day. Shag. Tired..

Fabian came to join me for dinner. So sweet of him. Catch up alot. Irfan & KS been calling me out for supper. By then, I'm hell tired. Plus mum prepare dinner cum supper for everyone in the family. And I guess, its better to get home early..

Right now, my eyes are heavy.. And I wanna sleep.. Cause Ben already wish me good night. Wil be catching him at MSN later in the morning. I love you darling. (:

Been holding onto my phone 24/7. Just in case Ben call. I'm scared that I didnt manage to pick up the call on time. He called twice today. And twice I manage to pick up. And the funny thing is that whenever he called, I'm still sleeping.

The first call was at about 9am Singapore more. Which Brisbane is about 11am. Telling me to wake up and stuffs. Trying to act cool har? "This is very important, take down this number" I'm pretty stone(I assume he knows about it) and I just "gong-gong" get up and took a pen down and write the down the number.

All the aunts came over today. Been doing nothing but slacking around with my cousins. (Of course the older ones.) Mum hired "dong-dong-qiang" over. Its so noisy! And I wish that baby was here watching with me. But I know.. Anyway, watch JJ's concert the afternoon, played Monopoly and dumb-dumb game till dinner.

And eventually doze off on the bed while reading "For One More Day.." I thought that will be a nice book but I've no idea why I doze off.. Baby called again. At about 7pm. Singapore time. Chatted awhile.. And eventually I realise I've been missing him badly. :(

Called up Ong & KS. Suppose to be chilling out session, ended up 3of us went to catch movie. Queue was long but manage to get 4th row from the back! WHAHA. Someone just gave up booking, so eventually we get nice seats. =) Watch PROTEGE. Nice show can? I rate it 4 out of 5.

Suppose to watch Protege with Ben.. But didn't manage to have time to watch with him. That's when I realise that.. Work took up alot of my time.. Sigh.

Its 136am in the morning. And Brisbane will be 336am in the morning. I miss Ben. And I just miss him. I don't know how am I gonna walk with this.. But I know I will be able to walk through it. Hazel (Ben's sister) MSN me. Telling me that we might be going Brisbane in March.. And I'm looking forward towards it.. I miss you.. And I just do..

Send Benjamin off yesterday. Finish work at 6pm. His parents came over MSQ to pick me up and we head towards airport. During work, I can hardly smile. Cause in a couple of hours, I will not be able to see him for 139days.

Time getting closer and closer. Heart beat faster and faster. Somehow tears just flow down our cheeks when we're trying so hard not to cry.. He's trying to be strong, so am I.. And I know, I can't be strong.. I can never be.. And I know I can't..

I'm feeling very bad now. Doesn't feel so good right now. I'm just tired. Restless.. And I wanna take a break.. Avery very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very long break.

Off today. Ended up only meet up Xindai in the morning, and here I am blogging at home. And seriously, if I know, I rather go out and chill. (though I'm freaking broke.) I don't wanna stay at home. My parents know that I'm off today, and they keep asking me to do this, do that.. Ended up, right now, I haven't even start any single thing.

My skin are dead dry, and my eyes are pretty heavy. Will be leaving the company in like 2weeks time. Ben leaving this weekend. And seriously, there's so much things I haven't do.. I haven't find a back-up job. And I find it really silly by quitting before finding a job. And somehow, I really wanna take a long long long break.. And I'm very tired.. I just wanna close my eyes.. And I don't wanna wake up anymore..

I'm just sick and tired of everything.. Somehow....








Lord, give me strength please..

I've been seeing darling for the past 1week. To be frank, I'm not bored with it, either am I sick of it. After 12am today, I only left with 5days with him. And I'm scare..

2years ago, I'm at Giordano. Rushing like mad from Taka to school to collect my O level results. And I fail. Last year, I took my O level results again. Time flies. And I realise I've been doing nothing for the past few years. Time flies. And I realise maybe its time to do something. And I should think about the road I'm gonna take.

Be enrolling to MDIS. Mostly will be taking Marketing Dip course. And yeah, still thinking. And I realise I've waste alot of my youth in working life style. And I should really think about what am I gonna do as time goes by. Am I gonna stuck at selling floor till like? Hmmm.. I've no idea.

Baby is leaving soon.. I'm scare. But I know that I will stay strong. Cause Lord will give us strength! With God everything is possible!

Will I always be there for you?
When you need someone,
Will I be that one you need?
Will I do all my best to, to protect you?
When the tears get near your eyes
Will I be the one that's by your side?
Will I be there when you call me in the middle of the night?
Will I keep the rain from falling down into your light?
I promise, I promise
I promise I will

Will I take tender tender care of you?
Take your darkest night and make it bright for you
Will I be there to make you strong and to lean on?
When this world has turned so cold
Will I be the one that's there to hold?
Will I be there when you call me in the middle of the night?
Will I keep the rain from falling down into your light?
I promise, I promise
I promise I will

Time flies. Its like 2weeks or less to Chinese New Year. Nattinee called. Telling me that she might be coming to Singapore to spend her new year with her parents. Well, I be glad that she's coming over. But on the other hand, Ben is leaving to Aust.

To be frank. I'm scare. Scare of getting thru all these alone. But I know that all the comforts that I need, God and Xindai will be with me. Emotions are starting to break down as time gets closer. Getting myself busy with work, so that I won't think so much. Trying not to write date to let me forget what date is it.

Somehow or rather, I know that I've left with 10days the moment I wake up. I know I've to be strong so that I can make things easier for the both of us. Sending him off anot it will be another problem. I know I can't bare to let him go. Either do I able to afford to go over there.

But I know that 10months will be fast. Either will it be slow. All I know is that I believe that everyone will stay with me for the 10months. So does Ben.. I know.. I will be strong...

I read this post. From Xindai's blog. And I weep. I'm so glad that I've her in my life. I'm so glad that she stand by my side.

tuesday, january 30, 2007
>>>

Seriously, i dunno what to blog.. I can't believe it, i slept till 5pm today, since about 1plus am the day before. Kinda feel i had wasted the day, which i actually planned to do some packing of my stuffs. Received a long sms from ebel, that kind of woke me up for a moment. It seems like one of the emo days for her.
For my dear friend...
Though i can't promise you i'll always be there after Ben left, but as long as time permits, i'll do my best. We are NOT drifting apart, its just that work has been tying both of us down, and makes it hard for us to meet. But it won't be for long, i promise...

{ fate can act in a curious way } Tuesday, January 30, 2007

I'm really glad that I have her in my life..

God, can you stop the time right now?

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