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ramblings of a young adult

I'm happy & happy & happy.

First, Ben finally found my JEANS! This took me real long to finally get it. And yeah, though its some funny brand, but seriously, I love the jeans alot. Really alot! Thanks baby for making the effort of travelling all the way to some ulu-ulu street to get.

Second, my brother wanted to change phone. So the current phone he's using right now, Samsung (whatever model) he's gonna give it to me! And I've a new phone for free! WHAHA. I'm so happy can. (First blessing)

Lastly, Ben just SMS me telling me that his sister just change Ipod. And her old Ipod(4GB) wants to give me. HAHA! Seriously, I should change my mp3 player. CAuse its already 4-5pieces. And I've no idea when am I suppose to get a new phone.

Was really considering between mp3 or phone. Its either I buy a mp3 and change to some random cheap phone, if not get a mp3 phone and I can freaking throw away the mp3. Still considering. But right now, I've both! And its for free! HAHA. God's amazing. Giving me so much blessing!

But the sad thing is that, money come, money go. BOO-HOO! Tomorrow is a public holiday, and pay being delay. Cause The Natural Source pay day is on 1st. So will eventully drag till 2nd. But I'm cool with that. This are the worst thing.

1) Mother's Day (13th May 07). I guess I'm old enough to get some stuff for my mum. Planning to buy her a pair of nice ear rings, if not gonna get her nice ring. Hmmm..

2) Dad's birthday (20th May 07). And I'm still figuring what to get for my dad. Hmmmm...

3) Ben's mum birthday cum my parents wedding anniversary(27th May 07). Ben and I gonna share the present for his mum. But the thing now is that he will only be back on Mid-June which means I gonna pay for him. That's alright, but the problem is I gonna have a hard time figuring out what to buy for his mum! OH MAN! As for my parents wedding anniversary... Hmmm..

I pretend I know nothing. lalala~

Time to watch Lost Season 2. CHaos.

Prison Break season 3, faster show.. I wanna watch so badly....

I wonder is she sensitive or is it because I didn't care about her feelings?

There's this used to be someone who really closed to me, whom I know her thru Giordano. We are close because we used to club together back then. And at that time, she's attach with this guy. Lets name him A.

After I left Giordano, I work at Samuel & Kevin at TM outlet. (For your info that was like 2years ago.) And happen that A's camp is somewhere near. There was once, he approach me to ask me stuffs about my friend. Eventually I heard his part of his story, and I heard story from her. To be frank, I think is my girlfriend being too unreasonable. (That's not the important part.)

After a couple of months, A and I still keep in contact. When O level results were out, he accompany me to TP and SP to appeal for the courses. Early in the morning he will meet me at Pasir Ris just to accomapany me to SP. And we met his friends there. Telling me stuffs about Poly, blah blah blah.

Then I will rush back to work. That was kinda close to Valentine's Day. And during Valentine Day, I gave him Chocolate which means Thank You. Yes, I apprecaite him as a friend. A good friend.

Not soon later, due to each other busy-ness, we somehow lost contact. We often meet up like once a month, or sometimes once in 2months. Or maybe, not at all. Just wanna catch up with a friend of mine, someone who used to be so close to me, so nice to me and stuffs.

And, my girlfriend back then, after I left Giordano, and after I've cut down on clubbings, we totally didn't meet up at all. She's busy Boyfriend-ing(Not A for your info), and I'm busy working.

My birthday this year, I went to Momo. And I bump onto A over there. As a friend, he gave me tissue roses as my birthday present. He only manage to fold 3roses. And I joke with him and said "Hey, you still owe me another 17." And of course he agreed.

In Friendster, I added a testimonial for him regarding the tissue roses, and my girlfriend(past tense) saw it. She asked me about what did A owe me. And I reply her "tissue roses for my birthday present." And I've no freaking idea why did she get so mad at.

And when I met up with A a couple of weeks later after my birthday, he told me about her questioning him. And she get real angry about this incident. And she even don't wanna talk to me anymore.

About a month ago, I went to Wisma to relief. She's working at Wisma. So I SMS her to ask her if we wanna have lunch together or something. But I didn't know when I reach there, she knock off. She's on half day that day.

I went to say Hi to her, and she pretend to be very busy. Cause her boyfriend was outside waiting for her. So I waited for awhile. And I walk off. Her boyfriend approach me and say that she's looking for me. For that moment, I guess she's not angry about the tissue roses issue.

But when I walk towards her, she just grab her bag and walk off. I was walking behind her, hoping that she'll turn back and talk to me. Maybe because where I saw her was kinda pack that's why she wanna walk to another place with lesser crowd. I follow behind her awhile, and I guess she know that I'm behind her, and she starting to walk faster and faster. SHE'S REALLY MEAN! AND I'M REAL ANGRY!

Well, a couple of days ago, I bump onto her at Far East. Yes I did saw her boyfriend outside the shop, and I pretend I didn't see anyone, I just walk pass him. He went into the shop to look for her, but I guess she didn't even care. And why must I care?

If its because of me being friend with her previous boyfriend, well, I've nothing to say other then HE MAKE A BETTER FRIEND THEN YOU. ITS ALRIGHT TO GIVE UP YOU AS A FRIEND. Cause you never appreciate your surrounding friends before.

I've been working at the new place for the past 2weeks. Its good, cause its much more relax, plus, the people there are fun. Though when I come, she go. If not I go, she come. No lapping. Ah. Kinda bored working alone, but anyway, its cool.

Get to understand skin care product, this and that. Understand what are the products that suitable for dry skin or what so ever. I never regret changing job. Though I've to start all over again. But I never regret. Cause I know, someday later, I will make it too.

Ah.. I miss Ben. =(

My freaking M1 bill came. Its so damn expensive. And I'm really piss off. I finally manage to clear up all the balance amount last month, but when this month came, I got a shock. I thought its some roll over amount that's why its so expensive, but when I see the Overdue Charges its $0.00 And I'm really pissed.

IDD 002 - $42.08
(This is usually how much I've call overseas to reach Ben, usually is about this much or even more.)

Roaming Incoming Calls - $12.08
(Which I've no idea what the hell is that)

Roaming Re-routed Calls - $30.50
Which these idiots called me while I'm at Australia. Its far too much. 52seconds cost $2.25? 2minutes 45seconds cost $7? I'm damn piss.

Roaming SMS send - $17.09

That will add up to $101.75. Argh. WHat I wanna conclude is that m1 bill is freaking expensive. AND I'M REALLY VERY UPSET!

One day just wasted just like that. Staring at the computer, looking into the space. How I wish that Ben is with me, and she is with me. I feel so emo right now. Tears just somehow coming out.. I don't know how long it will be, but I feel so pain. I've no idea why there are so many heartaches. Maybe I just miss YOU too much. I wanna go to Brisbane to find you so badly..

I love you baby.

I'm upset somehow.

Suppose to meet a friend of mine tomorrow but turn out to be cancel. I've actually requested off since she's off too. And in the first place she told me that she's off on monday. Argh.

Not angry with her, but just upset.


Boo-hoo..


And I wanna go Brisbane so badly..

My church mates. HAHA.



This mean nothing, but I find it nice. That's the reason why I post.

Behind my fake smile,
Is a place I hide from the world,
There's so much more to me,
Then you'll ever see.

At night I cry myself to sleep,
Thinking about my life.
I wish I didn't feel the pain,
That I feel in my broken heart.

Nobody knows the way I feel,
But yet they all think they do,
But they'll never understand,
The things that I've been through.
My tears
Silently make
Their journey down my cheek
Sliding its way into my soul
Washing away my horrible mistakes
Trying to heal my troubled past
Salt in my open wounds
Causing more pain
My tears
I'm so sick of the brick walls that keep forming,
right in front of my path.
i just want, for once, to be able to see the road ahead.
to have a clear vision of my goal in life.
to be motivated like never before
i want a fire in me, i just don't know how to start it.
for once, i don't want to endure the after effect,
the mistakes and screw ups,
that everyone i know hands to me.
why do i have to accept all these problems?
why cant i just say no, and move on?

Church aint boring afterall.. Easter Service.



Ben left Singapore. Uh huh. Again. He will be back around Mid-June I guess. God, please let the time pass fast.

And here I am blogging. I don't know what to say. Alot of things happen in this Easter week. Good? Of course good. Bad? Not so bad.

1) I FINALLY LEAVE BALENO KINGDOM(S) PTE LTD! And I've engage myself with another job. (link to 2)

2) Well, still stuck at retail line, but not the same line I'm in. I'm working at The Natural Source. Yeah. Skin care. Uh huh. Starting tomorrow. I'm pretty excited. Pay is not up to my standard. Its much more lesser then what I've at Samuel & Kevin. But at least I've try something new. Which I gonna start from tiny.

3) Ben came back for Easter Holiday. Able to enjoy SO much and I'm so glad. Though we(his family & I) just left Brisbane, a couple of days later, he came back.

4) We've visited 2 out of 3places that we wanted to. Sentosa and Zoo. We didnt cover Ubin. (Well, I guess Xindai must be happy about it) We shall cover Ubin in June.

5) Xindai's manage to have a open door for God. AND I'M REAL HAPPY! YEah!~

6) Benny Himm healing service is GREAT! And I really feel the presence of God after so long. And MIRACLES do happen! With faith, with God, all things are possible!

7) Sad to say, Ben left. But I'm glad that at least he came back for the past 1 week. And out of the 10days, I manage to spend 7days with him. *big smile* Though we didnt do much things but I'm so glad that he's here with me! And yeah, Xindai join us~!

PHOTOS~
My precious 2.


Retards.


The girl who stood with me for years.


On the way to Sentosa.

Why are we so scare?

This is how tall are we.


Smile my dear.

Siloso beach I think. (PS: Can see our clothes are wet?)


I love you more then anything.


Time flies. 10days just past like that. Ben leaving tomorrow. Sigh.

Went to Zoo yesterday with Ben and Xindai. Was a long day there. It rain. Boo-hoo. But somehow or rather, it didn't spoilt our mood. Was really enjoying ourselves there. (:

And we went to Sentosa today. Yes it rain. And it spoilt our mood cause we're really wet! Argh. Sentosa photo maybe will upload tomorrow. Cause I'm sleepy, and cam is just too far away from me.

Pictures!~

White Tigers.

Hippo.

This reminds me of Gold Coast Lone Pine Koala Santuary.

My all time favourite. Wu gui.

King Of The Jungle

Polar Bear

Its cute isn't it?



Time for bed. (:

I feel so loved!

Seriously, its a different feeling that Ben came back. I'm so glad that he came back. Though it might be only like 10days? But I'm REAL happy can?

Doing all the recallings and stuffs between us. Everything is just so REAL. Not like living in dream, whereby you can only think, but in reality, its not real. Aww.. I just feel so happy, and I feel that I'm the happiest girl in the world. =)

And yeah, the very first day when I saw him, we went to Makansutra where we first have our supper at. Then follow by yesterday, we went to Cathy to catch a movie "The Reaping" also at the place where we catch our first movie!

*HAHA* I'm just crazy girl but I'm just SO happy can!? And yeah, Ben, Xindai & myself will be going ZOO later! Haha. I'm so glad that from Xindai's day become darlings' day. *big smile*

At Expo MRT Station. With 2 of my darlings. (PS: Ben is back for REAL cause alot of people see him! I'm not living in dream!)



Its a wonderful Easter! I'm REAL happy!

Its not a good day for me, feeling REAL emo today. Cause I wish that Ben was with me. So day started pretty bored. WEnt over to The Nature Source at Suntec to get my body cream, then follow by afternoon shift.

Had lunch with Bell, and we really chatted alot. Stuffs like BFs, GFs, gossipsss and more. Wonderful friend I have. And I thank God for her! Cause somehow or rather, we can click so well!

Was like telling her about Ben not having the intension of coming back. Which I agreed too. Cause he's having his paper the week after next. So its better for him to stay at Brisbane to study. Plus, I just met up with him last few days.

Somehow or rather, hours pass pretty SLOW. And hence, I almost die on the selling floor, cause THERE ISN'T ANY CROWD! I requested to sign out, and when I reach for my HP, there's this missed call from Ben's sister. So I called her.

She actually wanted to meet me up to collect the cream at Marina Square whereby the dad will be sending her down to collect. Its late. And its really a trouble. So she said she will call me back later.

The next thing I know is that, Ben missed call me. (Whereby I heard nothing from him the entire day, maybe that's the reason why I mood-swing or maybe just sian.) I called back. We chatted awhile and its weird whereby he rush to hang up.

So I walk out of the shop, and the next thing I know is that he's standing right in front of me. I cried so badly. Cause its really a big surprise from him. He didn't tell me at all about him coming back. And either his parents did mention about him coming back for Easter Holiday.

And I'm so glad that someone able to cover my shift tomorrow! And hence, from Sunday till Wednesday I'm not working, and I able to meet up with both my precious, Ben & Xindai! (=

I'm just so HAPPY!! HAPPY EASTER DAY!

Will I always be there for you?
When you need someone, will I be that one you need?
Will I do all my best to, to protect you?
When the tears get near your eyes
Will I be the one that's by your side?
Will I be there when you call me in the middle of the night?
Will I keep the rain from falling down into your light?

Will I take tender tender care of you?
Take your darkest night and make it bright for you
Will I be there to make you strong and to lean on?
When this world has turned so cold
Will I be the one that's there to hold?
Will I be there when you call me in the middle of the night?
Will I keep the rain from falling down into your light?

And I love you more every day
And nothing will take that love away
When you need someone
I promise I'll be there for you

I can't help.. But think again.. Its Easter Holiday. Yet I'm spending it alone. Feeling so lost right now. I don't know what's that kind of feelings that lingers all around. But I know, it ain't feel so good.

And till now, I'm still looking for my Sakae kaki. Cause my kaki, is still at Brisbane..

Sakae anyone?

The first thing Xindai saw this template she must be asking "where is my photo?" Darling, its on the right. (:

Time for bed.

I need pain killers.. To kill the pain. It just hurt so badly.. More pain killer please.. Time, please pass faster.. Baby, when will I see you again? I need you to bright up my day.. Feel me with your warm..

Lord, give me strength to move on..

More photos! I'm not in the mood to blog.
Movie world.


After a tired day, yet photo taken during the journey back to apartment.

Koala Pine.

Lovely. My favourite picture.


Someone out there, please teach me how to be strong.. Stop all those "I-miss-you" feelings towards Ben. And let me live, without all those pains in my life.. For right now, stop everything. Its so painful..

Brisbane is a nice place. And of course, its COLD! Its gonna be winter so soon, the sun is so strong, yet, when the wind blow, it's so cold! Of course, where-ever I go, I'm with jacket. And people thought that I'm crazy or something? Haha. Its fun. I really enjoy myself there, of course, when I'm with Ben.

The very first picture I snap with Ben. At Queen Street.

We went to Surfer Paradise. This is how nice the beach are.

The waves.

US!


We went to Movie World in Gold Coast.




While waiting. My loveable-Ben.

We also went to Lone Pine to see KOALaaaa~~

Kangarooooo

Taking the ferry back to the apartment.





Some of the funny stuffs I've saw on streets. But its normal, cause Aussie talk like that. Haha




And lastly, the beautiful sunset from the plane.


And yeah, here's the photo from my cam. The rest are with Ben. Which I gonna upload when he sent me. Maybe like July when he comes back for holiday. If not, he still has a choice of coming back for Easter Holiday for 10days.

Anyway, its fun there. But one thing at night, the shop closes at 5pm. Which is Singapore 3pm. And there's nothing to do at night. So eventually all the nights there, we will be at the apartment, having dinner, watch TV, if not playing card games. That's how boring the life is there. But I like it so much because that's how relax their life style are. (:

And I'm awake at this hour, cause for the past 1week, I've been waking up at 6am(Singapore time) or maybe 5am? And I still can't get use to it. The moment I reach Singapore yesterday at about 9pm+++ I feel so tired. CAuse its 11pm at Aust. HAha.. Will update soon.

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