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ramblings of a young adult

ANGRY ANGRY YES I'M FREAKING ANGRY.

This time not about work or what. Its about a potato chips. Yes just a pack of patato chips! Freaking hell. Its from Ben from Aust. If I know back then I will just put at my room. Let the freaking ants eat rather then whoever that start eating my chips!

An hour ago I saw my dad eating the chips and I told him that DO NOT FINISH IT. An hour later which is now, THE WHOLE FREAKING PACK ITS GONE!? What's next? The whole roll of Meiji Chocolate from Ben too, its freaking half empty! All thanks to my sister.

Freaking hell. Am I living in a house full of worms?!


ANGRY ANGRY ANGRYYYYYYYYYY

She asked him if he would want to be with her forever?
And he said no.
She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry?
And once again he replied with a no.
She had heard enough.
As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said
"You're not pretty you're beautiful."
I dont want to be with you forever. I NEED to be with you forever.
And I wouldnt cry if you walked away... I'd die...




Will you say the same way too?



I've no doubt with you, cause I know you will say that. HAHA!

I'm like reading one of my friend's blog. Or perhaps Ben's friend blog. And he was like saying...

"Women are a really complicated species. They make u feel happy, pleased, joyous, sad, farked up, angry, frustrated, irritated...you name it..they've got it. They can joke anytime they want..but we cant. Because we're suppose to actually know wads on their mind u see, like psychics like that. Wateva it is..guys will never win..cause no matter wad..we're ALWAYS in the wrong. How often do u hear a girl say she's sorry or admit shes in the wrong FIRST? Honestly speaking?..rarely..really. Well my fellow bros..we just gota suck it in huh. "

Are we girls like that? Its something that I didn't realise that I'm doing it at times. Or perhaps most of the time. Haha. Or maybe we girls are meant to be pampered? Hmmm.. I think so.. HAHA.

Anyway, work seems good. So far so good. And yeah, of course I'm tired. In terms of physically and of course, mentally. I've no idea why mentally too tired. Maybe because so sick of doing everything the same over and over again.

Physically tired because nobody seems to be "unloading" my load. No one even bother to replenish all the stocks and no one bother to put the sizes according. And throughout these past 3days, I've been packing and packing and packing. Seriously, not much of customer serving and everything.

Really gonna break down soon. And I'm so scare.. I'm really craving for a short trip. Sigh. How I wish I'm going oversea so soon. Like what my brother and Elina are doing. Basket, they're going Genting cum KL tomorrow till sunday.. :(

And of course, I miss the sun too!


God, please give me more strength and move on.. Please help me to carry my loads, God.

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' It
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you
That's what I was trying to do

Everybody that I know seems to be going overseas. Sigh. Elina and my brother going oversea I think soon. Xindai going BKK with Chengxi in a couple of weeks time. =( I also wanna go oversea..

But to go where? Who do I travel with? Sigh. And I know I can't. Cause.. 1) no money. 2) unable to take leave. Cause I'm still uncomfirm staff. If I know back then, I will take 1 week break before starting job at Samuel & Kevin.

Sigh....


I'm so bored..... Its my off day..

This song, just makes me wanna cry. The lyrics are so nice, he sing from his bottom of his heart. So true, so much feelings. Tears somehow just stream down my cheeks..

背叛
作詞：阿丹/鄔裕康　作曲：曹格　編曲：涂惠源

雨　不停落下來　花　怎麼都不開
儘管我細心灌溉　你說不愛就不愛　我一個人　欣賞悲哀

愛　只剩下無奈　我　一直不願再去猜
鋼琴上黑鍵之間　永遠都夾著空白　缺了一塊　就不精采

緊緊相依的心如何Say goodbye　你比我清楚還要我說明白
愛太深會讓人瘋狂的勇敢　我用背叛自己　完成你的期盼

把手放開不問一句Say goodbye　當作最後一次對你的溺愛
冷冷清清淡淡今後都不管　只要你能愉快

心　有一句感慨　我　還能夠跟誰對白
在你關上門之前　替我再回頭看看　那些片段　還在不在

Finally I'm back in Baleno Kingdom. Haha. Being posted at Samuel & Kevin at Bugis. (: I'm not use to it, after being slacking around for the past 3months at The Natural Source. Blah, but I love it! ^^

I was flipping thru my photobucket album. And I saw this very very old photo of mine. HAHA. This was when I just put braces. WOW. The differences is so big. I'm laughing like nobody business right now.



I'm sorry Ong for cutting your face away. WHAHA. But this is the photo that can really see my teeth. HAHA.

I think I'm getting prettier eh? LOL

My girl. Always.


And I miss them.


When I work at Bugis Street. HAHA.


Taka Giordano.


I miss School days.




Time to prepare.
Sigh

Its my blog. Why can't I post whatever I wanna say?

Main Entry: blog
Definition: an online diary; a personal chronological log of thoughts published on a Web page; also called [Weblog], [Web log]
Example: Typically updated daily, blogs often reflect the personality of the author.
Etymology: shortened form of Weblog
Usage: blog, blogged, blogging v, blogger

Sigh whatever.

rac: Its not about changing job or not changing job. I cant still endure if I want to. Cause I've no idea why the I'm able to endure so much. The bubbly Ebel will be home soon..




Anyway, Parkway comfirm closing this coming monday. And yeah, I've no idea which outlet am I going to. Either do anyone of us in Parkway know. Meaning no one yet make a decision about going where. Oh well.. I'll be home soo soon.... I still miss Suntec so badly. :(

Thought been flying around. Though TNS give me alot of problem, I still wanna work here because 930pm close shop. HAHA. Even if wanna go clubbing, I think able to rush for free entry.

Talking about that, I'm craving for clubbing.. Its been long since I club. (though I just club last month. lalala~)

Ben will be home this coming Tuesday. Seriously, I'm not prepare. Prepare in terms of bringing him to where? And thanks to my brother for throwing away "Unique Singapore" book. Though I live in Singapore, but I really don't know where to bring him leh.

Sigh. Secondly, I don't know how to swap myself back to i'm-attach-life style. Being "single"-life style for too long. I scare I can't never accept someone being so dear to me, so closed to me. I guess I will take awhile for me to get use to it. I don't know how long do I need, either do I know what will happen.

Just that he left Singapore for some time, and I'm getting use to being alone life style. I really don't know how to get use to him around me. I'm not saying the negative things, but I just wanna try to get back to the life style that I used to have.

Sometimes when I think back, why should I deserve all these things? In terms of getting being "dump" in Singapore, and him himself, going oversea to study and everything. Why am I having negative thoughts around me? Whenever I feel so empty? Its not getting us anywhere. And I hate it.

Life is not fair.

That's what I learnt.

He invited me to Australia to live with him for a couple of months during September(Cause I think if I go over there now, I will freeze to death there.), I really keen of going there. (That couple of months = 2months.) I really want to. But where am I suppose to get money from? And to be frank, I don't have any savings? Though I've been working for the past 3years or so.

Sigh.

Life is just not fair.. Still.



Thank you my dear. For lighting up my life, and bringing me joys whenever I feel down. (:






PS : Its just a personal point of view. Like what mum said "tong ren bu tong ming" just admit it ba. Life is still beautiful afterall.. (:

If I were blue, would you be there for me,
And whisper in my ears that's ok.
Would you stand by me, let me hold you tight,
And say you love me one more time.
If I feel good, would you slow dance with me,
And touch my lips with tender loving care,
Would you die for me, would you run with me,
And never look back.
Would you be there to love, to be with me?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you'll always be the one,to take my breath away?
Would you be there to love, to be with me?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you'll always be the one,to take my breath away?
Would you be there?

I'm so tired. How I wish I can close my eyes, and go to bed now.. And for some time, never gonna wake up.. Until I feel so "full" again.. Sigh..

Sometimes I just hate my life so much. *SCREAM* can anyone hear my scream? Sigh.

Yesterday was home kinda early like 1130pm, my dad keeps talking to me. How I wish I could just shut him up. Sometimes I don't wanna come home so early is because they keep making noise. And during my off day, though I might be really tired, but I dont have the intension to go out. Even if my friens are not free, I rather go out alone then staying at home.

He kept talking to me, I keep answering in a stuck up attitude. Because I'm really very piss. Have a really bad day at work, plus, I hate people who lie, empty promises and what-so-ever. ARGH!

The next time I know, he asked me about my pay. I say its in, but incentive was delay till 1st July.
He said "HAR!? WHAT!? Pay not in yet!? Have to wait till 1st July!?"
I said, "No I mean INCENTIVE! COMMISION LAH!"
"Don't give me this type of fcuk up attitude when you're in bad mood k!?"

Seriously, I'm really piss. Mainly because since you know I'm in bad mood, why are you talking to me? ANd my body language already tell you that I'm really angry why are you still talking to me?

I wish I could move out of this house SO much! How I wish grandpa is still alive. At least I will be able to move into his house, and he will shelter me.. But I know, this will never happen again.




And for you info, I still prefer S&K. In case you're wondering TNS or S&K. Though S&K give me alot of problem and unhappiness at work, BUT I still prefer working there.

Parkway outlet be closing soon. End of the most from what I know. Mostly, there will be too much staffs for 3 outlets, and mostly, I will be out of job. *big smile* cause I don't really keen with working in this company anymore.
Lastly, incentive delay again. Until 1 July then will get. Hopefull by then will get, if not, many of us will complain..
Sigh. Tired. 2days of full shift. Shi* her. I really can't trust her anymore. First she told me that the other staff unable to turn up because she has something important to do. The next thing I know, the other staff call me and keep apologising to me telling me that, its the HER that dont want her to come work. I think mostly its sabo.. *argh* I'm really piss with herrrrrrrrrr

Service is good. Thought Spiritually I'm a year old, but to be frank, I feel that I'm not. Today service really touch my heart. Praise & Worship God is what I gonna do, what I enjoy doing. Though I've not been going to church for sometimes, but I'm so glad that I really feel the presence of God today. (:

While Praising God, tear start to come out at the side of it. I thought just tired (Due to yawning) that's why there's a tear. But when start to Worship God, I just keep crying and crying. This is the first time I really feel His presence. I never being so glad before. Cry because of joy not because of sadness.











Right now, I just wanna be left alone. Cause life sucks still after-all..

I'm irritated. Seriously irritated. With like everyone? *scream*

First was my pay. Got delay over and over again. Freaking hell I left like $9 or so in side my wallet. ARGH. In the end took money from dad. I feel so.. Argh. Its like so long since I've ask them for money.

Second, my mum. She said she wanna have dinner together. Ok fine. 9pm? What next? Dad called at 6pm asking me to go out for dinner? What the hell. So is it 6pm or 9pm? In the end, I go out for dinner with none of them.

Third, My mum called at 845pm. Screaming and yelling at me. Just because I get 2missed call from her. Seriously, I'm really irritated with it. I left my phone at my room I'm at my bro's room. Of course I can't hear it. Why must she get so irritated with it and keep yelling at me? I don't owe her anything.

I know its my fault for making empty promises. Whereby I said I will go dinner with them at 9pm. Who knows that I will be so full just now? I said I will accompany her to eat and in the end she shoo me off by saying "Friends ask you to it, you ok. Your mum ask you to eat, you will never appear."

What the hell is wrong with people out there?

Forth, I'm irritated with my dad. Keep going in my room and touch my freaking stuffs. I know my room is hell messy, but why you wanna touch my stuffs and start throwing papers away? It might be trash to you, but it might be something important to me. What the hell? The next thing I know he's standing beside me looking at what me & Ben talking! SERIOUSLY, WHERE IS MY PRIVACY!?

And next, he said, "Eh, go Singtel to check the phone how much leh. I want buy new phone." Why cant he just leave me alone? After searching for a long time at Singtel site, he said "Eh, forget to tell you, you've to go this site then must login and stuffs." Wah kao. IRRITATED!

Check for him and everything, and I tell him that I'm talking to Ben, he said "5mins will die is it? The fact is that Ben tomorrow has a paper. He gonna rest early, and its been a long time since I've chat with Ben. Why he can't freaking understand? And When I stroll to fast, he slap my leg. ARGH! That's my problem. Why must he care?

Lastly, sorry to say that, I got irritated by Ben(This is not the first time). I'm like telling him how irritated I am by my dad. In the end he keep telling me what he bought today. Those junk food and stuffs. How he's room stinks and stuffs. Seriously, IT DOESN'T HELP!

I hate it so much when I'm irritated and angry, he can't seems to be the one calming me out and chilling me out. Argh! Which I really HATE it!



BAD DAY BAD DAY!

True- Ryan Cabrera


I wont talk
I wont breathe
I wont move till you finally see
That you belong with me

You might think I dont look
But deep inside
In the corner of my mind
Im attached to you
Im weak
Its true
Cuz im afraid to know the answer
Do you want me too?
Cuz my heart keeps falling faster

I've waited all my life
To cross this line
To the only thing thats true
So I will not hide
Its time to try
Anything to be with you
All my life I've waited
This is true

You dont know what you do
Everytime you walk into the room
Im afraid to move
Im weak
Its true
Im just scared to know the ending
Do you see me too?
Do you even know u met me?

I've waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing thats true
So I will not hide
Its time to try anything to be with you
All my life I've waited

This is true

I know when I go ill be on my way to you
The way thats true

I've waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing thats true
So I will not hide
Its time to try anything to be with you
All my life I've waited

This is true

Yesterday was rather boring. Cause its my off day. Suppose to meet someone for tanning, but I assume she's ultra tired that's why she didn't turn up. Aww. The sun was great yesterday! *big smile*

Me: "Eh, still sleeping ah?"
Her: "Uh.. Why?"
Me: "I thought you wanna go tanning? But it looks like gonna rain leh, I go check the weather forcast out first then I SMS you ok?"
Her: "Uh.. Okie.." ZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz
SMS her: "Showers in the late afternoon over at Northern, Eastern and Western."
She reply: "Good night then."

*Shag. Her sleepy monster must be attacking real hard. So I went online and stuffs, the sun was really great, I shower and I head down to Downtown East for tanning. By the time I reach there, the sky was close to black. But I insist of staying.

The dark clouds clear in like 15mins to 1/2hour or so, and the SUN WAS REALLY GREAT! *neh neh ni po po* Xindai are you gonna smack me? LOL.

Anyway, head home after tanning and then I realise that weather forcast can never trust. lol. Slack at home until Augustine called me out for movie. AWw. Blades Of Glory. Its the 2nd time in a row that we said we wanna catch it. Head down to Cine, but eventually its fullhouse. *make noise*

Then we head down to Taka for a little of window shopping + food. And yeah, I rush back to Pasir Ris to meet Ong & Kaisheng. Blah. Photos show everything. *big smile*

Hmmm. What's Ong so into?


Ta da~

Thanks for always being here for me!


Ong & Yong. Mr & Mrs BRaces. LOL.

And I wanna be your Best-Girl-Friend. Aww.. haha.


Time for work. Sigh. Talking about work, hmmm. I realise I've been really humble and that's what alot of people tell me. She's like stepping on my tail alot of times, climbing up onto my head & start messing up with my hair. Yet I didnt say any single thing.

The shifts sucks, she gave me alot of work load, she keeps bullying me. Yet I just keep quiet. What happen Ebel? Where's the Ebel that always show her attitude towards others? I guess she's dead. *big smile*

I wanna go back Suntec so badly =(

20days till you're back!

SICK SICK SICK!

Seriously, this really sucks. Woke up in the morning with block nose, then eventually it turn to flu. Oh well. Been sneezing the whole freaking day. Getting sick of it. *argh*
Xindai also down with flu, so does Cheng Xi & Ben. LOL. This is funny. Everyone is getting flu.
23more days!! He'll be home.. *big smile*

Finally there's things to blog about. Seriously, I've no idea what to blog about for the past few days. Sigh. PARKWAY IS SO BORED! Oh whatever.

Went to Momo yesterday. Yes its public holiday. Finally see Momo has queue! HAHA. I'm not trying to be mean, I'm just stating the truth that finally Momo is alive again! Yeah, this time round, its call Velvet Dragon.

After it renovated, its nice lah, but a little too small for the dance floor, the sofa become bigger and bigger till there isn't much space to walk around. Its cool for chilling but not for clubbing!

Those cute guys photo at toilet change! being tear down till now its like a dragon or something? Seriously, its ugly! Its still fun as before, but somehow there's spinning like Retro, trance or whatever? The R&B and Reggae starting to turn a little lesser then before! Well, its good for Elina! Cause she loves retro. Not for me!

Leave Momo at 3am, head out for supper. And we're like so bored till we ended up sitting there and chat till like close to 4am. And we started to snap photos and stuffs. When we're about to take cab, the crowd start to come out. THERE ISN'T ANY CAB AROUND! Seriously, its been ages since I didn't see any cabs around outside Momo. Haha. This is so cool! Momo is back to live! OOps I mean Velvet dragon.

Photos~ Argh. Damn, the pay not in yet! *make noise*




Before I leave home. Pretty Ebel. =P


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