{/profile --

ramblings of a young adult

The lyrics that's playing on my blog song's right now.

电话还在响 我有些心慌
熟悉的号码 在挣扎
故作的坚强 虚伪的力量
撑过这一刻 更悲伤
没接的电话 是一种惩罚
不该想 却割舍不下
如果再见我 你能说什么
说爱我 或只是寂寞
原谅我冷漠 选择不联络
因为我 担心你会听见我 还那么难过

短讯声在响 凌晨两点半
惊醒的房里 更孤单
一句睡了吗 像你的习惯
这夜晚 为你而混乱

如果再见我 你能说什么
说爱我 或只是寂寞
原谅我冷漠 选择不联络
因为我 担心你会听见我 还那么难过

因为对你我连再见都 说不出口
我想你能懂 爱还在心中

I never felt nothing in the world like this before
Now I'm missing you
And I'm wishing that you would come back through my door
Why did you have to go?
You could have let me know
So now I'm all alone,
Girl you could have stayed
but you wouldnt give me a chance
With you not around it's a little bit more then I can stand
And all my tears they keep running down my face
Why did you turn away?

So why does your pride make you run and hide?
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it's a lie what you keep inside
This is not how you wanted to be

So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don't know what else I can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life

Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just ain't true
I really need you in my life
No matter what I have to do I'll wait for you

It's been a long time since you called me
How could you forget about me
You got me feeling crazy
How can you walk away,
Everything stays the same
I just can't do it baby
What will it take to make you come back
I told you what it is and it just ain't like that
Why can't you look at me, your still in love with me
Don't leave me crying.

I'll Be Waiting.

I have enough. Really.

Today is like a ultra bad day. Sigh. People keep calling shop and start asking "Hey Ebel, heard that you gonna resign.. Again?"

To be frank this thought being flash by over and over. Times after times. I get sick of this job so fast, maybe because so many times of countless disappointment, and everything. Plus, what's worst is that my health cannot take it.

Yes, meaning, I fall sick again. Most likely is because lack of sleep. In other words, over work myself. At Bugis I've start falling sick for like countless times, but only at Parkway whereby it get worst. Fever on and off, on and off. Right now I'm down with flu, block nose and cough.

Not much of big deal, cause everyone at Parkway get so ill. Everyone is like getting the same illness. Sigh.

Another reason is because I wanna spend like 2weeks over at Brisbane to accompany Ben, then we will fly back Singapore for good. Seriously, though we seldom talk, I super ultra miss him. =( He's like so busy with his assignment, projects and whatever. A few simple SMSes change the day. Phone call is only like once a week or so? Internest web-camming? Even worst. AFter he came back to Singapore, we didn't even web cam at all. Its like.. Hmmm.. I don't know how long. But its long.

After talking to Ralph(District Manager) today, somehow I start to think through the question again.

Should I resign?



I don't know still.. I guess I should just go to bed now, full shift tomorrow.

Seriously, I don't know what to update about. I'm just getting more and more tired everyday, don't have the mood to go to work. Just like dragging myself to work everyday. Sigh.

Life moves on.

I don't know what to blog. And right now, waiting for 28th August. PAY DAY! Plus, I'm craving for a long clubbing session. Anyone keen?

And I know, she stands with me even the world fall.


Ebel & Rosabel.



Will blog again, when I know what to blog about.

I'm so tired. So wear out. I need more time to rest.. Oh man. Just attended 2chalets at one shot. In 2different days of course. Plus, full shifts, and conversation. Seriously, arghhhh.....

I really don't understand what they want. I think I have enough. Last week, Parkway having atrium sales. So we set up atrium on Tuesday night all the way till almost 3am when I reach home. The next day, I'm on full shift. Plus, gonna sign in at 9am. Its alright.

What's next? Closing of atrium on Sunday night. Knock off at 1130pm, went to eat with the staffs all the way till like 2am then got home. The next day, afternoon shift again. Oh well, manage to rest a little but not alot.

Tuesday night, stay up all the the way till like 1am. Yes, doing conversation again. I find it real dumb whereby those atrium stocks are putting at shop to sell. Well, I kept all the excess stocks at store and everything. When we start clearing those on shelving and table, the DM said "Don't keep long pants, print tees and jeans. They will help to push up GPs."

Yesterday stock running low for pants. Cause excess stocks already sent back warehouse. And today, I woke up at 7am, just to reach warehouse at 9am asking them to send back the stocks that we urgently need. So I look for Buyer and request for that. The night before, I called, but no one pick up.

The next thing I know, she said "No need to take those stocks back to shop, you'll convert all to clearance items because there are so many stocks to clear." I'm like what the hell..

Today suppose to be 1/2morning but stay till all the way till 7pm. Only take 1/2hour break and rush to sign in and finish. But in the end I finish at like 7pm. I'm really wear out, and really, I've no idea what's on their mind.

Seriously, I'm getting sick of the job, and I want to quit. Oh well.

How does it feel whenever you did your best, but ended up getting scolding? Everyday?

I really don't understand what she/he want. I'm getting sick of it.. Really. Broke down almost every night and hoping that my friend in Singapore will be there for me. I look for you, ended up you lie to me.

How does it feel when someone so close to you lie? Shit.

You told me you're overseas, and as a friend, I get worried. Ended up you're enjoying yourself at Singapore, and even open a chalet, enjoying the sun and everything. ARgh.

Life is just so sucks. Oh well..... Or perhaps, I'm just suay! The downs of my life. It just so sucks.....


我讨厌阴天的风
冷得那么刺痛
只有你能够抚平所有的寂寞
昨天的风筝在角落
被谁丢到了路口
我很不想让你找到离开的理由
每一夜闭上眼睛
我看到了恶梦
你微笑但是旁边的人不是我
天空切开一道裂缝
直接割到我心中
不想装作脆弱
也不想爱得懦弱
其实我非常爱你不想失去你
难道我没有权利说我不愿意
你给了他的吻
虽然只有余温
可知道我多渴望抓住你的心
我知道他很爱你你怕他伤心
我每天假装开心害怕你离去
可不可以任性
求求你不要去
藏在我心里最后一句
其实还爱你
可不可以任性
求求你不要去
藏在我心里最后一句
其实还爱你

Happy anniversary baby.

9months just pass like that. I stil can't picture out myself together with Ben been together for 9months. Its like not easy, or perhaps I will say, its never easy. These past few months, we only celebrated like 4 times anniversaries together, the rest, he's away. But I never felt so down or diappointed with him before.

On 14th of every month, he will never fail to send me a letter or card from Brisbane, and he never fail to wish me "Happy anniversary". He never failed to surprise me. 3months ago, he sent me glass roses, 2months ago, he sent me real roses. Last month, we spend our anniversary at Bangkok. And he even bought me a cake!

For everything, be it good or bad, thick or thin, I really thank him for everything. Though most of the time, he's the one giving in, and I'm the one over taking him, get on top of him, and "eat" him, he never fail to be patience with me. I'm so glad that I found someone being so dear and so nice to me. *Hee

Though we broke up once before, its like a nightmare to him, and a sense of lost in direction for once. But things get back to the way it is before. Though there's scar, but its never deep.

Ben being away for like 4months or more.(Minus away time I spend in Brisbane, time he came back for Easter holiday, and term end) But this relationship never get distance. We never fail to call each other up. At least once in 2days. Bills are pilling up due to SMSes and calls, but I never blame him for that.(Shit, I realise I still owe M1 $200)

I love him. And I know he loves me too. He will be back soon. But I don't know how long will it be, I don't wanna count, cause it seems so long, but I know, he will be back for good. And I know, he will never leave me again.


It's always been a mystery to me
How two hearts can come together
And love can last forever
But now that I have found you, I believe
That a miracle has come
When God sends the perfect one
Now gone are all my questions about why
And I've never been so sure of anything in my life

I wonder what God was thinking
When He created you
I wonder if He knew everything I would need
Because He made all my dreams come true
When God made you
He must have been thinking about me

I promise that wherever you may go
Wherever life may lead you
With all my heart I'll be there too
From this moment on I want you to know
I'll let nothing come between us
And I will love the ones you love
Now gone are all my questions about why
And I have never been so sure of anything in my life

He made the sun
He made the moon
To harmonize in perfect tune
One can't move without the other
They just have to be together
And that is why I know it's true
You're for me and I'm for you
Cause my world just can't be right
Without you in my life

He must have heard every prayer I've been praying
Yes He knew everything I would need
When God made you
When dreams come true
When God made you He must have been thinking about me

This gonna be a long post I think. Sigh. Was really sick for the past few days.

Monday.

Set up atrium. Suppose to go down Suntec to collect my stuffs from The Natural Source, but turn out, called up for work at 3pm. Whereby I just get home from a little tanning. Didn't manage to get much tanned, but at least, a little. Just a little. Stay up till like 1am+ then manage to finish, and by the time we ate and stuffs, reach home like 3+. Shower and sleep.

Tuesday

Reach shop at 930am. That's early I know. Gonna wake up at like 730am. Thankful baby give me a call to wake up. If not, I don't wanna wake up. Pretty stone, and start off a very shag day. Run up and down to look at shop and atrium at the same time. During break time, all of us struggle with a little nap, hoping to catch a little nap when possible. Another shag full shift just pass.

Wednesday

Suppose to meet up with Xindai, but when I woke up at 10am, my head was pretty heavy. Sun is so healthy, and I love it. But headache over take everything, and I went back to sleep. Its pretty sad whereby off day, can catch up with GF, but ended up sleeping at home the whole day. Maybe because pretty wear out and lack off sleep. Was on high fever that very night.

Thursday

Was on afternoon shift, but fever didn't get any better. Dad force me not to go work, and I stay at home. Went down to see doctor. Tears keep flowing down my cheeks, whereby I recalled the last time I was sick, Ben was with me at the clinic. Forcing me to eat the medicine, and putting me to bed, but right now, I'm facing it all alone. I don't like it. =(

Pretty sad huh? National day, cum Public holiday, at home resting the whole day, nothing much, other then sleep, sleep, and sleep. Ha. But lucky Ben call to "an wei" me a little. I was watching firework over the TV, and he's on the internet telling me the firework is very nice. At least, I feel so much better. Thanks to technology. Ha.

Friday

On MC again. Fever didn't manage to get down. Went for blood test. Cause my case pretty close to dengue. Plus my fever on and off all the time. Bodyahces and everything. Chloe asked me to go for blood test. KS accompany me to the doctor, thanks dude. Waited for like an hour or so at polyclinic together with blood test and everything. Seriously, I appreciate!

Report out, nothing wrong. NOT DENGUE! Praise the Lord! If not I guess I be weeping right now. Ha.

Saturday

Fever still around. On and off again. But at least not worried about it anymore. And I'm so thankful that Auntie(Ben's mum) made ginseng tea for me. And bring it down to Parkway for me. I FEEL SO LOVED CAN!? .


I just wanna say whatever I have said. lol. I'm happy lah' At least Ben not around, he's loves still around. LOL!

I'm really wear out.

Finally waited for today. 1/2 morning. Plus, meeting Nigel & Christine to go FOP together to see Delirious? Happy go to work. Big smile on my face and everything.

11+am there's a call from my 1st. She said she's on MC. I got really freak out. And I'm very pissed. I've already told her that I've something on today that's why I requested 1/2M today. But turn out she's on MC.

What worst is that, yesterday she 1/2M, today MC, tomorrow off, sunday afternoon. Which means, I'm afternoon yesterday, full today and tomorrow, follow by morning.

I don't know why when I hang up the phone with her, tears start to stream down my face. Seriously, I'm really very depress about it. Not because of those shifts, but depress over Delirious? unable to go and watch..

FOP only happen once a year. Though they have service on weekends, but sat i'm on full shift, sunday I'm on morning shift. I've no idea if I'm able to make it for service. What worst is that being turn away due to full house over at indoor.

I'm depress. Really depress. I've no idea how many times I've weep. But I know, I'm really heartache. Someone being so closed to me, doing such things to me.. Sigh.

I don't understand what the hack do they want. Seriously, I'm very pissed. With the management.

On monday, when the new PWP crews arrived at shop, they did change some of the layout. Because of some reason. And for our own reason, we shift away some of the stuffs. That we think we can't sell. (I was off on monday)

And then, on tuesday, our big boss came down, and hence he requested us to change again. Before that, I did some minor changes on the wall because email was sent out that all of us gonna add a little few more styles.

So we change again. And again.

Today, my DM aka area manager called and ask me to change and edit a little on the same panals again. He sent me a MMS on it. Ok I change again, and of course I edited to damn girl. Everything is just pink and white. Seriously, I have enough of changing.

And at 8+pm, basket ball, he came down to shop and ask me what am I doing? Why didn't I follow the MMS?

Seriously, I'm damn pissed. I did MMS him the photo of the panal after I've change. I even called him 5mins later. But freaking hell, he didnt pick up either did he call back. Is it my fault? *argh*

Anyway, he came down and he change again. I'm really pissed. If he talk to me in a nicer tone, seriously, I will take it. But the fact is that he didn't. He comment on this and that. This and that. Argh!

What's worst is that he when he come in my shop, all the way till closing, not even a single customer buy. Oh well, or perhaps no one even bother to try. Or perhaps, we didnt even bother to serve. Seriously, 1 freaking panal, as long as people got buy, people got see, as long as got people touch, its good enough.

What the heck is he thinking man? Argh.

Life is all about making choices yeah.

Just like today was on the way home, and been craving for potato chips. So I went to 7-eleven. Between Lays Classic and Sour & Cream, which one will I take? I've been sticking on with Classic since the first time I eat Lays. As for Sour & Cream, its one of my gf favourite. (Yah lah, its you Miss Chan.)

I've been thinking alot. (Yes over potato chips) Which one should I take? Lays price went up to $4.30 and its hell expensive for a chips. And I was there, looking at the price, in the end its on promotion $3.50 in the end.. I took both.

Afterall, life is still full with choices. Which one will you take? And will you regret picking that one?

I reach home, I open up Sour & Cream. I eat and eat. Almost half the pack, and I get sick of it. And I regret buying Sour & Cream. That's when I realise I've made the wrong choice.

If I know things will turn out this way, I will choose not to touch it right from the start. But, it turn out everything just go down the drain whereby I dislike it so much.

Sigh.

Its just about potato chips and I'm making such a long post. Perhaps I should just switch off the light and go to bed...

God broke the mold,
When he made this one I know
She's breathtaking but so much more
She walks in the room, your loves closed
Making you never want to breathe again
Her boyfriend has got so much dough
So much ice his neck and wrist froze
Is he faithful to her? Hell no
But she chose to be with him, shorty

She's so confused
She knows she deserves more
Someone who will love and adore
But his money's hard to ignore
She really doesn't know what to do
Girl it's just a matter of time
Before he finds another more fine
After he's done dulling your shine
You're out the door and he's through with you

You're a masterpiece
I know that he
Can't appreciate your beauty
Don't let him cheapen you
He don't see you like i do
Beautiful not just for show
Time that someone let you know

I can't take
Seeing you with him
'Cuz I know exactly what you'll be
In his gallery
It's just not fair
And it's tearing me apart
You're just another priceless work of art

Tell me is the money worth your soul
Tell me what's the reason that you hold on
When you know that dude has a whole wall of 'em just like you
And girl you're just way too fine
Gotta be treated as one of a kind
Girl use your mind
Don't be just another dime

Because

I can't take
Seeing you with him
'Cuz I know exactly what you'll be,
In his gallery
It's just not fair
And it's tearing me apart
You're just another priceless work of art
In his gallery

Someone once shared all these with me.. AMEN! AMEN!



The eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.
2 Chronicles 16: 9


Once you have decided to be a true disciple of Christ and to commit to lifelong, obedient relationship with Him, you will obey and do whatever God tells you to do and you will depend on Him to accomplish whatever He wants to accomplish through your life.

You may believe that you are unusual if you struggle with the issue of priorities. Your family, your job, and other responsibilities demand a great deal of your time. Maybe you think that because previous generations had simplier lives, it was easier for them to focus on Christ and to meet the requirements for discipleship.

If that was true, why did Jesus have to remind His disciples, who lived two thousand years ago, that they must give Him supreme loyality?


If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters - yes, even his own life-he cannot be my disciple. And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple. ...In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple.
Luke 4: 26-33

Christ disciples had to learn gradually, just as we do. His followers sometimes put their own selfish needs and concerns above Him. Two of them chose sleepover honoring His request to stay awake and pray with Him in the garden of Gethsemane. They argued about who would be chief in His kingdom. When Jesus was arrested, His followers fled, and one of the closest to Him denied Him. Who was the disciles' first priority on such occasions?

But Jesus never gave up on the disciples, and after His death and ressurrection their lives changed dramatically. Acts 4: 18-37 hhows that His disciples loved Him more than any other person, possession, or purpose in their lives. Jesus never stopped working with them to transform them into His own character. Like them, you can begin to grow now.

Stop and pray, asking God to show you ways other persons, possessons, or purpose motiate you instead of your love for Him.

If you have listed anything or anyone besides your love for Jesus Christ, confess in prayer that your life is controlled by impure desires. Then list the steps you will take to give Christ control of your life.



---------------------------------------------

I'm really tired. Parkway is really boring. Oh well.. At least its better then Bugis. Theres alot of food, cheap some more. I guess this time round, able to save hell lot of money.. HAHA!

I really craving for a trip now. But not to shop, but to chill! Maybe places like.. Beach? Haha.. Wait still.. Holiday.. When are you coming?


Aww...

{/links --

ctrl + left click

{/online shopping --

{/archives --

watch me waste my life away

{/miscellaneous --

my virtual barang