{/profile --

ramblings of a young adult

爱一人
如果你不爱一个人,请放手.
好让别人有机会爱她.
如果你爱的人放弃了你,请放开自己,
好让自己有机会爱别人.
有的东西你再 喜欢也不会属于你的,
有的东西你再 留恋也注定要放弃的.
人生中有许多种.但别让自己让成为一种伤害.
有些缘分是注定要失去的,
有些缘分是永远都不会有好结果的,
爱一个人 不一定要拥有,
但拥有一个人 就一定要好好的去爱她.
男人哭了 是因为他真的爱了.
女人哭了 是因为她真的放弃了.

如果真诚 是一种伤害,选择谎言;
如果谎言 是一种伤害,选择沉默;
如果沉默 是一种伤害,选择离开.

如果失去是苦 你怕不怕付出,
如果迷乱是苦 你会不会选择结束,
如果追求是苦 你会不会选择执迷不悟 ,
如果分离是苦 你要向谁倾诉,

好多事情都是后来才看清楚,
好多事情当时一点也不觉得苦!!!!

MISS CHAN XIN DAI


I NEED YOU RIGHT NOW



I know she wont be able to see this message until tomorrow. She's over at JB for her friend's wedding dinner. If I break the news earlier to her, perhaps, she won't be able to go there.

Xindai, so sorry for calling you so early in morning. With me mumbling over the line, I bet you don't catch anything from me, but I'm so glad that you never hang up the phone even though you're busy. Thank you.

Shuan, though you might not understand any single shit I said last night, but I really appeciate you holding onto the phone, letting me complain whatever I want to. Able to stand with me though you've your own things to do.

Terence, thank you for able to spend so much time with me, trying your best to make me smile. Able to have supper with me though you're dead tired.




And lastly, Ben, thank you for everything..

So much things to blog about, have no idea where to start.

Wednesday meet up with Bubu and Nigel at starbucks. Sorry guys for pulling one long face. You guys never fail to cheer me up no matter what happen. :))

Pick Ben up at the airport after meeting Bubu & Nigel. Before that had dinner with his parents before his plane touch down to Singapore.

Thursday met up with Ben and Xindai to City. Walk around targetless as usual. Nothing much happening there. Afterall, Singapore is still boring. Broke what to do? HAHA. Went Breako to chill and drink.

Both of us pretty high that night. Just keep talking shit. With her around, I believe, even the whole sky fall, or the world gonna end, she will always be with me. I'm so glad to have someone so dear-ing to me. (PS : We're not lesbians.)

Work on friday after having like 3off days + 1 mc. Sian as usual. Shag as normal. So muck things to clear. Morning comes like 18cartons of stocks, manage to clear those stuffs after like 5pm, stocks come in again. 25cartons this time round. The whole shop are over-flowing with cartons. *argh

Only manage to clear so much today. But still left a little. NO SPACE TO PUT. I wonder what's wrong with the management, keep having so much things. I believe Xmas coming, there's why over launching of stocks, plus, too much stocks. Oh well.. But its end of the month, I believe evevyone just like me. BROKE.

Anyway, Xindai pick me up last night. We were having a hard time to think where to eat or chill. In the end, she came over my place. Drink again. Shop for chips, whatever, and head to my place. Wanted to open my vodka(though I said I save it for my birthday), but in the end, we bought Long Island Tea at 7-eleven. By the time we finish that, we're dead. LOL. Dead tired.

Went to work this morning with her accomany me 1/2way. And she came down again just now. Went to Bedok 85 to eat.

I'm pretty lazy to update.. Pictures say everything.

The dress that I saw at Topshop. Feel like buying it...


Long Island Tea. Its nice can.


Kin. My 2IC. Ignore my ugly leg. ITS TIRING!!!


The reason why she accept me as a good friend. Cause she love the ugly side of me. HAHA


K lah, nice nice.



Whose baby? LOL. XINDAI ONE! After having so much food.


When you have to look away
When you don't have much to say
That's when I love you
I love you just that way
To here you stumble when you speak
Or see you walk with two left feet
That's when I love you
I love you endlessly
And when your mad cause you lost the game
Forget I'm waiting in the rain
Baby I love you
I love you anyway

Cause here's my promise made tonight
You can count on me for life
Cause that's when I love you
When nothing you do can change my mind
The more I learn the more I love
The more my heart can't get enough
That's when I love you
When I love you
No matter what

So when you turn to hide your eyes
Cause the movie it made you cry
That's when I love uyo
I love you
A little more each time
And when you can't quite match you clothes
Or when you laugh at your own jokes
that's when I love you I love you
More then you know
And when you forgot that we had a date
Or that look that u give when u show up late
Baby I love you ,I love you anyway


Ohh that's when I love you when nothing baby,
nothing u do could change my mind
The more I learn, the more I love,
the more my heart can't get enough
That's when I love you,
when I love you no matter what

Met up with my one of my good friend last night. He was telling me that he got himself into some big shit, and today is he's judgement day. Seriously, I get real worried. Cause he's telling me that the min sentence is 3months, max is 6years.

Spent like an hour or so, at my void deck, talk and just talk. And yes I did enjoy the bike tour around my house car park. He's being playing MIA with the whole group of us. Just don't want to get involved with more things. I'm wondering when will he really grow up? He's a mature guy, just that at times, he play around. Too much.

Its so sad to hear all these type of things happen to my surrounding good friends. One left. Whose next? Another friend too. That one I dont wish to talk more about it. Its so heartaching to hear all these things happen to me. I guess, I don't know.

Ben will be in Singapore in like 8hours or so. Seriously, I'm getting worried. Its like so damn long since I last saw him. I'm worried cause the HE that I gonna see now, is it the HE that I met 1year ago?

I never change. I'm still as lazy as before. I still go out with all my friends, guyfriends or even girlfriends. I'm still the same. I still smoke, just that it get heavier. I promise him to cut down, but I didn't. I guess I still disappoint him some-how.

Its been long since I last club. I wish to club. I want to club so badly. I want to drink. I want to drink till I get wasted. For that time, I just wanna enjoy myself so badly. Too much things happen right now. Till I know one more thing happen, I will fall. I really gonna fall.

One year just pass like that. Ben is back for good. I don't know what will happen to us, but I know that, he's someone who loves me no matter what. But how about me? Its for you guys to guess. I don't know lah..

Mum asked me if I feel excited about him coming home. I answer "No." She asked why. I told her is because too long never see each other. What gonna happen when he come back? What happen if he's no longer the Benjamin that I know a year ago? What happen when he come back and realise that I'm not the Ebel that he know a year ago? I don't know lah..

I'm pretty vexed right now. Really vexed. Tired. Maybe like that Zhen Ying said was right.. Sigh. Whatever..

One of my girlfriend came telling me that she's been real down. I feel so heartache for her when I heard about it. Seriously, if I were her, I also don't know what to do..

Abour 2years ago, they met each other at work. They're just normal friends. Hi-bye friends in other words.

About 6months ago, their relationship get closer. And as a group, they go out together with other team-mates. To supper, drink and even KTV. He came around, chemistry are around. Yet none of them are doing anything about it. She found it there isn't a need, because he's attached.

Life still move on for them. Someday later, she got transfer out of the team, and move on. About 4days of not seeing each other, he called her. Telling her that he want back the CD that he pass to her. So, they met up.

Went over to somewhere for late supper, and soon, she realise that he's gonna be someone so special. That's when, heartaches start.

They met up with each other almost everyday, or the least, 3times in a week. Yet, nothing much happen. No one taking any move. He told her that he like her, of course she's like floating in the sky and yes, she's happy. On the other hand, he's telling her that she can't give her anything because he don't want to let go of his girlfriend.

Silly her, still hold onto something that she know that it doesn't belong to her. Well, she called me last night, sobbing over the phone, telling me that he want her to make a choice to choose to let go, or not to. Because he can't give her anything. (Yes same reason again, his girlfriend.)

Time commitment for his side is high. Under attachment, girlfriend, plus job. And now, my girlfriend. He totally has no time for her, other then after 11pm at night. Silly her, even if she's in the morning shift, she will wait for him to meet up with her. Yet over and over again, disappointment. And disappointment.

What happen was, last night, he send her home after work. And he hug her so tightly. No words came out from him, as well as her. She doesn't want to go home, she wanna clear all the doubts from him.

The night before, she weep very badly because he suppose to meet up with her at like 6pm, but due to his girlfriend, she waited for 4hours outside. When he called her, her heart is like so aching, and he asked her where is she?

She said : "I'm at my house void deck. Why?"
He said : "Huh? So fast?"
Tears stroll down her cheeks.
"I've been waiting for you like 4hours. And you're telling me that I'm so fast? Dude, 4hours. No call no nothing. That's all you gonna say? I really have enough."
"I'm sorry babe. Stay where you are, and I will get to your house asap."

Well, my girlfriend waited another hour, and he didn't turn up. She head home, shower and everything, and he called. Telling her that he's at his void deck. Well, she went down again, to see what's the things that he gonna tell her. But..

Her : "Yah, I'm here. What is it that you wanna tell me?"
Him : "Err.. Nothing. Is there anything you wanna tell me?"
Her : *Holding back her tears* "No..."
Him : "Alright then, go home and rest early.. Since you're working early tomorrow."

She stand up and walk off. He didn't even stop her, hug her or anything. And he drive off his car. That's it.

She ask him last night, why did he come down to meet her. To her surprise and more then any aches, he said "So that I won't disappoint you again."

Oh well, I guess my girlfriend been thru alot. But that's not it. My girlfriend staying at 10th floor. They took lift to 11th floor, hug her and he left. She walk towards her unit, but she u-turn back. She rush down by stairs, when she's half way there, he already reach her void deck. She rush again, by then, he already drove away..

Right now the thing is that, I don't know what I will do if I am her. Let go? She will suffer. Not to let go? She also will suffer. Because of the time that he can't spend time with her. Oh well.. I don't know.

Another heartache thing that happen to another girlfriend, also about the same. He makes her fall in love with him, yet in the end back out. By saying that he wanted to stable his career life before having a girlfriend.

Of course my girlfriend get so pissed, he want her to let go, yet she doesn't want to. Because she knows that, his ex-girlfriend is back.

Sigh. Why are there so many things happen around my friends? People come, and people go. The one and the only one will be staying some where in your heart. Not for a short while, but forever..

Didn't really manage to dig out time to blog. Example yesterday. Was off. Suppose to be going dental, and head home to rest. But, met up with KS and Ong for lunch. Ended up spending hours at TM, follow by meeting Terence to go to Mustafa.

Really sucks over there. The crowd especially. Not much places to go, so ended up going to Mustafa. Hmmm.. Stay there like 2hours the most, and head to Bugis. Wanted to catch a movie, but only have 1 show.

So in the end, head to Bedok, Princess, to watch The Game Plan. Nice show. *thumbs up* That's my first time watching at Princess with my friends. I watch movies there when I was still young, hmmm.. when my grandpa still around.

Anyway, I know that will be my last time there.

Head to East Coast Park to eat, and follow by "touring" at East Coast Park. Both of us are like bored to death, ended up watching planes flying around. Guessing which country was it from. Bored. I know.

He's just out there trying to cheer me up. And thanks dudes(KS and Ong) for being with me, even though I never say any single thing. Well, I've been down recently. Mood especially. Mood-swing in other words. Right now, I'm still feeling down.

I really hate myself so much today. Let emotionals over-take me. Ended up I'm feeling really sick, and head home to rest. Off tomorrow and Thursday, I hope, I will be better by then.

Benjamin coming back home tomorrow. Gonna meet up with his parents at airport at 745pm for dinner first, before Ben reach Singapore. Its like so long since I've last saw them, pretty scare or perhaps stress.

Not last and not least, thanks Queenie. For being here listening to all my craps that I've been complaining to you. Love you babe. :)

And right now, I gonna take my medicine, and take a good rest...









PS: I want that smile back.
其实我非常爱你不想失去你
难道我没有权利说我不愿意
你给了他的吻
虽然只有余温
可知道我多渴望抓住你的心
我知道他很爱你你怕他伤心
我每天假装开心害怕你离去
可不可以任性
求求你不要去
藏在我心里　最后一句
其实还爱你
可不可以任性
求求你不要去
藏在我心里　最后一句
其实还爱你

[Sean Kingston]
Ring ring
Who's calling?
That's my baby girl on the phone (girl on the phone)
She says she needs some space and she wanna leave me alone
But I'm not tripping cos she say that ain't in the
That's just the way life goes
Let me know big girls don't cry
But please let me explain
Let's sit down work things out
Before you go on your way
See I got a lot of things on my mind
And I know you're feeling the same
Cos the situation's out of control

{CHORUS}
[Fergie]
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you

[Sean Kingston]
I'm feeling blue, let's work things out
Cos I don't know what to do

[Fergie]
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life

[Sean Kingston]
That's just the way it has to go

[Fergie]
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry

1-2-3-4

[Fergie]
The smell of your skin lingers (lingers) on me now
You're probably on your flight back to your home town (home town)
I need some shelter of my own protection baby (baby)
To be with myself instead of clarity
Peace, Serenity

{CHORUS}
[Fergie]
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
[Sean Kingston]
I'm feeling blue, let's work things out
Cos I don't know what to do
[Fergie]
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
[Sean Kingston]
That's just the way it has to go
[Fergie]
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry

[Sean Kingston]
What should I do? I'm missing you and I feel so down
Now that you're gone I can't go on this must be the end

{CHORUS}
[Fergie]
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
[Sean Kingston]
I'm feeling blue, let's work things out
Cos I don't know what to do

[Fergie]
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life

[Sean Kingston]
That's just the way it has to go

[Fergie]
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry

JR. Remix
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry




Another off day. Well another stay home day. Did nothing at all other then slack and watch Heroes and Prison Break. Sigh. I'm just tired.



曹格 - 世界唯一的妳

是你
第一眼我就认出来
这是命运最美的安排
是我
让你过长的等待
我们只要现在深爱
幸福就来
恨我来不及参于你的过去
抱歉让你等待
我愿意付出一切交换
我灵魂的另一半
这个世界唯一的你
是我拥有的奇迹
对我说的一字一句
都是我们的秘密
紧紧拥抱唯一的你
无可救药的坚定
就是世界与我为敌
我也愿意
我什么都愿意
过去所有的悲哀
都只是寻觅我唯一
勇敢真爱
照亮了漆黑的夜晚
寻找了一次一辈子
再不分开
恨我来不及参于你的过去
抱歉让你等待
我愿意付出一切交换
我灵魂的另一半
呜...耶....
是一个奇迹
对我说的一字一句
都是我们的秘密
紧紧拥抱唯一的你
无可救药的坚定
就是世界与我为敌
我也愿意
我什么都愿意
....呜...哦...
我愿意付出一切交换
我灵魂的另一半
ho ...哦...
就算让我伤尽天理
我什么都愿意为你
紧紧拥抱唯一的你
无可救药的坚定
就是世界与我为敌
我也愿意
我什么都愿意

周杰倫 - 最長的電影

我們的開始是很長的電影
放映了三年
我票都還留著
冰上的芭蕾腦海中還在旋轉
望著你慢慢忘記你
朦朧的時間 我們溜了多遠
冰刀劃的圈　圈起了誰改變
如果再重來 會不會稍嫌狼狽
愛是不是不開口才珍貴

再給我兩分鐘
讓我把記憶結成冰
別融化了眼淚　
你妝都花了
要我怎麼記得
記得你叫我忘了吧
記得你叫我忘了吧
你說你會哭
不是因為在乎


It has been showing for three years
I'm still keeping the ticket
The ballet on ice is still revolving in my mind
Looking at yet slowly forgetting you
In the haze of time How far we have skated
The circles made by the skates' blades, whoever's in it changes
If we could start all over again, will it be a tad too awkward
Is love more precious when it is kept in the heart?

Please give me two more minutes
Let me freeze these memories forever
Don't let your tears fall
Smudging your makeup
How can I remember?
I remember you told me to forget
I remember you told me to forget
You said you would cry
But not because you care

Its donkey years since I've last update. Just been busy keeping myself busy, busy and busy. Seriously, I've no idea what I've been busy about? After work, usually will go out eat till early in the morning like 2am or something. Either with Queenie, if not with some ex-staffs from Samuel & Kevin.

Work started last monday. Everything seems fine, I guess. The way of operation is so different from S&K. I guess I've been staying there for too long. And yeah, so different till so hard to get use to it.

Work there for 3 days yet I've learn nothing at all. I get so pissed, and I confronted the store manager. And indeed he do something about it. Which I'm happy about. At least I've learn something. *smile* Cashier-ing yes I've master it, and one thing still learning, closing. And soon will be learning opening. I guess that's it. VM should not be a problem for me.

2 off days which I seems to be happy about, but on off day, right now, I've nothing to do. Just sick of staying at home. Yet, I love to slack at home. Just get myself a hair cut. I guess I just gone crazy. My long hair I cut it till shoulder length. Oh well..

Get so tense up, so much things seems to be on my head till somehow, I broke down these past 2days. Nobody know what's going on with me, so am I. Somehow just feel like crying, just wanna stay alone to let all my sorrows rush thru me, weep, weep and weep.

Whenever I listen to this song, I will cry non-stop. I don't know why either. Maybe the lyrics touch my heart. Or maybe, there's a story behind it. I don't know..


范逸臣 - 不说出的温柔

你是否 忘记了 那时候的笑容
如果我已不在你心中
舍不得 为什么
你说过的以后 留下我能不能圆梦
那天空 云很多 看不见你的轮廓
只剩下 太多来不及说


是我 你好吗?
没什么事 只是想知道你好不好
这是我最后一次打给你了
希望你好好照顾自己

不说出的温柔 让你离开我
我以为你都会懂
等着你 我 才发现难过

很难说有没有 想念过你的手
可能是 我不愿去触碰
不记得本来你 有没有擦口红
反正是 我已经错过

那天空 云很多 看不见你的轮廓
剩下 太多来不及说
想哭的冲动 开始在失去以后
才等着你的手 拥抱我的寂寞
该说的时候 早应该大声的说
那种认真的沉默 弄巧成拙

不说出的温柔 让你离开我
我以为你都会懂

想哭的冲动 开始在失去以后
已经擦干了泪 为何还有点痛
该说的时候 早应该大声的说
爱已经留下缺口 剩下沉默
不说出的温柔 让你离开我
去拥抱你要的梦
别担心我 我会好好过


Morning shift tomorrow, right now, gonna slack around. And I don't know what else to do next.. I'm just sick tired.. Of everything..

Finally. Today last day at Baleno Kingdom(s) Pte Ltd. Its only a week of serving notice. I hope this time round, I will never ever turn back.

Went to KTV yesterday. With my 1st crew. Terence, Joanne, Zen, Chloe. The rest are Crew from Bugis Everlast crew. Well, I did enjoy myself. :) Looking forward for Monday work. *big smile*



Twins-我很想爱他-歌词

天空 下起雨了
他撑的伞 在你的身边陪着

可是 我不快乐
因为看见 他脸上的笑 是很勉强的

我很想爱他 但是眼睛在说谎
隐瞒比较容易吧 免得感情变的复杂
我很想爱他 但是理智在吵架
退出可以解围吗 注能给我一个好回答

爱情 是模糊的
可怜的是 没有勇气选择
如果 再舍不得
这样下去 我们每个人都是受害者

当爱情陷在危险边缘
是否都会伤痕累累
是否都会苦不堪言
爱情教会我们都放不下

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