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ramblings of a young adult

一颗心属于一个人 在爱情里什么算公平 爱得深也伤的深 是不是罪免了自己 一颗心属于我自己 爱情里找不到公平 而当你最后选择了逃避 我学会不公平




本来就不公平

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Your subtleties they strangle me, I can't explain myself at all. And all the wants, and all the needs, all I don't want to need at all. The walls start breathing, my mind's unweaving, maybe it's best you leave me alone. A weight is lifted on this evening I give the final blow. A falling star, at least I fall alone, I can't explain what you can't explain. You're finding things that you didn't know. I look at you with such disdain.

Was watching one of the random TV program, and they were sharing about this..

What would you do...

You've all the time in the world, and when you're at the road side waiting for cab. A cab just pass by, and will you hire it?

My answer is no. I will wait.

You've been spending so much time waiting for the correct person to pick you up, just then, a cab passby, and will you hire it or will you continue to wait for the correct one?

I will still wait. Cause waiting will create miracle..

These few days been tiring. Did nothing much, other then getting myself some Chinese New Year clothes. Got myself a Levis skirt, and some random top that I shop with Elina back then.

And when you forget that we had a date, or that look that you get when you show up late, baby I love you, I love you anyway.

I requested to work on Chinese New Year. Praying that will be able to work. Cause CNY is hell boring. Plus my house is so damn pack. What's attractive is double pay, plus only one shift. 12pm till 8pm. I hope I be working. If not, seriously, I've no idea what am I suppose to do. I guess be sleeping at home, and slack, and slack, and slack.

Its been a hard week I guess. Continous working since Saturday, didn't have much rest, plus, fever coming in and out. Getting headache, if not gastric pain almost everyday. Blame myself for not having my meal on time. Or perhaps skipping meal, for instance now. Wondering what happen to me. Just plain lazy to see doctor, or perhaps, I can't afford one.

It won't be nice to take MC after you come back from a 5days off week. I'm pretty surprise that they allow me to take so much off days. Well, I'm still waiting for saturday. Hurry come.. Finally get to off. I need a break.. So badly..

I'm not implying anything.

Did alot of thinking recently. What happen between us? I don't know why you're getting so upset about what happen during my chalet. Plus, I don't know why you wanna blog about it. It hurts so badly. But I'm still holding on. It will be weird to meet up again. Smiling and making fool out of ourselves.

I don't like to come home so early, because my background is so damn noise.

Anyway, I don't know how long we'll be having our "cold war" someday, if we meet up on street again, will you hug me tight and tell me everything will be fine? How long will that be? What's going on with me or my life right now? *argh*

It has been so long since we have talked, I hope that things are still the same hoping they will never change cause what we had can't be replaced. Don't let our memories fade away keep me in your heart for always. You made me believe that I can do almost anything stood right by me through the tears through everything

I don't like those thoughts that coming right thru my head right now. Just feel like running away. Get away for awhile. Sort my feelings, my emo out. Maybe that's when I come back, I will be a brand new person. I hope. I need a break-thru..


This song that keep going thru my head up and down, left and right, turning all around.. Appreciate if someone just send it to me. Cause the lyrics are so EMO plus meaningful.. Rooster - Deep and meaningless

I, I don't know why I miss you so much
Yeah I, I don't know why I still feel your touch
You, you left me feeling high and dry
With nothing, nothing but the question why

Yeah you, I guess you had another direction
And leaving me with nothing but a dead connection

Chorus:
If you call me today
I'll say that I'm fine
But I bet you can tell by the tone of my voice
It's just a lie
You knew what you had
You still walked away leaving me in this mess
My love for you is deep and meaningless

You, you knew what you were doing to me
And I, I guess I was too blind to see
Well you hit where it hurt and you fooled me so bad
But I'd do it again to relive what we had
(Damn that's sad)

There are many things left to remind me
Of a love that I just can't leave behind me

Chorus (Repeat)




And for now, I will get away.. Till when I get myself stable with emotions..

jianwen for your info, I've no idea who you are, and yeah. I'm not attached. The guy that I'm out with is one of my close friend. If every guy that I met is my BF, I must be real busy then. ;)

She like that, he also like that. What the hell have I done wrong? Can someone tell me?

I've never felt this way before, everything that I do, reminds me of you. All I ever wanted was for you to know, everything I do I give my heart and soul. I can hardly breathe, I need to feel you here with me.

You were the one who I could tell my deepest fears. And you were the one who always wiped away my tears.

So now I've lost everything cause now you say you’re gone forever more so who will I run to? Who will I turn to? Now that you left me behind. Who will dry my tears when I cry? Who will I run to? And who will I turn to? Now that you’re not here in my life.

You were the one, I took for granted all these while, and you were the one I should've known, it was so clear. How could I be so blind? Not to see what's before my eyes? I'll get you back here with me, if it takes the rest of my life.

Cause I would give anything, cause I want you back forever more. I will gladly journey across the deep blue sea, If I could know that I would have you here with me, I realize that I was blind, but now I finally see. I need you back here in my life.

Who will be there for me? Who's gonna rescue me? Who's gonna share my dreams? Who's gonna mend this broken heart?

I want the time to go back. Go back to those days that make me smile so much..

I shouldn't have celebrate my 21st birthday. I should have just get away. At least things are clear, and better. I'm sorry girl. I didn't know that I've hurt you so much.

Fcuk.

ALl these while I thought you will understand me. But I didn't know in fact you didn't. You're the one telling me that "its better to spend your birthday with the one you love" I wanted to, but I rather celebrate birthday myself.

How sad.

Sobbing and weeping at one of the block at Simei. I wanted you to come down and accomany me. But I'm afraid that because of me, you'll get scolding from your parents. Plus, its so late, there's no where we can go. I rather I start to pick myself up, let myself be the one getting hurt.

Don't hate him. He didn't do anything wrong. Hate me instead. All along I'm always the one.

My 21st just ruin like that. Its alright.. You take care. As for now, I won't contact you till you think that I'm still your GF.. If you don't, I understand, and just let me collapse like this..

Sorry...

A BIG THANK YOU.


Thank you people for attending my birthday. And yeah, its hell wu-lu, but you guys still make your way there. Thank you everyone listed below, hopefully I didn't miss out anyone..

Friends:
Kai Sheng, Bubu, Nigel, Xiao Yi & BF, Irfan, Lynn, William, Johnathan, Sara, Chin Mei, Xiu Ping & BF, Queenie, Joshua, Ying Yan, Ron, Qili, Ben, Hazel, Edna, Christine, Cher.

S&K:
Terence, Chloe, Alvin, Zen, Yvonne, Sheron, 170, Winson, Jerry.

CHC:
Zhen Ying, Sze Yin, Rachel, Terence, Robin, Saren, Jeffery, Wei Jian, Yuli.

Cotton On Crew who come on 2nd day:
Eddie, Steven, Chris, Candy & BF.

And the girl who check-in with me, check-out with me. Spending almost 3days straight with me, and the girl who came over after work, not sleeping for more then 24hours: MISS CHAN XIN DAI

You know how much you mean to me, and thank you for your big help. For that, I love you more. (HAHA, so lesbie) Anyway, thank you for everything.. :)

Its over crowding, I hope I've being a good host. HAHA. And thanks to Cotton On Crew, hang-over. I have fun. ;)

Happy birthday to me. Photos will be upload soon. :)

Happy birthday to myself. Though its early but I guess will be busy throughout the week.. I'm not that excited at all..

Actual day 17th Jan, will be at home.. Anyone keen with coming out with me? Only guys with the height of 1.8m, weighing 78kg can apply. ;) Be waiting..

This song, bring me so close to tears... Though its a old song, but its meaningful..

我真的受伤了 - 张学友

窗外阴天了音乐低声了
我的心开始想你了
灯光也暗了音乐低声了
口中的棉花糖也融化了
窗外阴天了人是无聊了
我的心开始想你了
电话响起了你要说话了
还以为你心里对我又想念了
怎麽你声音变得冷淡了
是你变了是你变了
灯光熄灭了音乐静止了
滴下的眼泪已停不住了
天下起雨了人是不快乐
我的心真的受伤了

Its getting so close to birthday, and this bunch of girls are making me insane. And if i know, i dont want to invite them.. HAHA.

There's like 4of us talking.

+ ëdnå`z + says:
chris - just keep making her drink 21 cups

† ebel † says:
thanks hor

+ ëdnå`z + says:
cos is 21st bday
hahahaha
we 3 person.. take turns la

† ebel † says:
eh i go sleep liao

[Cher] says:
if i dont have school and project

† ebel † says:
BYE!

[Cher]says:
LOL

† ebel † says:
lol

christine the nice one says:
so fast!??!

[Cher] says:
WHY U RUNNING

+ ëdnå`z + says:
fast sia

christine the nice one says:
u purposely run
lol

† ebel † says:
hahahhahah
ah bo.

+ ëdnå`z + says:
dun so scared la

christine the nice one says:
dont run larhhh

+ ëdnå`z + says:
everyone's bday cfm drunk 1 la

christine the nice one says:
ur bday lehs
yeah lorh
21st

+ ëdnå`z + says:
21st is a gd start..
yeah.

christine the nice one says:
must be drunk!
plus
SAREN CAN MIX THE DRINKS
she very good one right

+ ëdnå`z + says:
HAHA

† ebel † says:
....

[Cher]says:
lol

christine the nice one says:
she mix
give ebel drink

[Cher] says:
LOL

christine the nice one says:
not for herself to drink

+ ëdnå`z + says:
hhaha
christine the nice one says:
LOL

+ ëdnå`z + says:
bud mix wif what sia
thr's onli vodka
hahahaha

christine the nice one says:
dont know?

+ ëdnå`z + says :sea water?
hahahaha


They're really insane... Oh man..

离开不会太悲伤
有些心情该释放
直到眼泪它自己落下
才发现骗不了自己
其实很爱你
现在学着去遗忘
躲开有你的地方
回忆被谁放在书架上
把他从最高的地方落下
感动越是深刻
寂寞就越伤人喔
每个人的心里都
会有一段伤痕
像白纸的天真
仿佛被你伤得好深
相爱不需要理由
离开也没有理由挽留

21st birthday coming soooooo soon. I feel the old and pressure. Aww.. Anyway, its like 7more days, but I got 2present! Haha. *big smile*

From Miss Chan. Actually I choose myself. Haha. But I love it! She bought it kinda long ago, just that I'm pretty lazy with blogging.



From Cotton On crew. Jayden, David(Regional manager), RJ and Amzah(Suntec crew) Never expect that they will give me. Haha. What about PS crew? I doubt so. Thick skin enough to ask them for present. LOL.




A fun day with her..


Thats all. Gonna shower now, and go for work..

Drink drink drink. Been drinking for the past 2nights. Aww.. KInda sobber, but still able to get myself home.. 21st birthday coming.. Right now, I'm afraid to turn old..

You and I, we never had it easy baby. We had to work so hard and everytime it feels like we're gonna make it. That's when it falls apart.

Every night I think about the mistakes I've made, I try to change my ways. Nothing's gonna change my ways, and I don't mind all the little games we play. And all the foolish things you say.

Love is what you make it, so give it one more try. Cause I get turned down when you're not around. I just can't take it all.

You and I, we never had it easy baby. We've both been hurt before. And only time will tell us if we're gonna make it. There's no way to be sure, but..

Baby I'll take my chances with you

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