e
m
P
t
Y
Tried to take a picture; Of love
I wanna fill this new frame; But it's Empty
Ebel Yong
22years old
1.7m, 52kg
17th Jan 1987[Birthday]
4th June 2006[Spiritual]
Believes that waiting will creates miracle
I wanna fill this new frame; But it's Empty
{/profile --
ramblings of a young adult
Ebel Yong
22years old
1.7m, 52kg
17th Jan 1987[Birthday]
4th June 2006[Spiritual]
Believes that waiting will creates miracle
Tried to write a letter; In ink
I've got a piece of paper; But it's Empty
I've been busy recently. I guess, those busy time already over. Finally get away from Wisma, which bring me so close to tears. I love that store, even though its really busy and really messy. I just love the atmosphere, even though its dusty. I just simply love the food over there! I mean over at Far East or Lucky Plaza.
I'm transfer to a store whereby there isn't much crowd, there's nothing to do. Its totally not busy at all, opening with one staff, closing with 2 staffs. Can you imaging how "busy" it is over there. The sales there is so low, nothing much to do, other then think, think and think. I wonder what are they doing. Sigh.
So much things happen on the very first day at work, and on the second day, so much things cork up. But at least, I get my friends to stay with me. I feel so much joys, loves and everything.
Queenie is back from her holiday, which means more late nights, more supper. Yeah, I gonna gain back my weight. Have a new group of friends. (I though them thru Queenie) Though they've their own transport, Bike, and I really detest it back them. But they really change my point of view.
Though they keep on laughing and stuffs, sometimes I realise that they're good company. Real good company. Bring me to where ever I want to. Even though its late at night, a SMS sent, a friend will come down. Been down sometimes back ago, one of them came down all the way within 15mins, just to console me. What else can I ask for more from this group of friends? They bring me to lots of funs, memories, joys, or whatever you can think of.
Thats all I gonna say. And right now, I'm indeed tired. I need more rest. I want a break thru, I need a long term break..
李玖哲 想太多
你笑着说
他是朋友
但你眼中太温柔
我的不安
那么沉重
只有你不懂
他霸占了你的心中
属于我的角落
所以你说
我们不是你和我
是我想太多
你总这样说但你却没有真的心疼我
是我想太多我也这样说
这是唯一能安慰我的理由
他霸占了你的心中属于我的角落
所以你说我们不是你和我
是我想太多你总这样说
但你却没有真的心疼我
是我想太多我也这样说
这是唯一能安慰我的理由
我想我没有错怪了什么
虽然你不说或许错在我
太晚我才懂爱了你太多
是我想太多你总这样说
但你却没有真的心疼我
是我想太多我也这样说
这是唯一能安慰我的理由
I saw this at my friend's friendster profile.
This is Man, typical Man. In the beginning Man seems so sure. He promises love and devotion forever. He knows without a doubt his love is always true. Woman starts out cautious, afraid to trust, used to being burned, wanting to believe, yet recalling past betrayals and broken promises.
Little by little Man convinces Woman. She opens her heart and begin to trust, Relaxes a bit in the security of believing she is safe at last from pain. This is when Man becomes unsure. He takes away the gift she struggled so hard to accept.
He removes her foundation and again she falls. Into the emptiness, afraid to guess how far. Before she hits bottom again. Man wants her to understand. He didn't want to hurt her. He didn't meant to lie. He didn't even know, until she believed him, that it was a lie. An intruder steps in.
Man wants to keep his options open. In case he once again changes his mind. Woman is faced with the choice of giving up. Yet keeping her sense of self, or living in limbo, never knowing, waiting, hoping. Slowly losing her identity until it is nearly impossible to find herself again. Man wants patience and acceptance, no matter what he does.
Woman needs security, someone to count on. Neither can have what they need from the other. Without losing a part of themselves. Man walks away, still not knowing what he did wrong, Or should have done right. He shrugs it off and repeats the pattern with another.
Woman again gives up, builds walls around her heart. Each time the walls are a little bit higher. Next time Man wants to break through she will have to work harder still, to open up and give him a chance. Yet she somehow hopes to find the one. Man who tells no lies, breaks no promises and leaves no scars of betrayal. The one who will stay, and keep her safe forever.
Woman cries within her soul and Man plays on.
Life been great. Finally off after so long. Well, at least I did rest, and I've lotsa time doing nothing. Actually I did pack my room.. table only. That took me like 1/2 of my day. Ha. Was at home the whole day till Queenie came over at about 7pm.
Did nothing as well, slack and slack.. Head out at about 9pm. She went home, as for me, head to City to meet Andy. Pretty funny whereby both of us are so bored, in the end, he drive the whole streets of Geyland. And he drive me home.
Well, I've been a good girl. Always reach home about 1230am. Ha. No longer after 1am. Or maybe perhaps these few days, I've learn to be good? Or perhaps, certain things I can't remember, that's great isn't that? At least I'm smiling now. (:
Feels like I have always known you, and I swear I dreamt about you. All those endless nights I was alone, it's like I've spent forever searching, now I know that it was worth it with you it feels like I am finally home.
I thought I could resist you, I thought that I was strong, somehow you were different from what I've known. I didn't see you coming, you took me by surprise and you stole my heart before I could say no.
Falling head over heels, thought I knew how it feels but with you it's like the first day of my life.
You leave me speechless the way you smile, the way you touch my face. You leave me breathless it's something that you do I can't explain. I run a million miles just to hear you say my name, Baby. You leave me speechless.
Elina: I think my parents are over protective in a way whereby they want us not to bother YM. Cause I think I scare he sign too much, later no money pay the banks or what-so-ever. But I believe YM won't lah. He know what to sign what not to. As for my sis trip seriously, I've no idea that my parents ain't forking out. And YM actually wanna help me to sign thru credit card! :D With 0% interest. HAHA! That means every month I will pay him back! Awesome isn't it. And yeah, I'm going PSB instead of MIS cause like what you say, MIS shifted. And I've no idea where is it! LOL...
You and I, we never had it easy baby. We had to work so hard and everytime it feels like we're gonna make it, that's when it falls apart.
Every night I think about the mistakes I've made, I try to change my ways. And I don't mind all the little games we play, and all the foolish things you say.
Love is what you make it, so give it one more try. Cause I get turned down when you're not around I just can't take it all. You and I we never had it easy baby we've both been hurt before. And only time will tell us if we're gonna make it, there's no way to be sure, but
Baby I'll take my chances with you, that's what I'm gonna do..
I'm so tired with everything.
Seriously I wanna know what's on my parents mind. If I'm the one that causing unhappiness in this family, fine, I will leave this house. If not, just let me be the way I wanna be, the way I wanna lead my life with.
I don't have a sense of belonging in this family. That's what I feel. Cause whatever happen, I'm always the last to know. How great. Blame me for coming home so late, blame me for whatever reasons they wanna give.
Exchange nasty words with my mum yesterday. It started off with my sister. My phone was at the room charging, whereby there's alot of calls and SMSes come in. She got piss, and started to scream. And my mum was the one who called. Whereby I'm at her room making up, and she's at the living room. Yes wtf.
There come my sister, rushing out of the room and shouted "Your phone is ringing lah!"
Then my mum was in the picture, "Oh I was the one calling it. Ignore it lah, I think Jie jie forget to bring phone to work."
Me: "My problem lah. Why you bother so much?"
Her: "Its irritating can. Just set silent lah!"
Me: "Just shut up can."
And I slam my bedroom door. My mum came in to the room, and started to lecture her. BUT I was the one who slam the door. I just kept quiet. They scream and yell at each other, and my sister throw all the blames on me.
And we started to quarrel.. My mum last question stops me "If you don't like this house, can tell me one.."
I wish I could say "Yes I don't like this home at all. Its never being warm, because you guys never spare a thought for me at all. You guys are just selfish."
I wish I did save up back then, and at least now, I'm out of the house.. How I wish I could turn back the time at times..
What's next was 3days ago, my mum came calling me. She THOUGHT that I didn't go home. Sometimes I wish they didn't call, especially her, cause she always piss me off. Argh. She always ask this question "Are you working now? Can talk over the phone anot?"
"Ya why?"
"Last night what time you come home?"
"3am, dad saw. Why?"
"Then what time you work today?"
"830am, woke up at 630am. WHY?"
"Nothing lah..." The line went dead.
She always do that. And sometimes when I didn't pick up the phone she will be saying like "Wah, friends call you 100% call back, parents call until the house already burnt down don't want to pick up."
What the.. Anyway, that day she called me, was the day she shifted my things. And that day was the first time I reach home at 10pm+++ after so many donkey months. And then, I realise that my bedroom there's a little of changes. My parents shifted some of my stuffs. And what's next. In front of me, broke my photo frame, that I've been placed on the table for years.
Burning deep inside. That photo can never take out, because its been there for the past 2-3 years. My dad came asking what to do?
"Throw it away lah."
"Then the photo how?"
"Throw away lah.."
The very next day, my dad came SMS-ing me.. "Girl, your bedroom swap with Kor kor room. I will repaint the wall, and color I will choose for you."
I'm like, wtf. You guys just rearrange my bedroom once, and what's next? Shift and change bedroom again? I guess they've nothing much to do and keep changing and changing.
The next morning I woke up, which was today, I got a shock of my life. My room is freaking HOT PINK. It really PISS me off. Firstly, MY PARENTS KNOW I DETEST PINK. And before that, my room is patal pink, now HOT PINK. Wtf?
My bed cover is green/yellow. They painted my wall PINK!? And all furnitures are green and brown. Wass up with that HOT PINK? The room everything including adding items doesn't invovle me at all. They call it my room? Fuck. Its like my sister room. Asked them to make a little room for me at the living room. Too much to ask? Its enough lah......
Argh.. And they make me don't feel like coming home so much. And they make me detest them more and more.. When time is up, I will leave.......
Was off on Sunday and Monday. Well, went to PSB on monday not long after I blog. Jo was late. So I headed to school myself. We had dinner at Qi Ji and head to City. Was wondering where should we go, ended up I suggested Starbucks at Suntec. Cause it was raining that day, plus, there isn't anywhere to go.
Took a train there and alight at City Hall. Taking the escalator up, and guess what? Saw Mr. Nameless & his GF. Well, I've no idea why the both of us rush up and head down again. Took the same train together to Pasir Ris direction.
And myself & Jo was talking inside the cabin, and I've no idea if they did saw us doing that. Anyway, his GF saw me, cause I can see that she's facing my direction, plus I guess, he did told her. I wonder why? Anyway, that's about it. From that day till now, I hear nothing from him. I guess, its enough... And I've no idea what to continue to blog about.
Time to prepare and head to work.. *shag.....
By the way, Happy 21st Birthday Edna
24th March 2008. Will you remember that we have a date?
PSB? MIS? PSB? MIS? PSB? MIS? PSB? MIS?
I've no idea which school to go to. Both school I've friends over there. Oh well.. Be taking my dip in Business. Most likely will enroll this intake. And school be starting end of the month. And I will be hell busy over my life. Well, that's good isn't that? So that I will feel nothing at all.
Because of education, somehow or rather I quarrel with my dad. Because of money issue. He confronted me telling me why am I so last minute to inform him about enrolling to school. Yes I admit its my bad. But I over look by thinking that they know about it. Well, been wanting to enroll to school like donkey years ago. Anyway, I didn't save up any single cent over it. HA.
Only want them to help me to fork out $300 the most, but didn't know they reject me straight. Telling me some negative stuffs that wanting to bring me down. Seriously, I've no idea which course to take. Sales & Marketing or Business course. Well, when I know what I want, I told them. And here come my mum telling me to take up tourism course. Sigh.
Asked my dad if I can take the money from bro. Ended up he's telling that "Your bro getting married. He needs money, so stop taking money from him!" Is like this is the first time I'm asking him for the money? And hey, is not like next month I won't return? This month is hell dry for me. Cause last month total I took 6days of MC. And, end of this month, I gonna fork out another $400 for my retainer. Man..
(I don't like coming home so early. Other then they will nag, and I don't have a peace of heart at home. My house right now is like a hotel to me. Come home, shower and sleep that all. No sense of belonging..)
What's next was my brother getting married. My dad been asking me to take a look out for computer. What's that big issue about? YM(bro) getting married like end of the year. I still have so many donkey months to take a look out. Plus, I treat my house like a hotel, doesn't have the time to use the net. Even if I did, just check my mails, and head out. I don't stay home and use for long. (Other then off days.)
I wanna get myself a labby, cause I can bring out and use. But ended up my dad ask me to grab a desktop. Argh. He ask me to choose, yet he tell me what to buy. What's wrong with the people nowadays?
And lastly. My sis wanna change the layout of the room. Wanna get new bed and everything. She was suggesting to get a double deck bed. (That's the reason why I don't like to share bedroom.) Which I disagree. Who gonna take the upper deck? Come on, be realistic a little, I'm so freaking tall, I will hit the damn ceilling when I wake up. And my dad was like saying "whoever come home late will take the lower deck." I spoke to myself saying "I will comfirm come home after 3am."
Because I never appreciate nice things. I wanna get a queen size bed at the lower deck. And my mum was like saying "Why must you need a queen size bed? And who gonna pay for the new bed? And what you gonna do with the single bed you have now?" Argh. If things can work out in a simple way, I want to..
I don't like to argue with them. Cause whatever I say, no one gonna appreciate what I have to say, or want to say. Cause to them, I never make any sense. I have my own reason, but did they ever want to open up and listen to me? Never.. That's why I never like my home, never even love my home. To me, its just another hotel that I stay...
I called Mr Nameless that day that I argue with my parents. A couple of days before, we chatted on SMS. Saying that we will be there for each other during our darkest period. Well, I called, I SMS him telling that I need someone to talk to. No respond till the following day. Which I make the move of starting to SMS him.
Went to Double C with Queenie, bump onto Newell there. Have fun, and I SMS him asking him why didn't he get back to me the moment he receive my SMS? And he replied "She saw everything." Expected. He has training on Thursday, and it was the day I called him. And, they haven't being seeing each other for the past 1 week. Due to her calling me. And he actually confronted her. (In details I don't know what happen.) And I roughly guess that she will be going down to the place where he has his training.
And I don't understand why can't he just pick up my call? Just because they're together? We promise to be there for one another as a friend of course. What happen now? Why everytime we say one thing and we're reacting in another way?
Why whenever I really wanna let go, and you turn back. Its like 3weeks since we see one another, and what happen next was you wanting to meet up for dinner. And yes, I admit that back then we wanted to meet up, but we didn't. And I said when he's ready to meet up as a friend, then call me.
We meet up, we slack around, laughing and having fun. Pretending that nothing happen? Why whenever things go out of way, we never sit down and talk about it before? The past 3weeks, how things go on at your side? You are never happy about it, so am I. What now? Gonna go MIA again? And weeks later come back again?
I gonna face the facts right now. I never give up on you all along, you are the one who give up on me. Don't do all those stupid and silly things anymore. By trying luck and sit and my area hoping to see me? If you wanna meet me, just call me. I don't want you to be the silly one doing all these all over again.. And again.. I really give up trying, give up wanting to be better..
You once said that to me..
"The girl in my dream is my longest movie.. "
Because so many people are telling me, "Bell, you deserve someone so much more better then Mr. Nameless.." And I know..
But I just can't let go..
I think I'm fine. I guess there's ain't much things to blog about. Other then so many friends of mine having celebration, birthdays, to house warming, to baby full month or even wedding. March is hell busy. BUSY and BUSY. (or perhaps, i've been busy doing nothing..)
Seriously, I've lost touch with blogging. So much things happen at home, at work, or even my personal life. But I just don't know where to start, or how to start, or perhaps I can't be bother to blog about anything.
Right now, the only thing I'm looking forward is 24th March 08.. :)
I've been fine, I've been great. (: I'm just busy.. Busy with doing nothing..
And I will never try to deny that you are my whole life. Cause if you ever let me go, I would die so I won't run, I don't need another man. I just need you or nothing Cause if I got that, then I'll be straight. Baby you're the best part of my day.
I'm into you and no one else would do with every kiss and every hug, you make me fall in love. And now I know I can't be the only one, I bet there's hearts all over the world tonight with the love of their life who feel what I feel when I'm with you..
Its 1st March. Time to move on. Jia you! (: GOodbye.. Only beautiful memories..
I've got a piece of paper; But it's Empty
{/ --
Saturday, March 29, 2008 ( 3/29/2008 12:33:00 PM )
I've been busy recently. I guess, those busy time already over. Finally get away from Wisma, which bring me so close to tears. I love that store, even though its really busy and really messy. I just love the atmosphere, even though its dusty. I just simply love the food over there! I mean over at Far East or Lucky Plaza.
I'm transfer to a store whereby there isn't much crowd, there's nothing to do. Its totally not busy at all, opening with one staff, closing with 2 staffs. Can you imaging how "busy" it is over there. The sales there is so low, nothing much to do, other then think, think and think. I wonder what are they doing. Sigh.
So much things happen on the very first day at work, and on the second day, so much things cork up. But at least, I get my friends to stay with me. I feel so much joys, loves and everything.
Queenie is back from her holiday, which means more late nights, more supper. Yeah, I gonna gain back my weight. Have a new group of friends. (I though them thru Queenie) Though they've their own transport, Bike, and I really detest it back them. But they really change my point of view.
Though they keep on laughing and stuffs, sometimes I realise that they're good company. Real good company. Bring me to where ever I want to. Even though its late at night, a SMS sent, a friend will come down. Been down sometimes back ago, one of them came down all the way within 15mins, just to console me. What else can I ask for more from this group of friends? They bring me to lots of funs, memories, joys, or whatever you can think of.
Thats all I gonna say. And right now, I'm indeed tired. I need more rest. I want a break thru, I need a long term break..
李玖哲 想太多
你笑着说
他是朋友
但你眼中太温柔
我的不安
那么沉重
只有你不懂
他霸占了你的心中
属于我的角落
所以你说
我们不是你和我
是我想太多
你总这样说但你却没有真的心疼我
是我想太多我也这样说
这是唯一能安慰我的理由
他霸占了你的心中属于我的角落
所以你说我们不是你和我
是我想太多你总这样说
但你却没有真的心疼我
是我想太多我也这样说
这是唯一能安慰我的理由
我想我没有错怪了什么
虽然你不说或许错在我
太晚我才懂爱了你太多
是我想太多你总这样说
但你却没有真的心疼我
是我想太多我也这样说
这是唯一能安慰我的理由
{/ --
Thursday, March 20, 2008 ( 3/20/2008 10:06:00 AM )
I saw this at my friend's friendster profile.
This is Man, typical Man. In the beginning Man seems so sure. He promises love and devotion forever. He knows without a doubt his love is always true. Woman starts out cautious, afraid to trust, used to being burned, wanting to believe, yet recalling past betrayals and broken promises.
Little by little Man convinces Woman. She opens her heart and begin to trust, Relaxes a bit in the security of believing she is safe at last from pain. This is when Man becomes unsure. He takes away the gift she struggled so hard to accept.
He removes her foundation and again she falls. Into the emptiness, afraid to guess how far. Before she hits bottom again. Man wants her to understand. He didn't want to hurt her. He didn't meant to lie. He didn't even know, until she believed him, that it was a lie. An intruder steps in.
Man wants to keep his options open. In case he once again changes his mind. Woman is faced with the choice of giving up. Yet keeping her sense of self, or living in limbo, never knowing, waiting, hoping. Slowly losing her identity until it is nearly impossible to find herself again. Man wants patience and acceptance, no matter what he does.
Woman needs security, someone to count on. Neither can have what they need from the other. Without losing a part of themselves. Man walks away, still not knowing what he did wrong, Or should have done right. He shrugs it off and repeats the pattern with another.
Woman again gives up, builds walls around her heart. Each time the walls are a little bit higher. Next time Man wants to break through she will have to work harder still, to open up and give him a chance. Yet she somehow hopes to find the one. Man who tells no lies, breaks no promises and leaves no scars of betrayal. The one who will stay, and keep her safe forever.
Woman cries within her soul and Man plays on.
{/ --
Wednesday, March 19, 2008 ( 3/19/2008 01:15:00 PM )
Life been great. Finally off after so long. Well, at least I did rest, and I've lotsa time doing nothing. Actually I did pack my room.. table only. That took me like 1/2 of my day. Ha. Was at home the whole day till Queenie came over at about 7pm.
Did nothing as well, slack and slack.. Head out at about 9pm. She went home, as for me, head to City to meet Andy. Pretty funny whereby both of us are so bored, in the end, he drive the whole streets of Geyland. And he drive me home.
Well, I've been a good girl. Always reach home about 1230am. Ha. No longer after 1am. Or maybe perhaps these few days, I've learn to be good? Or perhaps, certain things I can't remember, that's great isn't that? At least I'm smiling now. (:
Feels like I have always known you, and I swear I dreamt about you. All those endless nights I was alone, it's like I've spent forever searching, now I know that it was worth it with you it feels like I am finally home.
I thought I could resist you, I thought that I was strong, somehow you were different from what I've known. I didn't see you coming, you took me by surprise and you stole my heart before I could say no.
Falling head over heels, thought I knew how it feels but with you it's like the first day of my life.
You leave me speechless the way you smile, the way you touch my face. You leave me breathless it's something that you do I can't explain. I run a million miles just to hear you say my name, Baby. You leave me speechless.
Elina: I think my parents are over protective in a way whereby they want us not to bother YM. Cause I think I scare he sign too much, later no money pay the banks or what-so-ever. But I believe YM won't lah. He know what to sign what not to. As for my sis trip seriously, I've no idea that my parents ain't forking out. And YM actually wanna help me to sign thru credit card! :D With 0% interest. HAHA! That means every month I will pay him back! Awesome isn't it. And yeah, I'm going PSB instead of MIS cause like what you say, MIS shifted. And I've no idea where is it! LOL...
{/ --
Tuesday, March 18, 2008 ( 3/18/2008 05:28:00 PM )
You and I, we never had it easy baby. We had to work so hard and everytime it feels like we're gonna make it, that's when it falls apart.
Every night I think about the mistakes I've made, I try to change my ways. And I don't mind all the little games we play, and all the foolish things you say.
Love is what you make it, so give it one more try. Cause I get turned down when you're not around I just can't take it all. You and I we never had it easy baby we've both been hurt before. And only time will tell us if we're gonna make it, there's no way to be sure, but
Baby I'll take my chances with you, that's what I'm gonna do..
{/ --
Sunday, March 16, 2008 ( 3/16/2008 11:23:00 AM )
I'm so tired with everything.
Seriously I wanna know what's on my parents mind. If I'm the one that causing unhappiness in this family, fine, I will leave this house. If not, just let me be the way I wanna be, the way I wanna lead my life with.
I don't have a sense of belonging in this family. That's what I feel. Cause whatever happen, I'm always the last to know. How great. Blame me for coming home so late, blame me for whatever reasons they wanna give.
Exchange nasty words with my mum yesterday. It started off with my sister. My phone was at the room charging, whereby there's alot of calls and SMSes come in. She got piss, and started to scream. And my mum was the one who called. Whereby I'm at her room making up, and she's at the living room. Yes wtf.
There come my sister, rushing out of the room and shouted "Your phone is ringing lah!"
Then my mum was in the picture, "Oh I was the one calling it. Ignore it lah, I think Jie jie forget to bring phone to work."
Me: "My problem lah. Why you bother so much?"
Her: "Its irritating can. Just set silent lah!"
Me: "Just shut up can."
And I slam my bedroom door. My mum came in to the room, and started to lecture her. BUT I was the one who slam the door. I just kept quiet. They scream and yell at each other, and my sister throw all the blames on me.
And we started to quarrel.. My mum last question stops me "If you don't like this house, can tell me one.."
I wish I could say "Yes I don't like this home at all. Its never being warm, because you guys never spare a thought for me at all. You guys are just selfish."
I wish I did save up back then, and at least now, I'm out of the house.. How I wish I could turn back the time at times..
What's next was 3days ago, my mum came calling me. She THOUGHT that I didn't go home. Sometimes I wish they didn't call, especially her, cause she always piss me off. Argh. She always ask this question "Are you working now? Can talk over the phone anot?"
"Ya why?"
"Last night what time you come home?"
"3am, dad saw. Why?"
"Then what time you work today?"
"830am, woke up at 630am. WHY?"
"Nothing lah..." The line went dead.
She always do that. And sometimes when I didn't pick up the phone she will be saying like "Wah, friends call you 100% call back, parents call until the house already burnt down don't want to pick up."
What the.. Anyway, that day she called me, was the day she shifted my things. And that day was the first time I reach home at 10pm+++ after so many donkey months. And then, I realise that my bedroom there's a little of changes. My parents shifted some of my stuffs. And what's next. In front of me, broke my photo frame, that I've been placed on the table for years.
Burning deep inside. That photo can never take out, because its been there for the past 2-3 years. My dad came asking what to do?
"Throw it away lah."
"Then the photo how?"
"Throw away lah.."
The very next day, my dad came SMS-ing me.. "Girl, your bedroom swap with Kor kor room. I will repaint the wall, and color I will choose for you."
I'm like, wtf. You guys just rearrange my bedroom once, and what's next? Shift and change bedroom again? I guess they've nothing much to do and keep changing and changing.
The next morning I woke up, which was today, I got a shock of my life. My room is freaking HOT PINK. It really PISS me off. Firstly, MY PARENTS KNOW I DETEST PINK. And before that, my room is patal pink, now HOT PINK. Wtf?
My bed cover is green/yellow. They painted my wall PINK!? And all furnitures are green and brown. Wass up with that HOT PINK? The room everything including adding items doesn't invovle me at all. They call it my room? Fuck. Its like my sister room. Asked them to make a little room for me at the living room. Too much to ask? Its enough lah......
Argh.. And they make me don't feel like coming home so much. And they make me detest them more and more.. When time is up, I will leave.......
{/ --
Wednesday, March 12, 2008 ( 3/12/2008 10:34:00 AM )
Was off on Sunday and Monday. Well, went to PSB on monday not long after I blog. Jo was late. So I headed to school myself. We had dinner at Qi Ji and head to City. Was wondering where should we go, ended up I suggested Starbucks at Suntec. Cause it was raining that day, plus, there isn't anywhere to go.
Took a train there and alight at City Hall. Taking the escalator up, and guess what? Saw Mr. Nameless & his GF. Well, I've no idea why the both of us rush up and head down again. Took the same train together to Pasir Ris direction.
And myself & Jo was talking inside the cabin, and I've no idea if they did saw us doing that. Anyway, his GF saw me, cause I can see that she's facing my direction, plus I guess, he did told her. I wonder why? Anyway, that's about it. From that day till now, I hear nothing from him. I guess, its enough... And I've no idea what to continue to blog about.
Time to prepare and head to work.. *shag.....
By the way, Happy 21st Birthday Edna
24th March 2008. Will you remember that we have a date?
{/ --
Monday, March 10, 2008 ( 3/10/2008 03:13:00 PM )
PSB? MIS? PSB? MIS? PSB? MIS? PSB? MIS?
I've no idea which school to go to. Both school I've friends over there. Oh well.. Be taking my dip in Business. Most likely will enroll this intake. And school be starting end of the month. And I will be hell busy over my life. Well, that's good isn't that? So that I will feel nothing at all.
Because of education, somehow or rather I quarrel with my dad. Because of money issue. He confronted me telling me why am I so last minute to inform him about enrolling to school. Yes I admit its my bad. But I over look by thinking that they know about it. Well, been wanting to enroll to school like donkey years ago. Anyway, I didn't save up any single cent over it. HA.
Only want them to help me to fork out $300 the most, but didn't know they reject me straight. Telling me some negative stuffs that wanting to bring me down. Seriously, I've no idea which course to take. Sales & Marketing or Business course. Well, when I know what I want, I told them. And here come my mum telling me to take up tourism course. Sigh.
Asked my dad if I can take the money from bro. Ended up he's telling that "Your bro getting married. He needs money, so stop taking money from him!" Is like this is the first time I'm asking him for the money? And hey, is not like next month I won't return? This month is hell dry for me. Cause last month total I took 6days of MC. And, end of this month, I gonna fork out another $400 for my retainer. Man..
(I don't like coming home so early. Other then they will nag, and I don't have a peace of heart at home. My house right now is like a hotel to me. Come home, shower and sleep that all. No sense of belonging..)
What's next was my brother getting married. My dad been asking me to take a look out for computer. What's that big issue about? YM(bro) getting married like end of the year. I still have so many donkey months to take a look out. Plus, I treat my house like a hotel, doesn't have the time to use the net. Even if I did, just check my mails, and head out. I don't stay home and use for long. (Other then off days.)
I wanna get myself a labby, cause I can bring out and use. But ended up my dad ask me to grab a desktop. Argh. He ask me to choose, yet he tell me what to buy. What's wrong with the people nowadays?
And lastly. My sis wanna change the layout of the room. Wanna get new bed and everything. She was suggesting to get a double deck bed. (That's the reason why I don't like to share bedroom.) Which I disagree. Who gonna take the upper deck? Come on, be realistic a little, I'm so freaking tall, I will hit the damn ceilling when I wake up. And my dad was like saying "whoever come home late will take the lower deck." I spoke to myself saying "I will comfirm come home after 3am."
Because I never appreciate nice things. I wanna get a queen size bed at the lower deck. And my mum was like saying "Why must you need a queen size bed? And who gonna pay for the new bed? And what you gonna do with the single bed you have now?" Argh. If things can work out in a simple way, I want to..
I don't like to argue with them. Cause whatever I say, no one gonna appreciate what I have to say, or want to say. Cause to them, I never make any sense. I have my own reason, but did they ever want to open up and listen to me? Never.. That's why I never like my home, never even love my home. To me, its just another hotel that I stay...
I called Mr Nameless that day that I argue with my parents. A couple of days before, we chatted on SMS. Saying that we will be there for each other during our darkest period. Well, I called, I SMS him telling that I need someone to talk to. No respond till the following day. Which I make the move of starting to SMS him.
Went to Double C with Queenie, bump onto Newell there. Have fun, and I SMS him asking him why didn't he get back to me the moment he receive my SMS? And he replied "She saw everything." Expected. He has training on Thursday, and it was the day I called him. And, they haven't being seeing each other for the past 1 week. Due to her calling me. And he actually confronted her. (In details I don't know what happen.) And I roughly guess that she will be going down to the place where he has his training.
And I don't understand why can't he just pick up my call? Just because they're together? We promise to be there for one another as a friend of course. What happen now? Why everytime we say one thing and we're reacting in another way?
Why whenever I really wanna let go, and you turn back. Its like 3weeks since we see one another, and what happen next was you wanting to meet up for dinner. And yes, I admit that back then we wanted to meet up, but we didn't. And I said when he's ready to meet up as a friend, then call me.
We meet up, we slack around, laughing and having fun. Pretending that nothing happen? Why whenever things go out of way, we never sit down and talk about it before? The past 3weeks, how things go on at your side? You are never happy about it, so am I. What now? Gonna go MIA again? And weeks later come back again?
I gonna face the facts right now. I never give up on you all along, you are the one who give up on me. Don't do all those stupid and silly things anymore. By trying luck and sit and my area hoping to see me? If you wanna meet me, just call me. I don't want you to be the silly one doing all these all over again.. And again.. I really give up trying, give up wanting to be better..
You once said that to me..
"The girl in my dream is my longest movie.. "
Because so many people are telling me, "Bell, you deserve someone so much more better then Mr. Nameless.." And I know..
But I just can't let go..
{/ --
( 3/10/2008 12:16:00 PM )
I think I'm fine. I guess there's ain't much things to blog about. Other then so many friends of mine having celebration, birthdays, to house warming, to baby full month or even wedding. March is hell busy. BUSY and BUSY. (or perhaps, i've been busy doing nothing..)
Seriously, I've lost touch with blogging. So much things happen at home, at work, or even my personal life. But I just don't know where to start, or how to start, or perhaps I can't be bother to blog about anything.
Right now, the only thing I'm looking forward is 24th March 08.. :)
{/ --
Wednesday, March 05, 2008 ( 3/05/2008 10:51:00 AM )
I've been fine, I've been great. (: I'm just busy.. Busy with doing nothing..
And I will never try to deny that you are my whole life. Cause if you ever let me go, I would die so I won't run, I don't need another man. I just need you or nothing Cause if I got that, then I'll be straight. Baby you're the best part of my day.
I'm into you and no one else would do with every kiss and every hug, you make me fall in love. And now I know I can't be the only one, I bet there's hearts all over the world tonight with the love of their life who feel what I feel when I'm with you..
{/ --
Sunday, March 02, 2008 ( 3/02/2008 01:21:00 AM )
Its 1st March. Time to move on. Jia you! (: GOodbye.. Only beautiful memories..
If we; Should be getting under
These sheets; We could lie in this bed; But it's Empty
These sheets; We could lie in this bed; But it's Empty
Maybe we're trying
Trying too hard; Maybe we're torn apart
alan kor
albert
ann
ariane
ben
christine
daryn
elena
elina
huihui mummy
hq
J
javier
jo
kai sheng
kelvin
n282
rapheal
saren
sze li
sze yin
terrance
xindai
wei jie
william
yiping
ying yan
yuliana
butik gue
fashion stage
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Trying too hard; Maybe we're torn apart
{/links --
ctrl + left click
alan kor
albert
ann
ariane
ben
christine
daryn
elena
elina
huihui mummy
hq
J
javier
jo
kai sheng
kelvin
n282
rapheal
saren
sze li
sze yin
terrance
xindai
wei jie
william
yiping
ying yan
yuliana
{/online shopping --
butik gue
fashion stage
{/archives --
watch me waste my life away
02/01/2004 - 03/01/2004
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Maybe the timing
Is beating our hearts; We're Empty
now playing
周杰伦 - 说好的幸福呢
你的回话凌乱着 在这个时刻
我想起喷泉旁的白鸽 甜蜜散落了
情绪莫名的拉扯 我还爱你呢
而你断断续续唱着歌 假装没事了
时间过了 走了 爱情面临选择
你冷了 倦了 我哭了
离开时的不快乐 你用卡片手写着
有些爱只给到这真的痛了
怎么了 你累了
说好的 幸福呢
我懂了 不说了
爱淡了 梦远了
(我都还记得)
开心与不开心一一细数着
你再不舍
那些爱过的感觉都太深刻
我都还记得
你不等了
说好的 幸福呢
我错了 泪干了
放手了 后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着
要怎么停呢
Is beating our hearts; We're Empty
{/miscellaneous --
my virtual barang
now playing
周杰伦 - 说好的幸福呢
你的回话凌乱着 在这个时刻
我想起喷泉旁的白鸽 甜蜜散落了
情绪莫名的拉扯 我还爱你呢
而你断断续续唱着歌 假装没事了
时间过了 走了 爱情面临选择
你冷了 倦了 我哭了
离开时的不快乐 你用卡片手写着
有些爱只给到这真的痛了
怎么了 你累了
说好的 幸福呢
我懂了 不说了
爱淡了 梦远了
(我都还记得)
开心与不开心一一细数着
你再不舍
那些爱过的感觉都太深刻
我都还记得
你不等了
说好的 幸福呢
我错了 泪干了
放手了 后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着
要怎么停呢