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ramblings of a young adult

i hate it when i'm alone,waling around aimlessly.no idea what to do, where to go. sigh. i'm pretending to be ok, looks ok, but deep down, i doubt so.

recalling when grandma was at my place when my uncle and his family were oversea. that sence was realLy like the movie from Jack Neo. Grandma sitting there helplessly, watching into space,walking upand down of my house,whereby im at the room playing pc. i wish i could turn back time to that period of time.

she went to the kitchen and pour a cup of ice water, i was really angry at that point, and i scolded her.she pour away and walked back to the living room, and i head back to room, she went back again, doing the same thing.i scolded her again. i was at the boiling point at that time. i didnt mean to do that. sorry grandma.

i wonder is there ice in heaven? cause grandma love to have ice water and sweet drinks. she loves beers too.

sigh

i miss grandma cooking. especially hakka dishes. :(

i hope i'll feel better as time goes by. today is the 7th day since she left. i hope she's doing fine.

i miss you grandma.

another day just pass like that. i hate doing nothing. trying so hard to make myself busy, but i cant. things just keep coming cross my mind when i'm abit free. i dont like, i really dont like.

i hate the way i'm behaving right now. so helpless. dont know what to do. head been aching real bad. panadol doesn't seems to help at all.

bf been great,trying to accompany me,making me feel better. whereby i can cry freely infront of him. aint afraid of shame. his presence just make me feel so much better. he tried not to make me think of the fact that grandma is gone, he really tried to make me laugh. but i guess, he know that all these laughters from me are fake one.

my face is in real bad shape. lots of pimples or perhaps dirts, but i aint gonna care. without contact lens to work, no image at all. no sense of dressing,because all these doesn't make any different to me at all.

sigh.

no matter how much i'm hoping that grandma will come back, no matter how hard i wish that time will turn back, everything will still be the same.. perhaps, i should just learn to let go of these facts.

i miss you, grandma.

its my break time now. using hp to online. things aint getting better. grandma keep coming round my mind. its not easy. bf keep asking me to learn to let go.

recalling those time when i was young,how she used to tie my hair,making sure i look the best at school. she's always here with me, bringing me everywhere she goes. buy my favourite breakfast. asking me every night if i wanna have hot milo before i go to bed.

she aged as years go by. from daily routine to weekly, and now, i'll never get to see her again.

she always said that i'm naughty,always run around,she had a hard time trying to locate me. my bro and i, went to some school to play,she walk one big round, the whole of bedok south just to find us.she worried that we might lost or what.

recalling that last sunday,just a normal day of dinner with her. she had her favourite sharkfin, she ate alot that night. i thought her appetite get better but i was wrong. i didnt know this just happen so fast.

mum called telling me that my beloved grandma pass away. tears just helpless keep strolling down my cheeks. i felt so helpless. and i dont know what to do. i rushed back, and saw grandma at the coach. her feet turn white and cold. that moment,i know what grandma already left us.

i cried to myself. and i wanna be strong. the moment i saw her, i dont know what to do. the grandma that i love,already made her way to heaven to find grandpa.

but i know what she's with grandpa now, watching us as we grow.

pains will always be around, and love towards them will be strong. but i know, they will never ever leave me.

R.I.P. grandma
00-00-1935 - 17-07-2009

i love you.

R.I.P. grandma. You'll always be in my heart. Finally you can join grandpa in Heaven. I love you..

Its been awhile again.. Its 330am now, and I'm still here. I've just get to surf net. Really doing nothing much, other then the song, keep playing around my hear. The song that shop always play, and everyone in the shop been singing along etc etc..

Been living well, doing well. Health getting better either. Was down with very bad flu, cough, sore throat. And what's next? Fever. Sounds so damn like H1N1. But its just a normal flu etc.

Was pretty scare at that time, moreover I'm in town, get to interact with tourist more. (Maybe higher chance) Oh well, I'm really fine now..

Just feeling a little hungry now.. Nothing much happen these few weeks, just get my house painted. I guess, next week will be my room turn to get paint. At least its better, where by its not HOT PINK.(I detest PINK)

Thanks to BF for coming my place to help my parents with painting the house. He's tired, can tell, but he really put in 100% with it. Never get to see him get so serious before.


Hmmmm... This relationship been going on for 5months. Didn't do much things. Less shopping(but I manage to get 1 Gucci wallet *HEE HEE*), less tanning. Still movie-ing, like most of the fridays/saturdays night. Fishing, MJ-ing, slacking. Travel. (Next up place, TIOMAN!!!) Sounds boring, but its not! I never really like fishing and prawning. ITS BORING CAN! But with BF around, things just turn the other way round. The laughter from him never makes me bored.

We've been meeting everyday through out the relationship(only 2times whereby he's working night shift, and the other time whereby we quarrel), almost doing same thing every weekend, but I never get bored!

We've been thru thick and thin. Under the sun and under the rain(due to taking bike) but I'm really thankful he has been here with me. Walking with me thru ups and downs together. Though most of the time I upset him alot, he'll still hold onto my hand and continue walking with me.







Will update soon, I promise..



PS: This song doesn't imply anything. I'm just falling in love with it. (:



Can't wait until your arms are wrapped around me tight, all night, every night. We'll watch the stars turn into the morning light, right there side by side. The things you say, the little things you do, make me come, make me go ohh ohh. I need you close, I'll be home soon. And when I get back, I'm gonna stick like glue.

I gotta get back to where I never feel alone, back to the best and only love I've ever known. To the familiar face, that smile, you make me laugh until I cry, where I'm in love, cause you're my honey.

I'm running on back to you, I love what you do to me baby. The touch of you makes me go crazy, I figure there's only one thing to do, I gotta get back to you. I need you to whisper in my ear, and tell me the things that I want to hear. The moment that I got here boy I knew, I've gotta get back to you.

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